As much as I hate to admit it right now, he’s right; I need to let them do their job so we can get her well and I can be by her side. That’s the place I want to be, it’s the only place I belong. Sara pulls out her phone and it reminds me that mine is off. I pull it out and power it on.
After a few moments of staring at a blank screen, I shove the phone in my pocket. My strides aren’t long or fast enough to exert all this pent up energy while I pace the waiting room. The main doors to the building open and a disheveled Sally enters the room. She makes a beeline straight to me.
“Where is she?” she asks out of breath.
“They have her in the back. They wouldn’t let me stay.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own.
“I will be right back.” She walks off.
I hear Sara snicker and I turn to her, wondering what the hell is so funny. The moment my furious gaze lands on hers, she quiets.
“I’m sorry,” she says, staring at her lap.
I begin to pace again. What the fuck is taking so long? I can’t take it; all these unanswered questions are killing me. I can’t fucking take it anymore. I march to the window and tap loudly. The young redhead looks at me, the annoyed look on her face makes me want to put my fist through the thick, clear glass.
“Can I help you?” the woman asks.
“Yeah—” I’m interrupted by Sally coming through the set of double doors to my right. Turning my back on the unpleasant desk donkey, I approach Sally. Looking at her, I realize why Sara was laughing. Poor Sally must have come here straight from her bed. She’s still wearing her pajamas, a housecoat, and a pair of khaki Toms.
“Don’t. Say. A. Word. I’m more than aware of my appearance, but I didn’t have time to get dressed.”
“I don’t care if you’re wearing a potato sack. How’s Chloe? Can I see her?” I’m prepared to throw several more questions at her, but she holds her hand up at me.
“Skye, Chloe overdosed on Xanax and has alcohol poisoning. Did you know she was abusing her meds?”
“No,” I almost shout. “I only started to suspect these past couple of days. I’ve mentioned it, but she would get so angry. I’ve been trying to find the right time to bring it up again, but then we got into it at BAR earlier and she went MIA. Fuck, this is so messed up.”
“Well, they just finished pumping her stomach. She’s going to have to stay here for a couple of days. Someone should go and get her a change of clothes. I think you need to bring all her meds here for the doctors to reevaluate her prescription options.”
The disappointment wears down Sally’s facial features. Her shoulders are slumped and the unshed tears show how deeply this is affecting her.
“Yes, ma’am,” I say to break the awkward silence. I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her neck.
“Thank you, Sally. Thank you for being the mother that neither of us ever had. You’re so important to us and we love you,” I whisper into her curly, grey hair. The urge to share this with her was so strong it just flowed from my lips with no effort. I should have thought about what I was saying though, because as soon as the words left my mouth, Sally broke.
Her shoulders start shaking and her knees grow weak. I tighten my arms around her to help support her. We stand like that for what feels like forever. Both of us sobbing for someone we love.
“Y’all will get through this,” she mumbled into my chest. “That girl is stronger than you and I put together. Mark my words, she’s gonna be all right. The lord is letting her bear this load so she can become the person she’s meant to be.” She pulls out of my arms, reaches up, pats my cheek, and walks away.
I go back over to Sara and Harley and relay everything Sally had just told me. Sara breaks out into full hysterics.
“This is all my fault.” She gasps for air before finishing her thoughts, “I never should have said those horrible things. When are they going to let us go back to see her?”
I shrug not knowing the answer to her question.
We wait a while longer before Doctor Jacobs enters the waiting area. I’ve never been so relieved to see someone in my life.
“Skye,” he addresses me before extending his hand to shake mine. “She’s in stable condition, but she’s sedated for now. We’re going to keep her for a day or so. I’m going to be honest, her mental well-being has been brought up and she will have to undergo a psychological evaluation before she leaves.”
I nod in agreement.
“We will also need you to bring in any narcotics she may have left. Do you think you can do that?”
