by DeLeon, Jon
Kurt went about setting the table as Liz retrieved a large storage bowl from the refrigerator and a bag of sliced bread from a side cabinet. She placed the bowl in the microwave and hit a few buttons. A light whirring noise filled the RV cabin. Kurt had just finished making the three spots as Liz handed him a two-liter bottle of Coke. “Hope you like cola.”
“Yeah, Coke is great.”
Tyler hopped inside the RV with a light step, feeling lighter from his bathroom break. “Breaking out the soda tonight?” he asked, surprised.
“Well we have a guest, so I figured, why not?” Liz answered.
“I thought we were saving it as long as possible.”
A short awkward silence followed as Liz and Tyler just looked at each other.
“I’m fine with water,” Kurt said, trying to calm the weirdness.
“No. No, we might as well drink it while we’re still alive,” Tyler said.
“Don’t say it like that, Tyler,” Liz said, accusatory.
“Well it’s true, Lizzy.”
“I’ll put it back,” Kurt said.
“No, seriously. Open the bottle and pour us some cups. Liz is right. It’s a special night. Who knows how many more chances we’ll have to welcome a guest?”
Kurt opened the bottle and poured three glasses.
A beep signaled, the bowl in the microwave was finished.
“Hope you like chicken noodle, Kurt,” Liz said as she pulled the bowl out.
“I—”
“Who doesn’t like chicken noodle? I’m sure he loves it. Right, Kurt?” Tyler blurted out.
“I love it,” Kurt answered.
Liz brought the large bowl over and filled each of their individual bowls with soup. The next few minutes were a silent feast as each of the three dipped their bread in the soup and spooned large mouthfuls into their faces. After their initial hunger burn was satiated, conversation picked up.
“So, Kurt,” Liz said, “you said you’re an exchange student but were sold a bill of goods. What did you mean by that?”
Kurt swallowed an unruly noodle with a gulp before speaking. “Well I came here expecting to have a fun trip full of traveling through Europe, partying and I guess just having fun. All I’ve seen is the little Podunk Russian town I was placed in.”
“Why didn’t you travel more?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t know, just didn’t. I guess I didn’t want to do it all alone either.”
“Were you the only exchange student?” Liz asked.
“Yeah.”
“And you didn’t make any friends?” Tyler asked, sounding maybe a little too fatherly. Liz smacked him on the arm. “What?”
“No. None of the kids really wanted to be friends with an American. I mean, I probably could have put myself out there more too. It’s just . . .” Kurt paused.
“What is it, Kurt?” Liz asked.
“Well growing up I was always close with my brother, and we were built-in best friends. I guess I just never found anyone who felt like they were easy to be friends with like that.”
“Of course not,” Tyler said. “You’ve known him for, what, twenty years? You can’t expect to find someone who is instantly that close a friend.”
“I know. I guess I just knew it was temporary here, so I didn’t want to waste energy for such a short time.”
“Well it’s better than being alone,” Liz said, concerned.
“That’s true,” Kurt said.
“Well you’re not alone now! Welcome to the family!” Tyler said enthusiastically. Liz smiled and nodded at Kurt.
“Thanks. What about you guys? You said you were traveling Europe for your honeymoon and somehow ended up here. What’s that story?”
“Well,” Liz started, “we actually got married about six months ago now. But Tyler couldn’t get off work right away. He’s a real estate agent back home in Kentucky. That’s where we’re from.”
“Honey, you can probably jump ahead to the whole Europe trip. He doesn’t need to know that far back,” Tyler interjected.
“Oh, right,” Liz continued. “Well we’ve been here for just over three weeks now. We saw all the major places first, Venice, Rome, Paris, Prague . . . oh, Tyler, that dinner in Prague was so romantic. You looked so cute in your little suit. We brought some nice clothes for a fancy dinner or two. We went to this amazing place overlooking the river and—”
“Liz, he doesn’t care about our dinner. Basically, Kurt, we were heading to Moscow from Prague in a rental car when shit hit the fan. Someone trying to get out of town as fast as possible crashed into our car, marooning us. Luckily I was able to commandeer this RV, and we started heading into the woods, leaving any place with a large group of people in our rear view. Liz wanted to go back and try helping people, but luckily for us, I was driving. You understand though, don’t you, Kurt?”
