Balk

by Joy Eileen

  “Thanks, Uncle Trip,” Norah said before biting off a huge chunk and chewing it.

  “Oh, so it’s Uncle Trip now?” I asked as my parents, Renee, and Brian sent each other knowing looks.

  “Yeah, even if you don’t get married I’m still going to call him Uncle Trip.”

  My mom choked on the drink she just took and my dad patted her on the back as he chuckled under his breath.

  “I’m honored to be your Uncle Trip.”

  I snatched my plate and went to the kitchen, not wanting to see what face Trip was making at the moment, or really anyone else’s face at the table.

  “Hey.” Renee came up behind me and helped me put the dishes in the dishwasher.

  “What are you doing in here? Get out there and spend time with your man. He’s leaving for two weeks. I’ve got these.”

  Renee sagged against the counter and her eyes started to fill. I dried my hands on my butt and hugged her. She clung to me as she sighed deeply into my shoulder.

  “It’s two weeks. It won’t be that long. He’ll be back farting and watching TV on the couch before you know it.”

  Renee giggled and rolled her now tear free eyes. “I know. I’m just going to miss him. It’s going to be lonely working without him coming in and bugging me.”

  “You can always bring your sewing machine back here while he’s gone.”

  After a month, Brian convinced Renee to use one of his four garages as her work station. With the bigger space, she was able to hold more material and process more orders. It made sense in the business aspect, but I’d be the first to admit I missed the sound of her sewing machine in the background while I studied, or her cussing up a storm when her machine stopped working and she needed me to fix it.

  “I promised munchkin ice cream. Do you want to come with us, Kenna?” Brian peeked his head into the kitchen.

  He gave Renee a small smile and held out his arms. She hesitated before walking into them and wrapping her arms around him.

  “No, I’m going to finish putting the dishes away and study. You guys have fun. And, Brian, you better win some damn games for me. I’m counting on you.”

  Brian smiled before leading Renee back to our tiny dining area and saying goodbye to my parents and Trip.

  “Honey, we’re going to get out of here. Do you need any help before we go?” my mom asked, coming over and putting her arms around my waist.

  “No, I’m almost done. I’ll see you guys soon.”

  My mom patted my cheek. “Why don’t you let me cook next time? Renee’s going to be sad with Brian gone, so I’ll fix her favorite.”

  “You’re a good mom.”

  “Well, I have two fantastic daughters.”

  My dad came over and hugged me goodbye as I finished getting the kitchen back in order.

  “Everything’s all done. You can come out now,” I yelled, leaning against the counter.

  “I was just about to come in here and ask if you needed any help,” Trip announced, coming into the kitchen, with a grin.

  “You’re an ass.”

  “But you love me.”

  “Do I love you enough to let you watch the next Harry movie with me?”

  “I brought pie.”

  He went over and grabbed a pie out of the backpack he brought in when he came over.

  “Damn you,” I hissed as I grabbed two spoons and headed toward the living room.

  Chapter Nine

  “She’s not going to be able to play the rest of the game,” the paramedic stated after examining Claire’s shin.

  Even though I’d already assessed her injury and knew what he was going to say, it didn’t stop me from gritting my teeth at his prognosis.

  “Raine, you’re in,” Trip grunted, getting up from his squatting position near Claire and locking his gaze on me.

  “Yes, Coach Butler.”

  I saw the side of his lip twitch, but he got it under control.

  The first inning after Claire’s injury was a struggle. Frustration battered against my sternum and my heart had to fight with it for every beat.

  When I mercifully got my last strike to end the inning I fought the urge to curl up in the fetal position and cry. My head wasn’t in the game and it was obvious.

  Brian had come back from his away games and Renee and Norah were over at his house constantly. My life was shifting and I had no control over it. It was making me crazy.

  I woke up that morning and cooked pancakes all by myself while Pride and Prejudice and Zombies played in the background. It didn’t help that Trip’s rehab was moving along faster than anticipated. He was slowly starting to practice with the Pappies. Change was no longer coming, it was here.

