by Amie Denman
There was something she had to do first.
She parked in front of Charlie’s house, rang his doorbell and waited. He didn’t answer right away, but his car was in the driveway, and she wasn’t leaving until she’d said what she had to say. After the second ring, Charlie opened the door. His hair was wet, and he was wearing a dress shirt and pants. Handsome as ever, he appeared unscathed by his harrowing escape. She wanted to reach out and hold him tight.
“I’m sorry,” Jane said. “Are you going out?” She pointed to his button-down shirt and the necktie wrapped loosely around one hand. He went home from a terrifying fire scene, showered, and had plans to go somewhere? Maybe she was making a mistake.
“I was,” he said, his tone serious. His eyes lingered on her face as if he wanted to memorize her.
“Oh,” Jane said. “I could...come back another time.”
“Come in,” Charlie said. “Please.”
“I only stopped by to tell you something.”
“You don’t need an excuse. You’ve been here dozens of times, and I was happy to see you every single time.” He put an arm around her shoulders and drew her inside. “Sit,” he said, pulling her next to him on his couch and keeping her hand in his.
“Today was horrible,” she said, her voice shaking. “I was terrified just watching and waiting outside that building, and I can’t imagine how you must have felt being trapped in there.”
Charlie dropped his tie, wrapped both his hands around hers and rubbed them gently. “I’m sure it was worse for you. I wasn’t trapped, just disoriented. I kept my mind on two things so I wouldn’t panic.”
“Two things?”
“Well, actually three. I was desperate to find my partner. Losing your partner is one of the worst things that can happen in the fire service. And I thought about you. I pictured your face and wondered what our son or daughter would look like. Just thinking about it kept me calm—and hopeful.”
“The fire was awful.”
“It was, but it could have been so much worse. Kevin’s a little injured, but he’s okay. And I’m here with you.” He put a cautious hand on her belly, where a gentle swell protruded. He spread his fingers and held them still. He waited, silent and smiling.
But hadn’t he planned to go somewhere?
“I’m used to the feeling of being lost,” he said. “You know as well as anyone that I’ve often taken the long way and sometimes the wrong way. But today was different. I knew I had someone to come home to.”
Jane sniffed and her throat was thick. “While we were waiting outside, a million things went through my head,” Jane said. “You’ve been part of my life for so long, and I should admit to you that I’ve been half in love with you for years.” Her words spilled as quickly as her tears. “And now you’re the father of my baby—”
“Jane,” Charlie interrupted. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.
“I have to say what I came over here to say,” Jane continued. “I thought I would pass out from fear this afternoon. I couldn’t imagine what I would do without you.”
He touched her cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“I regretted that I’d said no to your proposal. I had thought it wasn’t enough that you cared for me and would provide for me and the baby. I thought that my love for you wasn’t enough unless I was sure it was equally matched. But I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” he whispered.
“I love you enough to make it work. For you, for me, for our son or daughter.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying yes, if you still want to be my husband.”
Charlie stood up and paced to the window. He kept his back to Jane and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. She couldn’t retract what she’d said. She didn’t want to. She’d said what was in her heart, and if it wasn’t the right thing, there was nothing she could do about it.
“Do you remember that I told you I had to go out of town to help my dad with something?”
“Yes,” Jane whispered. He still hadn’t turned around. Had he changed his mind about marrying her?
“I was seeing my father, the man I thought was a rock. I thought he had his act together more than any human I’ve ever known.”
“Did something happen to him?” In all the emotion of the day, Jane had forgotten Charlie’s sudden trip.
Charlie turned around and the expression on his face shocked her. She’d expected anguish, despair, worry. Instead, there was wide-eyed joy on Charlie’s face. His expression danced with happiness.
“Something happened.” He laughed. “Boy, did it happen. My dad and I had an honest conversation for the first time in over a decade.” Charlie sat down again next to Jane, put one arm around her shoulders again and put his hand on her thigh. His smile faded. “When my mother died of cancer, I was twelve and on the verge of falling apart every single day,” he said slowly, enunciating every word. “Seventh grade must be the worst time in any human’s life, and it was especially bad for me.”
“I’m so sorry,” Jane said. She had known he’d lost his mother as a child and grew up with a bachelor father, but he’d always talked about his dad as if he were a hero. What had happened?
“My father was perfect. He played his role as single dad as if he’d trained for it. The man could cook mac and cheese and help me with my homework at the same time. He even took down all the curtains twice a year and washed them, made a collage of pictures to display at my high school graduation party and helped me write the essay I needed to get a scholarship for the fire academy.”
“He sounds like an amazing man,” Jane said. She hoped that if she needed to be a single parent, she would be able to pull it off. Where was Charlie going with this story? Would he accept her answer, or was it too late?
“My father was strong, supportive, stoic. I held on to him as if he were a life ring and I was drowning.”
“It had to be hard for him,” Jane commented. She leaned into Charlie as he held her. He smelled of soap and shaving cream.