“Huh?”
“Kurt, you get it, right? We all had to leave and just get away. It’s every man for himself at that point,” Tyler continued.
“Well—”
Tyler didn’t let Kurt finish. “I mean, obviously you’re out in the woods by yourself. You got out of dodge. You didn’t try to save someone else and get yourself killed. You looked out for yourself, and you’re alive. That’s what you have to do in this new world, look out for yourself and survive.”
“I don’t know about that, but—”
“Come on, man, don’t be naive. Did you grab your neighbor and get them out?”
“Well . . .”
“Did you?”
“No.”
“Exactly. Everyone thinks it’s so noble to try saving others, but really, when it comes down to it, it’s you, number one, and everyone else a distant two.”
“I’m a distant two, huh, Tyler?” Liz was not happy.
“Honey, don’t be stupid. It’s different with you.”
“Stupid? You literally just said that. What is Kurt then? Expendable?”
“No, I mean, not really.”
“Oh nice, Ty!”
“Well, I mean, we do know him now, but if it came down to protecting you or him, I’m going to let him go.”
“Tyler!”
“What? He understands. Right, Kurt?”
Kurt sat in silence, not sure what to say at that point. Lovers’ spats were always awkward.
“See, Tyler! You made him uncomfortable now.”
“I did? I was just telling him about how we escaped. You’re the one who brought him into this.”
“Tyler, you just went on a tirade about how you’re going to look out for yourself.”
“Well if shit goes crazy, what else am I supposed to do?”
“Are you serious?” Liz spat back.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders.
Kurt wanted to diffuse the situation so badly. “Let’s just make sure that it doesn’t come to that. If we stick to these back roads and work our way to the coast while avoiding any major population centers, we should avoid most if not all the undead. They shouldn’t have spread out this far yet. I’m sure they are still, well, busy with all the people in the cities.”
“Yes, thank you, Kurt, for speaking logically, not letting your emotions go crazy and run your brain.” Tyler said.
Liz stood, obviously offended at the implication, and walked to the back of the RV and slammed the bedroom door.
“Well that was dramatic, wasn’t it?” Tyler said. “Sorry about that. Liz can get super emotional sometimes.”
“Can’t really blame her though, can you?”
“What do you mean?” Tyler asked, a little defensive.
“Well, I mean, the whole world is basically dying. I mean, everyone is becoming a zombie. Everyone, not just strangers either, but everyone. Your family and friends are probably all dead.” Kurt looked at the table, suddenly depressed.
“Do you have family, Kurt?” Tyler asked, suddenly extremely sincere.
“Yeah, in Miami. From what I saw online . . . I . . . I don’t know.”
“They didn’t order any of the Enerjax?” Kurt asked tentatively.
Tyler laughed a little. “No, my dad never let anyone in my family take any pills. He was super strict about that. Even when my sister broke her arm, he wouldn’t let her take pain pills. He said, ‘Ibuprofen is strong enough. The body can heal itself better without you putting poison in it.’” Tyler laughed again. “I never thought his pigheadedness would save our lives.”
“You have a sister?”
“Yeah. Actually I have a younger sister and brother.”
“Are you close?”
“My sister is five years younger, so there’s a little bit of an age gap, but we’re still pretty close. My brother is ten years younger. He was a happy accident, so we have a little bit different of a relationship. He’s almost been like my son in some ways. I was always the one taking him to soccer practice and school. I would even go to PTA meetings on occasion. So we’re really close, just a different type of close.”
“Yeah, my brother and I are super close too. We always have been more like best friends. He’s a little older than I am, but for the most part, we have always been with the same group of friends and everything. I just wish he was here. He’s military and would know what to do in all this. I . . . I just wish I knew if he was alive. I feel it in my heart, but I just want to hear his voice. I just wish I could know.”
