In reality, there'd been little change to my social life. My schedule was still overflowing with homework, volunteering, and tutoring, and James preferred to ignore me completely at school. He was now gathering his own group of friends—most of whom were pretty and popular like him. The only time he deigned to speak with me was the brief discussions after school about when we would spar next, and the occasional random question about popular culture.
"So basically, I'm just taking pictures of myself?" James said, showing me the new phone he'd acquired over the past week. He'd approached me as soon as I reached my locker, thrusting the device into my hand and peppering me with questions about it.
I took the phone from him, annoyed that it was much nicer than mine, and drew little devil horns on the photo he'd taken of himself. "Basically."
"Gavon didn't prepare me for all this… Thanks," he said with a dry look. He snatched the photo out of my hand and deleted it. "And what is this football thing everyone keeps talking about?"
"It's a game. Our team sucks though," I replied, envisioning the conversation between Gavon and James about the internet and cell phones. "The first game is this Friday."
"Huh. Callista wants me to go with her," James said with a frown as the girl in question walked down the other end of the hall. "Is this footsie thing just on Friday?"
"Yeah, but we're going to be sparring, remember?" I said, hoping the hint was enough.
But it went unnoticed. "Be right back." He stood and walked over to Callista, conferring with her quietly. From the happy look on her face, I guessed he was asking her to the football game. He walked back to my locker, looking pleased with himself.
"Can we move our sparring match to tonight?" he asked, nonchalantly.
A surge of anger coursed through me. "Right, because I'm just going to rearrange my schedule so you can get laid on Friday night."
He squinted at me for a moment. "That means…"
"Ugh. Having sex."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," James said. "If the sparring partners in New Salem are woefully underwhelming, the women are terrible. Half the girls are empaths and enchanters, not even worth my time."
I had to laugh and glanced at the emptying hallway around us. "You realize these girls are nonmagical, right?"
"Yes, but they're nicer to look at and smell better." He cleared his throat. "To your point, I respect that you've got a lot on your plate and my intention was not to make your schedule for you. I was simply asking if we could reschedule so I could go out on Friday—"
"Oh, I'm sorry," I said unapologetically. "Maybe next time you shouldn't cancel on people because you've got a better offer."
"I'm not asking to cancel, simply move it." He smiled, turning on the charm. "And perhaps if Gavon were to ask where I was on Friday…"
I slammed my locker shut. "You've got to be kidding. Now you're asking me to cover for you?"
The charm disappeared. "You don't understand. I can't even breathe without asking for permission. Please help me. If I don't get out from under Gavon's thumb soon, I might explode. The only time I get to myself is when I'm here, and even then, he won't even let me have my magic except when we spar."
My gaze held all the little care I had.
"I'm sorry I made you upset," James said, although he sounded more like I was the one in the wrong. "Please, can we spar tonight?"
"I've made other plans tonight."
He made a noise.
I rolled my eyes. "In case you were unaware, I'm trying to get enough money to go to college. And that means tutoring on Tuesdays and Thursdays, volunteering Wednesdays and Fridays, and spending all weekend studying and trying to keep my grades up. None of which, I'm sure, you care about—"
"I do care," he said, stepping in front of me while I tried to get around him. "I just happened to see an opportunity to do both things."
I glared at him. "Move."
"You really do make an amazing opponent." He smiled warmly and, despite my disgust at him, my heart fluttered. Especially when he grazed the skin of my collarbone to lift my pendant from beneath my shirt. "See? Telling the truth."
I stepped back from him, and the chain fell from his finger.
"And I'm also telling the truth about Gavon. He's been relentless lately about keeping me in New Salem when I'm not at school. What good is me learning the culture if I'm not free to experience it?"
I steadied my glare at him.
"Fine," he said, loudly. "In exchange for doing this for me, I'll do one favor for you."
"No."
"Come on. There has to be something I can do for you. A spell you haven't mastered? A potion I can brew you?"
"No… Wait." A thought came to mind. "Yes, there is something. I want a spell I can use to find someone."
"A locator spell?" James said, scratching the back of his head. "I guess. Why do you want one?"
"None of your business," I said. "So do we have a deal?"
"The terms of the deal are that you and I will spar tonight, you'll cover for me on Friday should Gavon ask, and I will find you one locator spell," James said, tapping the items on his fingers.
"Is this a magical pact?" I said, taking one step back.
"No. I mean, yes, but not nearly as binding." He held out his hand. "Deal?"
"Deal."
I had to come up with an excuse for getting out of tutoring early, and I had to completely cancel my volunteering, so I just hoped it would be worth it. The only thing that kept me from not showing up was the promise of a locator spell to find Marie.
James arrived in a puff of green smoke, a disgruntled look on his face. "Let's just get on with this. I have to be back before ten."
"Where's my spell?"
"Here." He pulled a scrap of paper out of his pants pocket and shoved it at me. "Best I could do."
I balked. "Did you tear this out of a book?"
"Yeah?"
I cradled the paper gently in my hands. "You're a monster."
