"Yeah right," I muttered, but unfortunately, it was too loud.
"Don't take that tone with me," Nicole said.
I almost dared her to try to ground me, but I stopped myself. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to bring it up and to be disrespectful. I won't ask again."
"That's right, you won't." Nicole seemed pleased that she'd placated me.
But I was just relieved I'd never have to experience an awkward moment where Nicole tried to ground me—because I wasn't sure that she could.
Twenty
"Lexie!"
The memory of my parents cleared too late, and the force of his magic hit me hard.
"Another one?" James said with a frown. "This is becoming a problem."
I stared at the stars above my head, unwilling to look at James in the eye to tell him the truth. Two weeks and four sparring sessions later, I wanted to hear the voices. I needed to understand, to search my memories of Gavon's face for any sign that he'd been lying about the way he felt. On some level, I thought maybe if Gavon was capable of loving my mother—really loving her—then…
"Hello? Are you in there still?" James waved his hands in front of my face. "You realize my induction is soon. This half-assed training isn't helping me."
Of course I knew that. It was all he'd talked about, becoming almost an obsession over making himself perfect. If I hadn't been so caught up in my own memories, I would've been more enamored with how adorable insecurity was on him. Thank goodness for small miracles.
"I don't understand why you're so worried," I said, brushing the sand off my pants as I stood slowly. "You said Cyrus doesn't want to fight you."
"That's what he said, but who knows if he means it? That would be typical Cyrus. Let me think I'm fighting Gavon until the last minute." He frowned and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "It's just strange. He hasn't spoken to me once since our tea."
"Is that…odd?"
"Cyrus has always been rather obsessed with me," James said. "He had to be careful around Gavon, but he'd always find his way to a conversation. But now, it's almost like he wants nothing to do with me."
"That's a good thing, right?" I only wished I could say the same.
"If he's not interested in me, what else might be holding his attention?" James asked with a quirked brow.
Knowing Cyrus, that was actually a good question. My pulse began to flutter with nerves and the reminder that there was something about him I'd forgotten. "Have you told Gavon about it?"
"I did, but Gavon doesn't really listen to me anymore," he replied. "More interested in his own projects, I think."
"What kind of projects?"
"Who knows? Gavon isn't concerned about him, in any case."
But Gavon had shown a surprising lack of urgency for Cyrus-related things. "I don't like it. If Cyrus is up to something, we need to figure out what it is."
James chuckled. "That's a change. I thought you were terrified of him?"
His observation struck a chord in my brain. It had been a while since I'd had a Cyrus-related panic attack, or dreamed about him coming to hurt my sisters. Perhaps in sparring with James, I'd become a lot more confident in my abilities to keep my sisters safe.
"I mean, he's still dangerous. He's a cold-blooded killer. I'd rather be prepared than sit around and wait for him to strike."
"Do you think he'd go after your family again? It's been over two years. If he was going to make a move against you, he would have by now."
"Doesn't mean he won't ever. Maybe he's just biding his time."
"Maybe you're paranoid."
I glowered at James, and he laughed again.
"Look, I know Cyrus and he's an opportunist. He's not going to do anything unless he's sure he can get away with it. And the only way he'll get you in the dueling ring is if you agree to be inducted into the Guild."
"And that's never gonna happen."
"Exactly. So why are you worried?"
"Because…I don't know." I sighed. "Because even though I could probably take Cyrus, my sisters are defenseless. And it would be really easy to get me to do anything if they were in danger."
"The pact protects them, too."
"I guess…I don't know. I haven't seen Marie in months. What if she's been in Cyrus' basement all this time?"
"Well, I can assure you she's not down there," James said.
"How do you know? All she does is send back read receipts and never answers my texts and…"
"Didn't you say you had a health spell on her?"
I nodded. "But what if it's wrong? What if she's been hurt or dead all this time and—"
"Why is your first instinct to doubt your own magic?" James asked.
"Because I have no way of knowing if what I'm doing is right." I sighed. "James, I'm a girl who thrives on empirical evidence. If I can see and replicate the results, I'll believe it. And sure, this spell has shown me the same thing. But I haven't seen Marie in years, and—"
He closed his hand over mine again. "Sometimes, Lexie, you have to just believe in your own magic."
"How?"
"I think you are a terrible magical."
I opened my mouth to ask why he'd say something so mean, but the stone at my neck grew warm. I began blushing from embarrassment, and also from the feel of his hand covering mine.
"If you don't trust anyone else, you have to learn to trust yourself. Otherwise, what's the point?"
James was right, I didn't trust myself. Not since I'd been completely wrong about Gavon. I'd not been concerned about him, not when he'd shown up on Magic's Eve, not when I found out we were both Warriors. Not even when I'd woken up in New Salem. And even with Nicole and Jeanie telling me how bad he was, I still couldn't shake the underlying feeling that he wasn't. There were too many inconsistencies in his behavior, too many times the ulterior motives they said he had didn't make sense. While I was angry at him for abandoning me, I didn't believe he would ever physically hurt me.