“Yeah, I think not knowing is worse.”
“Yeah.”
Kurt and Tyler sat in silence for a few minutes, each in his own mental world, thinking about their families. Tyler broke the silence.
“We’ll clean up tomorrow, Kurt. Let’s get some sleep. The couch is yours.”
“Thanks, and thanks again for picking me up today.”
“Of course, man. Sleep well.”
Tyler walked off to the back of the RV, opening the door to the bedroom and closing it with a soft click.
Kurt crawled onto the couch and lay down. It was immeasurably more comfortable than the bed of needles he had slept on last night. As he felt the cushions wrap around him, he pulled a blanket over his body. Tyler and Liz were having a hushed conversation in the back of the RV. Kurt fell asleep listening to their quiet voices emanate from the back of the camper.
The Winnebago had been switch backing through the Russian woods on back roads for a couple of days now. The journey had been much slower than they had anticipated. The night after picking Kurt up had been the start of a torrential downpour. The heavy rains had washed out entire sections of the road and turned others into impassable quagmires. More than once, they had been forced to backtrack and try other roads.
The sun hung high in the sky when the Winnebago sank deep into a muddy hole. Tyler pressed the gas pedal, but the wheels just turned, struggling to grasp any friction.
“Shit!” Tyler punched the steering wheel. “Kurt!”
Kurt jumped up from the nap he was taking on the sofa in the RV. “Yo!”
“We’re stuck again.” Tyler grumbled as he sat down to tie on his muddy boots.
“Again?” Kurt rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Yes. Again, Kurt. This fucking Russian wilderness,” Tyler spat out. His patience had grown thin. The RV had gotten stuck twice already this morning. Each time required Tyler and Kurt to get out and rock it free from the slippery mess it was stuck in. The cold rain made working in the mud miserable. “Come on, Kurt. Hurry the fuck up. I don’t want to be out here long.” Tyler dropped out of the driver’s seat and stepped outside. “Liz, get in the driver’s seat and step on the gas when I say.” He closed the door hard.
Kurt decided it was best to stay quiet. Liz was doing the same as she sat in the passenger seat. She turned and met Kurt’s gaze and mouthed “sorry” as she moved to the driver’s seat.
“Come on, Kurt!” Tyler yelled from outside.
Kurt quickly slid on a pair of work boots that were still caked in mud from the last time they had dug the RV out of a sinkhole and stepped out the side door. He walked around to the back of the RV, where the passenger-side tire had sunk in all the way to the axle. Tyler kicked the tire. “Piece of shit.”
“Relax, man, jeez. Let’s just rock it like we’ve been doing and get it out of here. Come on.” Kurt and Tyler started pushing and releasing, rocking the wheel on the side of the hole.
“Hit it, Liz!” Tyler yelled. She didn’t hear him. “Keep pushing, Kurt,” he said as he walked around to the driver’s side. “Liz! Hit the gas!”
She heard him this time and stepped on the pedal. The RV lurched forward, climbing out of the hole. Kurt was pressing so hard at this point that the second it climbed out of the hole, he fell flat on his face in the mud. He was caked from head to toe. Liz stopped the RV a few feet down the road and popped her head out the window. “Nice work, guys!”
Tyler helped Kurt up with his hand. Kurt walked around to the driver’s side so Liz could see him. He gave her a wide smile, mud caking his teeth, and a thumbs-up. “Thanks, Liz,” he said jokingly.
Liz lost it instantly, laughter erupting from her, unable to contain it. Kurt joined in. The situation was so pitiful that all he could do was laugh. The only person not laughing was Tyler.
“Is it that funny? Really? We’re stuck here, not moving. We could be killed by zombies at any second and you two are giggling like little kids.”
“Maybe you should take a mud bath, Tyler,” Liz said in between laughs.
Tyler was about to say something back, but Kurt cut him off. “Come on, man, look at me. You can’t tell me this isn’t ridiculous.”
