Burnout

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Burnout Page 15

by Taryn Eason


  “What's the craziest thing you've ever done?” I asked.

  “Well, Melanie’s dad, Pierre, had this plane that he used to get product, and a few times I flew on it to Colombia and Venezuela to get shipments. We had friends at the airport, but every single time we left I would get these knots in my stomach, wondering what my parents would think of me if I was ever caught.”

  “Oh, so you were a drug runner too?”

  “I was a little bit of everything back in the day.” He smiled sheepishly. “What about you? What's the craziest thing you've ever done?”

  I had to think for a second. “Well, before I got powers, of course, it would have to be this time I was about sixteen, I met this guy on the internet who went to the same college as Delilah, so I asked to stay the weekend in her dorm room, and stole her roommate’s sorority shirt so I could pretend I went to school there. Then I snuck into a bar and waited for this guy to show up. Only, he looked completely different from his picture, so I hid from him. I ended up making a lot of friends that night, but Delilah never let me stay at her dorm again.” I laughed. “I'm sorry my story is so tame compared to yours.”

  “I don't see how you got by without your powers. That guy had to have been a total creep to go for a sixteen year old.”

  “Yeah, but at sixteen, you just think it's exciting. I'm kind of glad Delilah didn't let me come back though.”

  “Oh yeah, did I tell you what I found out about your powers?” Lye began, “Baldr and Hoor were brothers who had the Reeki at the same time. It was the only case, and the tribe has tried to recreate it several times, but they couldn't. Baldr had the power of invincibility, and Hoor was actually blind and he could create darkness around himself. Anyway, they got in a fight and Hoor actually found a way to kill Baldr and when he died, nobody got the Reeki.”

  I almost laughed at how excited he was to explain this to me. He was definitely more interested in this than I was.

  “So I'm assuming that two people won't get the Reeki when one of you two dies, and it'll go to the person near the sister who dies last, if that makes any sense.”

  “Well, I don't want to think about us dying, so I'm going to go use the bathroom, alright?” I joked, sitting my drink down and heading into the room.

  The alcohol was just beginning to affect me so far, but I could sense it was hitting Lye harder. I stood up to wash my hands as I noticed the mirror was crooked. The medicine cabinet behind it hadn't been closed properly. For the sake of neatness, I tried to push it shut, but it appeared to be caught on something. I opened the mirror in an attempt to unstick it and my heart sank.

  There was a tiny bag of off-white powder that had fallen, blocking the hinge surrounded by rows of needles covering the cabinet.

  I had never seen drugs like that before. I wasn't exactly sure what it was, but anything that needed a needle had to be rough. I knew Lye was a drug dealer in his past, but the bag didn't have enough in it to sell. It had to be for personal use.

  “Lye?” I called shakily, imagining him shoving the needles into his arm. Who was I living with?

  I watched his expression drop as soon as he saw me inside the bathroom, my hand still on the open cabinet.

  “What is this?”

  “Maybelle…” He shook his head. “You weren't supposed to see this.”

  “That's not what I asked.” I felt my hands begin to heat and my eyes brim. I was terrified of how he was going to react.

  For the first time, I saw Lye’s eyes redden. A tear slipped down his cheek. “Please forget about this. Please forget. It’s just a bad habit, but I'm still me.”

  “No you're not. I don't even know you. How could you not tell me about this?”

  “Because I was ashamed! Do you think I just wanted to be a heroin addict? No! I didn't even want to try it! I didn't even have a choice! I hate being like this, but I can't stop.” His voice broke. “I've tried.”

  I was angry. How could he be so stupid? The only thing I knew about heroin was that it was super addictive and that it ruins lives. That's not something that you just wake up one day and decide to try. “How did you not have a choice?”I shouted. “You shoved the needle into your arm, no one else!”

  He put a hand over his mouth, attempting to hide the fact that he was crying. “No I didn't.” He inhaled and steadied his voice. “I was twenty-one and at a party with Melanie, somewhere in California. She… She told me it was cocaine. She did a line and then it was my turn. I was terrified when I realized it was something else. I thought I was about to die. She just laughed at me.”