  “What the hell is going on with you, Raine?” Trip asked, plopping down on the bench next to me.

  His hat was pulled down low and I watched his shadowed lips become a frown. I turned my head and spotted my parents looking worriedly into the dugout. The seats next to them were painfully empty. Renee and Norah were watching Brian practice with the Pappies.

  “Nothing, Coach,” I said, realizing the team was watching.

  “McKenna.” Trip’s voice was low, also aware of our audience.

  The sound of my name on his lips, the lips of Coach Butler and not Trip the friend, almost had me sobbing on the bench. I closed my eyes and recited muscles, refusing to give into my wild emotions. They were hormones and I wasn’t going to let them take control.

  The bench groaned as Trip got up and walked away, leaving me with my thoughts. After gaining three runs it was my turn to get back on the field. The game was almost over, I just needed to power through.

  My first pitch went wild and missed my catcher by a mile. The fans booed and cheered as I wound up for another pitch. This time I was able to make it near my catcher’s mitt as the umpire yelled for the second ball.

  “Time,” Trip’s voice rang out.

  He stomped toward me, his hat still obscuring his eyes. I waited, knowing there was nothing he could say to bring the fire into my stomach to finish the game out right.

  I kicked the dirt at the mound, not wanting to see his lips when he talked.

  “Raine,” Trip sounded exasperated and I figured even he realized there was nothing he could say to get me going.

  “I’ll finish the inning, Coach.”

  It wasn’t his fault I couldn’t get my head into the game. Well, partially.

  “I know you will, Raine. But how close are you going to let the game get? We’re not ahead by much. Are you just trying to give me gray hair?”

  “Age will do that for you. You don’t need me for your naturally graying hair.”

  I looked up to see Trip’s lips lift at the side.

  “There she is. I thought I lost you in all the moping you were doing.”

  “I wasn’t moping,” I hissed.

  I was totally moping.

  “Let’s get this damn game done. It’s the first real game of the season and I’d like a nice big lead at the end.”

  “Overcompensating?”

  Trip turned and headed off to the side of the diamond. Before he took two steps he jabbed. I waited for it, figuring it would be a puny little tap with no real power behind it. I was wrong.

  “The JackholeS are overrated.”

  Red.

  I saw red. The next three batters didn’t have a chance. How dare he insult the band that had gotten me through my high school years? Their lyrics penetrated deep into my soul, and I knew they understood me without ever meeting them. They were my people. Trip was not my people.

  “Good job, honey,” my mom said, hugging me.

  “I have to know. What did Trip say to you out there? You looked like you were out for blood when he left the mound.” My dad looked at me, waiting for an answer.

  I couldn’t even form the words Trip had uttered.

  My dad looked at my face and his eyes widened with surprise. “That good, huh?”

  I ground my teeth, still unable to a
ccept Trip’s words.

  “We’re going out to eat. Do you want to come with us?” my mom asked.

  I could tell she wanted to wheedle what he said to me out. She must have read my face that it wasn’t happening.

  “I’m going to pass. There’s an ice bath with my name on it and after that jammies and take-out.”

  My parents hugged me and told me to call them if I changed my mind. I limped into the locker room, ready for numbness.

  The team was already gone, leaving the locker room blissfully quiet. After the win they left in a loud uproar to get their party on. They asked me to go. I refused. Especially when I caught Claire’s glare. I’d never fit in with them, and I was extremely fine with that.

  I inched into the ice bath. My teeth were gritted together as I eased into the hellish heaven. Every muscle protested at the agony I was forcing upon them until I went numb. Delightfully numb.

  I leaned my head back and stared at the pocked ceiling, allowing the icy pain to remove my thoughts. The quiet was euphoric. Even pitching in a red haze of anger, my thoughts pounded against the back of my head, waiting to pounce after I annihilated the inning. The ice bath was doing something I wasn’t able to do since I woke up and ate my lonely breakfast with brain eating zombies. It shut everything out.

