by Diana Cooper
I don’t know how the go-up, go-down came so dramatically. We must have left our fools’ paradise and gone to the new flat instead of going directly to England, for I remember a winter evening’s rain, both of us clinging together under an umbrella, and looking, on the left side of the Seine, for a place to dine. Every place we tried was shut—a Monday, I suppose. With no car and no taxi to be hailed we tramped on, dejected orphans of the storm, till at last we came to Porquerolles, a favourite restaurant far up the Boulevard St Germain; and there Madame Zick must have been touched and understanding of our plight, for she welcomed us and fed us with her best and gave us comforting claret and showed us no bill.
So this was the end of Career. They wished us a happy retirement. I could not see the words compatible, but good things were still in store for us. First and foremost, John Julius’s bride. He was twenty-three when he left my wing for her arms. I had no jealousy to overcome because Anne was fresh as April, as tall as a lance and because he loved her as I had been loved. They called their daughter Artemis, which is Greek for Diana.
There were sunlit days at Chantilly. There Duff wrote his last book and there I gave up keeping old age at bay. Although the change from youth is slow and regular, it comes yearly as a defeating shock. Enthusiasms wilt; the sands running so quickly through the hour-glass bury schemes and plans. Clothes lose their lure; elegance must give way to the “funny old thing.” It would be better to look redoubtable and stump around with a stick to brandish. I look rather pathetic and still surprised. There will be no photographs of this slippered stage. Cecil Beaton, whose eyes are more dissecting than his flattering lens, must close his shutter. It opened last to portray me as Tiepolo’s idea of Cleopatra at the famous Beistegui ball in Venice. The frontiers still let me through with that picture on my passport. When they won’t I’ll stay at home.
I’ll write no more memories. They would get too sad, tender as they are. Age wins and one must learn to grow old. As I learnt with the loss of a nurse to put childish things behind me, as I learnt when the joys of dependence were over to embrace with fear the isolation of independence, so now I must learn to walk this long unlovely wintry way, looking for spectacles, shunning the cruel looking-glass, laughing at my clumsiness before others mistakenly condole, not expecting gallantry yet disappointed to receive none, apprehending every ache or shaft of pain, alive to blinding flashes of mortality, unarmed, totally vulnerable. More faith is my first prayer; the others are chiefly propitiatory. There is one of thanks, even one for this poor book, one for benediction and reunion, I want no monument, nor to live longer in memories than the heartbeats of those who are young and who love me and protect me today. I cannot end with words as courageous as Duff’s. The long custom of living disinclines one to dying, but great loss makes death less fearful. Besides, before the end, what light may shine?
Index
Abbey, Eleanor, 1
Abbott, Mr and Mrs, 1
Abdy, Sir Robert, 1, 2
Acton, Lord, 1
Adare. See Dunraven.
Adelaide, Queen, 1
Admiralty House, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
“Æ.” (George Russell), 1
Aga Khan, The, 1, 2, 3
Ägyptische Helena, Die, 1
Aird, Sir John, 1, 2
Aitken, Colonel, 1
Aix-les-Bains, 1, 2, 3
Albéniz, Isaac, 1
Albrecht, Admiral, 1
Aldwick. See Bognor.
Alexander of Hillsborough, Earl (A. V. Alexander), 1, 2
Alexandra, Queen, 1, 2, 3
Alfonso XIII, King of Spain, 1
Alice in Wonderland, 1, 2
[Alice] Through the Looking-Glass, 1
Allan, Maud, 1, 2
Allen, Sir Denis and Lady, 1
Altrincham, Lord (Edward Grigg), 1, 2, 3
Altrincham, Lady (Joan Grigg), 1
Aly Khan. See Guinness.
Amery, Leo, 1
Ancaster, Eloise Countess of, 1
Ancaster, 2nd Earl of, 1
Anglesey, Marchioness of (Lady Marjorie Manners, author’s sister), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29
Anglesey, 6th Marquess of (Charles), 1, 2
Anglesey, 7th Marquess of (Henry, Earl of Uxbridge), 1, 2, 3
Anson, Sir Denis, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Aosta, 3rd Duke of, 1
Arlington Street, 1, 2, 3
Armstrong, Hamilton Fish, 1
Arnold, Dr Thomas, 1
Ashby St Ledgers. See Wimborne.
