by M. Sembera
Thinking for a minute, I decided to ask, “How is Emerson?”
In a very frank tone she said, “You could ask him yourself. However, I know you will not so, he is adjusting.”
Almost questioning her, I pressed, “Adjusting?”
Erin’s face grew serious as she explained, “He is unhappy but trying very hard to please his father.”
My only response was, “I’m sorry he’s unhappy.”
Changing the subject, Erin asked, “Other than all this mess, how are you and Scott doing?”
Forcing a smile, I replied, “Good.”
She smiled back patting my arm and saying, “That’s good dear.”
Sophia had fallen asleep in her swing so I picked her up and laid her in her bassinette.
Erin turned to me and said, “I am going to take a nap. Please tell Mason I am upstairs when they get back.”
Sitting back down, I replied, “Yes ma’am.”
Thinking since Erin was upstairs and Sophia was asleep I could take a little nap too. I stretched out on the couch. I was able to sleep for about two hours before Mr. Roberts, Jackson and Emerson walked in. Sitting up, I put my finger to my lips and pointed to Sophia. The three of them smiled as they entered the room.
I told Mr. Roberts, “Erin said to tell you she’s upstairs.”
He nodded and went upstairs. Jackson gave a slight head nod as he sat down on the couch, while Emerson headed upstairs also.
Staring at Jacks, I finally questioned, “Well?”
Smiling wide, he asked, “Well what?”
Tilting my head to the side, I glared at him.
Finally, he said, “Oh, Hert should be back in about a week if everything goes like we think it will.”
A bit relieved, I smiled at him saying, “Em’s mom said he’s unhappy.”
Jackson looked confused saying, “Really?”
Raising my eyebrows, I nodded.
Almost whispering, he said, “You know Ren, you should talk to him. You know it would make him feel better.”
I whispered back with a harsher tone, “I don’t care if he’s happy. I was just telling you 'cause you’re his friend and I thought you’d want to know.”
Jackson scooted a little closer saying, “Come on Ren, he’s your friend too.”
With an angry tone I whispered, “No, he used to be my friend.”
Jacks rolled his eyes at me and said, “By the way Hert said to tell you the doctor is coming here Tuesday to take your stitches out and you are not to leave the house for any reason until he gets back,” then reaching into his pocket he continued, “Oh, and I’m supposed to give you this too,” handing me a small box.
I took it from him. Opening it, I found a thin platinum band with tiny diamonds across the top. Closing the box, I set it on the coffee table and leaned back against the arm of the couch.
Shaking his head and laughing, Jackson questioned, “What not big enough?”
Giving him a spiteful glare, I snapped, “I have rings, I want my husband.”
Jackson looked sympathetic as he stated, “Sorry, I was just playin’. Know what would make you feel better? Making me some lunch.”
Starting to laugh, I replied, “Oh, really.”
Smiling wide, he confirmed, “Oh, I know it will.”
Appreciating Jackson’s attempt to cheer me up, I got up and made us both some lunch.
After lunch Erin and I played with Sophia while the men sat in the kitchen and talked. It was strange how they stayed separate from us. Thinking back to the Roberts’ visit before the wedding it was very similar. I didn’t realize it then, the only time we were all together was during meals.
Erin interrupted my train of thought, informing, “Mason and I are taking Jackson to dinner tonight.”
Smiling at her, I replied, “That’s really nice of ya’ll.”
Giving me a slight nod and smile she continued, “Emerson will stay here with you and Sophia.”
Trying my best to keep my expression pleasant, I wanted to shout ‘Why!’ at her, but I wasn’t about to get out of line.
She then asked, “Rennillia dear, can you do me a favor?”
Replying, “Yes ma’am,” I hoped I really could.
Erin lowered her voice and proceeded, “Emerson wants to spend some time with Sophia. He thinks you would prefer him not to. Do you think it would be possible for you to let him know it is alright with you?”
Sighing with relief, I stated, “I will,” happy I could accommodate her request.
