by Lexi Post
“Jessica.”
She phased, ignoring the entreaty in his voice and floated to her home on the Maine inlet. When she entered, she immediately solidified and went straight to the freezer. She pulled out the ice cream and a spoon and went outside, hoping Duncan wouldn’t follow her. She just needed some time to think.
Scooping out a heaping spoonful, she stuffed it in her mouth. At the sweet taste of cherries, she glanced at the carton. It wasn’t pistachio. Sheesh, she couldn’t even grab the right ice cream. Not about to get out of the comfortable rocking chair, she shrugged and took another bite. Cherry vanilla was pretty good too. It was no replacement for Duncan Montgomerie’s kiss, but it would have to do.
She stabbed the spoon in again. What had she been thinking in the stairway? The man was focused on only one thing when it came to women. Sure, she’d seen other sides to him, but what kind of man boasted of sleeping with two hundred women?
She stilled. Had those all been when he was alive? If that were the case, he had to have slept with…if he was thirty-six and didn’t start having sex until he was sixteen, that would be ten a year!
She spooned out another heaping teaspoon of ice cream and stuffed it in her mouth. But what if those women included ones he’d had sex with in the afterlife? On one hand, that would be better as that would bring the count down to less than one a year. But on the other hand, if he was as promiscuous in the afterlife, that meant she could run into one of his former sex partners. She didn’t like that scenario at all.
Why not? Why should she care if he slept around? It wasn’t like she wanted to have sex with him. Liar. Okay, she was attracted to him and from the episode on the stairs, he could turn her on in a heartbeat. Shit, she’d known he would be a distraction. She should be focusing on Holly, not herself.
Even at that thought, the memory of Duncan’s concern over her and Holly’s entwined lives had her heart softening. She wanted to believe he cared about her enough to protect her, but she didn’t even know from what. What threat could there be in the afterlife?
It was so complicated, which made sense as she was new to it all. Then again, how new was she? It sounded like she’d been here for at least five years or more. So why didn’t she know more? The fact that Duncan, who’d been in the afterlife over two hundred years, was not only baffled by her and Holly’s entwined lives, but concerned, made her nervous. Did that mean there were worse things than death? A shiver ran through her body that had nothing to do with the ice cream in her hands.
She took another bite, crunching down on a whole maraschino cherry. Its sweetness was heavenly, but she could only taste it when solid. Why was there this dual existence? She wasn’t a ghost, unwilling to leave the living, yet she wasn’t all spirit, at least she didn’t feel like it. Was there another realm or was the list of jobs she’d seen all there was to eternity?
No matter how the afterlife was configured, she still needed Duncan to get through this assignment. He knew more than she did, even if he didn’t know why Cameron was testing her. Then again, he didn’t appear to know what had happened to him on the roof. The image of Duncan’s faraway stare floated across her mind. Her stomach knotted. That wasn’t right either. It was as if he’d left his body. She hadn’t seen anyone else like that and he’d definitely been surprised, maybe even a little fearful. And since when did spirits get headaches?
She scraped the bottom of the ice cream container. Good thing she only kept the two pint containers. If left to her own devices, she’d probably finish a whole gallon and wonder if there was more.
Feeling a little better now that she’d had her favorite food and time to mull over her current existence, she should return to Duncan and continue Holly’s journey. At least he might be able to answer some of her questions. He was her mentor after all. She just needed to remember that was all he was and not get sidetracked by Mr. Distraction.
She finally rose and walked into her kitchen to throw out the container and leave the spoon in the sink. When she turned around, she jumped.
Duncan stood in her kitchen. “I apologize. I dinna mean to startle you.”
Jessica put her hand to her heart. He’d scared the life out of her. Uh, except she didn’t have any in her. “You really need to learn to knock.”
She tried to go around him, but he grabbed her arm. “Jessica. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I imagine I need to get used to it.”
He looked away for a moment before meeting her gaze. “No, I mean about what I said. I doubt I have been with that many women. I did no’ actually count. I promise you I did no’ play with their affections if that concerns you. I was always very forthright that I could no’ love them. It’s just no’ in me. They understood it was just for enjoyment.”
She pulled away, her chest tightening to hear him say he could not love. It was too sad to contemplate. She didn’t want to think about him anymore. She’d never expected him to be Mr. Distraction in an emotional way as well.
Determined to keep their relationship as professional as possible, she shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business.” She walked into the living room. “Besides, we’ve had a long break and probably should get back to Holly.”
“No’ yet.” He came in and motioned for her to take a seat.
Maybe this would be another lesson in what not to do. This time she’d listen. It bothered her she’d missed so much of what he said in training because she was too busy daydreaming about getting him into bed. What a waste of time that had been. It was the last place she wanted him now.
He strode to her couch and sat. Though he smiled, it was one of those he used for just for show. “Tell me about Mrs. Connors.”
She stiffened. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Why?”
She pushed her glasses up her nose as she gathered her thoughts. Mrs. Connors had been one of her failures, firmly categorized in that column. She spent her entire career trying to make the successes double that of her failures. But what if some of her failures had been successes? Had she wasted her own life to help others who didn’t need help?