“Because I was a self-absorbed seventh grader, I didn’t think much about what he was going through. I just thought that was how men behaved. They took care of people they loved, offered support, asked for nothing in return.”
A feeling of hope began spreading warmth throughout Jane as she listened. She’d talked to Charlie so many times over the years, but she’d never seen him like this. Raw honesty and emotion, but not sorrow. Whatever had happened to his father wasn’t a tragedy...it was a revelation.
“So when I got a phone call from my dad that he needed my help, it... I don’t know how to explain it. It made me think.”
“What did he need?”
Charlie laughed. “You’re not going to believe it. My perfect dad, Mr. Do the Right Thing, had gotten himself into a scrape. He went to Atlantic City on a gambling trip with some of his friends. I think they must have had more fun than they’d planned because they all blew through their cash. They could have made it home on credit cards, but my dad somehow lost his car keys.”
Jane smiled. “I’m guessing he was the driver?”
“He was,” Charlie said, nodding. “So I had to go to his house about an hour north of here, get his extra set of keys, drive all the way to Atlantic City and help get him and his friends home. I even had to spring for breakfast at the waffle house. Those guys ate as if they’d been up all night. Probably were.”
“Were you angry with your dad?”
“At first,” he acknowledged. “Not because he called and asked for a favor. I’d do anything for him. I just couldn’t believe he could be so irresponsible. This is the man who always had dinner on the table, made sure my school clothes fit, made the house payment on time and taught me how to do everything from changing light bulbs to changing tires. How could he screw up so bad?”
“Everyone screws
up.”
“Yes, they do. Even people you think are perfect. His friends drove my dad’s car, and he and I took my car. We talked about a lot of things on the way home from Atlantic City, but he opened up about his fear and loneliness being a single dad. He told me he only had one regret as a father, and that was that he never told me growing up how much he loved me. He said he’d tried to say the words, but he was afraid he would break down if he let too much emotion get in the way.”
Charlie grabbed a tissue from the table next to the couch and handed it to Jane. Instead of drying her own tears, she dabbed at the one that had slid down his cheek as he talked about his father’s love.
He swallowed. “I got home really late last night, and I almost came knocking on your door to tell you that I’d finally figured something out,” he said.
“Will you tell me now?”
“See these clothes? I was on my way to your house just now to repeat my marriage proposal, but this time I was planning to do it right. I wanted to lead with what was in my heart.”
Jane put her arms around Charlie and drew close to him. “What were you going to say?”
“I love you,” he whispered, his lips brushing her neck. “Will you marry me if I promise to change diapers, light bulbs and tires but still remember to tell you and the baby every day how much I love you?”
“Yes,” she said, pulling back so she could see his face. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
He spread his fingers over her belly again. “Can we do it soon?” he asked. “I’d like to practice being your husband for a few months before the rest of the family arrives.”
“Very soon,” she agreed, and then she kissed him and held him tight.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“ARE YOU READY for tough love or is it too soon for that?” Jane asked.
Nicole arranged some newly framed prints in a display by the front window. The August sun was bright, and many tourists were already on the streets.
“Too soon,” she said.
“That’s too bad.” Jane sipped her tea. “Because I was all ready to let you have it. I was going to say things like you can’t run scared all your life. You can’t let your past steal your future. Loving someone means taking a risk. You can choose a nice, safe insurance salesman to love but there’s always a chance he’ll get bit by a poisonous spider and die of an ugly, festering wound. Stuff like that.”
Nicole thinned her lips into a line and glared at her friend. “That’s mean.”
“I said I was going to say those things. If you weren’t so delicate.”
“Thanks.”
“I also considered adding a few barbs about how indecent it is to leave a guy when he’s down. Especially a guy as delicious as Kevin who’s worshipped you since you came to town four months ago.”
Nicole sat cross-legged on the carpet by the large, sunny window. “The bad thing about having such a good friend is that you know where all my buttons are. But you’re not supposed to push them.”
“Does Kevin know where they are?”
Nicole glanced at one of her photographs on an easel. It was a picture of the sunset, taken from the boat when she was photographing the marina. Had she been living in total denial? Going out with Kevin on that boat. Going along with his adorable nieces to the theme park. Eating ice cream by the ocean. Having her heart nearly wrenched from her body when she thought he died in that burning building...
“I can’t do this,” she said. “I told Kevin I needed space when I left him a few nights ago.”
“And?”
“Aside from five voicemails and those flowers—” she gestured to a vase full of yellow sunflowers on the gallery counter “—he’s given me a ton of personal space.”
Jane laughed. “He told you he wouldn’t let you go without a fight.”
“I don’t feel like fighting.”
“So surrender.”
Nicole sighed. “I can’t. You have no idea what it felt like thinking someone I’d just realized I loved was dying in that fire.”
Jane raised her eyebrows. “You don’t think so?”
