by Sophia Gray
“Let me see.” Rafe burst into the bathroom and spun me around.
“Stop manhandling me like I’m some thug. I didn’t do anything. I was just sitting in my damn seat.” I tried to shove his hands away but he wouldn’t be stopped.
“Do you think you’ll need stitches? Should we go back to the hospital?”
“No. Now let me go.” I shoved him gain and he dropped his hands. “I’m just going to clean it up and use those butterfly Band-Aids. Like I did on your shoulder.” I jabbed my finger into his shoulder and finding myself disappointed that he didn’t even wince at the discomfort.
I gathered up my supplies and began working. He watched me in the mirror and I had to stop him from getting in my way several times. “Let me help,” he insisted, tearing the cotton ball from my hand. “You can’t even see the damn thing.” He poured more antiseptic on the cotton and began to dab at the wound in the same way I had been. “There’s no glass.” He answered my question before I could ask.
“Rafe.” I held up the Band-Aids for him. “Were we just shot at?” I asked with a heavy feeling in my stomach, already knowing the answer. Everything was about to get worse once he answered the question. Because I knew the answer, and I knew what it meant for me and Maddie.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure.” He answered softly. Like he knew, too, what that meant for us. He took the Band-Aids and began to apply them like I told him to. I didn’t pull away when it hurt, instead I focused on the pain. Physical pain I could deal with; it was easy to get through. Mind over matter, but when it came to emotional hurt, that was harder, and I didn’t want to feel that yet.
“What’s going on?” I finally asked when he finished patching me up. I didn’t look at him, couldn’t bring myself to see him yet. Instead, I focused on cleaning up the mess in the bathroom. “Is it because of Jason? Because you’re trying to find his killer?”
He leaned against the counter and dragged both hands through his hair. “I don’t know. Maybe.” I looked up at him and saw the worry in his face as he looked at me. “Your face.” He said in a tormented tone and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly to him. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”
“No.” I mumbled into his chest. His arms trapped me, but I wasn’t ready to struggle for my freedom quite yet.
“I’m going to find who did this, and he’s fucking dead.” The vow was spoken in a deep growl. It sounded as though it came from someone else, someone not holding me so tenderly.
“Rafe. It’s your vengeance that’s making this all worse.” I did push away from him then to look at him. “An eye for an eye doesn’t work. It only leads to a bunch of blind men running around.”
“I’m not going to let whoever did this get away with it.” His brows nearly connected his scowl was so deep.
I took a deep breath. “Rafe.” Tears began to puddle in my eyes and I had to look away to get my nerve back up. “Rafe, you can’t be here. You can’t be around us. Not while you’re on this revenge mission.”
“Beth—”
“We were shot at, Rafe! Look at my face.” I pointed to the bandages now covering up part of my cheek. “My little girl was in the car!” The more I thought about the danger she’d been in the hotter my blood began to run. “I never should have let you come here. I should have just left you alone in the hospital.” I shook my head and took a step back from him until my back was pressed against the wall.
“I told you I would protect you.” His hands fisted at his sides.
“You can’t protect us from bullets, Rafe. What if that glass had cut up Maddie? What if the bullet had actually hit one of us?” I covered my mouth at the mental image of my daughter hurt by flying glass or worse a stray bullet.
“You are safer with me than without me,” he said in a hard tone. “That’s the truth of it. And maybe you should have left me in the hospital. Maybe you shouldn’t have gone in that back room with me to begin with, but you did. So now you’re stuck with me, Beth. You don’t say when this is done. You don’t say when you’re done with me.”
“Fuck you!” I slapped at his chest. It was hard enough to make the decision to get him out of our lives. “You can’t be this asshole. Don’t be this asshole.”
“When this is all over, when the fuckers are caught and dead, and you’re safe again, then you can decide to throw me out or now, but not right now. Not when you need me, not when I need you.” He reached for me, pulling me to him even as I tried to shove him away.
His captured my chin in one hand and before I could stop him, before I could think to jump away, his lips crashed down on mine. The touch I needed at that moment, the electrical heat of his body pressed against mine, making me forget my fears and my protests.
I parted my lips at his command, and his tongue brushed against mine. His hands moved to my shoulders, holding me to him as he deepened the kiss. My insides melted against him, my body wanted his touch, craved it even while my brain tried to tell me to get away from him.
“You’re dangerous,” I whispered against his lips when he released me. “Too dangerous.”
“Let me keep you safe, then you can kick me out of your life. But not until I know your safe.” He wiped a tear that had fallen from my cheek. It hurt, and the burn in my chest increased. With regret? With hope? I wasn’t sure, but I did know that he wasn’t going to leave. He wouldn’t just leave us, not when he thought we were in danger. I both loathed and loved him for it.
