"I'll explain later," I said with an amused smile. "Then what happened?"
"I said she was the first person I'd texted and when she didn't respond, I came to you—"
"James!" I cried, throwing my hands in the air. "Leave me out of it!"
"Why?"
"You can't be that stupid."
"I'm not, but I don't see why anyone would think there's something between us. I mean…look at you and look at me."
"Yes, one of us is a well-adjusted valedictorian, and the other is a selfish asshole."
James glowered. "That's not fair."
"Neither is the insinuation that I'm somehow less attractive than you are. Or less datable."
"I didn't mean you weren't cute. But you're my friend. We spar and we talk magic. And, oh by the way, your father is my master."
A fact I let myself forget most days. "Yeah, that would be kind of weird."
"We're close because we're both magical. That's all. But there's not really an easy way to explain that to Gee without her thinking I'm hiding something."
"James…you are hiding something."
We stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. I wasn't even sure why it was so funny, but after spending so much time living half-truths and sneaking around, it was nice to admit it out loud. Especially with someone in the exact same boat.
Friends. James had said we were friends. And for the first time, I realized that I did consider him my friend. Sure, he was self-absorbed, but he'd also made a compelling case for me to go out and socialize. In his own warped little mind, I supposed he thought he was doing me a favor.
"What's that on the TV?" he asked, nodding toward it.
"New Year's Eve celebration in New York," I said. "Thousands of people watch a giant glass ball drop. Everyone celebrates at midnight."
"Looks like fun. We should go."
"What? Right now?"
"Yeah," James said with a devilish grin. "This party is boring anyway."
"Right now."
"Yes."
"I can't find a spot," I said, standing in the dark outside of Gee's house. "The whole place is crowded. There isn't an empty place anywhere in the city."
"So…let's just appear," James replied. "Nobody will notice."
"Isn't that…" I bit my lip. I'd never consciously attempted magic in front of non-magicals, but I'd always lived in fear of some unknown consequence. "I mean, there's a law against it. A magical one."
"One that, I would suppose, doesn't apply to you," James said. "Considering none of the others do."
He had a point. After the Separation, the remaining magicals created an agreement to prevent the same thing from happening again. That meant no magic until fifteen and no specialties, among other things. But since my father's ancestors had been stuck in New Salem, I was exempt from the pact. Another pesky loophole.
"Look," James said, adjusting his grip on my arm, "why don't you try again? Maybe find somewhere dark and crowded, that way no one will notice us showing up."
"I looked—"
"Try. Again." His smile was encouraging, as if he was sure I could do this and I was just doubting myself. "And stop controlling your magic so hard. You look like you're taking a—"
"All right, that's enough," I snapped, glaring at him. Closing my eyes, I released my magic again, concentrating—
He brushed the center of my forehead with his fingers, relaxing the concentrated tension he found. "Relax. Magic isn't this difficult."
"Easy for you to say," I grumbled, but his gentle touch had worked. Free of the control and with a simple request, my magic darted through the city, landing on an empty broom closet in a building right in Times Square. "I found one!"
"See? And you doubted your—"
I didn't want to lose the place, so I transported the two of us before he could finish. The air sucked out of my chest as he crashed into me, our bodies filling the tiny space. I heard something crash behind him as we both got our bearings.
His breath tickled my cheek as he coughed. "Well…this is awkward."
I glanced down; my legs straddled his, and his thigh was pressed very firmly against the more sensitive parts of my body. Uncomfortable, new feelings rose in my stomach. "I think we should get out of here."
"Waiting on you, magical."
"Oh, right." Using magic, I unlocked the door from the inside, and we spilled out onto the tile floor. I nursed my bruised elbows and hands, but James just lay on the floor, laughing.
"This is already much more fun than that party. Why don't we do this more often?" he asked, turning to look at me.
At first, I thought he meant the intimate moment in the closet, which increased the new squirming in my stomach. Then I realized he was speaking more generally.
"Because, apparently, you hated me," I said after a while.
"Oh right," he said. "Because I thought you and Gavon were conspiring to make my life miserable."
"You know," I said, propping myself up on my elbows. "In order to conspire, people actually have to communicate."
"Enough of that. I don't want to think about him," James said, popping deftly to his feet. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up too, so fast I got dizzy, so he placed both hands on my shoulders. "We have a city to explore."
The crowd was audible from the seventh floor (where I'd transported us), and even louder when the elevator doors opened. The lobby was empty, but just beyond the glass double doors, people were crammed in tight on the street outside. I wasn't even in the crowd, and already claustrophobia welled in my chest.
"C'mon," James said, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward it. I magically unlocked the glass doors (then locked them again; no need to get a poor security guard in trouble), and we entered the fray. Crowded didn't even begin to describe it. This was insanity. Lights and flashes blinked down at me from everywhere, and the din of the crowd was so loud it made my ears ring. My only tether to sanity was the pressure of James' palm in mine, and the tug of forward motion as we walked through the crowd. I was over it in seconds, but he seemed drunk on the activity of it all.
