by S. S. Segran
“Try telling the old man that.”
“So how come you’re back here in Rhode Island?”
“I’ve been coming and going for the past year, trying to see if I can mend stuff with my family. I don’t know why I keep doing this. Nothing changes. When I’m in California, I’m my own man. But when I return home it’s like I’m fourteen years old again, bowing to my parents’ every wish… ugh. Damn it!” Tony dropped his head to the bar top.
Jerry hummed as he downed the rest of his drink. “It sounds like you’re still looking for their approval.”
“I think so. I don’t know why I care so much. I don’t know why I keep throwing myself into a nasty cycle that will never be broken.”
“You cut yourself with a knife when you could be using it to cut the leash around your neck.”
“You’re advising me to break all ties with my family? Isn’t that a little out of line for someone who’s just met me?”
Jerry grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “Well, you’ve just met me, yet here we are having a therapy session about your absolutely horrible family at eleven at night in a sketchy bar.”
Tony retuned the other man’s grin with a knowing one of his own. “Touché.”
To his surprise, Jerry placed a hand on Tony’s jaw and turned his head to look at his profile. “What are you—” Tony started, but was cut off.
“You’re going to have a mighty bruise near your eye,” Jerry said, frowning. “Do you normally get into alcohol-induced fights?”
“Yes. It’s my hobby, actually. I barhop searching for the weakest man to kick my butt when I’m too inebriated to fight properly.”
“What, coin collecting was too outdated for you?”
The pair shared a short laugh before ordering water for themselves. As they drank, Tony sighed. “Thanks for listening to my whining. I swear I’m not usually like this.”
“Don’t mention it. Sometimes all we need is a friendly ear. Although I’m hoping you’re not looking for my sob story, because I haven’t had enough drinks to spill my guts yet.”
“I think it’s only fair,” Tony countered, pulling his phone out of his pocket.
“Whoa, friend. This isn’t the old days. We can’t just barter away our deepest thoughts and call it even.”
Tony glanced down at his phone and winced. He’d turned it off for the past couple of hours to avoid being bothered and was now greeted by two dozen missed calls and multiple angry texts from his parents.
I am so screwed, he thought. Maybe I should just check into a hotel for the night.
Jerry’s head poked over Tony’s shoulder as he scanned the messages. “Yeow. You’re in for a whupping.”
Tony jerked his phone away, snarling. “Seriously?”
The other man retreated to his stool. “Sorry, sorry. I’m a little nosy sometimes. You want my advice, though?”
“No.”
“Go back home and have a conversation with them.”
“Yeah, because I’ve never tried that before.”
“That look on your face, right there? The one that says you’re very clearly thinking of running away from this tonight? It’s all the more reason you should do it.”
“Nothing changes!” Tony snapped. “There’s no use!”
Jerry placed his hands on his hips, quite like a father losing patience. “Then cut—the—ties.”
Tony was horrified. “I can’t do that. It would break their hearts. Or they’ll be in a rage for who knows how long.”
“So what? They’ve been treating you like crap from the sounds of it. You’ve already got a wonderful support system at Quest Defense, and this is for your own sanity. This whole thing with your parents? It isn’t healthy.”
Tony stared at the man blankly as thoughts spun like a tornado in his head. Should I actually do this? He’s right, it isn’t healthy. But why the hell would I take advice from someone I’ve just met?
“You got a ride home?” Jerry asked, getting to his feet.
“My car’s parked out back, but I’m taking a cab. Safety first and all that.”
“I’ll drive you.” Jerry grabbed Tony’s arm again and dragged him toward the exit.
Tony stumbled over his feet as he grappled with his suit jacket. “Whoa, hey, wait! I’m not—”
“Look, friend, if I don’t drop you off, I’m pretty sure you’ll just bolt from your family and lay low.”
“And why do you care?”