"Yes, well, Gavon started asking questions when I was in the library. He was very suspicious of me when I asked him if we could spar more than once a week."
"Wait…you want to permanently change our sparring night?" I asked, still cradling the poor ripped page.
"You said that this ballfoot thing happens every Friday," James said with a wave of his hand. "I assume things will go well this Friday with Callista, so I also assume we'll be seeing more of each other. She apparently has a party at her parents' condo on the beach, so I was planning on going to that too."
I couldn't keep the anger off my face. "Great. You've been here for one month and you've already got more action than I do."
He actually laughed. "I'm popular in New Salem, too. Things aren't that different over here."
"I think they're a lot different."
"I meant people aren't that different," he said. "They like mystery. They like someone who listens to them and makes them feel important."
"That's…astute," I said. "Shockingly so."
"You wound me. I'm not as blind as you might think." He cocked his head in my direction. "Although I'm confused why you're angry at me right now."
"Because…because…" Why was I angry? I was a little annoyed that he was forcing me to change my schedule, but I was also a little hurt. Hurt at my classmates for never including me, and hurt that James was abandoning me for them. Not that I liked him, of course, but he was my evil magical. Not theirs.
"I mean, maybe I want to go to the party too," I said, finally.
James blinked at me. "You want me to ask you out?"
My face flamed, and I kicked the sand. "Not like that, but I never get invited to parties. If you're going to say you're hanging out with me, you might actually hang out with me."
"Fine, would you like to go out to a party at Callista's on Friday?"
"Well, not if you're obligated to ask me—"
"Make up your damned mind!"
"Fine! Yes!" I barked. "I'd like to go to
the party."
"Good, but in return, you have to tell Callista there's nothing going on between us," James said.
I was ready to vehemently deny any proposed changed to our ad hoc agreement; instead I could scarcely believe what I'd just heard. "I'm sorry, what?"
"She thinks that because you and I know each other, there's something going on between us."
"Yeah…no…" I laughed nervously, though not quite sure why the thought made me squirm. "Fine. If the topic comes up, I will tell her."
"And don't talk to me so much at school."
I glared at him. "You're the one always coming to me with questions."
"I'm glad we're on the same page. Now can we please get on with sparring? This conversation is exhausting."
We sparred for about half an hour, but it was clear neither of us wanted to be in each other's presence, so we called it a night. James didn't even bother to say goodbye before disappearing in his puff of green smoke.
I plopped down on a sand dune and pulled the torn paper out of my pocket. Once I completed the spell, I would force James to return the page to the book from whence he'd torn it. Damn him and his stupidity. He could've used magic if he'd wanted to hide the book.
Regardless, I finally had my locator spell, and I was finally going to get hold of Marie.
Locator Charm
To locate an individual, use magic to locate their aura then transport to that location.
"So, so helpful, James."
He couldn't have found a different kind of magic than another damned charm? Or maybe stuck around long enough to show me how to use it? But that was James. Egotistical, selfish James, who did nothing for others unless it benefitted him first.
Ugh. Good luck with that, Callista.
I placed the paper on the sand in front of me and took a few calming breaths, wiping James and his idiocy from my mind. Concentrating on the sound of the waves against the shore, I felt the breeze against my skin, signaling that fall wasn't too far off. After a few minutes of quiet meditation, I felt ready to attempt the spell.
This aura thing was something that had long perplexed me. I guessed it was the colored mist that surrounded magicals sometimes, like mine was purple and James' was green.
Marie's magic was white, so I closed my eyes and focused on the way it had looked, the way it felt mixing with my magic as she healed me. The particular knowing in my gut that it was Marie, and Marie's magic.
Flashes of light and indistinguishable objects crept by my mind's eye, but I couldn't grab any of them long enough to see them clearly. I felt Marie's presence—or rather, the particular signature of her healing magic somewhere among the energies, but it was like screaming in a crowded football stadium. After a few feeble attempts, I pulled the magic back to myself, defeated.
Yet another perfect example of how completely lost I was without a true magical tutor. This should've been easy, but there I was, fumbling my way through something I had no idea about.
I picked up the scrap of paper and searched the words for any other meaning, but they stared back at me with infuriating simplicity. Tears gathered in my eyes out of frustration and loneliness.
I'd been stupid to think James would be anything like Gavon. Then again, Gavon hadn't shown his face once since the first day of school, not even to oversee the pact. So maybe they were exactly the same.
Either way, it was clear I was still on my own.
Eleven
James didn't ask whether the locator spell worked; in fact, he ignored me for the rest of the week. Dutifully, when Callista asked me what was going on between us, I explained that we were old friends from childhood and that he was a pain in the ass.
"But if you like him, Godspeed," I said, knowing that whatever negatives I offered would go in one ear and out the other.
She was a little surprised when I'd also mentioned that James had invited me to the party, but was gracious enough not to veto it. Maybe James had offered some sob story about how awkward and lonely I was. At least, that's how I played it in my head.