Loved him? Could I love someone as dangerous and stubborn as him? Madison could have been killed, I could have been killed. That should have been a huge warning sign. A neon flashing light screaming at me to put Madison in the car and haul our asses out of town. But the way he looked at me, the gentle, firm way he held me, made me start to think he could do what he vowed. He could keep us safe.
“Mama?” Madison’s little voice interrupted our stare down. “Mama. After our pizza, can I sleep with you tonight?”
Rafe released me so I could scoop her up. “You bet you can.” I hugged her tight, giving Rafe one more glance before I headed out of the bathroom. “Rafe can sleep on the couch.” I called over my shoulder so he would hear me.
Chapter Fourteen
RAFE
I watched my girls eat their breakfast while I was deliberating what to do first. I’d put a call into Gray after they went to bed the night before letting him know what happened. I couldn’t tell for sure, but I’d bet my bike he wasn’t as surprised as he pretended to be about it.
I meant what I told Beth; I was going to find who hurt her and end them. I couldn’t track down Javier before, but I had a good lead on where to dig him up. After I dropped Beth at work, and made sure Madison was safe at that daycare, I was heading right over there. If Jason was right about Javier getting back into the drug runs with Hell’s Spawn, he may have made contact with our club as well. Jason never would have let that happen.
“I just need to get my purse, and I’m ready to go. Maddie, go grab your little blanket. It’s in the dryer.”
Maddie stuffed the last bit of her pancake in her mouth and jumped off her chair, running from the room. I didn’t think it was possible to become so damn attached to a kid, but that little girl could ask me for anything and I’d move mountains to get it for her. That went double for her mama.
The shooting the night before scared the hell out of Beth. Fuck, scared the shit out of me, too. When I looked back and saw the gash on her cheek, I just about lost it. As much as she was right, her attachment to me was putting her in danger, it didn’t matter. Even if I bowed out gracefully, it was too late. If they wanted to get to me through her, they would do it now even if she did throw me out of her life.
I wasn’t going to go anywhere until the heat was gone and the two of them were completely safe. I knew it was my fault, them being in danger, but I couldn’t think about that too much. I needed to figure out who the fuck was behind everything and stop them. My first gut feeling had been Javier fucking with the club, but then Tris
tan was killed. His murder was more personal, more connected to Jason than to any drug trafficking. Tristan wasn’t even part of the club back when we tried to work with Javier.
“Ready?” Beth stood at the door with Madison’s hand tucked in hers. Her hair had been pulled back into a tight bun at the base of her neck. Her purple scrubs didn’t hide her curves from me, and my body wanted to be inside of her again. Madison slept in her bed last night, leaving me on the couch having more wet dreams about her than when I was in high school.
“Yeah. Ready.” I snatched the car keys from the hook by the door and headed out into the bright morning sun. After the girls had gone to bed the night before I went back outside and cleaned out the car from the broken glass. I never found shell casings or a bullet hole anywhere in the interior. It didn’t look like a kill attempt. One shot only? If someone was trying to kill us, they would have shot more than once, and they sure as hell wouldn’t have let us just drive away. A warning shot? Maybe my looking into Jason’s death was pissing someone off. I hoped it was the killer, because fuck him.
I took a look at Beth’s cut when she got out of the shower, and helped clean it and re-bandage it. She wasn’t thrilled about going to work with the white bandages on her face, but she didn’t give me any trouble about keeping them on.
“It’s going to scar,” she had whispered to herself while looking in the mirror.
“It’ll be small. No one will see. Besides, you’re too hot for a little scar to hurt you.” I had kissed her neck, basking in the smell of her body wash. I had tried to get in the shower with her, to alleviate some of the physical stress of knowing she was naked in there, but Madison woke up and needed help with picking out her clothes.
It amazed me how easily I slipped into their lives. Madison wasn’t afraid of me. When I walked out of the bathroom without my shirt on, she pointed to my tats and asked who drew on me. When I laughed and told her I asked someone to do it, she asked me if my mom had gotten mad at me. Because she drew on her arm once with a black marker and Beth had put her in time out for it.
I let Beth strap in Madison, while I took a look at the street again, looking for anyone who look like they belonged. Beth lived in a small subdivision that was made up mostly of small ranch houses. A family neighborhood. Kids were already out playing in the front yards with their moms or sitters sitting on the porches. I didn’t see anything that got my hackles up, so I slid into the driver’s seat just as she was buckling herself up.
“We’ll need plastic for the window in case it rains,” she pointed out, dropping her phone into her purse. She looked worn out. Worried.
I gripped her hand in mine and gave it a little squeeze. “I’ll take care of it this morning.”
She nodded.
“Rafe, can we have pizza for dinner again tonight?” Madison called to me from the backseat.
“That’s your mama’s call.” I handed that over to Beth. She did the mom thing a hell of a lot better. I would only spoil the girl if it was left up to me. Having grown up with so little, it would be easy for me to smother her with anything she wanted. As though that could make up for what I lacked.