And despite all his flaws, James no longer concerned me either, which terrified me. I refused to make the same mistake twice, and yet there I was. Trusting and spending time with a magical from New Salem.
Perhaps even growing attached to said magical.
"Fine, whatever. But I tried the locator spell you gave me and it didn't work."
He winced and looked away. "Yeah, I knew it wouldn't."
I stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"The spell I gave you was intended to be used by a charmer, maybe an enchanter. Your magic is too blunt." Before I could snap an insult back, he clarified, "I mean, your Warrior magic. Charms and those kinds of things require precision. Warriors don't have precision. Or at least, not without a lot of concentration and skill." My breath caught as he leaned over, but he simply hooked a finger on the chain around my neck. "You nearly destroyed this thing when you charmed it, remember?"
I swiped the chain away. "But that's because I'm untrained."
"No, it's because you're a Warrior," he said.
I nodded, my words stuck in my throat until he released my necklace. "So what should I do about Marie?"
"We could try a different locator spell, but I doubt we'd be successful. I think there might be a potion that would work better. I'll see if I can locate it in Gavon's library."
"Why are you so interested in finding her?" I asked. It did strike me as odd that he would go through all this trouble.
His gaze captured mine. "Because you are."
My mouth went bone dry and I knew my shock was written all over my face. But while I had extensive experience in sparring with James, this new, thoughtful person was unfamiliar territory. And based on the amused turn of his mouth, he was enjoying catching me off guard.
"Well, that's just…" I began once I figured out how to move my mouth.
"And maybe, if you talk with your sister, she can help you figure out why you keep having these magical memories so we can get back to business."
There it was. Arrogant James I could deal with.
"I'll look in my books as well. Maybe I missed something when I searched them before."
"Let's do this on Friday. After all, if you aren't going to get your head out of your ass and spar, what good are you?"
In response, I flung an attack spell at him.
I looked and looked but couldn't find anything useful to locate Marie. Not that it surprised me. It was the first thing I checked for in every new book. But James had assured me he'd found the right potion and that I would see my sister again on Friday. And the look he'd given me had sent warmth right into the pit of my stomach.
The more of himself he showed me, the less sure I was I had him pegged. I could think of a thousand reasons why he'd want to find Marie, from the selfish (he wanted her to heal him after sparring) to the evil (he wanted to hurt her), but none of them felt true. What had seemed real was when he looked me in the eyes and told me that he was interested in finding her because I was.
Friday came too soon, and before I knew it, I was peering into a cauldron with James, torn between optimism that this potion would work and fear that it would.
I did like watching James brew potions. His eyes darkened in concentration, barely noticing my presence as he measured out herbs and liquids like a professional. A few times, I thought to ask him what he was mixing, but I didn't want to disturb him.
"There," he said, a little breathlessly. The concoction was a pale yellow, almost like melted butter, but smelled of the daisies and sunflowers he'd added. "I was a little worried I'd added too much goldenrod."
"You? Worried?" I snorted.
"Yeah, potions are damned difficult," he replied. "I can pour it out if you're going to be rude."
"No, no," I said, with my hands in the air. "It's just…you're good at everything. I'm surprised to hear you admit otherwise."
"I am not good at everything, and I never said I was." James plopped down on the table and flipped pages in the book.
"Well, you're better than me. Some days I feel like I know my magic, and others it's like I'm discovering new things every day."
James actually smiled. "I think it comes more from practice. To be honest, I actually tried to use that same locator spell on you once before. I found out the hard way it didn't work that well."
I flushed. "When?"
"The first time I found you in New Orleans. I spent three hours wandering around the city. But when I saw that bookstore, I was pretty sure you'd be in there. You're a creature of habit."
"I am not."
"You were usually in one of four places: your apartment, school, the kennel, though thankfully you've decided to end that relentless torture, or the library. Weekends if you aren't in one of those places, you're at that old bookstore in New Orleans or," he smiled, "with me."
I didn't share his smile. "It's creepy you know me so well."
"Lexie, anyone who spent more than one week with you would know your patterns. It's only thanks to me that you've actually had any fun this year."
I frowned, but had nothing to say in response because another idea popped into my head. "So is that how Gavon knew where we were when we'd been arrested? He used a locator spell on me?"
"No, in that case, he was probably alerted by the officer through your magic. Because he's your father, there's an inherent connection people can tap into, especially as you're still young." He didn't look up as he talked, and I got the distinct impression that James wasn't pleased I was bringing up the arrest thing.
"So he could find Marie if he wanted to?" I asked quietly.
"Do you want to ask him?" James asked. "Or would you rather summon me a lock of your sister's hair so we can complete the potion?"
I didn't want to see Gavon, so I summoned her hairbrush. After all this time, I was nervous about the idea of talking with my sister. Would she even want to speak to me? Would it be another fight that would irreparably damage our relationship?
"I'll take that." James plucked the brush out of my hands and pulled out a single strand of hair, dropping it into the potion. I held my breath as the concoction bubbled and gurgled. Smoke rose from the sides, but instead of dissipating into the air around us, it gathered and formed a sphere.
"Is it supposed to do that?" I asked him, and he nodded.
