“No, she doesn’t,” Nico says, his words jumping through gritted teeth. “And, if you think you’re trying on anything with my girl, you’ve got another thing coming.”
My girl. I grimace.
Red doesn’t react to his words, just strips off.
We find nothing and let him dress.
“So, you’ll have me?” Red asks. “I can join you?”
Nico does not look happy.
And me? I don’t know how to feel. I just don’t know. This is Red, and yet…yet it isn’t. But I felt it—felt the connection we have so strongly. I betrayed him once, left him behind. I can’t do it again.
“Tie him up,” I say.
Red looks more delighted than he should at that prospect, but he lets us do it. No problem. As soon as he’s secured in the truck bed, I lead Elf and Nico away.
“We need to watch him at all times,” I say, keeping my voice low and trying to concentrate on being rational and logical. Not swayed by the way my heart is lifting. We have to be careful.
“You doubt your best friend in all the world?” Nico’s voice isn’t kind, and I know then that he’s definitely worked it out. He knows Red’s not been Enhanced for long, and the air’s so thick with the electricity between Red and I, that he must’ve been able to feel it. He’ll know I was with Red, and that Red’s the reason I broke up with him.
I look at him, expect more of a reaction. But Nico glares at the sky.
I wipe my sweaty hands against my top and take a deep breath. My heart patters too fast. “We just need to watch him carefully,” I finally say. “See if his actions really do match his words.”
But I saw him at the compound when I was…after Mila died. Red was Enhanced then. Truly Enhanced. How can he be more Untamed now than he was three days ago?
“I still think we should kill him.”
Elf clears his throat. “What if this is bigger than just one Enhanced revolting? It might not even be because he’s newly converted that he’s able to resist enough to escape without help.” He stares at the gun for a moment. “The Enhanced Ones could have factions of people who are breaking away, trying to become Untamed…”
I nod. “We’ve got more of a chance of fighting them if they’re not a strong unit.”
“We need to know as much as we can,” Elf says. “Like why it’s happened now, with him.”
Nico lets out a sudden laugh.
I turn to him.
“It’s obvious why he’s switching sides. Just look at the way he looks at you, Keelie. He obviously adores you. He wants to be Untamed because you are.” Disgust ripples through the air from him.
But his words make me feel strange. Red’s resisting because of me? Because he loves me? I shake my head, don’t know what to think, because part of me is still unsure, still thinking it doesn’t make sense, that it’s a trap. And I try to sort through my thoughts, through the tension in the air, through everything.
“He must have a vehicle somewhere,” I finally say. “He can’t have walked out here. Not this far.” And how the hell did Red find me? Was it a coincidence? I breathe out hard and scan the area. “If he’s lied about that, he could’ve lied about other stuff too. It’s a possibility.”
Nico snorts. “Thought you would’ve been all over him.”
“He’s Enhanced.” I breathe out slowly. At the moment.
“Ah, so that’s your excuse now. Why you’re not jumping on him. You’re waiting until the mirrors fade.”
I feel my temper rising, but I know Nico has every right to be angry, and I force myself not to say anything.
Elf breathes hard. “When he runs lean, he’s going to fight us, regardless of what spiel he spouts now. He’ll be desperate for augmenters then. Question is, can we handle that?”
I swallow hard.
Nico nods. “If this is the start of us reclaiming our people, if they’re all going to resist more strongly, then we have to do it. Regardless of who he is.”
Reclaiming. I take a deep breath. “We should still treat him as a trap—”
“Surprised you’re so against him, Keelie.”
“—because it could be what he wants,” I continue quickly, ignoring the voice in me that’s making me feel guilty for doubting Red. We have to be careful. And I can’t trust him just because I love him—especially when it’s the old Red who I love. Not the Enhanced Red. And I know, despite what I want to believe, that we can’t be sure which he really is now. “He could want us to take him to Nbutai, find out our location, then give it to the Enhanced.”