  “Hey, Raine.” Trip’s voice infiltrated my numb bubble and I couldn’t help but frown. “Your parents said I’d find you here.”

  I felt the energy of his nearness bring to life my frozen nerve endings. His masculine smell penetrated my nostrils. I squeezed my eyelids together, hoping to return to my peaceful state of mind.

  “McKenna, what’s wrong?”

  Damn it, he had to use my name again. I opened my eyes and slowly turned my head. Trip’s hat was off and his blue eyes roamed over my face as if trying to get a read on me.

  “The JackholeS are not overrated,” I blurted out, and to my horror my eyes filled with tears.

  “McKenna, I was just trying to light a fire under you. I was afraid it wouldn’t work, because everyone knows the JackholeS are amazing. I can’t believe you actually listened to me.”

  Tears streamed down my face and my arms refused to move so I could swipe them away. Trip frowned, and before I knew his intention, he was hauling me out of the icy water. I let him. My limbs weren’t functioning even if I wanted to push him away.

  Trip sat crossed legged on the concrete floor with me cuddled into him. My cold body sucked up the heat he was creating, while his clothes soaked up the water clinging to me.

  “What’s the matter? Darlin’, I need you to talk to me. I can’t make it better if I don’t know what’s bothering you.”

  I buried my face into his shoulder and sobbed. His calloused hand made its way up and down my spine. Trip’s movement brought back sensation to my muscles, reminding me I was only wearing a sports bra and sports shorts.

  “Come on, Raine. I was kidding about the JackholeS. I’ll take you to a concert if you want. I’ll sing every song and fangirl out right next to you.”

  “Everything’s changing,” I said, stopping Trip’s rambling.

  “The music?”

  I took my face from his shoulder, wanting to see him when I explained. “No, not the music. The JackholeS’ music will always be epic. I meant life. Renee and Norah are always over at Brian’s house. We haven’t had a family dinner this week. I ate pancakes all by myself this morning. And now you’re practicing with the Pappies, and you’re going to leave me too. Even after you forced your friendship on me.”

  My bottom lip quivered as I thought about how lonely I’d be without Trip coming over and watching movies on the couch with me. There were times he was the only company I had, especially with Renee and Brian’s relationship getting more serious.

  Trip’s hand ghosted over my face, pushing the wet strands of hair off my cheek.

  “I’m sorry,” he said in a whisper. His fingers brushed the bottom of my tangled hair.

  “I don’t like change. I’m scared I’m losing everyone I love.” Big tears raced down my cheeks.

  Trip grabbed my neck and pulled my head back into his shoulder.

  “Shhhh, baby. You’re not losing anyone. You’re too amazing of a friend. Nobody wants to lose you.”

  Did he just call me baby?

  “I’m not used to being by myself. I lived with my parents and then Renee and Norah. It’s so quiet.”

  “What can I do to make it better?” His hand tightened around my shoulder before continuing down my spine.

  “Can I call you Alfred?” I asked, not wanting to miss an opportunity.

  “No, but I can start coming over more.”

  “You don’t have to. I know you’re getting back into the swing of things with your team. You don’t need to come over and keep me company. You go and be Trip Butler, baseball star extraordinaire.”

  “I don’t want to be Trip Butler, baseball star extraordinaire. I want to be Trip Butler, McKenna’s friend. Besides, two nights a week isn’t enough to get all the facts stored in your brain.” Trip tapped the side of my head. “I feel like I’m missing out. And what are friends for?”

  “Really?” I lifted my head and felt a real smile form.

  “Of course. Come on, let’s get take-out and go to your place to watch TV. I saw Coach Mae lurking around here, so you go get dressed and I’ll get the food and meet you at your house.”

  “Hey, how would you feel about being Alfred Butler, friend to McKenna Raine who may or may not be Batman?”

  Trip shook his head as he placed his finger over his lips to keep me quiet. For a brief moment I wished my lips could replace his finger.

