"Fuck," I blurted out louder than I intended, drawing several shocked looks from the nearby nurses, as panic surged up inside me. I met Ford's eyes with a distraught expression. "I don't think she'll ever forgive me, Ford."
"I don't believe that, no matter what you said," Ford said with assurance. "She loves you, David. I've never seen her like this with another man. I'm sure if you guys talk this out, like you should have in the first place, that you can work it out. You two belong together. I refuse to believe she'd let this end because of some stupid thing you said while you were angry."
"Do you really think it will be that easy to fix this?" I asked uncertainly.
He snorted out a laugh. "I never said it would be easy. She is my sister after all. She has stubborn down to a science. I'm sure you'll have to do a shit ton of groveling. It all depends on how bad you want this."
"I've never wanted anything more in my entire life," I told him sincerely. "I love that woman more than life itself. I'll grovel until the end of time if that's what it takes to get her to take me back."
Just then the door to Natalie's room opened and a tall slender brunette, that was her nurse, came out and looked at Ford. I think her name was Lori. "You can go back in now. The doctor will be in shortly."
"Thanks," he said with a nod before she walked away. Then he looked at me expectantly. I glanced at the closed door with trepidation. I guess it was now or never. Ford's mouth twisted into a smirk. "You look like a deer caught in the headlights."
"Your sister is terrifying," I said with a wry smile.
"Don't I know it." His smile widened. He put a hand on my shoulder as his expression turned serious. "Good-luck David, and no matter what she says, don't give up. She needs you."
I nodded stiffly and turned toward the closed door, hoping I could salvage this like Ford seemed to think I could. I had my work cut out for me, that much I knew, but my future was on the line now. No matter how difficult it was, I wouldn't run away this time. I was done with that cowardly person that I didn't want to be anymore. I was going to fight for my happiness and for my family. After all, that's what a good father would do.
***********
"What the hell are you doing here?" Natalie asked harshly as I entered her ER room. Her green eyes flashed with fury, but there was an unmistakable glimmer of hurt in them. She was sitting up in the hospital bed holding a bloody towel to the left side of her head. She was dressed in a hideous hospital gown and a huge pair of sweatpants that wouldn't have even fitted me. There were blood stains all over them. She looked pale and tired with dark circles under her eyes. I think she lost some weight too. My stomach clenched with worry, and I had to fight the urge to gather into my arms and hold her tight.
"Ford called and told me you were here," I said softly as I stopped at the foot of her bed. "I was worried about you."
"Why?" she snarled. "Were you afraid I would get a secret abortion in the ER?"
Wow, she wasn't pulling her punches at all. Shame knifed through me.
"I am so sorry, Natalie," I whispered shakily. "I can't believe I even suggested something so horrible. You know I didn't mean it. Right?"
"Then why did you even say it?" she asked angrily as her lower lip trembled and tears welled up in her eyes.
"I was just plain stupid," I said softly as I sat in the wooden folding chair next to her. "I thought you were pulling away from me, and that you didn't want me or my baby anymore. I lashed out because I was hurt and angry. You have to believe me when I say how sorry I am."
"Why would you think that I didn't want you or our baby?" she said in confusion. "Why didn't you ask me?"
"You've been so unhappy and miserable since you found out I got you pregnant, and I was afraid to find out that it was true," I answered her. "I thought that if I took care of you enough, that I could make you happy and change your mind. Then you wouldn't leave me and take my baby away from me." A sob hitched inside my chest, and tears started sliding down my face as I stared at my lap. "Because that would destroy me."
There was a long moment of silence, and I could feel Natalie watching me.
"David," she finally spoke, her tone soft and tremulous. I looked up and saw tears glistening in her gorgeous green eyes. "I never once thought I didn't want this baby with you. I'm just terrified that I'll be a terrible mother, and I don't want to let you down or disappoint you. All I know about being a mom, I learned from my crazy overprotective mother. All I know about relationships, I learned from my parent's nightmare of a marriage. I don't want to screw up our baby or have us end up hating each other, because I don't have a clue. When you started doing everything for me and smothering me, I thought it was because you didn't think I was capable of being a good mom."