"It will show us exactly where she is," James said, not taking his eyes away from the smoke. "Kind of like Google Maps. I just learned about that recently. But all you have to do is look into the sphere and use your magic to locate her. Focus on her, and let your magic and the potion do the rest."
I took his hand suddenly. "James, what if she doesn't want to see me?"
"She will." He squeezed my hand. "You have to trust yourself, otherwise the potion won't work."
I closed my eyes and forced away all of my nervous thoughts, centering on my sister. The potion tugged at my magic, inviting it closer, as it melded together inside the cauldron.
A flash of something crossed by my mind's eye, and I scrambled to hold onto it. "I see something!"
"What is it?"
"I… Lights…a lot of lights. Activity. It's blurry but…" A familiar sign rose in the distance, as cars drove down a central street. It was hot, too, even in the middle of winter. A desert. "She's in Las Vegas."
"Let the potion pinpoint her."
"How?"
A warm hand covered mine. "Just let your magic do the work."
At his instruction, I released my subconscious control, and it was like putting on a pair of glasses. In front of me was the city of Las Vegas, with all the glittering lights and activity even as the sun was setting in the distance. I was momentarily distracted by the glitz, before a tug on my hand reminded me of my purpose. If my magic had gone to this spot (I guessed it was there in some disembodied form), then Marie had to be close.
I felt, rather than saw her first. The tug of familiar magic, the yin to my yang. My sister's magic was so close I could taste it. The doors of a fine apartment building opened, and she walked out. Her face was a mask of confusion until she looked right at me.
And she smiled.
"Well? Don't just dawdle there like an idiot," she said. "Come on."
I opened my eyes and gasped. "I found her. James, I found her."
"Go get her!" he said, releasing my hand. "I'll clean up here."
"James, I…" There were a thousand things I wanted to tell him in that moment, but all I could come up with was, "You're an asshole for not helping me with this sooner."
Then I transported away.
Twenty-One
I appeared in the street where my magic had led me, and almost immediately, Marie's magic surrounded me and transported both of us. I landed with unsteady feet on a white plush carpet and a swankily-decorated apartment.
"For crying out loud, don't you know you aren't supposed to transport yourself into the middle of the street?" came the reply from my totally alive, totally not-being-tortured older sister.
Tears gathered in my eyes as I drank in the sight of her. She was skinner than I remembered, a bit more mature and weathered, but still retaining that callous haughtiness. Although she'd been sarcastic, her smile betrayed her true feelings.
I crossed the room in three steps and collapsed into her arms. She embraced me tightly and I cried into her shoulder.
"You've been practicing," Marie said, pressing her cheek to my forehead. "That's some powerful magic you've got there."
"Where have you been?" I asked. "Why haven't you come home?"
"Here and there. Settled on Vegas a few weeks ago." The stone at my neck warmed, but I wasn't surprised. Marie had always dealt in half-truths, so I wasn't surprised she was keeping stuff from me now. I also didn't care.
"This is a nice place," I said. "Do you still have the convertible?"
She chuckled. "Oh yeah. I take it for long desert rides every so often."
Before magic, Marie's car had been a mystery to me. Namely, how she could afford it—or why Jeanie had seen fit to buy it for her. But I'd found out later that she'd fixed i
t up with magic. I could only assume the apartment was procured the same way. After all, there was no way she could've afforded this on her own, and I doubted anyone would find her that enthralling to pay for it.
The view itself had to be worth a million dollars. I went to the window and pressed my fingers against the glass. Her apartment was at least twenty stories up, and the entire strip folded out in a sparkling, beautiful oasis.
"You're gonna get slobber marks all over my window," she said, coming to stand beside me.
"Sorry. Pictures don't do it justice." Even though I stepped back, I kept my attention on the outside. After a few moments, I noticed her staring at me. "What?"
"I can't believe how old you are," she said with a frown. "It's like you suddenly got hot when I was away."
Classic Marie. "Thanks."
"I don't mean that as an insult. It's like…you were a kid and now you're not." She handed me a glass of brown liquid that smelled foul. "Please tell me this isn't your first drink."
"No," I said, taking a hesitant sip. It tasted like motor oil. "But I don't like this."
She waved her hand, and the glass grew in size and the liquid changed color. "You'll be a whiskey girl eventually."
"Doubtful." I sipped the concoction and found it much sweeter and palatable than before. But even after one sip, my brain hummed and I decided against drinking any more. "So…"
"So."
We stood in silence for a moment. Then I erupted.
"Gavon's apprentice enrolled in my high school, and we've been sparring for a few months and I think I might have a crush on him and now I'm having magical memories of when Gavon and Mom used to spar, and I'm wondering if Gavon really loved her or if it was a ruse."
I watched Marie's reflection in the mirror. Her face had gone slack as she processed what I'd just told her. She chuckled and took a long sip of her drink. "And I take it Nicole doesn't know any of this."
"It's not that I want to lie to her—"
"It's that she's too wrapped up in her own shit to see outside the bubble," Marie finished for me. "You can't even make a G sound without her having a coronary."
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