Elf nods. “But we wouldn’t take him there until we know he’s definitely Untamed again. We’d have to monitor him a lot as well. Never leave him on his own when he’s there. And he could never go on raids or visit the towns.”
“So what do we do now?” Nico kicks at a loose stone.
“Keep looking for Bea and the other Untamed,” I say.
“Brilliant,” Nico mutters. “A road trip with him.”
We head back to the truck and lay some ground rules for Red. He’s to stay tied up all the time—at least until he’s fully Untamed. If he tries anything, we’ll kill him. Nico takes particular delight in telling Red that last bit.
But Red just nods and grins. Then he looks at me, turns his whole body toward me, despite being tied up. “You look hot.”
“Don’t speak to her,” Nico snaps, venom lacing his words.
Red grins even wider.
“Let’s check the rest of these caves, then drive on,” I say. “Elf. You stay with Red. Nico and I will look.”
“So, how long were you seeing him behind my back?” Nico asks the question on our way back to the truck. “And don’t lie, Keelie. I’m not stupid. I’ve worked it out.” His tone is dark, but he somehow says the words lightly—and it’s a contradiction, but that’s how it feels. Dark and light.
But it’s a relief. Because the whole time we were checking the caves for Bea, he didn’t speak to me. There was just darkness, and it was oppressive, squeezing around me, trying to choke me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so uncomfortable.
“It wasn’t long,” I say.
“How long?”
“I met him out on the sands three times before I finished with you.”
“Except you didn’t actually finish with me. A break, you said.” He cracks his knuckles suddenly, and the sound makes me jump. “What did you do in those three times you met?”
I look at him. “Nico, I don’t—”
“I do.” His gaze burns me. “I want to know everything. Every sordid detail.”
“I didn’t have sex with him in those three times,” I say.
But I nearly did. I take a deep breath. If the spirit hadn’t interrupted us and Red hadn’t had to leave, I’m sure we would’ve.
“In those three times. So you did after.” Nico snorts. “Still, how gallant of you not to do it when we were together. So what did you do?”
“Talked.”
“Talked? So you went from talking to fucking as soon as you left me?”
I grip my hands together tightly. They’re clammy. “We kissed a bit too.”
“A bit?”
I don’t answer.
The truck’s in sight now, and I’ve never been so glad. I can see Elf sitting on the tailgate, talking to Red.
Nico kicks a stone, and it bounces away, angrily. “Why didn’t you tell us about him? Another Untamed nearby? You should’ve told Rahn.”
I breathe deeply. “I wanted to keep him to myself,” I lie. I can’t tell him about Red being undercover, in case there are still some left. Nico can’t know, because I’m certain he’ll tell Rahn, and then Rahn will want to look. I’d better make sure Elf doesn’t mention it to Nico.
“You mean you didn’t want me to find out.” He grunts.
“Nico, please. I’m sorry.”
He laughs. Then he looks at me. “Elf knew, didn’t he? Huh. He didn’t even react just now. He knew about him. Who else knew?”
&n
bsp; “No one,” I lie, picturing Bea and Five.
“Well, I bet you’re happy. Got Lover Boy back. You two can cop off now, can’t you?”
I look at the ground. “No. I don’t buy that he’s sincere in wanting to be Untamed, Nico. There’s something off.” And I don’t know whether I’m saying it to make Nico feel better or because I actually believe it first and foremost. I just can’t tell anymore.
He exhales loudly. “Well, at least you don’t sleep with the Enhanced. That’s something.” But his voice lightens, and I detect the relief in his words that he won’t have to watch me and Red together on the voyage.
As if I can be with Red now, after Mila. I ignore the way my body aches at the thought of him.
“I loved you, Keelie,” Nico says in a loud voice so that Elf and Red can hear. And the way he looks at me, I see the hope amid the hurt in his eyes. “I still love you.”
It’s not until evening when I get a chance to talk to Red—to talk to him properly. He’s in the truck bed still, tied up. Nico and Elf are checking the area again for Bea. Nico was reluctant to leave me guarding Red, and he volunteered himself, but there was no way I was leaving the two of them together. That would be asking for trouble.
