by Karen Moehr
“I put you on it ‘because you’re good at what you do and I figured you’d take care of it once and for all. That and you’d be good on TV.”
Ben’s jaw dropped slightly. So, more trained pony work, thought Ben. Let me dance for you. He felt deflated. “OK,” he said slowly. I understand. But he didn’t. He knew the firm needed to make money and take retainers from deep-pocketed clients, but these cases are the ones that really meant something. He thought of his friend Jason and the work he was doing and suddenly felt like an idiot for not making different choices.
“So, you’ll finish up on the Rutfield case and get back to your clients. Sound good?”
“Uh, sure,” mumbled Ben as he left the plush office. His foray into meaningful law was about to come to an end and he couldn’t be more depressed.
***
“You’ll never guess, Ben. You’ll just never guess!” Ali was excited and talking fast.
“OK, I won’t guess,” teased Ben.
“Oh, Ben, guess what?”
“OK, I will guess…you won the lottery?”
“No, silly!” She was breathless. “Guess who just called me and offered me a part-time job? You’ll never guess.”
Ben laughed. “OK, OK…um…”
“The Golden Palm!”
Ben blinked. The Golden Palm was the restaurant where he had taken Ali to celebrate his court case win. It was arguably one of the best in the city. “The Golden Palm? The Golden Palm Golden Palm?”
“Yes, the one we went to, the amazing one with that terrific food. Can you believe it?”
“They called you and offered you a job? Working in the kitchen?”
“Baking!” said Ali. “Working as an apprentice Pastry Chef! Can you even believe it?”
Ben was speechless. “No, he couldn’t believe it. How…?”
Ali started ticking off the chain of events. “They had a representative at the baking competition, tasted my cake, actually thought it should have won and were looking for an apprentice for their pastry kitchen and they want me!” She was out of breath.
“Oh my gosh, that is amazing! Wow!” Ben took a moment to let it sink in. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance.
“I told them I had no real culinary experience, that I was a personal chef and baked cakes here and there and was planning to go to culinary school…and guess what?”
“What?”
“They said that if everything went well, after I worked for six months they would pay for my training and have a job for me when I graduated. Can you believe it?”
Ben laughed. He was being asked to believe quite a lot in the last few moments. It was unreal, he thought. It was like a fairytale where everything just suddenly falls into place. He was dumbfounded.
“I honestly don’t know what to say,” he finally stumbled. “I can’t believe it. It’s like your dream is coming true…and all for a second place cake,” he teased.
Ali laughed. “Yeah, I was so bummed I didn’t win, but honestly this is better. Don’t you think?”
“Uh, yeah!” said Ben. He was caught up in her excitement. After his deflating talk with his own boss he was glad to hear some inspiring news.
“So, are you going to take it?”
“Heck, yeah!” said Ali. “Of course. I couldn’t be happier. It’s like, one of the best restaurants in the city…probably even the country. The chance to learn under a Master Pastry Chef and get my school paid for…” she trailed off. She couldn’t believe her fortune. After so many false starts, here was an amazing opportunity handed right to her. And it all started because of that competition… “Oh,” she exclaimed. “I’ve to call Toni and my Dad…”
“How is your Dad?” he asked hating to break the upbeat moment.
“He’s good,” said Ali. “Well, as good as can be expected. His surgery is Thursday so Toni and I are going to be at the hospital all day.”
“Well, my prayers are with him. I’m sure everything will be just fine,” said Ben. It was what you said in those times and he meant every word of it.
“Thanks,” said Ali. Could she love this guy anymore? The problem was, it was one-sided. She’d been careful to keep it just-friends as it was obviously what she and Ben would always be, but right now she wanted to tell him how much she loved him and needed him in her life.
Instead, she just said, “OK, well I had to call my sous-chef first! After all, it was a joint-effort.”
Ben chuckled. “No, Ali, it was all you. You have the magic.” He wished he could be with her now to give her a big hug and kiss and twirl her around the room. He longed to see her, but her life was busy right now and he respected that. After all, they were just friends, weren’t they?
It was a question Ben tossed back and forth in his mind more and more often. He knew how he felt, but kept it to himself. Ali didn’t need to be burdened with his feelings right now. She had enough distractions in her life.
***
“So, no more landlords to slay?” asked Tess as she entered Ben’s office. He had just come from court and another win on his latest pro-bono case.
“Guess not,” he said and slouched in his chair. He loosened his new tie and leaned back and looked at the ceiling. He’d been successful in getting Tess’ job back for her and she had been grateful, buying him a gorgeous silk tie in appreciation. She admired it on him now. Whoever gets him will be a lucky girl, she thought.