"Oh sweetheart," I murmured and reached over to grip her free hand. I was relieved when she didn't move her hand away and rebuff me. I squeezed her fingers gently. "Getting that call from my father made me realize all the baggage I didn't even know I was carrying around. I thought that I was a failure as a man, because I couldn't make you happy anymore. I started thinking that I wasn't capable of being a father for our baby, or being the man you needed, since I'd never had a father myself.
"When you didn't answer my texts or calls yesterday, I just assumed that you were finally letting me go. I thought the whole Paige thing was happening to me all over again. I'm so sorry, Natalie. I should have talked to you, should have paid more attention to what you were going through. I was so caught up in my own messed up head that I missed what was going on right in front of me."
"All this, because we were too stupid and stubborn to talk to each other," she said with a wan smile. "I guess neither of us has a clue what we're doing."
"Maybe we'll stand a better chance being clueless together?" I asked as I rubbed my thumb in gentle circles on the back of her hand. A small smile played across my lips. The darkness that had been festering inside me for the last week or so finally started to fade as I felt hope for us again.
She bit her lower lip and began nodding at me. "I think that's a good idea."
"Come here." I released her hand and opened my arms as I stood. A little sob escaped her lips as she reached for me, and I wrapped her up in my arms. She leaned the uninjured side of her head against my chest and let out a deep cathartic sigh.
"I missed you," she whispered.
"I'm right here with you now, sweetheart," I said as I rested my cheek on the top of her head. "I'm not going anywhere, and I love you so much, both of you."
"I love you too," she answered as she tightened her free arm around my waist. She looked up at me with a sweet smile. "We love you."
Joy burst to life inside me. I still had my Natalie, still had my baby. What more could a man want? I cradled her chin in my hand and leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her silky soft lips, but it quickly morphed into something fiery and fierce. I pushed my tongue into her mouth with a low moan. She immediately parted them to let me in, and our tongues clashed together. We fed desperately on each other for several long moments, until the sound of someone clearing their throat pulled us back to reality.
I startled and stepped back from Natalie, who blushed in embarrassment. I looked toward the door to see Dr. Leonard, the same ER doctor that had taken care of Natalie when she was here after Aiden's assault on her.
"Sorry to interrupt," he said with a smirk as he looked back and forth between us. He was tall and thin with graying hair and dark eyes. He was one of my favorite doctors down here. He was very good at his job, but didn't take himself too seriously or have one of those God complexes that some doctors had. I was glad that he was caring for Natalie again.
"Hi, Doc," I greeted him warmly as he walked over to the other side of Natalie's hospital bed.
"David." He nodded at me, then turned his attention to Natalie, who was still blushing a little. "Natalie, we need to stop meeting like this." He smiled at her. "I know I'm irresistible and all, but think of David's feelings here."
"I'
m sorry, Dr. Leonard," Natalie said with a wry smile. "But there's no hope for us now. He knocked me up." She pointed a thumb at me. It had been awhile since she made a joke about her pregnancy. I took that as a good sign.
Dr. Leonard let out a laugh and kept smiling as he got down to business.
"I hear you passed out today," he said as he looked at the chart in his hand. "Is this the first time?"
"Yeah," Natalie said sheepishly and glanced over at me. "But I've been lightheaded and dizzy a lot lately." This was news to me. I felt a twinge of guilt. If I hadn't been smothering her and making her feel inadequate, maybe she would have shared that with me.
"That's not unusual during the first trimester. The pregnancy hormones are making your blood vessels relax and widen to increase blood flow to the baby. It can make you feel dizzy." His face turned serious as he studied her chart. "What worries me, is that you've lost weight since the last time you were here. Have you been eating enough and drinking plenty of fluids?"
"Well," she answered as she avoided my gaze. "I've been nauseous and throwing up a lot."
