by Renee Miller
Cadence’s eyes brightened and took a deep breath.
“Let Mommy get you changed and we’ll go see Nana and Papa, okay.”
Cadence stilled, as though she understood, and Kristina changed her quickly before calling her mother. So much for dinner. Maybe she could convince her mom to do it tomorrow instead.
***
While walking to Dirty Truths, a tiny bubble of anxiety burst in Kristina’s belly. She wondered about the man from the other night, her heart racing at the memory of his threats. But she couldn’t expect Wade to jump to her aid each time she felt threatened. She didn’t bother to tell him her father wasn’t home or he’d have come and picked her up or arranged a ride. Wade was obviously busy, or he’d have covered the shift. It made her uncomfortable knowing he changed his plans often to accommodate hers.
Keeping his word, Wade drove her home each night before he balanced the cash and did his daily paperwork. She couldn’t stand the awkward silences, but did her best to behave naturally. Now and then, Wade would stare with a strange light in his eyes that made her want to put her arms around him, forgetting everything and everyone and just losing herself in the moment. She felt the questions in his gaze, but had no answers for him. She didn’t know what to do about her feelings.
Wanting someone so desperately the thought left you breathless didn’t mean you just forgot about right and wrong. Did it? It was a question she couldn’t answer, not with any certainty. Now and then, her grandmother’s voice would echo in her mind, a voice she missed terribly. Her grandmother had been a feisty woman, outliving three husbands and, in her last years, finding the man she’d pined for since high school.
Kristina reached the end of the bridge and took a deep breath as she crossed, holding it until she stepped back into the pools of light at the end of the street. Safe once more, her thoughts went back to her grandmother.
When the family had balked at the seventy-year-old woman getting married for a fourth time, claiming he only wanted to take advantage of her, she told Kristina a wonderful story. She let the man of her dreams walk away after listening to everyone around her saying he wasn’t right, and believed them when they said passion should never overrule common sense. He was younger than her and his family had money, enough so they could send him faraway so the temptation of the pretty but poor tutor he’d fallen in love with would fade.
But it never did. Through marriages and several children he’d waited, finally meeting her again at an old friend’s funeral. Her grandmother laughed when she told Kristina he latched on, and refused to let go of her again despite the wrinkles and the age spots.
Kristina smiled at the memory of the light in her grandmother’s eyes, a light she’d never seen before. The old woman had taken her hand and squeezed it. “Life without passion isn’t life at all. You remember that. You can’t experience love as it’s meant to be without it.”
Though Kristina promised to remember her grandmother’s words, she hadn’t thought of them until now, not in terms of what they meant anyway. Instead, she’d allowed Daniel to sweep her off her feet, believing the comfortable feeling of someone wanting her would be enough.
Now, as she approached the bar and walked through the parking lot full of cars, pickups and clusters of people doing God knows what in the shadows, she felt afraid. Not of Wade, but of the situation and her feelings, neither of which she could get a handle on. Excited to come to work each night, thinking of him every minute, and dreaming at the memory of his lips against hers, wore on her fragile nerves. Tempted to just cave in and do what her heart begged her to, Kristina worried one day her feelings would overrule her common sense and she’d force him into something they’d both regret. He wouldn’t say no, she sensed he’d give her what she wanted, and she didn’t want to end up hurt. Her grandmother didn’t have to worry about that; her passion held very little risk. Aside from getting her heart broken, Kristina also feared Daniel would kill her, and possibly himself trying to get at Wade. Then Cadence would have no one.
She pushed the steel door and walked through the small hallway leading into the bar. Her eyes adjusted to the lights as the crowd inside broke into a raucous ‘Happy Birthday’. She stood in the doorway, one hand on the open door, struggling to stop herself from crying. Someone grabbed her arm, and then pulled her into the room.
“You guys,” she murmured and searched for him.
