I took my jeans off and crawled into bed with her, pulling her warm body against mine. I kissed her softly as I laid my hand on her belly thinking about the little life inside her that was half of me. A maelstrom of overwhelming emotions welled up inside me, love and excitement and joy.
"I love you, Natalie," I whispered in a shaking voice. I lifted my head to look at her face. She was smiling and relaxed. It was the calmest I had seen her in well over a week. It was good to see.
"I love you, David." Her eyes misted over as she caressed my cheek softly. "Will you make love to me?"
"I don't want to hurt you again." I grimaced as the guilt from causing her pain earlier today sparked to life inside me again.
"You didn't hurt me," she said in a defeated tone. "I was crying because I was too afraid to tell you the truth yet. I...I lied to you all day today." She looked away in shame as more tears glistened in her eyes. "I'm so sorry."
"Shh, sweetheart," I reassured her as I caressed her face. "That doesn't matter now." I leaned down and brushed my lips across hers. "It's already been forgotten."
I kissed her again, long and passionately despite the pain from my cut. I didn't know I could feel like this way about anyone. A life we had created together was growing inside her, and it made me feel closer to her than I had ever felt before. It made my body ache for hers, to feel connected to her.
"I need you," I whispered desperately as I rolled on top of her, nudging her legs apart with my knee and settling between her soft thighs. She ran her fingers through my hair as I reached down to find her wet for me. With a low groan, I gripped my already erect cock and rubbed the head through her soft folds, before slowly pushing into her. She let out a long sigh as I slid into her body, the warm tightness of her enveloping me. I gasped at the sensations. It felt so good, so right.
I thrust in and out of her in easy unhurried strokes, building the fire between us slowly and surely. I watched her face as I moved inside her. She was so beautiful as her eyes met mine, soft and unfocused with her pleasure. I kissed her again, my tongue tangling with hers as her first climax hit her. I swallowed down her low moans as her back arched and her eyes squeezed shut.
Physical and emotional pleasure flowed through me, filled me, until I couldn't contain it. "Natalie, I love you so much," I moaned out as my release hit me hard, my body starting to shudder and convulse above her. I felt her climax again as I came inside her, the pleasure surging up through me and exploding outward.
I slumped down on the bed next to her when it was over, feeling spent in the best way possible. And to think just a short while ago, I thought my world was about to be destroyed. Now I felt like I'd been given everything that I ever wanted. I was getting the family I longed for and had been stolen from me. A hard sob tore through me, tears flooding out of my eyes.
"David?" Natalie asked with concern. "What's wrong?" She sat up and looked at me with worried eyes.
I reached up and touched her face. "Nothing, Natalie," I whispered through my tears. "Nothing is wrong at all. In fact, nothing has ever felt this right before in my entire life. Thank you."
A bemused smile lit up her face. "For what?" she asked softly.
"For giving me my life back."
Tears spilled out of her eyes as I pulled her into my arms, murmuring words of love and devotion to her until her body relaxed, and she finally fell asleep. I laid my palm on her belly again and followed her into slumber with a smile on my face as images of her waddling around with a beautiful swollen belly filled my head.
***********
"It hurts, David," Natalie whimpered. "It hurts so bad."
"Don't worry, sweetheart," I reassured her as I sat up in bed and took her hand. "You'll be fine. I'll get you to the hospital."
She was lying in our bed on her side. Her belly was huge with our baby. Her face was contorted in deep pain as she gripped my hand tighter, her eyes filled with terror.
"Something is wrong, David," she said in a quavering voice. "I know it."
"It's just a contraction. You'll be fine."
She nodded, but didn't ease up her death grip on my hand.
"Let go, Natalie," I said in a soothing tone. "Let me get dressed so I can get you to the hospital."
"Okay." Her hand finally relaxed. I got up and rushed to get dressed. I came around to her side of the bed and pulled the blankets down so I could help her get up. I stared, transfixed in horrified shock, at the blood pooling under her.
"No...no, no, no..." I whispered as fear ignited inside me.