  He wiped his nose. “She knew. She had been doing it for a while and didn't want me to know until I tried it so I wouldn't judge her. And Maybelle, it felt awesome. I've never felt better. And she made sure I kept doing it with her because she thought it would keep me from leaving her.” He inhaled slowly. “It didn't work because I started to hate the drug, then I hated her even more for doing this to me. And you know what the worst part is?”

  I stared at him blankly, trying to contemplate how easily I could have gotten into a similar situation myself. I always thought the decision to do drugs was so cut and dry. I didn't realize there were blurred lines of consent. Lye had only fallen into a trap because he was a lost teenager, just like I was.

  “I kept doing it just to feel good again, and it never, ever felt as good as the first time.”

  We were both crying over the gravity of our emotions. I controlled my heat because, for once, it was myself who had to be strong. I placed my hand on his forearm in an attempt to be comforting. I looked down and for the first time, noticed the track marks that were hidden in between the lines of his tattoos. “I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that's like.”

  “I hate myself for it. Whenever I go a day without using, I get muscle spasms and I am so sorry if I've ever snapped at you during my withdrawals. It makes my head the shittiest place to be and I hate it. I just want it to end.”

  I remembered my father telling me how he knew Lye from an overdose. That wasn't when he was off partying with Melanie, it was while he lived here. But it didn't make sense. His dosage was so perfectly measured in the cabinet, how could he have overdosed with such care?

  “Lye?” I looked up at him. I could feel him shaking under my hand. “Did you try to kill yourself a few months ago?”

  He breathed hard. “I couldn't do it anymore. Everyone hated me. The ones who didn't only saw me as a loser drug dealer. No one even cared to know me unless they wanted drugs from me. It was such bad timing that someone found me that night because nothing’s changed now. I'm still just another junkie.”

  “Lye, you know you're more than that. You’ve done so well for yourself. You’re a business owner. Also, Winona was so pure hearted and she loved you.”

  I could see the pain in his eyes. “I spend more on drugs than that shop makes me. And Winona knew me well enough to know I didn't deserve the Reeki as much as my grandfather did. She only kept me around out of pity. She didn't even come see me in the hospital after my overdose. No one did.”

  “But I'm here now. You're the only person who has treated me like a human being, even after I proved that I wasn't. I promise I’m going to do the same to you.”

  He ran his hand through my hair, his physical contact shocking me. “You terrify me, Maybelle. You have gone through so much that I can't even imagine and come out clean. You could have all of hell thrown at you and you can still stand up and dust yourself off.” I stared up at him. “Everyone isn't like that.”

  I was speechless. I had no idea he thought so highly of me. I looked down at my hand, still clenched around his arm. I could feel his pulse beating fast underneath it. His dark eyes were red and his cheeks were shiny from tears. I was so overwhelmed by mixed emotions that I pulled him into me and kissed him hard.

  His breath caught and he pushed me away. I was almost frozen with the realization of what I had just done.

  “No…” He said gently. “You know we can't do th
at.” His eyes were blank and I could tell he was as flustered as I was. I began to heat myself out of embarrassment.

  “I'm sorry, I don't. I don't know what I was thinking.” I tried to redeem myself.

  He regained his composure. “You have got so much going for you Maybelle. I have done so many awful things. I've killed people. Did you know that? I’ve shot and stabbed several people for threatening to out the Glitch.”

  “I burned a man’s face off for just touching me. I'm wanted for arson because my aunt chose my sister over me, so I burned down her greenhouse. Do you know how fast I had to grow up when I got these powers? I don’t even feel like I'm eighteen anymore.”

  He reached behind me and slammed the mirror shut, cracking it. “Do you see this? Look at me. I'll always look like I still belong to the Glitch and you'll always be the rich innocent little suburban girl and I couldn't live with myself if I ruined your life too.”