Familiar faces filled the bar. Staff, friends and the regular customers who she saw every night, smiled back at her, clapping their hands. Someone placed a drink in her hand, and Kristina sipped without a thought to what they’d given her as she stared, touched by the overwhelming love in the gesture from people she barely knew.
She didn’t have to search for Wade’s face for long. He stood next to Amy, his arm draped over her shoulders. Their eyes met, his smile faltered and he stepped forward, removing his arm from his wife.
Kristina averted her gaze.
“So? Is this worth coming into work for?” he asked when he reached her.
“Yes. Thank you.”
“You’ve earned a celebration.” Wade reached out and pulled her into a brotherly hug, releasing her at once.
“I have?”
“Of course you have, silly girl.” Amy pushed Wade out of the way and embraced Kristina, the sweet smell of Poison, a scent Amy apparently felt the need to bathe in, drifted up and invaded her senses before she stepped away.
“Thank you. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Don’t say anything, just have fun. Maybe find a nice young stud to distract you from your worries.” Amy laughed.
Kristina lifted the glass to her lips and sipped again. Long Island iced tea, a drink Sheila forced her to try about a month ago. She’d said she liked it and apparently now she’d be stuck drinking it.
Amy whispered in Wade’s ear, her hand possessively on his chest.
Kristina’s stomach tightened and looked away.
Sheila took her arm and then dragged her to the bar. “Come on, we’ve got ten more where that came from. Drink.”
Kristina did as she instructed, took a big gulp of the lemony drink, and smiled. She’d have fun if it killed her. “What else do we have? Shooters?”
“Now you’re talking.” Sheila laughed and ran behind the bar.
CHAPTER 14
Wade stared. He couldn’t help it. Kristina stood out in the crowd dancing at the front of the bar. Smiling, really smiling was so rare for her that witnessing it left him breathless, although he wished it hadn’t taken copious amounts of alcohol to put it there. He wanted to be the one, to light her face up like that, and damn if the blush in her cheeks didn’t make him want to explore, to find out how far down her body it went.
A man about Kristina’s age wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her close. She pushed him away just a little, but allowed him to dance with her. The man’s hands slipped over her ass. Bile rose in Wade’s throat. She slapped him away and wagged a finger. The jerk moved on to another girl, one who welcomed his attention, while Kristina joined her group once more. Why couldn’t she be as relaxed and sure of herself all the time? The way she cowered at each challenge frustrated him. She was better than that. Braver.
“Send her another one,” Amy said.
Wade glared.
Amy leaned on the bar, a drink in her hand and a smirk on her face. He’d been too obvious and now Amy knew more than he wanted her to. She’d been sending Kristina doubles all night.
When Wade caught on to her, he ordered Sheila to stop, no matter what Amy said. Kristina didn’t drink very often and he would not have her so wasted she couldn’t speak much less make decisions. He suspected Amy hoped Kristina would get plowed, knowing he would never take advantage of any woman while she was falling down drunk. He hadn’t planned to do anything, so Amy had wasted her time. Kristina wasn’t ready, and he didn’t know if she’d ever be. The damage Daniel had done ran deep. She had scars that would probably never heal and Wade didn’t wa
nt to add to them because he couldn’t give her all of himself. Yet. He eyed his wife. Not while Amy still breathed anyway.
“Sheila, take her another,” Amy repeated.
“No, she’s had enough,” Wade said.
Amy slammed her glass on the bar. “I didn’t know you were her daddy, although you are almost old enough to be, I suppose. Maybe that’s it, although it’s a little twisted even for you. Most daddies don’t dream about fucking their daughters, honey. Shame on you.”
“Just stop. She’s not used to this and I won’t be responsible for rushing her to the hospital when she’s had so much she ends up hurting herself.”
“Oh aren’t you Mr. Responsible?” Amy stood and picked her purse up off the bar. “I’m going home. I guess I better not wait up, eh?”
“You never do.”