"You're sure you don't want to go back to the party?" I yelled over the din.
"No way," he called, glancing over his shoulder. "You don't think this is fun?"
I offered a half-smile, and he tugged at my hand.
"C'mon! Live a little. You have all this power to go anywhere you choose and you choose to stay home."
"I like being home!"
"You aren't living. This is living!"
He stopped short, and I ran into him. Again, I found myself in close quarters with him, pressed against his back as he held tight to my hand. But his attention had gone upward, to the moving signs and tall buildings. He turned to me with a wide-eyed innocence I'd never seen before. Gone was the cocky and brazen boy who swaggered around my school as if he owned it. James was gawking at New York City as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.
He finally noticed my closeness and took a step away. "What?"
"You're…actually excited about something," I said over the loud chatter around us. "It's weird."
"I get excited about lots of things. But I can't very well act like everything in school is brand new to me, can I? Might invite some questions."
"Yeah, one of these days, you're going to have to tell me how you managed to fool my school into thinking you're a normal kid from the twenty-first century."
He grinned. "Later. After you tell me what that thing is!" He pointed to one of the large movie screens on the building, counting down the minutes until midnight. "And that! What is that over there? And—"
"One thing at a time," I said with a laugh. I drew his attention to the main event, pointing over his head. "See? That's the ball that drops at midnight."
"And why is that important?"
"I…have no idea," I said with a frown. "Just tradition, I guess. New Year's means everything starts over. People like that."
"I like that, too."
His attention was still on the ball, as if willing it to move sooner. It might be a good thing he was without magic. "This year is going to be weird."
"Tell me about it," I replied with a sigh. "Graduation, going to college. Moving out."
"Getting inducted into the Guild."
I looked at him sharply, but he hadn't moved. "You're getting inducted?"
"On my eighteenth birthday in March." He finally wrenched his attention away, and for a split second, I saw uncharacteristic uncertainty. But it was quickly replaced by his usual carefree smile. "But let's—"
A loud cheer rose from the crowd, and we turned to the main billboard. There was one minute left until midnight.
"Now what?" James called to me.
"Now we count down to midnight," I called back.
"Oh. What happens then?"
What did happen then? People usually cheered, toasted…and kissed.
Oh crap, this was going to be awkward.
"Ten! Nine!"
James joined in the chanting and I did too, half-heartedly, dreading the impending moment and wishing I could transport myself out of there.
"Six! Five!"
James turned to me, a curious look on his face, so I wiped the worry from mine. This year was going to be better. I'd be getting into Georgetown. I'd be graduating high school. My new life was going to begin.
Yeah, things were going to be great. Just after this awkward moment passed.
"Three! Two! One!"
The world exploded in cheers and confetti, and next to us, couples moved together in celebratory kisses. Before I could even question it, James grabbed my face between his hands and planted his lips on mine.
My first kiss was over before it began, and it was all I could do to stare wordlessly at James. He turned away as if nothing interesting had just occurred and wrapped my hand in his, tugging me forward to do another lap around the crowd.
But even as I dumbly followed, I pressed a finger to my lips, wondering if it had been my imagination, or if a bit of magic had passed between us.
Eighteen
By the time I woke up on New Year's Day, I'd all but forgotten the kiss. And by forgotten, I meant tried my damnedest not to overthink what it meant or how it had felt. It had been spur of the moment. A friend kiss. A peer-pressure induced meeting-of-the-mouths. There hadn't even been any tongue and it had lasted about two seconds.
So why couldn't I stop thinking about it?
This was James, apprentice to Gavon. Future leader of the Death Eaters. I couldn't come up with a better example of "Bad Boy." Not to mention he was arrogant, selfish, and the worst kind of womanizer. The polar opposite of anything I should've even considered being attracted to.
Yet, he was incredibly charming when he wanted to be. He was also handsome, although his personality overshadowed that most of the time. Something drew me toward his arrogance, too, especially because I knew I was his equal and could put him back in his place. There was something so delicious about watching him stew in defeat when I bested him—verbally and magically.
But did that mean I was developing a crush on him? And how could one develop a crush on someone who was so obviously a terrible choice? It was almost like I had no control over my own decision-making. Like seeing disaster ahead and not being able to find the brakes.
That son of a bitch must've put a potion on me. Or a charm. Or something. Because I was not this stupid. Maybe he'd coated his lips, and I was simply feeling the aftereffects. But after searching my potion book, I discovered that most potions that affected the brain weren't permanent. They only lasted a day, maybe two if the dose was made strong enough.
Which meant that after three days of fighting a goofy, lovesick smile when I thought of James, I determined that he hadn't potioned me, and I was simply being an idiot.
"You're distracted today," Nicole said one morning over breakfast.
My kingdom for a sister I could be honest with. "Yeah. Just getting excited about the year, I guess. Nervous."
"Nothing has to change, you know," she said. "I mean, it's okay to stay here and go to school—"
"It's not okay," I said, complete with the familiar surge of annoyance that came with the idea of staying where I was.