Before they left for dinner Jackson sat in the living room with me waiting on everyone else to come back downstairs.
Unable to look past his forehead, I offered, “Do you want me to put something over that for you?” pointing to the stitches.
Smiling wide, he answered, “Sure.”
I smiled back and said, “Okay let me get the first aid kit.”
I walked to the downstairs bathroom grabbed the kit and went back to the couch.
Leaning close to Jackson, I gently held the gauze across his stitches with one hand and spread the tape across it with the other.
“Sit still! I’m trying not to get tape stuck to your eyebrow,” I fussed.
Visibly trying, he confessed, “Sorry, it’s kinda hard to be still with you right up on me.”
Rolling my eyes, I asked “Would you like to have only one eyebrow?” and finished taping the gauze.
Jackson leaned closer, saying, “I’d like …”
Before he could say another word, I barked, “Damn it Jacks!” pushing him back.
I got up and walked to the kitchen.
Following right behind, Jackson said, “What’s your problem?”
Quickly turning around, I yelled, “Like you don’t know!”
He yelled back, “No, I don’t know!”
Leaning against the counter, I shared, “Whether he’s here or not Hert is who I want.”
After staring at me with a puzzled look on his face, he started laughing.
“Ren, did you think I was going to kiss you?” he asked, continuing to laugh.
Shrugging my shoulders I could feel my face starting to turn red.
Placing his hand on my shoulder, Jackson explained, “I was going to say ‘I’d like both my eyebrows’,” before shaking his head at me with a huge grin and continuing to say, “It’s not like I wouldn’t but I know you don’t want that. Do you?”
Thoroughly embarrassed, I stared at the floor and replied, “I’m sorry. It’s just you said it was hard to sit still and then you leaned closer and it seemed like…I’m really sorry Jacks.”
He elbowed me, promising, “It’s all good Ren,” then proceeded to say, “I mean if you have a crush on me.”
Shaking my head, I laughed, “Oh, shut up.”
I turned to go back to the living room and saw Emerson standing there. Instantly somber at the sight of him, I cleared my throat and walked past him back to the couch just as Erin and Mr. Roberts came down the stairs.
Mr. Roberts stated, “We will be back later,” slightly smiling as Erin walked past him.
They were still so in love. Even though they were always composed and proper, the way they looked at each other was unmistakable.
After they left for dinner, I decided to make good on my promise to Erin. I picked Sophia up and walked into the kitchen with her. Emerson was sitting at the table so I pulled up a chair and sat down.
Doing my best to sound pleasant, I offered, “Em, do you want to hold Sophia?”
He looked surprised as he nodded at me.
Handing her to him, I assured, “You’re always going to be a part of her life.”
Sophia instantly smiled at him.
His eyes softened at her smile as he softly spoke, “Hi Sophia, you’re so big. I missed you.”
Watching Emerson with Sophia gave me an anxious feeling. It was actually upsetting me. I was happy to see how much he loved her but it made me sad at the same time.
Unable to handle the
situation, I asked, “Will you be okay with her if I run upstairs and change my clothes?”
With eyes fixed on Sophia he nodded.
I walked upstairs and into my room. Pulling out a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, I changed my clothes. The more I thought about the sight of them in the kitchen the more upset I got and everything seemed to weigh on me all at once. Hert was gone. I didn’t know where he was or what he was doing. Jackson could have been killed yesterday. Now I had this overwhelming urge to have Emerson back the way he used to be. Lying down on the bed, I grabbed Hert’s pillow curling up into it. Suddenly heaving and sobbing, I couldn’t cope with what was happening anymore. Swallowed up by a situation far beyond my control, I wallowed in my own suffering. I wanted to pretend everything was okay but it wasn’t. Nothing was okay and I didn’t know if it would ever be.
Eventually getting up, I washed my face and decided to go back downstairs. Walking out of my room, I saw Emerson stepping out of Sophia’s.
He whispered, “She fell asleep. Since you were up here I put her in her crib.”
Taking a step back, I leaned against the wall.