Or worse yet, what if her successes ended up failures and she never knew. Her whole reason for living was in doubt. Not an easy thing to explain to a man who skated along the top of life, enjoying what it offered and not worrying about others’ lives. She didn’t blame him necessarily. After all, he was helping people now. She’d seen his compassion toward Holly. Was that why he was a mentor, to make up for what he didn’t do in life? If so, then why was she accepted as a Spirit Guide? Was it a reward or something else?
“Lass, what is it?”
She refocused on him and found his brow lowered in worry. His obvious concern loosened her throat. “It’s everything. It’s this place, your castle, the phasing abilities, the helping Holly. I’m just confused. And uncertain, which I’m not used to being. I always knew what to do, or I thought I did. Now I’m discovering I didn’t know the half of it.”
He didn’t smile or tease her, which made it clear he was seriously listening, but it also added to her worries.
“My gut says there is something more to this than simply helping Holly.” He paused, but then clearly had made a decision. “If there is one more incident with a connection between you two, I’m going to Cameron to demand some answers.”
Usually she was happy to fight her own battles, after all, she always had. Whether it was getting her boss to let her go one step further with a case, needling someone into helping a client, or persisting to a judge that a child would be better off back with its parent, she’d always fought for what was right. But the afterlife was different, and she didn’t know her way around it yet. Having Duncan promising to look out for her did make her feel better. He may be a happy guy, but he had a lot more experience than she did.
“Thank you. I would appreciate that. I know we’re supposed to be helping Holly dispel some of her sorrow, but these connections are really messing with my head.”
“Messing
with your head?”
She grinned. “Sorry, it’s a silly expression. It means it’s driving me crazy. No, I mean—”
Duncan raised his hand and his smile was back. “I understand. I’ve had students who explained what driving one crazy means.”
“Is it hard keeping up with the phrases and technology and clothing and just everything?”
“Aye, it would give me a headache if I could get them.”
“But you said you just had one.” Had he lied to her?
He grimaced. “I am no’ sure what that was.” He winked. “Guess I’ll just have to ask Cameron about that as well next time I see him.”
He pretended to shrug off what happened to him, but she recognized his almost-smiles now. He was concerned. Good, she’d seen the glaze in his eyes and he did need to take his “headache” seriously. If they were alive, she’d tell him to see a doctor. Who did you see about anomalies in the afterlife?
Duncan stood, phasing even before he’d risen to his full height. “Ready?”
She couldn’t do that yet, two things at once, so she phased then stood. “Yes. Let’s go make Holly happy.”
He grinned and took her hand.
As they flew through time and space together, her need to be perfect at her new job on the first try lessened. If she was, then she’d be doing this by herself and she wouldn’t see Duncan much, or could she? Why would she? If being a Spirit Guide was anything like being a social worker, she wouldn’t have time.
But there was no time in the afterlife. Did that mean she could do everything? That excited and frightened her at the same time. She’d better stick to focusing on her client and grapple with the other possibilities later. She’d already spent far too much of her energy on Duncan and herself. Her job was to help Holly.
“…for smaller businesses which was my happy place.” Holly pointed to a jar of jellybeans on the coffee table. “Even then I worked part time for a Jelly Bean Gift Shop. I think my mom was more excited about me working there than I was. She loved jelly beans, especially tart ones. I was more into the tropical flavors. I always wanted to go to a Caribbean island, but the year I went with friends to the Bahamas for spring break during college cured me of that fantasy.”
Duncan let go of Jessica’s hand when she released his, but he didn’t want to. He liked having her with him and no’ just because she was beautiful. He liked her company.
Jessica, smart woman that she was, jumped into the conversation as if they’d never left. “Why did that cure you of wanting to go to an island?”
Holly shook her head. “Ugh, it was nothing but a drink fest. Everyone was drinking, ‘hooking up,’ and getting sick. I still can’t think of a beach without getting queasy.”
“You drank that much?”
“No.” Holly’s eyes widened. “Not me. But you can only see so much vomit before you start feeling sick yourself. I actually took a taxi to the airport eight hours before our flight was to leave just to get away from the scene.”
Jessica stared at Holly. “That makes sense. I wouldn’t have pegged you for a party girl. Guess us boring types need to stick together.” She winked.
“Do you think we would have been friends if we met again later after I was an adult?” Holly looked at Jessica with curiosity.
“Definitely. I would have liked you right away, just like I did when I met you tonight.”
“That’s right.” Holly looked at him. “It’s still Christmas Eve, right?”
“Yes it is, and we have more to show you. Would you like to go to the next stop?”
Holly looked back at her younger self conversing with her favorite teacher. She sighed. “Yes, I’m ready.”
Duncan held out his hand and she grasped it, then he took Jessica’s in his other, no’ questioning why he didn’t put Holly between them. He floated them out of the cottage and to the next Christmas Eve in Holly’s life.
He hoped she was ready for it. They hadn’t given her a lot of time to ponder some of the happy points in her life, something he usually did. His interest in Jessica had thrown off his usual routine. Maybe that’s why Cameron didn’t assign him women very often. Smart man.