They stepped out into the warm summer night and Jerry heaved a long breath, letting go of the younger man. “Because your story hits close to home. My parents were unreasonably demanding and refused to support my dreams, too. I cut ties with them when I was younger. Then I got picked up by the company I work for now and, like you, rose through the ranks. I earned my place by myself. Years later, I decided to reach out to my parents after I’d found out who I am so that they could no longer sway me back to my old self. And you know how things are between us now?”
Tony shook his head.
“Our relationship is better than it’s ever been. I used to hate my parents. Now I love them. I’m not saying your path will be the same as mine, but making a clean break is a decent way to at least stake your claim in this world and properly flourish to your full potential. That at least is something worth fighting for, no?”
Tony tipped his head back and gazed up at the dark sky. He would love nothing more than to shrug off the burden and guilt of disappointing his family, but having the courage to do it was another thing altogether.
“I’ll talk to them,” he said hoarsely, “but I won’t be able to leave this behind me.”
Jerry patted his back. “It’s a start. Come on.”
They slid into a sleek black Jaguar and roared onto the highway toward the Cross estate. Tony grunted and held onto his seatbelt tightly. “I love fast cars as much as the next guy, but unlike you I’ve had more than one drink tonight.”
Jerry pulled a face in apology and eased off the accelerator. “Sorry about that. This car tends to demand speed.”
“I know. I used to have a slightly older model when I lived with my parents.” Tony took a few deep breaths to get rid of the nausea creeping up his throat. “So, uh, what company did you say you were from again?”
“I didn’t. But I’m from Phoenix Corporation.”
The nausea came to a sudden halt. Tony blinked. “Wait. That’s…”
“The parent company of the subsidiary you work for, yes.” Jerry glanced over and beamed. “What are the odds, huh?”
Tony glared at him, suspicion sending tingles into his hands and feet. “What are you playing at, Mr. Li?”
“Nothing at all, Mr. Cross. I was curious after your rant at the gala and left shortly after you did to speak with you. It seems like we are the only ones from that room who share the same sentiments on human greed and corruption. I particularly liked the part where you called everyone there ‘husks filled with filth that spew their rot on everything they touch.’ Very poetic.”
“I’m surprised. All the others seemed deaf to what I had to say.”
“What did you expect, spouting the truth to a group like that? But it doesn’t matter, because you are absolutely right. These people don’t care that they’re hurting others and the environment when they extend their crooked reach. They need to be put in their place.”
“But talk can only do so much,” Tony muttered. “And greed isn’t a disease only the west is affected by. I remember going on a business trip to Africa and Asia with my dad—it was two separate outings—and feeling revolted at the amount of shady things going on, from slave work to corrupt dealings. It’s crazy what people will do for money and power. This whole world is sick.”
“Quite,” Jerry agreed. “There are those who are genuinely fighting the good fight, though.”
“Not enough. Someone needs to shake society by the shoulders and scream at them until they snap out of their self-indulgent ways.”
Jerry looked at To
ny thoughtfully but said nothing. They drove in peace for the next little while until they approached the massive wrought-iron gate of the Cross estate. Tony swallowed at the sight of the towering stone manor beyond the entryway.
“You okay?” Jerry asked.
“Yeah.”
“You’ve got this. And listen, if you ever want to speak with me again, here’s my card. I could line up new opportunities for you if you want to expand your horizons with the organization.”
Tony took the shiny card and pocketed it. “Thanks. And I appreciate… I appreciate you taking the time to listen and drive me home.”
“No worries. Good luck, Tony.”
Tony stepped out the car and punched in the code by the gate. The entrance opened for him and he shuffled through, dragging his feet. As he neared the stairs to the manor, the front door opened and the family’s butler welcomed him. “Good evening, Sir.”
“Hey, Geoffrey,” Tony greeted. “Think it’s a little past evening. Mom and Dad home?”
The butler gave a sympathetic little wrinkle of the nose. “Yes.”
“I bet they’re livid, huh?”
