by M. Sembera
Hert smiled as he enlightened, “There is absolutely nothing to worry about Renni. All you have to do is stand next to me and look pretty.”
I smiled back unsure of how to take his comment. It was mildly offensive. Mulling it over in my head, I decided, it was implied that I looked pretty and that was the closest I had come to hearing a compliment in a while.
Informing, “Hey I’m going to call the driver. Come downstairs when you’re finished getting ready,” Hert walked out of the room.
I started feeling better about the day when I grasped all I had to do was be there.
In a much better mood, I stepped into the hallway. Unfortunately, Emerson did too.
Looking me up and down, he shook his head saying, “Awe, such a good little wifey.”
“I am a good wife!” I snapped back at him.
With a condescending tone, Emerson mocked, “Of course you are. You’re the best wife ever.”
Irritated, I gave a loud exhale and continued on my way. Yelling at him in my mind, I was startled to see Telli standing in the living room with Hert. Giving a half-hearted smile, I joined them. The driver arrived and the three of us left for the meeting.
I remained silent the whole way. Not only because I felt anxious about the meeting but it also gave me a chance to overhear Hert and Telli discuss The Office. Apparently, Hert setting up the in house accounting department was cause for concern amongst some of the other companies and investors. The purpose of our week of meetings was to assure consistency and to confirm, that while things were changing, The Office was stable. I understood the importance of it; however I could not see how my presence was at all necessary.
When we arrived at a small building, I was expecting something a little more impressive. As it turned out, the building was only a rendezvous point. After it was clear everyone had arrived, each driver followed the first car to pull away. We ended up at a familiar upscale hotel. Knowing there was a reason this was the hotel he brought me to when I left, I looked over at Hert as we pulled up to the front. Telli stepped out first. Hert followed, stopping until I was out of the car also. Feeling a sense of déjà vu when we passed through the lobby, I remained at Hert’s side as we entered the conference room.
Inside the room, we walked to the head of a long table. Pulling out the chair to his left, he motioned for me to be seated. Telli seated himself on Hert’s right. Hert remained standing until every other person was seated. Taking his place between Telli and me, Hert started the meeting. Sitting up straight in my chair and with my hands folded in my lap, I focused on Hert. It wasn’t a difficult task. Hert’s voice and demeanor commanded attention. He spoke for a little over an hour before opening the meeting for questions. At first I didn’t want to look away. Not wanting to appear rude, I glanced over at the first man to ask a question. Instantly upset, I scanned the room finding, although everyone was seated, it was obvious I was the only wife not wearing a dress. From that point on all I could do was mentally look through my closet, thinking of every dress I owned. The longer the meeting went on the more uncomfortable I felt. Out of place and inexperienced, still I should have known better. Erin had spent her whole life preparing to be the perfect accessory to her influential husband. Here I sat, unrefined. Never putting that much thought in how others perceived me, I was suddenly concerned. Not for myself but for my husband and how I would most certainly reflect badly on him.
As the meeting came to an end, I was extra anxious. Hert stood. Telli stood. Hert placed his hand on my back giving me a light smile. I took my cue and stood with them. The three of us walked to the doorway. Each man shook Hert’s hand and gave me a polite ‘Mrs. Herterand’. As I gave a smile and nod in return, I noticed none of the wives seemed to acknowledge me at all. It could have been proper etiquette for this engagement, however, knowing I was improperly dressed, that was not the way I perceived it. By the time everyone left, I wanted to cry.
Since we were close to Amila and Telli’s house we stopped there before heading home. Amila served us coffee. I loved being at her house. It always felt more like a home than our house did. Standing in the kitchen with her it was no surprise Hert and Telli sat in the living room.
Amila cheerfully asked, “Did everything go okay?”
Nodding, I said, “I think so.”
“Romero never talks about work at all but I could tell he was a little nervous this morning,” she shared.
Shrugging, I confirmed, “Hert doesn’t either.”
Appearing somewhat surprised, she questioned, “Really?”