Ashcroft, Dame Peggy, 1
Ashfield, Lord, 1
Ashford, Daisy, 1
Ashley-Cooper. See Head.
Asquith, Arthur, 1
Asquith, H. H. (later Earl of Oxford and Asquith), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Asquith, Herbert (“Beb”), 1
Asquith, Katharine (“K”) (née Horner), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24
Asquith, Lady Cynthia, 1, 2
Asquith, Lady Elizabeth (later Princess Bibesco), 1, 2
Asquith, Margot (Countess of Oxford and Asquith), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Asquith, Raymond, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Asquith of Bishopstone, Lord (Cyril), 1
Asquith of Yarnbury, Baroness (Violet), 1
Astor, Nancy Viscountess, 1, 2
Audley. See Churchill.
Auric, Georges and Nora, 1
Austen, Jane, 1
Austin, Alfred, 1
Austin, Tex, 1
Avon. See Eden.
Ayer, Sir Alfred, 1
Ayto, Nanny, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Backhouse, Sir Roger, 1, 2
Bagnold. See Jones.
Baillie, Lady Maud, 1
Baker, Harold, 1, 2
Bakst, Léon, 1
Baldwin, Mrs (later Countess Baldwin of Bewdley), 1, 2, 3
Baldwin, Stanley (1st Earl Baldwin of Bewdley), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
Balfour, Arthur (1st Earl of Balfour), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Balzac, Honoré de, 1, 2, 3
Baring, Maurice, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39
Barrault, Jean-Louis, 1
Barrie, Sir J. M., 1, 2
Barrymore, John, 1
Bath, 5th Marquess of, 1, 2
Bath Club, 1, 2
Baudelaire, Charles, 1
Baxter, James, 1
Beardsley, Aubrey, 1, 2
Beaton, Sir Cecil, 1, 2
Beatrice of Battenberg, Princess, 1, 2
Beaumel, Madame Annie, 1
Beaverbrook, Lady, 1
Beaverbrook, Lord, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29
Beck, Colonel, 1, 2, 3
Bedford, 9th Duke of, 1
Bedford, 11th Duke of (Herbrand), 1
Beecham, Sir Thomas, 1, 2, 3, 4
Beerbohm, Sir Max, 1, 2
Beethoven, Ludwig van, 1
Bel Geddes, Norman, 1, 2, 3
Belle of New York, The, 1
Belloc, Hilaire, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Belvoir Castle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38
Benckendorff, Constantine, 1, 2, 3
Benckendorff, Count, 1, 2
Bennett, Arnold, 1, 2
Benson, Daisy (later Lady Wake), 1
Benson, E. F., 1
Benson, Guy, 1
Benson, Jeremy, 1
Benson, Lady Violet (Letty, author’s sister), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Bentinck, Lord Henry, 1
Bérard, Christian (Bébé), 1, 2, 3
>
Berenson, Bernard, 1
Berle, Adolph, 1, 2
Berlin, Sir Isaiah, 1
Bernays, Robert, 1
Berners, 14th Lord, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Bernhardt, Sarah, 1, 2, 3, 4
Bernstein, Henry, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Berry. See Camrose.
Bevin, Ernest, 1, 2, 3, 4
Bibesco. See Asquith.
Bidault, Georges, 1, 2, 3
Birdwood, Field-Marshal Lord, 1
Birkenhead. See Smith.
Birrell, Augustine, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Black Mischief, 1
Blackton, J. Stuart, 1
Blackwood, Lord Basil, 1
Blanche, Jacques-Emile, 1
Blume, Herr, 1, 2
Bognor, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Bogomolov, Mr and Mrs, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Boleslawsky, Richard, 1, 2
Bonnet, Georges, 1, 2
Bonnot, André, 1
Boothby, Robert (later Lord Boothby), 1
Borghese, Pauline, 1, 2, 3
Boris Godunov, 1
Botticelli, Sandro, 1
Bottomley, Horatio, 1
Bouch, Tommy, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Boucher, Squadron-Leader, 1
Boufflers, Chevalier de, 1, 2, 3
Bourdet, Denise, 1
Bourdet, Edouard, 1, 2
Bousquet, Marie-Louise, 1
Boyd, Phyllis. See Janzé.
