by Karen Moehr
Ali felt a pang. No, she thought immediately, but then wondered why. They were just buddies. Josie could date him. She was cute and single and Ben was good-looking and a great catch.
“I’m just kidding,” said Josie.
“No, it’s fine,” said Ali. “I guess I could set you guys up.”
“No, Ali, I’m kidding…would you really?”
“Yeah, sure, why not?” said Ali. She didn’t have feelings for Ben. Anything she was feeling was just happiness to have him back as a friend, right?
“OMG, that’s is so cool of you. You’d really do that? He’s a hunk.” Josie had seen pictures of the infamous Ben in Ali’s photo book. If he still looked that good, she was in.
“I’ll give him a call,” said Ali.
“OK,” said Josie giggling. “Send him my picture. The one of me on the beach. That’s a good one.”
“OK, OK,” said Ali. “I’ll take care of it and let you know.”
“Put in a good word for me,” said Josie.
“Don’t worry. It’s as good as done.”
***
“Dude, how’d it go?” Dirk gulped his beer.
“Good, good,” said Ben.
“Good? Details, man, details.”
“Well, she’s working doing what she loves, she’s going to go to culinary school and she seems happy.”
“Dude, that’s not what I care about. How does she look? Still gorgeous?”
Ben laughed. “Yeah, still gorgeous.”
“Cool, man. So are you going out again?”
“We’re not dating, Dirk. I told you that. We’re just friends.”
“Uh-huh,” said Dirk unconvinced.
“She’s still cool, though. Still a very cool girl.”
Dirk smiled at him. “Those are hard to come by.”
Ben drank his beer thoughtfully. “That is true,” he agreed.
“So, what now?” asked Dirk.
“Well, she called and wants me to go out with a friend of hers.”
“What?”
“Yeah, it’s kind of odd, but I guess her friend is cute and fun and she just figured it would be a great fit.”
“That is weird, dude. She actually set you up with someone else?”
“Yeah. We’re going out this weekend.”
“You’re doing it?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Because honestly, since I’ve known you it’s been Ali this and Ali that and now that she’s back in your life, you’re going out with someone else?”
“I don’t talk about her that much.”
“Dude…seriously? Every story you tell with a girl in it seems to be from years ago and her name is always Ali …”
“Really? I do that? Nah…”
“Yeah, you do.” Dirk looked at him. “Why don’t you just admit it? You love her. You always have.”
“Because I do love her…as a friend. She knows it; I know it. That’s it.”
“OK, tell yourself that if you must, but don’t go getting involved with someone else with kind of feelings.”
“Wow, Dirk, I’ve never known you to be so Oprah-esque,” laughed Ben. “I can’t believe you, of all people, are giving me relationship advice.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Dirk pretended to act hut.
“Because you usually go out with a girl a maximum of four times and then end up bored. You’re not exactly “the relationship” king,” said Ben forming his fingers into air quotes.
“Well, maybe not, but I know love when I see it,” said Dirk. “I just don’t see it in my life,” he laughed.
“Well, truth be told, I’m not exactly looking forward to this date this weekend. I’m doing it to please Ali.”
“I get it,” said Dirk. “That makes sense. Plus, you never know, she might be really hot.”
“Ali said she was “cute,” so you know that could mean anything.”
Dirk grimaced. “Cute,” huh? Hmm…
“Yeah,” said Ben following the train of thought.
They drank their beer and pondered the word cute as it applied to a girl. They both knew it was a crap shoot.
***
Ali carefully pulled the soufflé out of the hot oven. The smell of warm cheese and green onion was intense. She watched it as it settled, but didn’t deflate. She gave a kiss to the heavens. “Thank you, God,” she said looking up and smiling. She had said a silent prayer to help her soufflé as she slid into the oven. She hated to waste prayers on something so trivial, but it meant a lot to her and God would know that.
She looked around. The table was set, candles lit, bread in the basket, salads made and wine breathing. What else?
She realized she had her favorite apron on. It was a retro 1950s housewife style apron she’d gotten as a gift a couple of years ago. It made her feel like Lucy Ricardo and homey.
Hmm, she frowned. Candles? Should we have candles? Ben was coming for dinner and she realized candles might seem too romantic. She debated and decided to nix them. She blew them out and as she did, the doorbell rang.
Shoot! He was early. She removed the tapers from the table and put them on a side table waving the air to dissipate the smoke from blowing them out.
She answered the door removing her apron and stuffing it behind a closet door.
Ben stood holding a bottle of wine.
“I brought red,” he said hopefully.
“Awesome,” she said. She had opened a bottle of the same.