Tyler looked at Kurt and felt a smile creep onto his face. “You are literally more mud than man right now.”
“I feel like I just got shat out of something.”
Tyler started laughing. Kurt and Liz laughed louder. The three of them shared a moment of rare hilarity in the middle of the Russian wilderness.
Kurt sat down at the dinner table after taking a less than pleasurable rain shower outside. It had taken nearly half an hour of cold rain to get the mud off his body. He had just trashed his clothes and taken a fresh set out of his backpack. Despite all the annoyances and rough travel, Kurt was happy to be traveling with Liz and Tyler. The sense of normality was a welcome reprieve. Every night, they would have “family” dinners, talking about their past lives and fond memories of home. Kurt shared more stories about his brother and their crazy experiences growing up in Miami. Liz and Tyler shared about their families and how they had met in college and all the crazy parties they had survived and thrown together. Tonight they decided to share a bottle of wine.
“Hey, Kurt,” Tyler said, “I just wanted to apologize for snapping at you earlier today. I already said sorry to Liz while you were getting your shower in, but I wanted to apologize to you as well. Sometimes my temper just snaps and makes me say or do things I shouldn’t.”
“It’s all good, man. I know these last few days have been frustrating.”
“Seriously, right!” Tyler said, taking a drink from his plastic cup of wine. “Maybe you’re bad luck,” Tyler said, laughing.
“Tyler!” Liz said.
“I was joking,” Tyler said
Kurt laughed. “Maybe I am.”
“That’s not funny.” Liz turned her nose at the joke.
“Looks like we’re in trouble, Kurt,” Tyler said.
“Should have 314’ed that joke,” Kurt said, laughing.
Tyler and Liz looked at him, confused.
“Oh sorry, that’s something my brother and I used to do. It started when we were in junior high and my brother had snuck a girl into his room. I was downstairs with my parents. The warning sign if our parents were headed upstairs was to send him a text saying ‘314’ and he would know to hide her. Then in high school, if one of us had to get in past our parents after curfew, the other would text
‘314?’ And when the coast was clear, we’d text back ‘314.’ We lived together in college, and 314 became more than text. We would knock on the door three times, one time, then four times to, well, give time to get decent if there was a girl over or if we were doing something the other brother shouldn’t see. Basically 314 in a message or knocking pattern meant the coast was clear, you’re safe. Then it kind of became a thing we sent to each other saying we were okay when my brother deployed. He didn’t have great service or internet in Afghanistan, so we didn’t get to talk much. But every time I got a Facebook message or text from a random satellite number saying ‘314,’ I knew he was safe. I wish I could send him that message now.”
“What about that phone, Tyler? Can it send messages?”
Kurt looked up at Tyler with wide eyes, nearly choking on a sip of wine he had just taken. “You have a phone?”
“Not really,” Tyler answered. “It’s damaged pretty bad. I kinda gave up on it.”
“Can you fix it?” Kurt asked.
“Tyler is an amazing electrical engineer! He can fix anything. His dad taught him everything about electronics since he was a kid. He was an electrician and wanted Tyler to follow in his footsteps. Tyler was in engineering school before he decided the housing market turnaround was too good to pass up and started selling Real Estate.” Liz chimed in.
“Liz! Come on!” Tyler said, a tad more aggressive than he wanted. “Don’t give him foolish hope.” He turned to Kurt. “I can try, but it’s bad. The battery spilled acid on the circuit board.”
Kurt nodded his head. “I’ll drive the full day tomorrow if you work on fixing it.”
“That sounds like a plan,” Liz said.
Tyler thought for a second. “Okay, I’ll try, but don’t get hope about it.”
“You act like hope is a bad thing to have, Tyler,” Liz said.
“It is, Liz. Any hope above surviving can cloud our focus. Hope makes us think about something other than right now. We need to survive no matter what. That means everything else is expendable, especially hope.”
“Well having a working phone can only help our survival, right?” Kurt said.
“That’s true,” Liz said, teaming up with Kurt.