"When was the last time you ate or drank anything?" he asked her gently.
"I had some soup at lunch yesterday, but it didn't stay down. I haven't eaten anything since then. I had some ginger ale afterwords and that's pretty much all I've had since." She finally looked over at me with a wince. I think she expected me to be angry, but I just felt guilty again. If I had just paid attention and stopped nagging her constantly maybe she would have told me about it. I'd added stress that she didn't need and made things worse.
"It sounds to me like you're dehydrated, and your blood sugar bottomed out on you since you hadn't eaten anything for a while. We'll give you some fluids, and then we'll get you something to eat too." He put the chart down on the bed and moved closer to Natalie. "Now, let's take a look at that head wound."
Natalie lowered the bloody towel, so he could examine her laceration. He tried to be gentle as he moved her hair out of the way, but she still winced. He looked at it closely for a few seconds.
"It's not bad. It just bled a lot since it's a scalp wound. You need a few staples, and you'll be good to go."
"Staples?" she blurted out as her face paled and a panicked expression crossed her features.
"Don't worry," he reassured her. "I know what I'm doing, and it will be over quickly."
She looked at me for reassurance.
"You'll be fine, sweetheart," I reached out and took her hand. "I'll stay with you the whole time."
"I'll be back in a bit to take care of that," Dr. Leonard said as he moved toward the door. "The nurse will be in shortly to start your IV."
"IV?" Natalie asked with widening eyes. I squeezed her hand tighter.
"Thanks, Doc," I said with a smirk that thankfully Natalie didn't see. He nodded with an amused grin and left the room.
"I don't want an IV, David," she said in a fearful tone as she looked up at me with wild eyes. "Aren't the staples enough?" I guess she wasn't kidding when she told me she hated needles at Dr. Evans' office the other day. I didn't have the heart to mention that giving birth would be even worse than this.
"You need the fluids, sweetheart."
"Can't I just drink them?" she asked hopefully.
"You mean like all those other fluids you've been able to keep down?" I asked with a wry smile, so she knew I wasn't trying to be mean.
"I guess you have a point." She still looked scared, but she sounded resigned.
There was a knock on the door, and her eyes widened in terror, but it was only Ford entering the room.
"I see you guys worked your shit out," he said with a smug smile on his face as he noticed our still clasped hands.
Natalie leveled a glare at her brother. "You called David behind my back, then narced on me," she said accusingly.
"I did," he said as his smile widened unapologetically. "You two morons needed someone to pull your heads out of your asses. Thank God your kid is going to have me for an uncle. You two knuckleheads are going to need all the help you can get."
"Ford!" Natalie scolded him in exasperation. She tightened her hand on mine in anger. I started laughing and earned a glare of my own from her. She shoved my hand away and threw her pillow at her brother. He dodged it easily.
"Damn, woman," he said as he picked the pillow up off the floor. "They weren't kidding about the pregnancy mood swings."
"Fuck you, Ford," she grumbled, but the corners of her lips were starting to turn up into a smile.
"I love you, Natie," Ford said in a warm affectionate tone that made Natalie finally smile at her brother. "Are you going to be okay?" His eyes filled with sudden concern.
"Yeah," she answered him as she looked up at me with a soft smile. I knew she was talking about more than just her physical wellbeing. "I am, Ford. I love you too." She grabbed my hand again and squeezed it. "And I love you," she whispered with love glowing in her eyes.
"I love you, Natalie," I whispered back as I leaned down and kissed her temple. A calmness came over me as I realized that she had forgiven me and the weight of my guilt began to ease. It was such a relief to have her back, to have my family back, and I would do everything in my power to make sure we were never apart again.
***********
I moved quietly into my bedroom, and stopped next to the bed. I looked down at Natalie's sleeping form, curled up into a ball on her right side. I could clearly see the three staples on the left side of her head. I clenched my teeth at the thought that she could have been hurt a lot worse. Hell, she could have fallen down the steps at her brother's apartment. I could have lost them both. I was so glad that she and the baby were safe and healthy.