I'd known my classmates had been drinking and partying for the past three years, but I'd never gotten an invite. Marie made sure of that during my freshman year. But after Jeanie died, I'd lost all interest in the concept, mostly because I couldn't see a reason for distracting myself when I had bigger things to worry about.
But I was a senior, my grades were decent, my volunteer schedule packed, and my checking account filling up. I could take a breather. Even so, the guilt of doing something fun instead of focusing on college was at an all-time high on Friday afternoon, so I did another round on my admissions essay and application for Georgetown, if only to distract myself before the party.
After an hour of unfocused effort where nothing I wrote seemed right, I went to my closet to figure out how to be a normal teenager for once. All my clothes suddenly looked ridiculous and underwhelming, and everything I tried on seemed to make me look weird. What I wouldn't have given for Marie right then…
I glanced at my phone then picked it up.
I'm going to my first party tonight. I need help figuring out what to wear.
A moment passed.
Read 6:45pm
I sighed, tossing my phone on the bed and frowning. I'd gotten my hopes up just a fraction—
My phone buzzed.
I scrambled across the room, grabbing it and holding my breath.
Jeans and t-shirt. Don't overthink it.
I sat on the bed, and relieved tears fell down my face. It wasn't much—it wasn't anything, really. But at this point, I'd take even the smallest inkling that Marie might consider coming home, especially after my disastrous locator spell had failed. This was proof that she wasn't unreachable.
"What are you—Lexie!" Nicole opened the door fully and rushed into the room. "Lexie, what is it?"
I held my phone out to show Nicole the text message. "She finally answered."
Nicole took the phone from me and scrolled through, her frown deepening. "You've been texting Marie all this time?"
I nodded and wiped my cheeks. "I needed to know she was okay and not—"
Nicole stopped scrolling and sat on the bed next to me. "Lexie, you don't need to worry about Marie. She made her own decision to leave—"
"It's not that," I said, wiping my face. "It's that… What if…" I wasn't sure I wanted to say the words 'Cyrus' or 'New Salem' to Nicole. "I just don't like not having you guys here."
Nicole pulled me into a hug and stroked my hair. "Marie needed space. So that's what she got."
My gem warmed—not hot, but enough to inform me that Nicole was skirting the truth. Then again, their fight had been epic, and I guessed she still wasn't over it.
I pulled away from Nicole and wiped the wetness off my cheeks. "I didn't mean to make you worry."
"I came in to see if you wanted dinner," she said, glancing around at my disaster of a room. "But it looks like you've already got plans…"
"Yeah," I said. Lying about going to a party seemed so mundane compared to the big, giant lie about James attending my school. "I got invited to a party."
"Really?" Nicole nodded approvingly. "That's great."
"Yeah…" Only I would have a guardian actively promoting my partying and socializing.
"I mean it," she said with a small laugh. "I worry that you're too focused on school. This is your senior year. If you don't slow down, you might miss your entire childhood. And next year, you won't be able to play around like this. Not while working."
I bit my tongue instead of arguing that I was going to get a scholarship. In any case, I knew myself well enough to know I'd work regardless. I didn't do well with downtime.
"I suppose I should lay down some ground rules," Nicole said. "No drinking and driving, no drinking and using magic. If you're going to be out later than midnight, text me and let me know."
"I will," I said.
"And I love you."
I stared at her for a moment before shaking the surpr
ise out of my head. "What was that for?"
She brushed a stray piece of hair out of my face. "Just wanted to make sure you knew. Things haven't been easy since…well, for a while. And I know you miss Marie, and…and Jeanie. But I'm really proud of how you've handled everything."
I swallowed the words Gavon's apprentice is going to school with me and we're sparring every week and smiled at her. "Thanks, I guess."
"Marie's right, by the way. T-shirt and jeans. Don't overthink it."
I skipped the football game entirely, as sitting outside in the sweltering September humidity wasn't my idea of a good time. I kept popping over to Callista's condo on the beach, waiting for signs that the game was over, before returning home to pace my room and watch TV. Finally, around eleven, I saw shadows in the windows and lights on.
Taking a deep breath, I climbed the stairs, wondering why I was fearful of the kids I'd grown up with. It was ridiculous to be nervous, especially after all the other things I'd been through, but there it was. My hand shook as I opened the door, and the sounds of conversation filled my ears.
Nobody seemed to notice me walking in, which was nice. I felt a little better knowing everyone in the room, and was even greeted by a couple of girls from my classes. They helped me find a drink, and we stood in the living room making small talk.
"So, Lexie, where are you going to college?" asked Arpita, one of the girls who'd taken graphic design with me.
"Uh… Georgetown, I hope," I answered quietly.
"Wow, that's awesome."
"Far, though," said another girl, Emily. "Aren't you worried about leaving home?"
I chewed my lip, unsure how to answer that. Although I planned to be living far away, I could pop home whenever I wanted. I was taking too damned long to answer the question, so I spat out, "I mean, there's a lot here that I would rather forget."
"Oh, that's right," Tamara said. "Your aunt died a few years ago, right?"
I clicked my tongue at her flippant tone. "Yes. I've been living with my sister."
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