I nodded again, explaining, “I’ve tried asking questions about The Office but I just kinda gave up after a while.”
With a thoughtful look, Amila inquired, “Are you okay? You look sad.”
I glanced into the living room, making sure Hert was occupied before saying, “I just… I want to be the right wife for Hert.”
Amila looked confused. Before I had a chance to go into detail, Hert walked over to us asking if I was ready to go.
Giving a half-hearted smile, I said, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” to Amila as we left.
Hert placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked out to the car. On the way home, I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder. The moment we arrived home, I rushed upstairs. Flipping through the clothes in my closet, I pulled out dress after dress. Laying each one out on the bed, I stood there staring at them. There wasn’t a single one that appeared suitable. Feeling panicked, I walked back to my closet checking again to make sure I hadn’t missed one.
“What are you doing?” Hert asked as he entered the room.
Trying not to reveal how distressed I was, I replied, “I need a dress for tomorrow.”
Nodding and smiling, he stated, “Okay, Jackson will be here with Sophia in a little bit.”
Promptly leaving after his announcement, he didn’t even give me a second thought. I had no time for hurt feelings. I needed to find a dress for tomorrow’s brunch.
I could only think of one logical next step. Call Erin. The phone was still sitting on the dresser from this morning. I picked it up and dialed her number.
“Roberts Residence,” she answered, sounding a bit sleepy.
Doing my best not to shout in a panicked tone, I said, “Erin I need your help.”
More alert this time, she asked, “What is it dear? Is there a problem?”
Admitting I was more than likely making a big deal about nothing, I said, “No ma’am, I just…All the wives at the meeting today had a dress on except me. I have looked through every dress I have and I cannot find one for the brunch tomorrow. The Store is closed now and I will not have time in the morning to get a new one. What should I do?”
I could hear the smile in her voice as she consulted, “I have a dress in the closet at the house. You are more than welcome to it.”
Slightly hesitant to enter her old room, I asked, “Are you sure?”
“Of course dear,” she assured before saying, “I will call you tomorrow, Rennillia, Goodbye.”
Erin hung up before I had a chance to thank her.
I took a deep breath and walked out of my room. Standing in front of the Roberts’ old room was a bit unsettling. It made me feel like I was intruding on Erin’s privacy. As it turned out it wasn’t Erin’s privacy I was intruding on at all.
I opened the door, and blurted, “Oh!” when I saw Emerson sitting in the chair by the bed.
Giving me a less than welcome look, he griped, “Go away.”
“Erin told me I could get a dress,” was all I could say as I walked to the closet.
Realizing she must have left it for me, I found one dress hanging in the closet with the tags still on it.
Stepping out of the closet, I informed, “I got it,” and started to walk out.
“Stay a minute,” Emerson suggested.
Shocked by his mild tone, I sat on the edge of the bed facing him.
Feeling nothing aside from compassion for him, I offered, “Is the
re anything I can do?”
The resentment returned to his eyes as Emerson snapped, “Yea, you can quit acting like you’re something you’re not.”
“What am I acting like?” I argued.
Narrowing his eyes at me he stated, “Something you aren’t.”
Jumping to my feet, I defended, “I am acting exactly like what I am. I am Hert’s wife. And you are a lazy worthless ass that needs to stop feeling sorry for yourself and grow up.”
Leaving the room, I experienced a twinge of guilt realizing I used the same words I got upset with Jackson for saying. Back in my room, I hung my dresses back in the closet. Looking over at the one Erin gave me, I hung it from the top of the closet door before heading downstairs. By the time I made it down, Jackson had arrived with Sophia. Rushing over, I took Sophia from Jackson, holding her tight. Assuring her that I had missed her, in a whispery voice, I sat down on the couch with her. She snuggled close and I knew she had missed me too. Jackson left after informing me he would attend the brunch with us tomorrow.