  I grabbed his shoulder and turned him away from the mirror and towards me. “Innocence was something I haven't had since I was a child. When your own father tells you how much he hates you and wishes that you were dead ‘because no one will care’ at least once a week for years, I promise whatever the worst you could do to me would be an improvement.”

  He seemed startled by my admission. It caused fresh tears to brew in my eyes when I realized I had actually said it aloud for the first time. It took all I had not to catch on fire again. Lye maintained eye contact with me, in his eyes the same expression as mine. He put his hands on my arms as if to hug me, but he seemed to change his mind and instead he pressed me into the wall behind us as if to scold me.

  And suddenly I was reminded that we were in the same position we were when we had first met.

  He stared at me with intensity. “Maybelle, you're barely an adult. You don't even know what you want out of life. And I um...” I felt his breath as he sighed, intensely watching my eyes still as wide as saucers and realizing his grip was still firm on my arms. “You know what? Screw it.”

  And he kissed me.

  His hands moved to my back and retained their grip. He held me as if I was the only thing keeping him afloat. I kissed him back, tears still streaming down my cheeks.

  He broke away for just a moment to lock his eyes with mine to gauge my reaction before wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up to carry me into his room. I couldn't think, I just held his head pressed into mine.

  He threw me on the bed and kissed my neck as he crawled on after me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.

  “Ow”, he complained. I realized my hands had unknowingly burned through his shirt.

  “Sorry” I bit my lip, before kissing him again. At this point, it was a need to be connected to him. If this is what “making out” really was, then no one I'd ever been with had ever done it right. Lye was perfect. My heart was beating out of its chest and I struggled to control myself from burning the house down until it was just us laying in the pile of ash.

  His hand slipped under my shirt and memories of Caleb threatened to break my euphoria. I met it gently and laced it with my own, guiding it back down. He smiled apologetically and kissed my chin down to my shoulder, leaving chills all over me.

  I looked down at him. He was holding himself on top of me, his muscular arms keeping his weight off of me. His tattooed dark skin was such a sharp contrast from my pale clear own, but it meshed together so beautifully. I remembered everything that had happened earlier that led to this. He had always made sure that I knew I was more of a little sister than a romantic interest to him. How much of that was him trying to protect me? How much of it was genuinely his being disinterested in me?

  “Lye?” I paused, sitting up and holding my hand on his cheek. He was breathing heavy and there was a wild look in his eyes that took my breath away. “Will this screw everything up?”

  “I don't want to think tonight. Just come here.” He laid down and pulled me on top of him, his hands gripping my waist forcefully. I happily obliged.

  Chapter 19

  I woke up in a daze. I was still in my jeans from yesterday and I was laying on Lye’s chest with his arm around me. A wave of embarrassment washed over me. He was my best friend and he was in such a vulnerable state last night. I shouldn't have done anything. I ruined everything.

  I stayed still, feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed. He would soon wake up and have a talk with me about how he had been drinking and that he would never have acted like he did sober. He should have never kissed me.

  But the problem was that he did. He kissed me with more feeling than anyone I had ever been with. I had forgotten Tyler even existed. I didn't even realize I had feelings for Lye until I kissed him. I had a schoolgirl crush on him when we first met, but who wouldn't? He's the perfect bad boy that every girl’s father hates. But once I got to know him, it evolved into a friendship that was more mutual than any one I've ever had. Any time I needed him, he was there. Even when I didn't want him to be.

  Sure, he had some bad habits. The heroin thing is a total red flag. But he was still the same Lye I've always known. The same Lye who beat me against a wall, and then saved me from a rapist. The junkie with a heart of gold.

  I felt so at home laying in his arms. I dreaded the thought of going back to normal after the events of last night. I nestled closer into him, savoring my time and praying that he wouldn't wake up.

  He felt me shuffling and opened his eyes. “Good morning,” he said sleepily.

  I became instantly self conscious and I sat up to move away from him. “Good morning.” I repeated.