"David..." Natalie whispered so softly that I almost couldn't hear her.
I looked at her face, and it was so pale, so white. She was bleeding out, and I couldn't help her. My body was frozen in place. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I was losing my family right before my eyes. Helpless terror surged up out of me in a scream of hopeless despair. I screamed and screamed as I watched the life dim from her gorgeous green eyes, and my entire world ended.
I jerked awake with my heart feeling like it might pound out of my chest. My body was slick with sweat, my breathing harsh and heavy. I glanced over to see Natalie sleeping soundly next to me; her face relaxed and beautiful. I reached out and traced my fingers across her flat lower abdomen to reassure myself that it had just been a nightmare. I breathed a sigh of relief and got out of bed.
The dream had been so vivid, so real, that I couldn't shake the dread that still occupied my mind. I decided to take a run to distract myself. I dressed in athletic shorts and my running shoes, then went to the third bedroom that held my treadmill. I was too shaken to risk leaving her alone in the house right now. Within minutes, I was running fast and hard, despite the lingering pain from my fight with Aiden on Saturday. I tried to banish the remnants of the dream, but it didn't work no matter how I pushed myself. After five miles, I gave up and turned off the machine.
I was walking toward the bedroom, wiping the sweat off my face and neck with a towel, when I heard a retching sound. I hurried into my room, found the bed empty, and followed the sound into the bathroom. Natalie was kneeling naked in front of the toilet, vomiting violently. I rushed to her and pulled her hair back out of the way, murmuring comforting words to her. The terror from my dream surged to life again as I watched her entire body convulsing as she threw up again and again. Helplessness coursed through me, making me feel a little ill myself.
She continued retching for several more minutes until there was nothing left to come up, then she dry-heaved a few more times. When she finally leaned away from the toilet and sat on the floor, she was pale and shaking all over. Tears were streaming down her face as she looked at me with blood shot eyes.
"Natalie," I murmured as I knelt in front of her. I brushed her hair away from her forehead with a gentle sweep of my fingers. She sat there panting and looking at me with the most miserable expression I had ever seen on her face.
"David," she whimpered pathetically. "I feel terrible. Is it going to be like this the whole time?"
"I hope not, sweetheart." I pulled her into a hug. "It usually goes away after the first few months. I think between the twelfth and eighteenth week."
"Shit, David, I'm only six weeks. That's weeks from now." Her voice was distraught as she pulled away from my arms. Then she eyed me curiously. "How do you know that?"
"Well, I'm a nurse for one thing." I grinned at her. "And I may have gone a little nuts on the Internet when Diana first got pregnant."
She smiled affectionately at me. "You're a good brother."
"I try," I answered as I stood and got a wash cloth off of the shelf above the toilet. I ran it under cool water from the sink and wrung it out, before kneeling in front of Natalie again. I was wiping the clammy moisture from her face when a thought occurred to me. "Did you say you were six weeks along?"
She nodded as I continued caring for her. I thought about how long we'd been together, which was about seven weeks now. If that was true, then I most likely got her pregnant the first time w
e had sex without a condom. She had been pregnant for nearly our entire relationship. I was rattled by a sudden jolt of guilt. My God, I almost left her alone and pregnant the day of Andy and Lydia's wedding. I pursed my lips and stared at her as the guilt felt like it wanted to eat a hole in my gut.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I left you alone like this."
"What?" she asked in confusion.
"The day of the wedding when I walked out on you, you were pregnant." I closed my eyes in shame. "I almost abandoned you and our baby."
I felt her hands against the side of my face, and I opened my eyes to see her concerned eyes. "But you didn't, did you? You're still here."
I nodded. She was right, but I couldn't help thinking of my own father, and how he'd taken off on my mom before Diana and I were even born. I came so close to doing the same thing, which would have made me no better than him. I may not care who he was or want a relationship with him, but I definitely didn't want to be anything like my father. The word "father" suddenly echoed meaningfully through my mind. I'm going to be someone's father. Someone would be counting on me in a way no one ever had before, and the weight of that realization hit me hard. Finally, the fear that I should have felt last night hit me in a wave of panic.