Chuckling she walked away from the bar and pushed through the door.
Wade clenched his fists wishing he could wrap his hands around her bitchy little neck. She wouldn’t go home. She’d been sleeping with Carl Canon for a few months. He’d seen them together in Salach having lunch at Kelsey’s and had them followed to be sure. Carl’s wife didn’t care about her husband’s activities but she wouldn’t let him go without a fight either. Someday maybe he would get lucky, and Amy would fall in love with some other sucker. Then he could be rid of her for good. That is, if he could convince Thomas she wouldn’t open her big mouth.
Hoots of laughter and catcalls erupted from the dance floor. Wade turned to see what the commotion was all about. Sighing he shook his head. Someone had taken another round of shots up anyway.
Orgasms, wonderful.
Kristina and four other women leaned over the table, hands behind their backs to pick up shot glasses with their mouths. The lights flashed overhead, casting first a red, and then a white glow over her as she stood and tipped her head back to swallow the contents of the glass, stumbling slightly. She arched her neck and the creamy liquid seeped out the side of her mouth and trickled down her chin.
“Fuck me,” he muttered.
He glanced at the clock behind him. Still twenty minutes, but close enough. He walked to the switch next to the bathroom and flicked it a couple of times. “Last call!” he yelled amid a chorus of groans and jeers.
Wade nodded to Sheila who ran up to shut the music off while he filled the orders the crowd yelled out across the bar. He shook his head several times when they ordered drinks for Kristina and looked pointedly at Sheila when she came back to join him. “Don’t give her anymore.”
“Party pooper,” she grumbled, but did as he asked.
Slowly the crowd thinned out until only Kristina and a few stragglers sat at the front table, giggling and chattering as though they had all night to socialize.
“Come on ladies. Time to go,” Wade called.
The girls stood and staggered to the bar. A couple asked Wade to call a cab before filing out with the rest. Kristina followed but Wade pointed and Chad, the bouncer, stopped her. She stared up at him, confusion evident on her flushed face. Chad nodded to Wade and shrugged. Kristina turned, her gaze catching Wade’s and her lips curved into a slow smile.
His breath caught and he had to clear his throat before he spoke. “I’ll take you home when I’m done here.”
“You will? All the way home?” She raised an eyebrow and twirled a piece of hair around her finger.
“Sit down and behave until I’m finished.”
“I always behave.” She pouted and flounced into a nearby chair, legs stretched in front of her. She looked up, straight at him and ran her fingers over the neckline of her shirt. “But I guess I’d like you to take me… home.”
Sheila snorted.
Heat rose in Wade’s belly. Kristina sounded brave, but Wade saw the flush in her cheeks and the slight tremble in her hand. She made a shitty actress. He wondered if he shouldn’t call her bluff. God knew he wanted to.
Sheila busied herself behind the bar, glancing now and then but not speaking until they’d finished. “You want me to give her a ride?”
“No, go ahead. She’ll probably fall asleep.”
“Okay, I’m outta here.”
She waved at Kristina before exiting the bar, the door slamming into the sudden silence.
Wade looked up.
Kristina leaned on the table, her chin in her hands. She smiled. “Well? Are you ready?”
“I have to balance the cash and then we can go. You want to come in with me?”
“Sure.” Kristina stood.
She seemed less wobbly than she’d been an hour ago and Wade wondered if she was really as drunk as she led him to believe. He hoped perhaps it had been a show for everyone and she knew what she was doing. She walked through the door, pausing to smile at him. Drunk or not, Kristina knew exactly what she was doing and he was done acting like the good guy. He’d never played the part very well.
***
The clicking of the adding machine echoed in the small room. Kristina stifled a yawn and perched on the edge of Wade’s desk. She glanced down at the papers that fluttered to the floor and then back to Wade.
He scowled.
“Oops, you might want to pick those up,” she joked.
He ignored her, going back to his paperwork.