“I suppose you could call it that.”
Tony’s shoulders fell. “Oh, jeez. They’ve been taking it out on you, haven’t they?”
The old man clasped Tony’s shoulders warmly and straightened them. “My boy, I will gladly take all the heat so you do not have to.” He lowered his voice. “The only reason I have stuck around this long is because of you. If you decide to leave for good, I will tender my resignation.”
Overwhelming gratitude nearly forced Tony’s knees to give way. Though he knew it wasn’t proper, he pulled the butler into a big hug, hoping to convey his love for the man who’d helped raise him.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been around all these years.”
A shrill voice ricocheted against the walls. “Anthony Evander Cross!”
Tony hastily moved away from the butler and turned to face the opulent marble staircase that curved toward him. “Mom.”
A blonde woman with her hair in a high bun and a glittering pencil dress swept down the stairs, heels clicking loudly. Her stern face refused to betray her age save for some fine lines around her eyes. A man still in a full tuxedo followed her, his back ramrod straight and his graying hair parted to the side. The lines on his face were more prominent than the woman’s, like the fire in his green eyes as he beheld Tony by the front door.
“Thank you for letting him in, Geoffrey,” Tony’s mother said, tone stilted. “Feel free to take your leave now.”
The butler bowed, casting a worried look at Tony, and retreated to another room. Tony watched him go like he’d just lost his one and only lifeline.
Silas and Felicity Cross stared down at their son, disappointment scrawled in the downward curve of their mouths and eyebrows. All three stood rigid, neither party saying a word until Silas tiredly rubbed a hand over his eyes.
“What’s gotten into you tonight, Anthony?” he asked. “You embarrassed us at the gala—and this isn’t the first time you’ve pulled this stunt—then you turned off your phone so we had no way of knowing if you were okay.”
“I just couldn’t deal with the pretentiousness of the whole thing,” Tony answered. “I was at a bar. Needed to clear my head.”
“Yes, because alcohol does wonders for giving clarity,” Silas said drily.
“Actually, this time, it did.”
Felicity narrowed her eyes. “And what does that mean?”
Tony removed his suit jacket and tossed it onto a small table nearby, then kicked off his dress shoes. “I got to work out some of my thoughts. I was able to talk to someone who listened instead of shutting me down or telling me my opinions and feelings aren’t valid.”
“We don’t—”
“Yeah, you do, Mom. Every time. That’s all it ever was growing up with the both of you. I needed to act and feel the way you wanted. I never got to grow into an individual, just a carbon amalgamation of you two.”
“Watch your tongue,” Silas warned.
Tony ignored him. “I did everything you asked. Everything. But it was never enough for you. I put my blood, sweat and tears into being the best I could be, to be worthy of our family name. You know I don’t even once remember hearing you say you were proud of me? All you ever did was point out my flaws and my weaknesses. Every shortcoming got its own lecture.”
“We did what we had to,” Felicity insisted. “You have an incredible amount of potential. If we don’t push you, who will?”
Tony’s fingers dug into his slacks and the skin beneath. “A kid should be allowed to be a kid! A kid should hear more often that his parents love him and that they’re proud of his accomplishments instead of being forced to sit through two hours of complaints about how he fails at what he’s only just learning!”
“Where is this coming from?” Silas asked, exhaustion returning to his demeanor. “It sounds like you’re an adult who’s drank a bit too much and remembered only the negative experiences of his childhood and refuses to let it go.”
“Are you kidding me?” Tony hissed. “I’ve been carrying this pain for years and when I decide to tell you about it, you dismiss me! Again! Like I’m nothing to you if I don’t act and think the way you want me to!”
Felicity lifted her chin. “So is this so-called pain to blame for your actions when you were sober at the gala this evening?”
Tony shut his mouth, teeth clicking. His mother cocked a brow when he didn’t speak. “Well?”