"Fuck," I blurted out under my breath.
"What's wrong?" The concern in her eyes deepened.
"Shit just got real."
"Welcome to my world," she murmured with a wan smile, but I could see the wild panicked look in her gorgeous eyes. I imagined that mine looked very similar right now. I pulled her into my arms and held her tight. We stayed like that for a few moments before Natalie suddenly jerked away from me and turned back toward the toilet bowl to dry heave some more. My fear of being a father was joined by my fear for Natalie and our baby. Images from my vivid nightmare popped unbidden into my head, and I had to fight down another surge of panic.
When she was done, I wiped her mouth off for her, then picked her up off the floor and carried her back to bed. I tucked her under the blankets and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Do you need anything, sweetheart?"
"Do you have any crackers? They helped a little yesterday."
"I'll go look, sweetheart." I walked out to the kitchen and went through a few cupboards before I found a box of crackers. I checked the fridge and discovered a can of ginger ale way in the back. I remembered reading that ginger could soothe morning sickness. It was worth a shot. Watching her retch and feel miserable was painful for me. I didn't deal with feeling helpless well, and I needed to do something for her.
When I walked back into my room, Natalie was sitting up and looking a little peaked, with dark circles under her eyes and pale skin. It made her face appear eerily similar to the way she looked in my nightmare. I shook off the terror as best as I could and put on a calm expression for her.
She smiled gratefully as I handed her the cracker box, and set the can of ginger ale on the nightstand. She hastily opened the box and started stuffing a cracker into her mouth with a grimace of distaste. It was going to be a long few weeks for her. Even worse if she was one of the unlucky women who was sick for most or all of their pregnancy. I had no intension of telling her about that possibility.
"I'm going to take a shower," I said as I caressed her cheek gently. "Will you be okay?"
"I think so," she said in a subdued voice, her body slumped with fatigue.
"Why don't we stay home from work today?" I suggested. She needed to rest, and I couldn't bring myself to leave her here alone after that horrible nightmare.
"I think that's a great idea," she mumbled out. "I'm so tired that I want to sleep all day."
"I'll get your phone so you can call in." I went out, picked her bag up off the floor by the front door, and brought it to her. I grabbed my phone and started calling my supervisor as I watched Natalie do the same.
My boss sounded worried when I told her I was taking a personal day. I rarely called in and I felt a little guilty about it, but Natalie was more important and needed me. By the time I ended my call, Natalie had already called in sick herself. She was taking a few sips of her ginger ale as I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up. Her color was coming back to her face, and I felt a little less worried about her.
I came back into the bedroom after my shower to find Natalie sound asleep amid the cracker crumbs all over the sheets and pillow case around her. I couldn't help smiling. I brushed away most of the crumbs and pulled the blankets up over her. I leaned down and kissed her forehead softly.
"I'll always love you and take care of you," I whispered, "both of you. I promise." I dressed quickly and picked up my phone on my way out of my room, closing the door gently as I walked out. I was going to start taking care of her right now, and I had some calls to make.
***********
"Natalie," I said her name quietly as I touched her cheek softly and brushed her hair out of her face. "Wake up, sweetheart."
"Mmm?" she mumbled as her eyes flickered a few times before opening to focus on my face.
"It's past eleven o'clock and you need to eat something." I sat on the bed next to her. "Do you think you feel good enough to try?"
"I feel hungry," she said in a sleepy voice as she stretched lazily.
"What sounds good?"
"Toast and scrambled eggs." She smiled affectionately. "I love it when you cook for me."
"Good." I pressed my palm to her cheek and rubbed my thumb along her bottom lip. "Because I love cooking for you." I bent down and kissed her gently, her lips warm and so very soft. It made me want my cock in her mouth. A low moan escaped my lips. Natalie whimpered into my mouth and sank her fingers into my hair. I palmed her right breast and gave it what I thought was a gentle squeeze until Natalie yelped in pain.