I pull myself up into the truck bed and look at Red. His whole posture changes upon seeing me. I look at his eyes. The mirrors have faded to half-ghosts. Aside from that, I want to say that he looks better because looking Untamed is better. But he looks ill, unattractive—and I hate that his attractiveness is one of the first things I assess. But his skin has gone a strange shade of gray, tinged with green, and more sweat shines on his forehead. More withdrawal effects.
“So, Red. Time to talk.” I crouch in front of him, but this whole thing feels weird. And ever since my conversation with Nico, I’ve been doubting Red even more, thinking that it has to be a trap. That I’m stupid for believing him. But Elf’s trusting him too, and I trust my brother. I straighten up, focus on Red. “You got caught, converted, Enhanced. How did it happen?”
He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “They found out I’d been in contact with an Untamed woman. That I hadn’t converted her.” He looks from side to side quickly, then shakes his head hard and moans. “They realized I was undercover. Converted me. Couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t stop it… Gods, it hurts, Keelie. My whole body and—”
“And why are you really here?” I ask, looking away from his eyes.
“Because I love you.”
I run a hand through my hair, try not to show any emotion. Not that I’d know what emotion to show to that anyway. Can’t tell if it’s a lie or not. “And how did you find us?”
“I’m a skilled tracker.” He grins a little, but his expression is lopsided, and he’s breathing too hard and too fast. “And I saw your truck when you were traveling, realized you were in it. So I followed—I’ve got to know where you are all the time.” He groans suddenly and goes deathly pale before color flushes across his face. “I can’t lose you. And I needed to see you. K, I know you feel it as well.”
I shake my head. “You’re deluded.” The words come out before I can stop them, and I know I’m building a wall between us to keep me safe. But a wall is what’s needed—until I know for sure. Then I can pull it down, let myself feel all the things I want to feel. “Nico and I are back together,” I lie, hope he doesn’t notice how my words wobble. “There’s nothing real between us.”
Red’s eyes seem to bulge. “So, us making love is nothing? Keelie, I know you felt it. And I know you want me. And when our souls entwined as—”
“Don’t start the clichéd souls crap.” My voice gets a fraction lower. “Just tell me the truth.”
“I have. I want to be with you. And we’re going to be. We’re going to get a house, a nice house. A house with a swimming pool. You like swimming, don’t you? Remember that summer when you and I—”
I shake my head and look around. Still no sign of Elf or Nico. The sky’s starting to darken a little already, but the air shimmers strangely.
Pain flickers around my ankles, so I go from crouching to kneeling. I look at Red carefully, trying not to notice how strong his body looks, how attractive. I tear my gaze from him before I start salivating over his tattoos.
“It will be great to have the whole family together again,” Red says. “You, me, and your parents. Or rather what’s left of the whole family. But, we can have them all over for dinner, and Owen’s going to get me a better job. One that pays even better, and we’ll have the new house too.” He frowns. “Did I say that already? I can’t remember. Gods, I can’t remember. My head.”
What’s left of the whole family….
I stare at him. He whacks his head against the back of the truck’s cab four times. Then he laughs and flicks his head around, eyes darting everywhere. A sudden intensity fills his gaze.
“I love you, Keelie… Love you! We have to be together. We just have to go.”
“Go?” I prompt.
“Back to civilization…where your parents are. Being together will make everything all right. And I just… I want you… I want us to be together and for you to be happy. And we can be with your parents.” Sweat trickles down his nose.
I flinch. “Be together there? At an Enhanced town or city?” I lean back, alarm bells going off in my head. “Well haven’t you changed your tune quickly?” I shake my head, let out a bitter laugh. And I don’t know whether to feel disappointed or not.
I look into his eyes. Eyes are the route to the soul, and his are becoming unguarded. There’s something in me that makes me think that if I look into his eyes—now that they’re becoming Untamed—I’ll see the truth. But all I see is a sort of twitchiness. Anxiety? Because he’s running lean? Or because he’s just revealed his plan?