I went upstairs to get both Sophia and I ready for bed. I rocked Sophia to sleep while Hert went to our room to take a shower. As I rocked her, the pressures of the day and urgency to prepare for the next drifted away. Holding Sophia, there was no need to pretend or be anything I wasn’t. I was her mom and she was my daughter and that was enough to seal my unconditional love for her. Laying her in her crib, I slowly let go. Knowing she was the most precious gift I would ever have the privilege of receiving, I stood there staring at her. Feeling a bit sleepy, I decided to go to bed. Walking to my room, I opened the door. Hert was already asleep. It wasn’t like I really had any plans for bedtime, still it was disappointing. Even though I had made a wardrobe error at the meeting, I had served my purpose. Once again with no benefit in sight and only the knowledge of another day of unrewarded efforts, I fell asleep.
Chapter 3
Waking earlier than expected, I hurried to Sophia’s room. She was crying. I quickly lifted her in an effort to calm her down. Her little face was red and wet with tears. Holding her close, I patted her back, assuring her whatever was wrong would be okay. I sat on the chair and continued rocking her. She would stop crying for a minute then start all over again. Feeling terrible for her and worried because I wasn’t sure what was wrong, I continued rocking and consoling Sophia.
Hert walked in asking, “What’s wrong?”
Keeping my voice low, I replied, “I’m not sure. Will you go make her a bottle?”
He nodded and quickly walked out. I felt her head and noticed she felt very warm. After taking her temperature, I gave Sophia some Tylenol and she almost instantly fell back asleep.
I sat in the chair rocking her as she sniffled in her sleep. Hert walked back in with her bottle. Placing it on her dresser, he walked up and lightly patted her.
Being as quiet as possible, I said, “I think she’s better now. I gave her some Tylenol and she fell right to sleep.”
Nodding Hert suggested, “Don’t forget to send it to Mrs. Thomas’ with her.”
Saddened by the fact that I was going to leave her, I replied, “She can’t go anywhere if she’s sick.”
“Then I’ll have Mrs. Thomas come here,” he informed.
Nodding at him, I continued rocking Sophia as he left the room.
I rocked her until Jackson and Mrs. Thomas walked into the room.
Giving me a confused look, Jackson fussed, “Geez Ren, you’re not even dressed yet.”
Mrs. Thomas quickly popped him on the arm saying, “Hush up Jacks, her baby doesn’t feel good.”
I shot him a ha-ha look as Mrs. Thomas walked up to me and touched Sophia’s forehead.
Mrs. Thomas gave me smile saying, “I told Jackson to tell you, when he brought her home last night, I think she’s teething.”
Smiling back, I nodded with a bit of relief. Feeling more secure that Sophia would be alright, I handed her over. Mrs. Thomas took my spot in the chair rocking Sophia.
“Thank you for coming here to watch her,” I appreciated.
She laughed slightly saying, “I remember what it was like to be a new mommy and how worrisome it can be,” then seemingly on purpose she teased Jackson saying, “Jacks was always cryin’ about something. He was such a picky baby. I guess he’s still picky because I don’t have a
daughter-in-law yet.”
Smiling wide, Jackson replied, “That’s because I’m not picky mom, I like ‘em all.”
“Well then you need to start being picky and settle down. I want some grandbabies,” she informed.
Laughing a little, he said, “I know mom, you’re the only one without grandkids.”
She smiled giving him a slight nod as we turned to walk out.
Before we were out the door, Mrs. Thomas cheered, “Oh, good luck at your meeting honey, I love you!”
“Love you too, mom,” he laughed, shaking his head.
Jackson and I stepped into the hallway going our separate ways. I headed to my room as he went downstairs.
I got ready thinking about Jackson and his parents. I hoped Sophia and I would have the same relationship when she grew up. Mr. and Mrs. Thomas were the most normal people I had ever met. They were always cheerful and funny. One could definitely tell Jackson was their kid. Most of all they seemed happy to be around each other. I remembered the first time I met his parents and how I enjoyed being around them so much that I was sad when it was time to leave. Sitting in Jackson’s truck as he drove me home, I wished my family was like that. Suddenly, it dawned on me, mine could. Not the family I grew up with and lost but my family now. Hert, Sophia and I could be the family I always wanted. Not only did we love each other, we were both completely devoted to Sophia. I finished getting ready, pleased with myself for coming to such a wonderful conclusion. If I just kept working as hard as I could at being the right wife for Hert, he would be happy too and it would all come together perfectly.