"Sorry." I pulled my hand away immediately and sat up.
"They're really sore today." She glanced down at her chest. "And huge."
She was right. They were definitely bigger. I noticed that myself several weeks ago, but she told me it was because her period was due. I couldn't believe we didn't realize she was pregnant before now. We'd been dating for almost two months, and she had never had a single menstrual cycle. I guess we were too caught up in the emotional roller coaster of our relationship to notice what was going on right in front of us. I suddenly felt like a moron.
"I'm a moron," she mumbled under her breath.
"Huh?" I looked at her closely. Was she reading my mind?
"I can't believe I never noticed that I didn't have my period this whole time." She shook her head in exasperation. "You must think I'm stupid. I couldn't manage to take my pills or even see what was right in front of my face."
"I feel like a moron too, Natalie." I sighed as I rubbed at my beard. "I'm a nurse and I didn't even notice."
"We're idiots," she grumbled. "We'll make great parents." Her voice was thick with sarcasm. I watched her eyes change from annoyance to panic, and tears started to well up as she looked at me. "I'm terrified, David."
"So am I," I whispered and took her in my arms, holding her as close as I could. I'd spent most of the morning hurling back and forth between excitement and terror. I paced around the house while Natalie was sleeping, worrying about her and the baby, and my ability to be a father when I'd never even had one in my life. I was still happy that she was carrying my baby, but now it was tempered by the reality of how much my life was going to change.
"I need a shower," she said quietly after a few moments. I let go of her and wiped a tear from her cheek.
"I'll have your eggs and toast ready when you're done." I gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand briefly before rising to leave the room. I paused in the doorway when I realized she still hadn't moved. She was staring at her hands with a lost look on her face. "Natalie," I said softly. She looked up at me with tear glistened eyes. She seemed unsure of herself, and it was so unlike her. "You're not alone in this. You know that right?"
"I do." She gave me a small smile. "I'm just kin
d of freaking out about it. Everything is going to be so different."
"I know, sweetheart." I gave her a warm smile. "But we'll be fine. You'll see."
"How can you be so sure?" she asked in a quavering voice.
"Because we're doing this together, and we love each other."
Her smile widened. "You're a good boyfriend, and you'll be a good dad too."
Her belief in me made me feel a little better. "I try," I whispered. "I love you, Natalie."
"I love you too." Her eyes were lit up with affection.
I walked out feeling a little calmer than I was earlier. I made her breakfast and was plating it for her when she came into the kitchen dressed and smelling like pears. I handed her the plate and checked out her ass in her jeans as she walked out to the dining room. I joined her a few moments later with my own plate and sat next to her at the table. I watched in amusement as she shoveled the eggs into her mouth enthusiastically.
"What?" Her fork paused in mid air as she glared at me.
"I'm just happy to see you feeling better, sweetheart."
"Me too," she said with feeling. "This morning was awful."
When she started scraping up the last bits of egg, I took her plate and went to the kitchen to get her some more. I walked back in to see a smile light up her face as I set the plate in front of her.
"I have a surprise for you," I said matter-of-factly as I sat back down in my chair.
"Really?" she asked eagerly as she started in on her second helping.
"I made some calls this morning, and I got us an appointment with the best obstetrician in town." I smiled triumphantly at her.
"I can just go to my own doctor, David." She looked perplexed and not at all thrilled like I thought she would be. My smile faltered.
"But Dr. Evans is the best, Natalie." I tried to reason with her. "She's Diana's doctor."
"I appreciate you looking out for me, but I can take care of it myself."
"But it could take weeks for you to get an appointment, Natalie," I said reasonably. "I got us one this afternoon. I want to make sure everything is okay with you and the baby." An image of her lifeless face from my nightmare suddenly popped into my head, but I didn't dare to tell her about the dream. I didn't want to frighten her any more than she already was right now. "Please, Natalie," I pleaded. "I need to know that both of you are healthy."
You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3 Page 3