Bracken, Brendan (later Viscount Bracken), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
Brancaster, 1, 2, 3
Brassey, Gerard, 1, 2, 3
Brett, Dorothy, 1, 2
Briand, Aristide, 1
Bridport, 3rd Viscount, 1
Bright, Sergeant-Major, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brighton Rock, 1
Brontë, Charlotte, 1
Brooke, Rupert, 1, 2, 3
Brooke-Popham, Air Chief-Marshal Sir Robert, 1, 2, 3
Broughton-Adderley, Peter, 1
Brown, Ford Madox, 1
Brown, Joe, 1
Browning, Robert, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Brownlow, 6th Lord, 1
Bruce, S. M., 1
Buchan, John (later Lord Tweedsmuir), 1
Buller, General Sir Redvers, 1, 2
Bullitt, William C., 1, 2, 3
Burckhardt, Carl, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
Burckhardt, Mrs, 1, 2, 3
Burne-Jones, Sir Edward, 1
Burnet, Bishop, 1
Burrough, Admiral Sir H. M., 1
Butler, Humphrey, 1
Butler, Pootz, 1, 2
Butler, R. A. (later Lord Butler of Saffron Walden), 1, 2
Byam Shaw, Glen, 1
Byron, 6th Lord, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Caffery, Jefferson, 1
Caillard, Sir Vincent, 1
Caldecott, Randolph, 1
Cambon, M., 1
Campbell, Herbert, 1
Campbell, Mrs Patrick, 1, 2
Campbell, Sir Robert, 1
Camrose, 1st Viscount, 1
Camrose, 2nd Viscount (Seymour Berry), 1
Capitant, René, 1
Cardigan, Lord, 1
Carl, Admiral, 1
Carlotta, Empress, 1
Carmi, Maria, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Carnarvon, Countess of, 1
Carpaccio, Vittore, 1, 2
Carpenter, Sally, 1
Carrington, Mrs, 1
Carstairs, Carroll, 1, 2, 3
Caruso, Enrico, 1
Casati, Louisa, 1
Castlerosse, Viscount (later 6th Earl of Kenmare), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Catroux, General, 1, 2, 3
Catroux, Madame, 1, 2, 3
Cavalieri, Lina, 1, 2, 3
Cazalet, Victor, 1, 2
Cecil, Lord Richard, 1
Cellini, Benvenuto, 1, 2
Chaliapin, Fedor Ivanovich, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Chamberlain, Neville, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15
Chandler, Bob, 1
Chandos. See Lyttelton.
Channon, Sir Henry (“Chips”), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Chapel Street, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Chapin, Mrs, 1
Chapin, Selden, 1
Chaplin, Charlie (later Sir Charles), 1
Chaplin, 1st Viscount, 1
Charles, Lady, 1
Charles I, King, 1
Charles II, King, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Charteris, Ego (Hugo, Lord Elcho), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Charteris, Ivo, 1, 2
Charteris, Mary Rose (later Mrs Grey), 1, 2, 3
Charteris family, 1, 2
Chesterton, G. K., 1, 2
Chiang Kai-Shek, 1
Chiang Kai-Shek, Madame, 1
Child, Sir Hill, 1
Chilton, Sir Henry, 1
Cholmondeley. See Rocksavage.
Chopin, Frédéric, 1
Christopher, Prince and Princess of Greece, 1
Chu Chin Chow, 1
Churchill, Clementine (later Baroness Spencer-Churchill), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12
Churchill, Lady Randolph, 1
Churchill, Mary (later Lady Soames), 1
Churchill, Randolph, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Churchill, Sarah (later Lady Audley), 1
Churchill, Sir Winston, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 and passim
Ciano, Count, 1
Claire, Ina, 1
Clairmount, Claire, 1
Clark, Sir George, 1, 2
Clark Kerr, Sir Archibald (later Lord Inverchapel), 1
Clarkson, Willie, 1
Clary, Count, 1, 2
Coats, Dudley, 1
Cochran, C. B. (later Sir Charles), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Cockayne Hatley. See Hatley.