“Here’s your next case,” said Tess frowning and depositing a new stack of files on his desk. “Looks like you’re back in corporate world. I’m going to miss the work we’ve been doing the last month or so.”
He was not looking forward to looking at the files. Some rich corporation suing another rich corporation and fighting over millions. Who cares?
“Yeah, me too,” said Ben wearily. He wanted to take off running and never look back. He didn’t think he could go back to the work he was doing before.
“Well, I ordered some lunch. Sushi,” she said brightly. She could see he was tired and thought his favorite lunch would cheer him up.
Ben smiled at her. “Thanks. Sounds good.” Tess was a great assistant and he was thrilled they kept her on. She always seemed to know what he needed before he needed it. He was hungry.
“Tess, you’re awesome,” he said.
“I know,” she said as she walked out of his office.
***
Ali and Toni sat in the sterile hospital waiting room. They took turns pacing, flipping through old magazines, taking water, coffee and food breaks and generally just tapping their toes nervously waiting for news on Ali’s Dad. He’d been in surgery for three hours and so far they heard nothing.
“I wish they’d just give us some sort of update,” said Ali watching the clock.
“Don’t worry, honey, he’s in good hands,” said Toni feeling just as nervous as Ali but hoping to be the strong one.
“I hope so,” said Ali. She had already read every magazine and drank more than her share of coffee. It was horrible just waiting.
“Patience is a virtue,” said Toni winking at her.
“I guess I’m not very virtuous,” said Ali mustering a half smile.
“Why don’t you take a walk outside, Al? I will call you if I hear something.”
Ali would love some fresh air. It was a brilliant summer day without a cloud in the sky. Maybe she would.
As she walked around the small courtyard the hospital kept for waiting visitors and patients who needed exercise after surgery, she watched the various people. Some walked slowly with a hospital-gown clad patient dragging along a portable IV drip machine. Others just walked, spoke on their cell phones or sat on Benches listening to the soft water noises from the fountain in the center of the courtyard.
Ali took a seat on a Bench near a lush bush of green leaves and bright red flowers. She felt a little better just being outside. It wasn’t but a few minutes when her phone rang. News of her father.
“Hey, Al, how’s your Dad. Any news?” asked B
en. He had wanted to come to the hospital, but Ali had declined his offer. Today she just wanted to concentrate on her Dad and lately Ben left her feeling confused and distracted.
“No, they are still in surgery,” she said. She was really glad to talk to him. Suddenly she felt tears come to her eyes. She’s tried to be strong all day with Toni, but now, talking to Ben, she felt a rush of emotion.
“Oh, Ben, what if something’s wrong?”
“Don’t worry, Ali, I’m sure it’s fine. When my mom had surgery a few years ago we waited like five or six hours before we heard anything. Just try to be patient.”
“That word again,” thought Ali. Patient. She knew it was not a strong characteristic she carried and it irritated her how everyone suddenly required it of her.
“Yeah, that’s what Toni says,” said Ali frowning. “I’m doing my best.”
“Yeah”, chuckled Ben. “I don’t remember you as a particularly patient person.”
Ali wanted to change the subject. “So how’s your day going?”
“Uh, it’s fine, I guess. I’ve spent the better part of the day in court and now I’m just about to head home and I wanted to see if you’d like me to stop by the hospital and wait with you?”
Ben, sweet Ben. She did want to see him, but wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. “Nah, it’s OK,” she said. “I’m sure we’ll be hearing something soon and you’ve had a long day. You should just go home.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind…”
“No, thanks, though. I appreciate the offer. I’ll call you later, OK?”
She hung up and immediately second-guessed her decision. A hug in his strong arms would really help right about now. She walked back to the waiting room with resolve to be more patient.
“Why didn’t you want him to come, honey?” asked Toni when Ali told her about Ben’s call.
“Oh, I don’t know. I think this should just be family, I guess.”
“Ben practically is family, Ali. I know you haven’t seen each other in a while, but I remember he was a permanent fixture around the dining table when you were a kid. He ate with us, what? Three times a week?”
Ali smiled at the memory. Ben was always around. His parents worked a lot as a kid. His mom was a nurse and often worked swing shifts. His dad spent late hours at his law firm and Ben, an only child, often ate alone or at Ali’s house.
“That’s funny. I hadn’t thought about that for a long time,” she said. She remembered one night when her Dad had gone to bed early. She and Ben had stayed up watching a movie. She had fallen asleep with her head of his shoulder and when she woke up just after the movie ended, they had kissed. It was the one time it ever happened and it was awkward, like kissing her brother. They both agreed it was a silly mistake and they’d forget about and never talk about it.