Hert’s voice reminded me to hurry up and go downstairs. Both he and Jackson appeared frustrated with me for taking so long as I made it downstairs just in time to leave. We followed the same routine as the day before. When we arrived at the hotel, I was more self-assured than the previous day. Standing tall beside my husband, nothing could shake my confidence. Until I found out the brunch was for the wives while the men continued on to the conference room. What was I supposed to do? I knew none of the wives and from my impression yesterday, they really did not want to know me.
Walking to the outdoor area where our brunch was held, I noticed all the other wives were seated at tables in little groups. None of them seemed to acknowledge my presence, so I took a seat at an empty table off to the side. Truthfully, it was much easier this way. I could sit there quietly imagining how perfect my family would be and not worry about impressing anyone.
It was working perfectly until I heard a voice say, “Excuse me, may I sit down?”
Quickly looking up, I answered, “Of course.”
She was a very thin, pleasant looking woman. Her hair was short and blond with noticeable strands of gray.
“I’m Angelina; my husband is the lawyer for The Office. I’m not sure if you realize but you are being very rude,” she stated in a mothering tone.
Horrified, I shook my head apologizing, “No ma’am, I wasn’t trying to be.”
Angelina took a deep breath and assured, “Well, you are.”
Feeling my eyes welling up with tears, I replied, “I know I made a bad impression yesterday. I should have worn a dress but….”
She swiftly cut me off saying, “Honey, no one here cares what you have on. All we care about is that you are doing your part.”
Nodding, I defended myself, “Mrs. Roberts told me what to do and I thought…”
Angelina interrupted me again, “We all toler…respected Mrs. Roberts for who she was. You are not Mrs. Roberts. Your job is to make sure your husband’s life away from The Office is simple and pleasant so he can handle his responsibilities without
worrying about his home life,” she then paused, taking another deep breath before informing me, “We all know a bit about you and believe it or not, we are hoping you succeed.”
Before I could respond, Jackson walked up.
Smiling wide he pulled up a chair and sat down. He glanced at me then turned to Angelina.
She smiled at him, asking, “Well, how did you come out?”
“Pretty good,” he replied, before Angelina turned back to me saying, “I will leave you to it then,” and returned to her table.
I whispered, “You know her?”
With a peculiar look Jackson replied, “Yea, that’s Seminol’s wife.”
“He’s the lawyer for The Office,” I clarified.
Nodding, he said, “We had a little break so I thought I would see how you were doing out here. Why are you sitting by yourself?”
I shrugged my shoulders at him saying, “I don’t think they like me very much.”
Jackson smiled, quietly sharing, “It's probably ‘cause you’re so much prettier than all of them.”
It made me smile as I assured, “Yea, I don’t think that’s why.”
With a thoughtful look Jackson offered, “There’s really no need for me to be here anymore, I’m done. Do you want me to take you home?”
“No. I don’t want Hert to think I can’t do this. And don’t tell him I was sitting by myself, okay?” I pleaded shaking my head.
Rolling his eyes, he said, “Alright, see you when the meetings over then.”
Smiling slightly, I gave a little wave as he walked back inside.
I felt a little disappointed in myself. Regardless of what I should do or what was expected of me as Hert’s wife, I was fixing to be myself and hope for the best. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and walked over to the table where Angelina was sitting.
Clearing my throat as they looked up at me, I asked, “Is it okay if I sit with ya’ll?”
Four of the ladies appeared shocked, while Angelina smiled, motioning for me to pull up a chair.
Angelina introduced them to me saying, “Rennillia this is Brooke, Nadine, Pearl, and Benetta.”