Concern spread across Emerson’s face as he asked, “Are you okay?”
Shrugging, I just shook my head.
Emerson leaned against the opposite wall insisting, “Hert’s going to take care of everything.”
Sliding down the wall, I sat on the hallway floor still shaking my head.
He stepped towards me swearing, “He will.”
Looking up at Em I asked, “Can you promise me that?”
He stared at me for a second before answering, “There is no doubt in my mind.”
Knowing he intentionally phrased his answer without a promise, I clarified, “That’s what I thought.”
Emerson let out a sigh and sat down next to me.
Pulling my knees into my chest, I rested my head on them informing, “It’s not just about Hert.”
He looked as if he was going to reach out to me then decided against it, asking, “What is it then?”
I confessed, “It is mostly Hert. Yesterday with Jackson I thought he was seriously injured. I mean he was hurt but it was really scary and I thought it was a lot worse,” pausing to make sure I really wanted to continue, I added, “And now you’re here.”
Emerson looked away, saying, “I know you don’t want me here.”
Trying to explain, I said, “It’s not that. I just don’t like you very much.”
Standing up, Emerson muttered, “Yea, I know,” and went into his room closing the door behind him.
Feeling horrible, I stood up and went to Sophia’s room. Climbing into my old bed I cried myself to sleep wishing I had been able to say what I really meant.
Chapter 14
Sophia woke early in the morning, smiling and full of sounds. I dressed her and brought her downstairs for breakfast. Jackson was asleep on the couch, as I walked into the kitchen, I saw Emerson already at the table.
Trying very hard to get a chance to explain myself to him, I greeted, “Morning.”
He just glanced up at me and then continued eating. Holding Sophia in one arm I fixed her bottle and sat down at the table. The second I did, Emerson picked up his bowl set it in the sink and left the room. I deserved that.
Erin came in shortly after, saying, “Good morning dear, I have a Society Brunch today. Is there anything you would like while I am out?”
Forcing a smile, I replied, “No ma’am.”
She chirped back, “Okay dear. Goodbye little Sophia,” lightly patting her.
Mr. Roberts and Emerson walked in behind her.
Mr. Roberts announced, “We are going to be at The Office most of the day. We will bring dinner home.”
Nodding, I said, “Yes sir.”
He turned to Emerson, stating, “Have you ever seen such a beautiful sight,” motioning to Erin, Sophia and I.
Erin smiled, chirping, “Oh, Mason.”
Emerson stood there silent as Jackson walked up patting Mr. Roberts on the back, agreeing, “I love waking up to beautiful ladies.”
Shortly after Emerson urged, “We need to go,” and the three of them left.
Jackson sat down at the table saying, “What’s for breakfast?”
I laughed, “Whatever you make.”
Looking disappointed, he replied, “Cereal it is.”
He fixed us both a bowl of cereal and teased, “Okay now Ren, I’m not coming on to you. I’m just handing you your bowl.”
Making a face, I stuck my tongue out at him.
After breakfast, I laid a blanket down on the rug in front of the couch and placed Sophia on it watching her roll over. Jacks sat down on the couch.
I had to ask, “Has anyone heard from Hert?”
He looked as if he wished he had a different answer as he replied, “No, and we won’t until he’s back.”
Disappointed, I asked, “So he’s just gone until whenever and I’m not going to know if he’s okay until he shows up one day?”
Jackson took a breath, confirming, “Pretty much but no news is good news and he should be back Wednesday.”
Taking a chance, I asked, “Please tell me what he’s doing?”
Jackson guaranteed, “He’s making sure what happened the other day, never happens again.”
Picking Sophia up, I rocked her to sleep in my arms and laid her in the bassinette.
Sitting down really close to Jackson, I confessed, “I don’t think I have ever been that scared before.”
Placing his arm around me, he professed, “I hate that he put his hands on you.”
With disbelief, I snapped, “I was talking about what happened to you.”
Jackson looked surprised as he asked, “Me?”