“Yes, sir,” I answer honestly. “How long until we can see her?” My voice comes out eager.
“It will be a while before anyone can see her. She’s asleep for now and will probably be out for a while. You have time to go home and get the things she’ll need,” he explains and I nod.
Doctor Jacobs turns to Sara and gives her a soft smile. “How are you?” he asks.
She gives a half smile. “Good considering.”
“Will I be seeing you later this week? I heard you’re making great progress in physical therapy.”
“I’ll be there.”
I had forgotten about her appointment.
“Well then, I will leave you to it. Have the nurses page me if you need anything further.” He turns and walks off.
“You going to get her stuff?” Sara asks.
“Yeah, y’all gonna stay here?”
Harley speaks for Sara. “Man, we’ll stay at least until you get back.”
“I’m not go—” Sara starts but Harley cuts her off with a look and she goes silent.
Since I’ve known Sara, I’ve never seen anyone shut her up as quickly as Harley just did. I don’t linger on that thought long, though.
“All right, I’ll be back shortly.” I turn my back and walk away from them.
I get to the parking lot and realize I don’t have a ride. When I turn around, I spot a smiling Harley holding a pair of keys out to me.
“Figured since you rode in the ambulance you would need a ride.” He tosses me the Jeep keys and walks back into the hospital. I spot my Jeep parked in a handicapped spot to my right and head in that direction.
I’m on the road for a good ten minutes before I realize that I don’t remember any of the journey to the apartment. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t pay attention to where I was going. I pull up to the apartment and start up the stairs. As I round the last balcony about to head up the last flight, I crash into a soft body.
“Whoa, where’s the fire?”
I look up and spot Jay. “My bad, I’m kinda in a hurry,” I say as I try to breeze past her, but she blocks my path.
“How’s the boss lady?” Her words give the impression she’s concerned, but the sarcastic tone in her voice contradicts it. Brady hired her a few months back. I wasn’t impressed, but he was adamant about it so I figured we’d give her a shot. If I had to decide right this moment, I would be sending her packing just from the lack of respect for Chloe in her voice, but I’ll have to deal with her later.
While I’ve been talking to myself, she’s pressed herself up against me. I take a step back. “What the hell are you doing?” I’m livid now. What the fuck would make this girl think it’s okay to advance on me like this. She reaches up to wrap her arm around my neck, but I stop her movement by grabbing her wrist. “Keep your fucking hands off me. “
She fucking giggles like this is some kind of joke. “I love it when they play hard to get.” She spins like a fucking fairy past me and skips down the steps like she’s in the park and didn’t just push herself up against me.
I enter Chloe’s apartment, heading straight for her room. Digging through her sock drawer, I stumble across a black, leather-bound book. After a few moments of debating whether or not to invade her privacy, I open it.
I skim a couple of pages before I realize it’s a journal. I slam the book closed and put it back in its original resting place. I run around the apartm
ent gathering the things she will need while staying in the hospital. Once that’s done. I sit the bag by the front door and turn back toward her room. I can’t help it, I need to know what’s going on inside that gorgeous mind of hers.
I open the top drawer and grab the book. I sit on the bed and turn to the first page.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I see his face everywhere I go. There’s always something to remind me of what he was and what he became. I can feel the same thing happening to me. The good left inside of me is slowly being sucked from my body a little more each day. I’m not strong enough to fight it. I don’t even know if I want to anymore. The only thing that keeps me here is Skye.
He’s what keeps me grounded, what keeps me sane. But for how long? How long will he stick around before he realizes how tainted I am and turns his back on me?
I’m sick to my stomach; she’s more broken than I realized. I need to find a way to fix her, to glue the pieces of her heart and soul back together. I need to make her whole again.
That fucking beeping noise is back with a vengeance. Why in the hell is it that no matter where I go, I wake up and hear that fucking beeping noise? My eyes are heavy and gritty, I try opening them but I can’t, they feel glued shut.