She pursed her lips, clearly wanting to say more. Instead she said, "I think I'm going to take my car in again."
"R-really?" I blinked. "That's what? Three times in three months?"
"It's still making noises and…" She chewed on her lip.
"Demand that the mechanic do something about it," I replied. "You shouldn't be paying him if he's not doing his job."
"I think it's just an old car."
"Nicole," I said with a frown. "Don't let him push you around."
"He's not pushing me around," she said hotly. "I'm going to demand that he fix the car and not charge me this time."
"Absolutely."
"Just…I'll go in later," she said, wilting into her coffee.
"I could go threaten to blow him up," I said after a few minutes of silence.
"Don't you dare."
When the first day of my final semester in high school arrived, I awoke with a pit of dread in my stomach. Not because I was nervous about school, but it had been over a week since I'd seen James, and I was still thinking about him with infuriating frequency. I'd have to face him eventually, but if I limited our exposure as much as possible, perhaps I could build up an immunity to him.
I waited until the last minute to transport to the bathroom and squeaked into my desk during the morning announcements. I kept my head down, but I felt his gaze on me as I settled in across the room. The heat was palpable, or perhaps it was just my embarrassment, and it took all my willpower not to look up. Finally, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn back to the front.
My gaze landed on his neck, and I wondered what it would be like to kiss it—
I blinked, blushing for even thinking that way. I suddenly felt exposed, as if everyone in the room had just heard what I'd thought. Turning my attention, I tried my very best to focus on the teacher, and not on the way James' arms so slightly moved as he scribbled down notes.
Those arms, connected to those hands, which had taken me and kissed me so—
Stop it, Lexie.
In the first place, no matter how friendly we'd gotten, he was still in line to be the next Guildmaster, with all the repercussions thereof.
In the second place, I saw him share a glance with Mary Catherine, a tall, skinny girl who I thought was a dancer. Our kiss had obviously changed nothing for him and he was on the prowl for his next girl. As class wrapped up, he turned to her, smiling in that way that said he was very interested, and said, "What's happening?"
As I packed my books up, I told myself it was a good thing, because if he was distracted with someone else, he wouldn't be able to flirt with me and make me daydream about him. And then perhaps I could return to seeing him as just a friend, and not someone I wanted to push up against the wall and make out with.
"Are you mad at me?"
I jumped nearly out of my skin, as James had appeared in front of me as if by magic.
"You've been avoiding me all day," he said with a frown. "Did I do something wrong?"
I yelped then busied myself with my locker. "I mean, no. I'm not. Just trying to get back into school."
If he found my bashful behavior strange, he was clearly upset over other things. "I'm so glad to be back. Gavon's been relentless lately. My induction match is three months away."
"You mentioned that," I said, cautiously.
"Final test before I'm officially admitted into the Guild." He chewed his lip and glanced down at me. "You aren't going to get mad at me if I talk about this, are you?"
"Me?" I squeaked. "Why would I get mad?"
"I just… I know how you get when I talk about Gavon, and I don't want to upset you."
Words left me in favor of shock, and I stared at him for a long time before I noticed he'd started walking away. I jo
gged after him, still unable to shake the strange feeling in my chest.
"Look, we're friends. And friends talk to each other about stuff that's bothering them. You've heard me talk about my issues. So…yeah. Fire away."
"I've been allowed to spar with you once a week again, because Gavon has taken an interest in my training. Tuesdays with him, Fridays with you. And when I'm not doing homework, I have to study magical theories and potions." He rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't surprise me if he popped an exam on me either."
"Why the worry?" I asked as we walked to our next class. "Has Cyrus done anything…?"
James heaved a sigh and I feared the worst. "He asked me over for tea the other day. He hasn't done that in several months, not since I started attending school."
"I thought you were forbidden to go over there?"
"I'm forbidden, but if Cyrus asks Gavon, Gavon has to let me go. Guild rules and all that. Anyway, Cyrus asked if I would consider taking over the Guildmastership."
"But, I mean…you will one day… Oh." I licked my lips. "You mean…"
"Yes. Kill Gavon and take over now."
I swallowed. The last words I'd spoken to Gavon had been in anger, and if that was the last thing I ever said to him…I shuddered. Even now, I still felt guilty about it, even though I knew I'd been mostly in the right.
"Which means either he thinks he can sway me to whatever plan he's got, or he thinks he can challenge me in a duel and finish me off." James chuckled. "In both cases, he'll find himself sorely mistaken."
I actually sighed in relief. "Thank God."
"Which part?"
"The part where you aren't killing Gavon."
He stopped in the middle of the hall. "Do you really think I could do something like that?"
"Well…"
He stopped and took my arm. "Do you not understand me? Cyrus wants me to kill a man in cold blood. Despite my issues with Gavon, he's still the only father I've ever known. And you really think I'd be able to take his life simply so I can ascend to my rightful position twenty years sooner?"
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