  “What do you want for breakfast? Want to go get something?” He stared at me blankly, not even acknowledging what had happened.

  “Yeah, let me go straighten up really quick.” I said, inching off the bed awkwardly.

  “Hang on one second.”

  I began to say “What?” But I was cut off by Lye grabbing my hand and pulling me back onto the bed as he leaned in and kissed me gently.

  He pulled away and smiled, leaving me flushed with doe eyes. “Alright, I'm um. I'm going to go get dressed now.” I stammered.

  “Okay.” He laughed.

  I followed him out to his car. He didn't ask me where I wanted to eat, but instead drove to the steakhouse that the town was famous for.

  “Lye, this place is really expensive.” I protested.

  “Don't worry about it.”

  “But they don't even have breakfast food.”

  “It's 12:15.” He smiled. “We can just go to McDonalds if you really want, but I wanted to take you somewhere where we could have a little privacy.”

  Privacy? I'd eaten at the steakhouse before and it seemed like a normal restaurant to me. Besides, why would he even want privacy from a restaurant? “Yeah, I guess that's fine.”

  I felt extremely underdressed, but Lye assured me I was fine. As soon as we entered, the hostess gravitated towards us. “Oh, hello Mr. Adair. The usual place?” She smiled.

  “Yes, thank you.”

  I gave him a strange look, but he put his hand on my back and led me behind the dining tables, following the hostess. There was a hallway with multiple doors that I had never noticed tucked away in the back. She opened one of them. It held a dimly lit room with a single table inside. The decorations on the wall made the room feel a lot bigger than it was.

  The hostess left to grab our drinks. I leaned across the table. “Lye, what are these rooms for?”

  “Mostly business men, either meeting other business men or cheating on their wives, to be honest.”

  “Why do you come here?”

  “Business. I meet with my financial advisor here a lot, plus any other meetings I have. I just don't like people staring at me. The last thing I need is when I'm trying to handle things and someone from my old life comes up and asks to buy drugs. That's not exactly good publicity.” He joked.

  Business meetings? Why would he need a financial advisor? He said it himself that
the tattoo shop doesn't make much money. Maybe there was so much more to him that I didn't know.

  He sat his menu down and made eye contact with me. “How do you feel about last night?”

  I blushed. “I'm honestly not sure. I didn't think, I just acted. I'm sorry if I took advantage of you. It was mostly the alcohol, but you'd had a lot more and I shouldn't have done anything. I'm sorry.”

  “I've tried so hard to stay away from you. But when you kissed me last night, everything came unglued. I didn't want to ever stop.” He admitted.

  “You always talked about how young I am and that I was like a little sister to you. When did that change?” It didn't seem real, after all we’d been through, that he would be interested in me.

  “I never wanted to be with you because I was so afraid you'd find the skeletons in my closet. But now that cat’s out of the bag, I guess.” He joked. “Also, you're a lot younger than anyone I've ever been with. I didn't want to take away your innocence. Even though I realized a while back that you were always on the same level as I was, I still wanted to pretend so that I didn't screw up our friendship by falling for you.” He reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “But we’re both sober now, and if you're okay with everything, then so am I. Are you?”

  I sighed, pulling my hand away. “I'm not sure. Most of the time, you're the perfect guy. I don't even care about your past. I do care that you're still using drugs, and I don't know if I can handle that. Also, you're so mysterious that I’m currently living with you and it still feels like I hardly know you. I feel like every few days you drop a new bombshell that changes everything about how I see you. And that's not okay.” He was listening intently, the look of rejection on his face. “But if you're willing to stop the drugs, and you're willing to actually be open with me about who you are, I would love to be with you.” I said nervously.

  He perked up at the last few words. “Done and done. So, what do you want to eat?”

  I looked at the menu. Even the cheapest lunch item was still $25. I didn't want to make him pay for that, but he still insisted. It was so strange. He drove such an old car and lived in an awful neighborhood, but he has a financial advisor and is a regular at this place? Nothing about him made sense.

 

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