I moan, but it echoes in my head. Trepidation floods my senses, all the signs point to it, but it can’t be. I didn’t have an accident; I woke up and have been home since Todd’s attack. I’m not in a coma again, I can’t be. I hear a sheet ruffle, then a male voice.
“She should be awake soon. When she does, find me, then we can work on getting her to a room,” the voice that I instantly recognize as Doctor Jacobs says.
“Yes, sir.” I cringe at the strangers chipper voice ringing loudly in my ear.
When the room goes quiet, I try to wake myself up. After several moments, I’m flooded with the memories that lead me to this moment. The images that flash through my mind make me sick. What the hell did I do?
The cool night air whips around me, the chilly wind bringing all my senses to life. My phone starts ringing, but I hit the end button, and then power it off completely. The farther I get from them, the calmer I feel, so the last thing I want to do is talk to him.
I need to cool off before I can have the conversation I know he wants to have. I reach over and grab the bottle of Jack, place it between my legs, and with one hand, untwist the lid. I try to lift the heavy bottle to my lips with one hand, but it’s difficult since I’m driving, so I pull into a gas station.
While putting the Jeep in park, I notice a police officer pulling into the lot, so I quickly hide the bottle and slouch down in the seat. Fuck, what do I do? By the time I come to a conclusion, the cop is gone, but that doesn’t sway my decision. I power my phone back on long enough to call for a cab.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m climbing into the backseat.
“Where to?” the cabbie asks.
“The cemetery right outside town. You know it?”
“Yep.” That’s all he says before we’re peeling out of the parking lot. He doesn’t talk on the drive there for which I’m grateful. I pop a blue football in my mouth and wash it down when we’re ten minutes from my destination. I don’t know why I chose to go to the cemetery, I guess I figured no one would look for me there, either way that’s where I’m going.
I take another nervous gulp of the brown liquid and let the burning sensation in my throat distract me from the unnerving feeling of where I was about to go. We finally reach the iron gate and I climb out, landing on unsteady feet and tossing the guy a wad of cash. I hesitate momentarily, then stumble a few steps away. I glance back toward the cab, realizing that this is a horrible idea and that I could change my mind and go home, but he’s already gone.
The darkness of my surroundings is disturbing. In the early hours of the morning, the nocturnal creatures are still moving about. Something is scampering around through the forest floor across the road. As its feet shuffle through the branches and leaves, a million different thoughts run through my mind. My mind conjures up several terrifying monsters that could be lurking within the shadows of the wilderness. The noise moves closer and closer as my heart hammers in my ears. The racket is now so close that I think about fleeing from the parking lot, but my feet won’t budge. I’m shaking uncontrollably and my lungs ache from holding my breath until a small rabbit jumps out of the tree line into view.
What the fuck Chloe? You’re scared of a damn bunny. I huff at the mini meltdown I just had in the cemetery and roll my eyes. It’s just me and the hundreds of people that were put to rest over the years. What the fuck am I doing here?
I remember there being a stone bench in the parking lot somewhere and I spin quickly looking for it. When my body stops its rotation, the earth continues to move, causing me to sway. The bench rests under a huge oak tree and I stagger to it, none too gracefully. I have to stop twice to keep myself from falling.
I collapse on the hard, unforgiving bench and look around at my surroundings. I’m sitting in the dark at God knows what time, drunk as hell. What the fuck is wrong with me, I’ve lost my damn mind. I start cackling hysterically at my present predicament. I open the bottle of JD and take several long gulps.
It hits my stomach hard and instantly bounces back up. I spew all over the parking lot, covering my boots in the process. Balling up my fist, I wipe the vomit from my chin and take another large gulp. I back against the ancient oak and close my eyes. You know how you know something or someone by heart that even if you’re not around them, you can still hear the sound of their voice or smell the scent of their cologne?