  Trip took off after giving me a thumbs-up indicating we were in the clear with Coach Mae. I threw on a hoodie and raced to my car, wanting to get home and changed before Trip showed up.

  Trip must have some type of wizard blood in him. My breakdown was forgotten as I relaxed on the couch, my feet in his lap. We watched a comedy and the sound of Trip’s belly laughs made my body feel light.

  My eyes got heavy, and I snuggled further into the couch.

  Trip’s arms gathered me up and before I could register what was happening he was tucking me into my bed.

  “Get some sleep, Raine.”

  “Night, Alfred.”

  I dreamed of his lips ghosting over my forehead as I drifted off to sleep.

  “Rise and shine, Raine.”

  I grabbed the covers and groaned at the amount of effort it took to pull them over my head. Clearly I should have stayed in the ice bath longer.

  “What are you doing here?” I grumbled from under my blanket protection.

  “I brought you breakfast, grumpy.”

  I flipped the covers down, surprised at his answer. His hair was styled in a messy sexy way as his blue eyes sparkled. He waived a brown paper bag in front of my face.

  “You brought me breakfast?” I asked dumbly, wondering if I was still dreaming.

  “I did. And you need to hurry up and eat.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m coaching my nephew’s t-ball team and we have our first game today.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t hide the disappointment that he’d only be staying for breakfast before I was alone again.

  “Oh, is that all I get? Hurry up and eat, Raine, so you can get dressed. Your hair will scare the kids. Or maybe don’t get ready, we can use you to make the other team lose focus for an easy win.”

  I smiled broadly. He wanted me to go to the game with him. He smirked, just like he did last night when I donned my Pappies sweatpants and hoodie when I scrambled out of bed.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t change. You look good with my number on your back.”

  Trip turned and walked out as I tried to get my cheeks from overheating. I was going to have to install a radiator to keep my body homeostatic when Trip was around.

  I climbed in Trip’s Explorer and went immediately to his radio.

  “What are you listening to?
” I asked as my finger touched the playlist.

  “Hey, nobody touches Diego’s controls but me.”

  “You named your Explorer Diego? As in, the animal rescuer and Dora’s cousin?”

  “Well, it was either Diego or Boots,” Trip grumbled, moving his hand so he could drive.

  A thrill went through me when I noticed the playlist he was currently listening to. “The JackholeS, huh? Overrated, huh?”

  “I told you I was just trying to get you out of your funk so you’d pitch like I knew you could.”

  Trip pushed his hat down on his head and refused to look at me. I smiled and sat back in the seat, listening to the JackholeS while Trip Butler drove me to his nephew’s game. Life was becoming more and more peculiar.

  I startled from the seat. “Wait, this is your nephew’s game?” I could hear the panic in my voice.

  Trip glanced at me before putting his eyes back on the road. “Yes.”

  “Does that mean your family’s going to be there?”

  “Yes, my sister, my nephew’s mom will be there. Her husband’s working. I don’t know about my parents.” Trip frowned.

  “I’m not good with people, Trip. You should take me back. When I get nervous I start spouting off weird facts and normally fall or drop something.”

  I rubbed my sweaty hands on my legs and groaned.

  “McKenna, it will be fine.”

  Trip’s hand covered one of mine to still it, but it didn’t work.

  “I’m wearing shorts and a JackholeS tank top, Trip.” I gestured with the hand that wasn’t captured by his.

  “I’m very aware of what you’re wearing, Raine.” Trip’s jaw clenched and his hand squeezed mine again.

  “I can’t meet people wearing this.” I decided to try one more time.

  “McKenna, it’s a four-year-old’s t-ball game. It’s warm outside. Most people will be wearing something similar to you. My sister isn’t going to bite you. You’re getting all worked up for nothing. My parents most likely won’t be there, and if they are they won’t bite you either.”

  “Can you just take me home, please?”

  “Can’t, we’re here, and I see some of the team already.”

  Trip squeezed my hand before climbing out and pulling his equipment bag out of the back of the Explorer.