Confirming, “Yea, you,” I leaned my head onto his shoulder saying, “I didn’t know if you were…I mean I thought…”
He quickly turned to me stating, “Ren, come on now.”
Placing my hands on his shoulders, I said, “Jacks, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
He hugged me assuring, “Nothing’s going to happen to me,” and I hugged him back.
Slowly letting go of him a shot of guilt ran through me. Thoughts of how furious Hert would be if he knew how close I felt to Jacks right now, upset me. Taking a breath I slipped out of his arms and walked to the kitchen. It wasn’t like I wanted Jackson or that I was considering anything with him, it was more a feeling of closeness and appreciation. He saved me from HIM. From having to make the choice between breathing and telling HIM what he wanted to hear. How could I not feel this way about Jackson? Still I didn’t want to betray Hert in any way.
He walked into the kitchen looking serious. I tried to smile, but the guilt was making me feel sick. Jackson must have had the same feeling.
He started, “Umm, I don’t know what to say.”
Shaking my head at him, I said, “There’s nothing you need to say. You hugged me. It’s not a big deal.”
His voice sounded distressed as he argued, “Ordinarily, I would agree but I feel bad now and I never feel bad about anything I do.”
Fully concentrating on resolving what was sure to be a huge complication in our friendship, I replied, “Well don’t, because it was only a hug.”
Still refusing my clarification, he disagreed, “Then why do you look worried?”
My first thought was to put it off on him and how he was reading something into nothing but I couldn’t get the words out so I just stared at him.
I have never been so happy to see someone in my life as when Erin walked through the back door. Her driver was close behind carrying her bags.
She rushed right in, informing, “I bought Sophia a few things.”
Glancing at all the bags I thought ‘really, a few’.
“Oh, and a few things for you too dear,” she added walking into the living room and instructing her driver which bags to put in each room.
Briefly looking at Jacks before I joined her in the liv
ing room, I hoped he would let this go.
Erin beamed as she said, “I found the perfect dress for you; it’s the one in the box. You should wear it tonight at dinner.”
Smiling politely at her and saying thank you, I asked her to watch Sophia so I could shower and try it on.
After saying, “Oh, of course dear,” she rushed me upstairs.
Back in my room, I collected my thoughts reminding myself I had the tendency to overreact. Taking a shower made me feel better and the dress Erin picked out did too. She was right it was perfect. Turquoise and fitted at the top it lightly flowed all the way down almost brushing the floor. I picked up the box with my new ring in it and slid it onto my finger. It matched very well with my new dress. I walked back to the bathroom put my makeup on and fixed my hair. Standing in front of the mirror, I imagined Hert behind me gently kissing my shoulder, telling me how beautiful I looked. Six more days was my next thought. My husband will be home in six days, I reassured myself, before going back downstairs.
Coming down the stairs, I saw Erin holding Sophia whispering sweetly to her. Thankful Jackson was out of sight, I walked over to them.
“Erin, I was wondering if you could help me out with something.” I asked.
She looked at me questioning, “What is it dear?”
Taking a deep breath, I said, “Well, I was supposed to go see Ms. Herterand after my appointment Tuesday but I didn’t get to after all. Hert said I couldn’t leave the house until he gets back. So, I was wondering if you could maybe talk to Mr. Roberts and well, convince him to let me go.”
Erin lightly smiled as she stated, “I am sure something can be worked out.”
Looking around, I asked, “Did Jackson leave?”
“He is in Emerson’s room getting cleaned up for dinner,” she informed.
I smiled and stated, “I think I’ll go set the table for dinner.”
Erin smiled back, saying, “Okay dear.”
I walked into the dining room placing plates, glasses and silverware in their proper spots. Mr. Roberts walked in with the food.
He complimented, “You look lovely, Rennillia.”
Politely smiling, I replied, “Thank you, Erin bought me the dress.”
Mr. Roberts gave a slight smirk, saying, “She has quite an eye for perfection.”
Nodding in agreement, I said, “Yes, she does.”