Toni watched Ali. She had seen her niece with Ben in her younger teen years and wondered why they never dated. Ali had explained they were just friends, but what about now? Surely there were some feelings between them that extended past friendship?
“Why didn’t you two ever end up as a couple?” asked Toni.
Ali abruptly shook out of her moment walking down memory lane. “You know why, Toni. We’ve always been friends. It was just…weird.”
“Well, maybe back then, but what about now? I see how you two look at each other when the other one isn’t looking,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, quit it, Ali. You know what I mean. You both have feelings for each other. It’s as plain as the nose on my face.”
“Really?” Did Ben really look at her that way?
“Yes, really. Don’t you?”
“Well, I…” Could she admit her feelings about Ben out loud? Could she tell Toni? She hadn’t said it out loud to anyone, but was it that obvious?
She continued. “I guess I do. I really think I do.” She looked at Toni and her aunt could see the fear in her beautiful niece’s eyes.
Toni hugged her. “Oh, honey, don’t worry. Don’t be afraid of love. Ben loves you. I know he does. Everyone knows it. You just have to be honest with yourself and admit how you feel. You both do.”
Ali was happy and scared at the same time. It felt good to admit it. It also felt incredibly scary. What if she put her heart out there and got hurt?
“You aren’t dating anyone, are you?” asked Toni shuffling through her enormous bag, retrieving a lipstick and swiping it on without a mirror.
“No.”
“Is he?”
“I don’t think so. He doesn’t talk about women to me.”
Toni gave her a well-then-you-have-your-answer look. “Don’t you think you two should have a talk?”
Ali sat back on in the chair where she’d spent the better part of the day. “I guess… I don’t’ know. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I’d feel like a fool.”
“Feel him out. I’m sure he does and he’ll be relieved to get it out in the open. Then you two can get on with it and be together, get married, have a bunch of kids … like you know you want to.”
Toni definitely said what was on her mind. Ali laughed at her aunt’s candid assessment of her future. She wondered. Could it be as easy as that?
She wondered about it for the next hour until the doctor came out, gave a positive review of the surgery and informed them that her father would be groggy for the rest of the night, but they could see him for a moment.
As the staff wheeled him out of recovery and to his room, Ali grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Good job, Dad,” she said. “You’re going to be fine.”
Her Dad looked at her through glassy eyes for just a moment. He gave her the thumbs up and promptly went out again.
It was good enough for Ali. She’d prayed all day and took a moment to silently give a warm thank you to God. When the chips were down she always knew where she could turn and He was always there for her.
CHAPTER 12
Ali spent the week wrestling with insurance, the hospital and her own bank account. Her Dad’s bills were starting to roll in and she was struggling to manage it. She couldn’t imagine the amount of paperwork that went into having a medical issue. She resolved then and there to take better care of herself.
At the end of a stressful day she decided to take a hot bath. It was a nominal reward for finally getting a handle on the financial issues that took up her days. She added lots of bath gel and the bubbles started growing quickly. The white mass of fluff smelled faintly of jasmine. She lit a candle, turned on the stereo to a smooth jazz song she liked and started to undo her pink terry robe and climb in. Her phone rang.
She looked at the screen. Ben. She answered carrying the phone to the tub. She’d enjoy a long soak and a talk with her favorite person.
“Al, I’ve got a problem,” he said.
“Hi to you, too,” she joked.
“Oh, sorry, hi. I was hoping to come over and talk. I need some advice.”
“Uh, OK,” she said. She looked longingly at the tub beckoning to her. “I was just going to get in the tub.”
“Oh, sorry. Uh, how about in an hour?”
She agreed. A short bath was better than no bath. She placed her phone on the bathroom counter where she could see the time. She’d try to relax and be done and dressed before he got there.
Wondering what the problem was that he was having, she sank low in the tub and let the bubbles meet her chin. A better feeling in the world she did not know.
An hour and fifteen minutes later they sat on her living room sofa. Ben explained about his friend Jay, now going by Jason, and how they came to meet again after a few years.
Ali listened but still didn’t understand.
“Well, he’s offered me a job,” Ben finally blurted out. “In Oakland, California!”
“What?” Ali couldn’t believe her ears.
“Yeah, he works at a public service law firm and called me today and said that if I was up for it, they’d love to have me work for them. They’
ve seen the work I’ve done here and they need someone who can fight and win cases like I’ve been working on.”
“In California?”
“Yeah,” said Ben. “Can you believe it? It’s just the kind of work I was doing on these pro bono cases here. I think I’d really like it.”
Ali was stunned. Her Ben was possibly moving away. It was more than she could process.