“Sorry. Of course you do.” Nicole squeezed Jane’s shoulder when her friend knelt down beside her. “It was like losing Adam all over again,” Nicole said softly.
“But you didn’t lose Kevin.”
Nicole didn’t answer. She concentrated on the pattern of the sun on the blue carpet.
“So what are you planning to do?” Jane asked. “You’re going to have to see Kevin at my wedding in a few weeks, and probably even talk to him.” Jane paused and grinned. “There could be dancing. I think you should be prepared.”
“I’m not making any decisions right now. I’m helping you with Homecoming and the rest of tourist season since you’re going to be very busy with your baby and your handsome new husband.”
“And then?”
Nicole shrugged. “Maybe I’ll go home. Laura could use a friend right now. I’m worried about her. And maybe I could hit the bars with her and start looking for a nice insurance salesman who is impervious to spider bites.”
“You could stay here,” Jane suggested. “You’d be the best aunt ever.”
Just as she said it, a fire truck roared by, lights flashing and sirens rattling the front windows.
Nicole raised her eyebrows and looked at her friend.
“There’s a fire department in every town. You can’t run from this forever.”
“But there’s not a Kevin in every town. I can’t stay here and wonder if he’ll be around every corner I turn.”
Jane sat next to her on the floor by the window. Both of them petite, they fit between the easels.
“I’ll miss you, Nikki. How will I run this gallery without you?”
Nicole smiled. “How did you run it the two years before you took me in? I know you didn’t really need my help.”
“Yes, I did,” Jane protested. “You’ve been a lifesaver, and I love having you around.”
“I don’t know about staying, going, anything...”
Nicole watched an ambulance fly past, following the fire truck. An image of Kevin injured or dead rushed through her mind and she felt cold all over. I couldn’t live with this fear every day. She had no choice but to make a permanent break and leave town.
Jane watched the ambulance until it disappeared in traffic down the street. She rubbed Nicole’s shoulder. “Love sucks,” she said.
Nicole’s cell phone chirped and she glanced at the text. It was from Kevin.
Want to have dinner? Comes with dessert.
Jane read over her shoulder. “He’s adorable. I wonder what’s for dessert.”
“I’m not planning to find out.”
“Can I point out that Kevin was not in that fire truck, and that the ambulance had nothing to do with him since he’s texting you right now?” Jane said. “While I’m at it, I’ll also say he’s been a firefighter for six years and he’s still walking around.”
Nicole huffed out a sigh.
“Just saying,” Jane said.
* * *
THE ONLY THING keeping Kevin sane as he endured daily silence from Nicole was the fact that he was outrageously busy. Charlie had a priority painting job he wanted done so he could make a quick turnaround on a house before his upcoming wedding. Chief wanted the station spiffed up for the fire department’s centennial party coinciding with the Cape Pursuit Homecoming Festival. And, now that his ribs and foot were back in firefighting shape, he was working his full-time job again.
He still found time to think of Nicole. Constantly. He thought about her as he and his colleagues muddled through the one hundredth birthday party planning. He thought of how much she might like the house he was currently painting and wondered if she planned to stay in Cape Pursuit. He’d asked Charlie if he’d managed to sell a house to Nicole, b
ut Charlie said she’d put him on hold for now.
She’d put Kevin on hold, too. When she said she needed space, how long did she mean?
Kevin thought of her as he prepped the fire station for the party and wondered if she’d say yes if he asked her to be his date. He thought of her every time he left the station in the fire truck, realizing for the first time that his life was not entirely his own. Someone else—aside from his family—cared that he came home alive.
Or did she? She hadn’t returned his calls in a week. She had mailed him a thank-you note for the flowers. Mailed.
Maybe he shouldn’t have told her he loved her, but it was the truth. And he had to believe she felt the same way or she wouldn’t be shoving him away with both hands.
He thought of her every time he drove past the gallery, saw a little red car, noticed someone with a camera.
He had high hopes for the Homecoming Festival. There would be street vendors selling food and merchandise. Games. A parade. All the things that made living in a small town fun. He’d seen Jane’s name on the list of vendors on the fire inspector’s desk. All temporary vendor tents had to be approved and equipped with a clearly marked exit and a fire extinguisher.
Perhaps he should sign up to inspect the tents. Every day. Especially the one selling paintings and photographs of local landmarks.
“Looking for volunteers,” the chief announced, his voice echoing in the station. Kevin was on a ladder cleaning overhead ductwork as part of the preparation for the party.
“For what?”
“Homecoming parade. Need a driver and a candy thrower for each of the trucks. Also need someone to walk alongside and hand out smoke detectors to people on the parade route.”
Kevin glanced down at his uncle. “We’ve never done that before, have we?”
“Nope. But it’s our way of celebrating a hundred years of serving the community. And we’re getting a head start on fire safety week.”
“I see.”
“Also need guys who don’t have families—or dates—to volunteer to be on duty the night of the party.”