“Ooh, smells good in here…as usual,” he said.
“Cheese soufflé,” she announced.
“Wow, fancy,” he said. “To what do I deserve this honor?”
“Actually, I’m testing the recipe for a job I have next week,” she admitted.
“Oh, I’m the guinea pig, huh?”
“I guess,” she smiled.
“I’m happy to be of service,” he joked with a mock bow to her.
She handed him a glass of wine and waved him over to the living room to sit. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said curling up in a stuffed chair tucking her bare feet under her.
He relaxed into the sofa. “Comfy,” he said drinking his wine.
“So…I talked to Josie this morning, said Ali. She had a great time.”
Ben shifted uncomfortably. Josie had been a nice girl and she was really attractive as Ali had said, but he just didn’t feel the spark. How could he tell Ali?
“Yeah, she’s a really sweet girl…” he started.
“But you’re just not feeling it, huh?” smiled Ali.
Ben bit his lip. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Every time you went out with someone you didn’t really like you called her a “really sweet girl,” said Ali winking at him. “I get it.”
“Is that OK? I mean she’s super, but not really for me.”
“No problem. I’ll take care of it.”
“Really? I hate to do that to you…”
“No problem, Ben. She thought you were pretty great, but she’s a big girl. She’ll be OK.”
“Oh, I’m sure she will. I just mean I hate to put you in the position, but I really kind of just went out with her ‘cause you asked me to” he said.
“I know, I shouldn’t have put you in that spot. It’s just that she always seems to date these losers and you’re such a nice guy.”
“Nice guy, Ben, huh?”
“Well, you are! Every girl deserves to go out with a super handsome nice guy now and then.”
He laughed. “Super handsome, huh?”
“Oh, you know you are,” she chided.
“Well, if I’m so handsome and nice, why am I still single?” he asked.
“Because you want to be,” she said.
“Hmm, maybe,” he agreed. Work was only partially an excuse to keep him from dating more. He just didn’t seem to ever find a girl he really connected with…someone he could really talk to. He dated now and then and enjoyed the company over a nice dinner, but beyond a few dates he cou
ld never really find one he wanted to really get close to.
“You’ll be single until you decide not to be”, said Ali in a matter-of fact tone.
“Are you single ‘cause you want to be?” he asked.
“Yes, right now I am. I want to get my career going and get myself together first. It took a few extra years after my dad’s accident, but now I’m on the right track.”
“How is your Dad?” he asked. “I kind of kept up with things through the grapevine since my mom is friends with your cousin, but that was a while ago. How is he now?”
“He’s doing fine,” said Ali smiling. “He’s almost fully recovered and just uses a cane to walk sometimes. It’s pretty miraculous, really.”
“That’s great. Last time I’d heard he was in a wheelchair, but was walking more and more.”
“Yeah, he’s worked really hard. The accident tore his legs up but he’s persevered. Well, you know my dad. He’s stubborn.”
“Yeah, like someone else I know,” he joked.
She made a face at him and laughed. “I guess I am just like him,” she admitted. “So, hungry?” She stood up.
“You bet. That soufflé sounds not only fancy, but delicious.”
They sat and ate and drank wine and talked for hours. It was like old times and they realized they liked the same current movies and TV shows, had a distrust of the current local political figures, a fondness for the new Irish pub in town and a wariness of social media.
It was the first night Ali really felt comfortable around Ben. After all the years and the disagreements, they were really back right where they’d left off. She felt the same love for him she had all those years ago.
Leaving Ali’s apartment Ben had given her a kiss on the cheek and a long hug. It had felt good. Right. He thought about it all the next day. He’d thought about his dates before and even what he thought at the time might have been love, but now he knew it wasn’t. It was never like this. He felt for Ali a feeling so strong it scared him.
CHAPTER 5
“I love when you have to bake birthday cakes,” said Josie licking a large dollop of vanilla buttercream off a spoon.
“Yeah, you have a really tough job of spoon-licker, don’t you?” joked Ali. She swirled the top of the last cake in a series of four and stood back to admire her work. The cakes were lined up on the kitchen counter and looked nearly identical.
“So, they want all vanilla cakes?” asked Josie.
“Yeah, she said her son hates chocolate. Isn’t that weird?”
“No, my sister doesn’t like chocolate,” said Josie using her finger to swipe a bit of frosting from the bowl.
“Hmm, I never knew anyone who didn’t like chocolate,” said Ali. “I guess it takes all kinds, right?”
“So speaking of Ben,” Josie winked at Ali making an obvious conversion to a topic she wanted to discuss, “When are you guys going to just call it what it is…a love affair?”