“No pizza.” Beth slid her sunglasses on. “I have a frozen lasagna that Mrs. Olsen made us that we haven’t eaten yet. How about that?”
I caught Madison’s scrunched up pout in the rear view mirror and I turned my head so she wouldn’t see me smiling. “Yuck.”
“Madison, Mrs. Olsen made it special for us. And you love her cooking.”
“Actually, do you think Mrs. Olsen could watch her tonight? Tristan’s viewing is tonight, and I want you with me.”
“Why?” She handed Madison a small toy and turned back to face me.
“Because you’re my girl and it’s best if the club sees you with me,” I responded while making a right turn.
“Best for who?” she demanded. I didn’t like the tone, but with Maddie watching us I was a little limited in the things I could say in return.
“Best for us both. Some of the other members from other clubs will stop by to pay their respects, this way they’ll see you by my side and know you’re protected.”
“Or they’ll see me as a way to get to you since you insist on digging into Jason’s death.” Her phone beeped from her purse and she dug it out.
“We aren’t having that conversation again,” I warned her. “Unless you’d like me to pull over and we can step outside.” I took a look at Maddie through the rearview mirror and saw her infatuated with twisting and pulling some stick thing that made music when she manipulated it.
“Stop threatening to…you know. That’s never happening again.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out the window. The breeze from the open space blew through her hair. She closed her eyes, seeming to enjoy the wind on her face.
“You look every bit like Madison when you pout.” I laughed. She didn’t turn to look at me, instead she turned even more away from me, giving me her back. I laughed even louder. “Look, I told you this will all be done once I get to the bottom of Jason’s death. Then it will all settle down and we can just focus on us. The three of us.” I rested my hand on her thigh, feeling the warmth of her skin through her scrub bottoms and wanting to move my hand even further to reach the real warmth of her body.
“The three of us?” She finally twisted back to look at me. I could see the hesitation in her eyes and it bothered me. Sure, things were going fast, but when it was right it was right. I wouldn’t bail like her ex; she would have to learn to trust me on that.
“Yeah. I told you, I don’t walk away from what’s mine.” I pulled the car into the hospital parking lot and parked. “You sure Madison is okay at that daycare?”
“Yes. They have security and you have to swipe your card to even get through the doors. She’s fine there. “
“What time do you get off?”
“Four.”
“I’ll be here. The wake starts at three but I’ll wait until you get off and change before we go. Call that Mrs. Olsen. If she can’t take Madison, I’ll call Jason’s wife. She probably won’t be at the viewing; she won’t go near club shit anymore.”
“But she’ll babysit my kid?” Beth opened the door and started to get out. “I don’t even know her.”
“She’ll babysit because I’ll ask her to. She may hate the club, and me, a little, but she loves kids. Besides, it may be the best way to get her out of her house. She’s been hiding since the funeral.”
“Let’s hope Mrs. Olsen can watch her, then, because I’m not leaving her with some woman who hates your club and only hates you a little less than that.” She yanked open the back door and unbuckled Madison.
As they stood up, I was already out of the car. I pulled Beth in for a long, soft kiss. Fuck, just the taste of her made me want to bend her over the hood, rip down her bottoms and fuck her senseless right there in the parking lot.
“What about me, Rafe?” Madison put her hands out to me and I laughed, taking her from Beth and hugging her tight.
“I wouldn’t forget about you, baby girl.” I put a big kiss on her cheek and put her back on the ground. “Now you be good today, no making trouble at daycare.”
“Please. I’m an angel.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed onto Beth’s hand. “Come on, Mama. I don’t wanna miss breakfast.”
“You just had breakfast.”
“But it’s time for second breakfast.” Madison tugged on her hand a little harder.
“Okay, okay.” She flashed me a grin before she let Madison drags her through the parking lot and into the hospital.
I waited until they were inside the building before I got back into the car. I didn’t want to leave them, I wanted them locked down somewhere. I couldn’t lock them at the clubhouse, because I didn’t trust Gray and I couldn’t lock them down at my house unless I was there with them all day, and I had to get to Javier. I had to find out what he knew.
***
The trip to Javier’s side of town took less tim
e on my bike than in Beth’s car. When I pulled up to his run down house a few blocks from the highway, three guys sat on the front porch smoking a joint. The reefer filled the air and I swiped the smoke away from me as I stepped up to the stairs.
“Javier home?” I asked the fat one perched on the top step.
“Depends. Who’s calling?” He wiped the sweat off his top lip.
“Tell him it’s Rafe. He’ll know.” I adjusted my kutte and propped one foot up on the stairs, watching the other two pass their joint back and forth. The railing creaked from the fat guy’s weight when he pulled himself up, and his scrawny counterparts laughed.
The minutes while he was in the house ticked by painfully slow. Between the two pot heads and the hot ass sun beating down on me, I was getting irritated.