“No,” Tony ground out. “That little rant was me expressing my opinions about everyone’s selfishness and disregard for the greater good.”
“You humiliated us, Anthony!”
“So you don’t agree? You don’t think your empire was built by hollowing out the human spirit and desecrating the planet?”
“That’s not true!” Silas threw his hands up. “We do what we do to maintain our financial security and the security of the thousands who work for us! This is life, son. There are winners and there are losers, and this family, our enterprises and our stakeholders can’t afford to be losers!”
“Why do you always act as though this is the first time you’re bringing this nonsense up?” Felicity demanded. “You say you’ve never gotten to express your opinions and emotions, but you have. Over and over.”
Tony turned his glare to her. “But I’m shut down quickly when I do.”
“Oh, so we need to agree with everything you espouse and feel? How unbelievably entitled. Where did we go wrong, Silas? He’s twenty-three and still thinks like a teenager.”
Tony leaned against the door behind him, suddenly feeling drained. His parents continued talking but their voices faded into a distant, grating drone. I’m never going to get through to them, he thought. Fine, maybe I’m handling this wrong, but what am I supposed to do? They’re so bullheaded, nothing I say or do will change it. I can’t keep pounding on this brick wall. It’s already done enough damage.
“You know what,” he murmured, sinking to the polished floor, “I’m done.”
His parents’ conversation ceased. “What?” Felicity asked carefully.
“I’m done,” Tony repeated. “I can’t take this constant back-and-forth anymore. I can’t handle dealing with parents who just… refuse to let me be who I want to be. Who refuse to let me grow and look for answers myself, and instead desperately try to mold me into the next generation of them.”
“Excuse me?” Silas took a step closer, his shadow eclipsing his son. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
Tony looked up at him, heart sitting heavily in his chest. “It means being around you feeds into the pain and rage that’s been festering inside me for as long as I can remember. I don’t want to drown in your darkness anymore. I’m disowning myself from this family so I can find out where I’m really needed, where I can make a difference.”
The silence that follo
wed his words chilled him as though ice had been infused into his very bones. Unnamable emotions thickened the air around the family, making it hard to breathe. By the stairs, the ticking of the old grandfather clock echoed along with the stillness that stretched for what seemed like hours.
“How dare you,” Felicity whispered. Her eyes were red-rimmed and glistening with unshed tears. “How dare you.”
Tony focused on his hands as they rested in his lap. “I’m sorry. But for my sake, I have to do this.”
His parents watched mutely as he slowly got to his feet and retrieved his shoes and jacket. “Geoffrey,” he called.
The butler appeared seconds later, prim and proper with his gloved hands clasped behind him. “Yes, Sir?”
Though his bottom lip quivered, Tony faced the man with a huge smile. “You will not be seeing me in this house again.”
Understanding lighted the butler’s countenance. Tony continued. “I would like to thank you for your years of dedicated service; we really don’t deserve it. And thank you for always being there for me. You’ve been my beacon for so long, I’m not sure where the road will take me from here. But I wanted you to hear this personally from me.”
Geoffrey gazed upon him fondly. “Thank you, Sir. This road will lead you to become a beacon for others. I know you will accomplish great and wondrous things. You will go far, my boy. I know this with certainty.”
They shared one last smile. As Tony reached for the doorknob, his father raised his voice. “You walk out that door, Anthony—don’t you ever come back.”
Tony paused. Then he opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it shut behind him.
* * *
The gravity of what he’d done hit him full force at nine o’clock the next morning while he groggily ate his waffles at a diner. Panic soon followed, leaving him hunched over his breakfast with his head in his hands as he stared wide-eyed at the syrup dripping onto his plate.
What have I done. What have I done. Holy crap, Tony, what did you do?!
The woman who’d taken his order passed by his table. “Hon, you okay? You’re lookin’ kinda out of it.”
“I’m fine,” he said, voice cracking. “Just fine. Thanks, Delilah.”