She heaved a loud sigh. Earlier, when Amy left, Kristina made a decision. It took courage to take what you wanted. Courageous is what she would be. She’d offer Wade what she could and consequences be damned. Maybe after they’d been together once or twice, she’d get over this infatuation, or maybe she’d find something worth fighting for. Of course, the alcohol had done a lot to help her decision along. Liquid courage. She giggled.
Wade paused, glanced at her and shook his head before going back to the computer, typing in the night’s totals.
While waiting for him to finish closing, her buzz had worn off. Now, although still slightly giddy, the booze haze had cleared from her brain.
She’d noticed how he watched her all night with that look on his face, the same one he’d had at her house when she’d broken the glass. Each time their eyes met, the naked hunger in his gaze made her want to climb over the bar and drag him off somewhere private. Hell, she’d have probably settled for the alley outside. This decision was inevitable. She’d lived long enough in denial and she couldn’t fight anymore. Why would any sane woman fight Wade anyway?
Leaning over the top of the computer, Kristina traced a finger across the python tattoo coiled around his right arm.
“You’re asking for trouble, little girl.” Wade pointed at her and cleared the cash off the desk.
“I like trouble.”
He paused, his eyes darkening before turning away to lock the wads of bills in the safe. “Come on. You’re drunk. I’ll take you home so you can sleep it off.”
Kristina gave an exaggerated sigh before slipping off the desk and following him to the door. “You’re boring.”
“I am?”
She leaned against the bar while he locked the door. “God, Wade. I thought you were wild, dangerous and all that stuff, but you act like my dad.”
Kristina held her breath as he walked toward her, stopping just inches from where she leaned. He frowned, trailing a finger up her arm.
She smiled, catching the twitch of his lips.
“I definitely don’t want to act like your father. Who would you like me to be?”
“You,” she whispered.
“Hmm, I’m afraid there’s a problem with that.”
Kristina’s gaze locked with his as he leaned close, placed his hands on her hips and pulled her away from the bar. “What problem?”
“If I act like me, you run away.”
“I’m not running now.”
“I’m not myself right now.”
Kristina stared at his mouth, her breath hitching in her chest at his smile.
He leaned down and brushed his mouth over hers, barely touching her lips.
She ran her hands up his arms to his shoul
ders and then around his neck, pulling his head down to hers.
“You won’t run away?” he asked against her lips.
“I’m tired of denying what I feel.”
“We can’t take this back.”
“Good.”
Wade lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her down the bar to the pool tables, his lips never leaving hers. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and she groaned as he teased her, pulling away when she met him with her own.
“I didn’t imagine it happening like this. Let’s go to your place.” He set her down in front of the table.
“Someone might see us. What’s wrong with right here?” She imagined Wade and Sheila atop the pool table and her sudden bravery faltered, her mind screaming at her to stop.
Wade frowned and tugged at the button on her jeans. “You aren’t running, are you?”
She shook her head, steeling her resolve. What he did before and with who didn’t matter. Just once, she needed to be with him and then if he never wanted her again at least she’d have this night.
“God, I’ve waited years to see you like this.” Wade lifted her shirt over her stomach, running his hands up her sides to her breasts.
Kristina helped him pull the shirt over her head and then pushed her jeans down over her hips. He caught her hands in his and placed them behind her on the table.
“What?” Suddenly she felt uncertain, shy.
“Let me,” he lifted her onto the table, the cool wood of the rail dug into her bottom and her heart skipped at the thought of what she was doing.
Almost naked in a bar, making love to a married man on a disgusting old pool table—what the hell was she thinking?
Wade knelt in front of her, pulling her jeans down and over her legs. He kissed her ankle, trailing his tongue up her calf, over the inside of her thigh before doing the same to the other leg. Kristina gasped when he dipped his head, flicking his tongue against her before looking up with a grin.
“Want to stop?”
She shook her head and arched her back when he lowered his head once more. “Never.”