And he has. I know he has. The wall I started to build grows in an instant.
Red coughs, and the action wrecks across his whole body. “I’m trying to prove myself…prove myself to you, Keelie. Show how much you mean to me, show you how…and I know you want to see your parents. I know how much they mean to you. We can live together safely, there, with the Chosen Ones.”
“So you did lie.” I stand up, jerk my hand back. “You lied saying you wanted to join us.”
Of course he did. I shake my head. This is a trap. He doesn’t want to discard his new identity—he just wants me. And he’s playing a game, a dangerous game, and we’re all caught up in it. A game to the death.
You’re not getting out alive.
Yet I don’t move away—and I know I should, but I don’t.
Red clasps his hands together—the ropes let him do that, and then he’s scratching the back of his left hand hard, leaving angry red marks behind. For a second, he stares at them.
“It…it hurts… I need Calmness…get me some Calmness, K…” And he smiles—the Enhanced part of him fighting back, trying to minimize the pain he’s feeling. “You don’t understand… We have to be together. It’s the only way. Look, I’m doing this for you—running lean, and it’s horrible, the pain, because I need you. I’m showing you how much you mean to me.”
His eyes flash as the mirrors dim even further, as if a layer of metallic color has been peeled away in that instant, and his gray eyes become more obvious.
“I need to be with you. Us, together, against the world. You and me—we can be together. I love you, Keelie. Love you so much. You have to come back with me. And I can take you to your parents, and we can all be happy. And…and I won’t convert you! I’d respect your wishes! But we can live there, and I’d—I’d hide you, keep you Untamed.”
“That’s a load of shit.” I shake my head. “You want to convert me. You’re one of them, Red. And I’m not. We’re enemies. We can’t be together,” I yell, my voice savage. “Just look at you—shaking, sweating, feverish. That’s what they’ve done to you, and you can’t see it because they’ve got you. You’re addicted, and your only purpose now is to convert.”
I hold his gaze for a lon
g, heavy moment in which the world around us seems to get darker.
“You want to see your parents,” Red reasons. “I want to go to them. We want the same thing. I’ll take you there.”
I throw my hands in the air. “No.”
I start to turn away, don’t even know why I’m still talking to him. We were stupid to let him be with us—it was obviously lies when he said he wanted to join us. No Enhanced One wants to be wild. Not after they’ve tasted the ‘perfect’ way of life. And he’s shown his true colors now.
You should get rid of him, Keelie. You like killing Enhanced.
I gulp. Kill him? Kill Red?
But I know it’s the thing to do. He’s Enhanced—we’re keeping an Enhanced hostage, alive. If he gets out of his bindings, he’ll go for us. He’s too much of a risk.
They deserve to die. Each and every one of them.
But, if we can save them, we should. And I know it’s just the addiction, the withdrawal, that’s making him like this. And he’s not been Enhanced for long.
Then I let out a frustrated cry. Why am I still trying to reason with myself?
No one is ever the same after an augmenter.
Red coughs. “Keelie—there’s still part of me in here, the part that you know. You can find it again. We can still—”
“You’re lying, Red. You’re desperate, and you’re lying.” I look away, into the distance, hoping to see Elf and Nico returning. We need to set off again. Bea’s not here. And I knew that when we arrived, part of me knew, felt it.
And part of me is being called forward.
We need to keep going, need to find her. She can’t have much food left now, if any. Unless she’s hunting? Maybe Elf and Nico will find evidence.
“Am I lying?” Red’s voice sounds so…so lost. He sounds lost. Different.
I crouch back down and look at him, feel something in my chest tear.
“Yes. You are.” My voice is dark, irritable.
His brow furrows a little. “So, what—you’re…you’re going to kill me then?” His breathing gets faster. “Because even you won’t do that—you won’t kill me when you love me. And I know you do, K. Don’t deny it. Please… Okay, I’ll become Untamed. I have to be with you.”
A Dangerous Game Page 25