Cocteau, Jean, 1, 2
Codman, Charlie, 1
Coffin, Dr, 1
Colefax, Lady, 1
Colette, 1
Coningsby, 1
Connaught, Duke of, 1
Connolly, Cyril, 1
Constant, Benjamin, 1
Cooper, Lady Agnes, 1
Cooper, Anne. See Norwich.
Cooper, Artemis, 1
Cooper, Duff (1st Viscount Norwich), 1 and passim
Cork and Orrery, 12th Earl and Countess of, 1
Corrigan, Laura, 1, 2
Costobadie, Mr, 1
Cotton, Polly, 1
Coudenhove-Kalergi, Count, 1
Cowans, Sir John, 1
Coward, Sir Noël, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Cowles, Virginia, 1, 2
Cranborne. See Salisbury.
Crane, Walter, 1
Cravath, Paul, 1
Craven, 5th Earl of, 1
Crawford, Joan, 1
Crawford, Countess of, 1
Creevey, Thomas, 1
Cripps, Sir Stafford, 1
Crosby, Sir Josiah, 1
Cruger, Bertram, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Cruise, Sir Richard, 1
Cunard, Lady (Emerald), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
Cunard, Nancy, 1, 2, 3
Cunard, Sir Bache, 1
Cunningham of Hyndhope, Admiral Lord, 1, 2
Curie, Eve, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Curzon, Viscountess (later Countess Howe), 1, 2
Curzon of Kedleston, Marquess, 1, 2, 3, 4
Cushendun. See McNeill.
Cust, Harry, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Daily Express, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Daily Mail, 1, 2
Dali, Salvador, 1
Dante, 1
D’Arcy, Father Martin, 1, 2
Daresbury, 1st Lord (Sir Gilbert Greenall), 1
Darvall, Lawrence, 1
d’Astier de la Vigerie, Emmanuel, 1, 2, 3, 4
Davey, Randal, 1
Davidson, Jo, 1, 2, 3, 4
Davies, Marion, 1, 2, 3
Dawson, Air Vice-Ma
rshal Grahame, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
de Beistegui, Charles, 1, 2, 3
de Breteuil, Elizabeth, 1, 2
Debussy, 1, 2
Defauw, Désiré, 1
de Gaulle, Charles, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27
de Gaulle, Madame, 1, 2, 3
de Gaulle, Mademoiselle, 1, 2
de Grey. See Ripon.
De Lattre de Tassigny, General, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13
De La Warr, 9th Earl, 1, 2, 3
Delphi, 1
de Montgomerie, Minou, 1, 2
D’Erlanger, Baroness, 1, 2
Desborough, Lady, 1, 2
Desborough, Lord, 1
De Valera, Eamon, 1, 2
Devonshire, Duchess of, 1
Devonshire, Mary Duchess of (Marchioness of Hartington), 1
De Weerth, Ernest, 1, 2
Diary of a Nobody, The, 1
Dickens, Charles, 1
Dick, Reid, 1
Diethelm, André, 1
Dietrich, Marlene, 1
Dietz, Miss, 1
Dill, Field-Marshal Sir John, 1
Dimitri, Prince, 1
Diodati, Villa, 1, 2, 3
Dirksen, Herbert von, 1, 2
Disraeli, Benjamin, 1st Earl of Beaconsfield, 1, 2
Dixon, Sir Pierson, 1
Dobbie, Sir William, 1
Dodge, Mabel, 1
Dorchester, Lady, 1
Dorman-Smith, Sir Reginald, 1
Dostoievski, Fyodor, 1
Dowson, Ernest, 1
Drexel, Anthony, 1
Drian, 1, 2
Duckling. See Churchill.
Dudley, 3rd Earl of (Viscount Ednam), 1
Dudley, Countess of, 1, 2, 3, 4
Dudley Ward, Angela (later Lady Laycock), 1
Dudley Ward, Freda (later Marquesa de Casa Maury), 1, 2
Duff, Lady Caroline (author’s niece, née Paget), 1, 2, 3
Duff, Lady Juliet, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Dufferin, Marchioness of, 1
du Maurier, Sir Gerald, 1, 2
Duncan, Isadora, 1
Dunraven, 6th Earl of (Lord Adare), 1