She'd been asleep for hours since I brought her home from the hospital. The IV fluids had made her feel and look a lot better, and the food they gave her at the hospital actually stayed down. She had gotten a prescription for nausea medication, and it made her really drowsy, so I tucked her in bed and let her sleep. After the stressful few weeks she had, I knew she needed the rest.
George chirped quietly at me from where he was lying behind her knees on top of the blankets. He hadn't left her side since I brought her home. Home. This was her home and where she belonged, whether she could admit that to herself yet or not. I wondered how long it would take to convince her to move in with me. I would have to be patient and not push her too hard, but I wanted her here before the baby was born. I wanted to wake up with her everyday and hold her every night. I couldn't wait to wrap my arms around her at night, and cradle her big pregnant belly in my hand. I couldn't wait to feel our baby kick and move inside her. Pleasure rushed through my entire body, like tingling warm fluid, at that thought.
I shook myself out of my reverie, remembering why I came in here in the first place. I had practically forgotten the basket of clean clothes I was carrying. I reluctantly walked away from the bed to the closet. I quietly hung the clothes up and filled the basket with another load of dirty laundry. I went to leave the room and was just to the door when Natalie spoke.
"David?" she called out softly in a sleep roughened voice.
I dropped the laundry basket and hurried over to her. I knelt down next her and reached out to caress her cheek. "What do you need, sweetheart?" I asked her with a warm smile.
"Will you lay down with me?" she asked as she returned my smile, her eyes sleepy and unfocused. "I need you to hold me."
"I can do that," I nodded. I wasn't much of a nap taker. However, holding a beautiful woman? That I was more than willing to do.
I stood and took off my shirt and pants, loving the way Natalie's eyes darkened as she admired my body. I walked around the bed in my boxer briefs, then climbed under the covers behind her. I grabbed her hip and pulled her close, disturbing George, who meowed in annoyance as he jumped off the bed. I felt kind of bad, but Natalie's warm soft body made me get over it quickly.
I held her close and buried my face in her sweet-smelling hair. She moaned happily an
d wiggled her hips in the most delightful way as she snuggled back against me. My cock twitched, then hardened and lengthened where it was cradled by Natalie's luscious ass. I tried to ignore my sudden surge of desire. After the long day she had, I highly doubted she wanted to have sex.
She wiggled some more, and I bit my lip in frustration. It was all I could do not to sink my teeth into her shoulder and grind my dick against her ass. After a few torturous moments, I felt her settle back into sleep. I sighed as I tried to get my libido under control. Goddamn, I wanted her right now, but it could wait. I lie there trying not to think about how tight and wet she would be if I slid my cock into her. I growled in annoyance. Thoughts like that weren't helping.
I started thinking about the last few days as a distraction. My own stupidity this week astounded me. I let my fear dictate my actions. Instead of talking to Natalie, I made assumptions and let myself fall into such a dark place that I actually started thinking the worst of Natalie when she didn't answer my texts and calls yesterday. I felt horrible about suggesting that she was anything like Paige, and I felt even worse when Natalie told me she had forgotten her phone at home.
Natalie herself, had gone through hell recently too. She had been so afraid of letting me down that she kept her fears and worries about being pregnant to herself. I had been so caught up in my own fears, the stress of my father calling, and the rift between my sister and me, that I didn't see what was going on with her at all. I should have. I should have been there for her, supported her, instead of smothering her and making her feel inadequate, then maybe these last few horrible days could have been avoided. I was just grateful that she forgave me so easily. It wouldn't be so easy to forgive myself.
I pulled Natalie in tighter against me, my left hand sliding down to rest on her belly. From now on, my only focus was Natalie and our baby. I was going to take care of her like she deserved, by listening to her and giving her whatever she asked for, instead of being a controlling asshole. Natalie sighed in her sleep, and I burrowed my face into the back of her neck. I guess I was tired and worn out too, because amazingly I actually fell asleep.
You Are My Life: Breathless Book 3 Page 16