It had always freaked me out when I thought I heard something like that, but what if it’s not a memory, but someone’s spirit calling out to you? Since my mother passed away, I’ve heard her calling out to me on numerous occasions, especially these last few months. Each time I heard her raspy voice, I ignored it, pretended that I hadn’t heard it, or convinced myself that it was all in my head.
Why would she seek me out now that she’s dead when she hardly said two words to me when the bitch was alive? What could she possible gain from tormenting me now, didn’t she do that enough when she was walking this earth?
I turn and lie on the bench, ignoring the soft sounds of my mother’s voice on the wind. In my movement, I hear the pills rattle in my pocket. I pull out the tan bottle and stare at it.
“Just like your father. Go ahead, Chloe, take another one. You’re just like him, you know. Worthless fucking junkie. That’s what you’ve become,” her voice taunts me.
“Shut up,” I scream as loud as I can. “I’m nothing like him!” I open the bottle with shaky hands. I rationalize with myself that I’m having a panic attack and that’s why I need to take the meds, that’s what they’re for. I convince myself that it’s okay; I’m not drunk, just buzzed, and I had already thrown up half of that.
I finally get the bottle open and take two. Hell, I’d take the whole bottle at once if it made her go away. How anyone can be so mean and hateful to their own child is beyond me. A long time ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to care about what that psycho bitch said about me. I was going to let it all go, move on with my life.
I was going to act like she didn’t exist, but when she was in my ear tearing me down, even in death, how was I supposed to ignore that? How was I supposed to escape my tormentor when I couldn’t even see her?
I lift the heavy glass to my lips and turn the bottle up again.
“That’s it, you stupid whore, drink up. Just like your daddy.” I jump from the bench in a fury.
“Leave me alone!” I grab my bottle and run to the only person that was ever able to protect me from her, Tom.
I trip over several graves before I find his. I can still hear her laughing, but it’s far off in the distance. I take another drink from the bottle, but this time, I notice that there’s a quarter of brown liquid left. Did I drink all of this?
The sound of the cricket and tree frogs distract m
e. I love living in the south, everything is so southern, no wait, that’s not right. Fuck it, I think before I start giggling. I plop heavily on the ground, rolling onto my stomach. I look up at the stone angel staring down at me, judging me.
A few deep breaths later, I find my voice. “I hate you,” I whisper. The words were unconvincing, even to my ears.
“You were the one person I trusted with my life, my heart, and my soul. Why did you stab me in the back? How could you?” I start sobbing loudly.
“You stomped on my heart and left it a mushed up mess all over the floor. You’re just like the rest of them. You swore that you would always protect me from the monsters, and wouldn’t become one.” I pound my fists against the ground. I can still hear the voices of our child-like selves, swearing to protect the other forever.
The pain is still fresh, still consuming every inch of me. “Why?” It’s the only question I can ask so I repeat it over and over again until I’m breathless.
I continue to cry and occasionally release a desperate scream. I can almost smell him lingering in the air, can almost hear his voice trying to soothe me in the way that only Tom could. After a while, my sobs subside. I pull myself up and lean against the angel. I pull from the bottle again; I’m too sober for this. I need more, something, anything to help dull the pain.
I pull the pills out of my pocket again. Opening the bottle, I notice there’s three left; before I left the apartment, there were at least ten. Did I really take them all? That’s impossible, I must have dropped some of them along the way.
I stare at the bars before finally saying fuck it and tipping the bottle up, consuming the rest of its contents. I toss the medicine container to the side and turn up the bottle to wash them down.
My head feels heavy and it’s getting harder to breathe, but I chalk it up to the humidity.
“So, what’s hell like?” I blurt, and then sputter with laughter.
“That’s an awfully bitchy thing to say, but I suppose I deserve that.” His voice sobers me. I drop the bottle of liquor, spilling some on the ground. My lungs seize, my heart stops. My eyes sting from not blinking.
Forever & More: The Friend Zone series Page 8