After the next stop, he’d bring Holly outside and have a conversation about her experience so far. Or better yet, he’d let Jessica have that conversation. It was obvious the two women had bonded. As long as their connection wasn’t too strong, there was no need to worry about it and every reason it could help.
He floated them over snow-covered mountains and into a small village sandwiched between them.
As they drew closer, Holly pointed with her free hand. “Who are they?”
He looked to where she pointed and glanced at Jessica, who shrugged. Didn’t the woman remember anything from his training? He shook his head before addressing Holly. “Those are ghosts. You can tell by how faded they are and the way they never stop moving.”
Both women grasped his hands tighter as he brought them to hover over what appeared to be an old woman in a short cape and scarf floating down the road. She turned into a small house and at the same time, from within that house, a young female ghost slipped out the back and headed for the wooded property surrounding it.
“Can they see us?” Holly looked at him, her gaze nervous.
“No’ usually. They are on a different plane. Once in a while a recent ghost will still be able to see us, but since they are tied to the living, after years go by, they can’t anymore.”
Jessica watched the young woman ghost, her eyes concerned. “Their clothing must be centuries old.”
He shrugged. “I think that is late 1800s dress, but I am no’ sure. I am no expert on women’s clothes.” Though he was very good at getting women out of them.
Jessica frowned at him as if she’d read his thoughts and he winked.
When she snapped her head back toward the forest, he chuckled and squeezed Holly’s hand. “I dinna think Jessica believes me.”
Holly grinned. “I wonder why?”
He laughed as he directed them back above the rooftops.
Holly tugged on his hand. “Wait a minute. How come I could see you in my house, but the Tinders and Mrs. Connors couldn’t see us?”
“Very perceptive. Jessica, did you wish to answer this?”
Jessica shook her head. “You’re the expert.”
Doubt about how much Jessica had actually learned in his training grew and it concerned him, but he pasted on a smile for Holly. “The reason is because when Cameron came to you, he enabled you to see spirits. But dinna worry, after midnight tonight, you won’t be able to see them anymore.
“Even Cameron?” Holly’s sudden tension tugged at his heart.
“That’s up to Cameron. He can let you see spirits whenever he chooses, but just remember, if you can see spirits, you can see ghosts and no’ all of them are as mundane as the two we just came across.”
“As long as I can see Cam, I don’t care.”
He swore she would have crossed her arms if he wasn’t holding her hand. The lass didn’t know what she truly wished for. The living never did.
A distant memory knocked at the back of his head. A wish. While he lived. He had wished for something. But as he tried to focus on it, it skittered away like a frightened wee mousie. No’ that it mattered. He was no’ living anymore. He looked over Holly’s head at Jessica. No he wasn’t and he was perfectly happy where he was.
Floating over the town, he finally brought them down into the second floor of an old Victorian house that had been converted into four small apartments. He stopped in the living room, fully decorated for Christmas. The lass had obviously always loved Christmas.
Holly gasped. “Oh, this was my place in Littleton.” She floated around the empty room and hovered next to the tree. “I still have this ornament. My mother bought it for me for my eighteenth birthday. And this one I got from Grandma Tinder. Now it has a crack in it. When we got Mac, or rather when he adopted us, he batted it off the tree and broke it. I glu
ed it together.”
Duncan glanced at Jessica. She had a warm smile on her face. At least the apartment wasn’t familiar.
The sound of footsteps coming toward the living room had them all holding their breath.
“We have plenty of nuts, Holly. I’ll just grab them from the hor d'oeuvres tray in the living room.” Cameron Douglas entered the room, heading for a round plastic tray set out on a coffee table.
Holly gasped, her gaze glued to the young Cameron.
“Don’t you dare.” The younger Holly strode into the room and swatted Cameron’s hand. “Those are for the guests.”
“Ow.” He grabbed his hand and held it to his chest. “But the cookies are for the guests too and you said you needed more peanuts.”
Young Holly crossed her arms, oblivious to the food stains on her full-length apron. “I would have had enough nuts if someone hadn’t been eating them behind my back all week.”
Cameron grinned and scooped her into his embrace. “Holly love, I needed the protein. You’ve been wearing me out. I didn’t think a little midnight snack would upset your holiday plans.”
She smiled. “That is so not fair, Cam.”
“I know.” He winked before he lowered his head and gave her a sweet kiss.
Duncan looked over at Holly. She had tears in her eyes. He certainly hoped Cameron knew what he was doing here.
When the kiss ended, young Holly batted at Cameron’s shoulder. “As much as I’d like to spend the evening kissing you, we have company coming. So why don’t you bring that tray into the kitchen and find something to replace the peanuts with.”
“Aye, hen, if you insist.” Cameron let her go, but as she turned, he swatted her ass and she spun back on him and frowned.
“Watch your hands, young man.”
He just grinned at her until her lips twitched and she shook her head. Without another word, she sashayed out of the room.
Cameron’s gaze was wolfish until she was out of sight, then it changed. His hand found his chest and the love in his eyes was so strong Duncan looked away.
Holly started to cry in earnest and Jessica flew to her side, wrapping her in her arms.