Ali frowned at Josie. “It’s not a love affair!” she protested. “It’s just so nice to…well, to see him and have him as a friend again. I really missed him and I didn’t even know how much until he popped back up again.”
“Hmm, right,” said Josie unconvinced.
“I know you cannot believe a man and woman can just be friends. It seems no one can, but it’s true. Ben doesn’t think of me that way.”
“Are you sure?” Josie’s date with Ben had been nice, but she knew she didn’t have a chance since most of the night was spent talking about Ali. She had been disappointed because Ben was every bit as handsome as his photo and real charmer, but she knew a guy that was taken when she saw one. The only problem was, Ben didn’t know he was taken.
“Yes, I’m sure,” said Ali, but she knew as she said it that she wasn’t. She thought she knew it for sure, but did she?
“So, what time do you need me here in the morning to help you deliver these cakes?” asked Josie. She was usually on-call for large cake deliveries since she drove an SUV and Ali’s small compact was not appropriate. Her vehicle was the unofficial cake delivery van.
“Oh, never mind. Ben’s going to help me tomorrow,” said Ali.
Josie just smiled at her. “So I guess I get all the perks of your taste-tester without any of work of a delivery driver? Sweet!”
Ali laughed. “You’re off the hook this time,” she said. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”
Something tells me it’s going to last a long time, thought Josie, but she didn’t dare say it out loud.
***
“So, how’d you get into baking birthday cakes?” asked Ben as he carefully drove his luxury SUV to the delivery address.
Ali was sitting in the passenger seat nervously eyeing the cakes in the backseat. They were each boxed in a pink cake box and sitting in a row with a box on each end, keeping them from moving.
“Oh, well I do personal chef cooking for people now and then and just started baking cakes for special orders. Once word got around, I guess people liked them and I have a nice little side business doing it now.”
“So, do you want to be a chef or a pastry chef?” asked Ben. He’d seen some of the cooking shows and knew there was a difference.
“You know I’ve asked myself that several times since getting the certificate for culinary school from my aunt. I thought I wanted to be a chef, but you know, I’ve really enjoyed baking and trying new recipes for sweets. I’m starting to get the itch to explore the world of a pastry chef.”
“Well, can you do both?”
“Actually, I it’s best to really concentrate on one or the other, but I would like to take both programs eventually. That’s my plan, anyway.”
“I’m so proud of you doing what you love,” said Ben and was immediately unhappy that he said it. It had been, after all, the thing that had driven a wedge between them.
Ali tried not to get snarky and just simply said, “Yeah, it’s good.”
They rode the rest of the way talking about nothing in particular, each aware of the tension that arose when Ben had made that comment about work. Ali wanted to talk about it, to finally get it all out and clear the air, but she was too afraid that the topic was a hotbed and she tried to steer clear of it anytime it came up.
***
Tess gave a loud sigh and started to cry. The merger had gone through and people were getting called into offices to get the bad news. Tess had just been given her walking papers and she ran to Ben’s office to tell him.
“So that’s it. I’m out,” she said.
Ben reached behind to offer her a box of tissue from his credenza. “Are you serious?” was all he could say. “They haven’t even talked to me yet,” he said. He was suddenly worried that maybe his comfortable stance about his job was ill-found. Maybe he would be chopped, too?
Just as he had this thought his phone rang. He was being summoned to the 25th floor. The executive offices. It was time to find out what this merger business was all about and where it might land him. He assured her he’d put in a good word and even demand she be kept on if he was. She watched him button his suit coat and walked to the elevator, hoping he made good on his word.
As he rode the elevator up he had a flood of emotions. He’d been a star at this firm for the last two years. How dare they let him go! But just as quickly he realized he almost hoped they would. It would keep him from making the decision and it would release him from guilt.
He walked into the darkly paneled offices and stopped in the foyer. This floor was nothing like the one he worked on. It was like the suite in a luxury hotel. It had fresh-cut flowers and lower lighting. The furniture wasn’t the standard office-style furniture as on his floor; it was plush and expensive-looking.
“Please have a seat over there,” said the mature receptionist. She was impeccably coifed and dressed in a navy suit. Her desk was clear of clutter which was a marked difference from the secretaries and assistants on his floor where paperwork, files and computers covered every desk.
As he s
at in dark leather club chair, he realized it seemed cooler up here. It was like a departure from work at all. A bar with cut crystal glasses, bottled water and ice bucket was in one corner. It held a bowl of perfectly shaped fresh fruits. This was a different world indeed.