“Then what?”
“I scheduled an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. I did that Friday morning. I didn’t give myself much of a chance to think. All I knew was that I couldn’t face him ever again. I know my parents would’ve helped me but I couldn’t even face them at the time. I couldn’t face my baby. I . . . I . . . never.” I stop and try to collect myself. “I wanted no part of him. What I failed to see, at the time, was that I was giving up a part of me. I’ve had to live with that decision every day of my life since. Do you have any idea as to what kind of a personal hell that has been? Every time Charley had another baby, my other sisters, it was like a slap in the face. The worst, though . . .” I trail off, feeling my emotions hitting me full force again. “Watching my best friend, struggle to have a baby for nine years. Kyle, the guilt is unbearable. I can’t even talk to her about it. I can’t listen. I make a joke and look for a reason to get off the phone, or I try to change the subject in person.” I lay my head into my hands and let myself cry.
“I bet she would understand if you tell her what happened. Ava seems like a wonderful person, I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to feel this way one moment.” He rubs my back again then suddenly stops. “I don’t understand something, though.”
“What?” I lift my head back up.
“This has haunted you all of these years? You feel as if you made a big mistake, right?”
“Yes. Kyle, you have to understand, I believe that women, given the right situation, should have the right to choose. But it’s not something I could ever see myself doing. I wasn’t thinking.” I grab another tissue.
“Can I ask you why, then, you decided to take that pill this morning. If this has all been haunting you, if this is not you—why did you take it?” he raises his voice.
“I lied,” I say quickly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Well, I didn’t lie, I did take it. Then . . . I made myself throw it up. I thought I could do it. I couldn’t. I’m in a different place in my life. I’m not as selfish as I let on. Kyle . . . say something, please.” I reach up and touch his face. He pulls back.
Crack.
That was my heart.
“If you lied, why leave the box for me to find easily?” he asks apprehensively.
“If you recall correctly, you snatched it out of my hand.” I shift so that I’m facing him better. “Also, I wasn’t sure if you were being intentional in your actions. You know, you’re joking about marriage, waving the reasons behind buying such a big house in my face, at the same time, asking me if I like the house that you bought for your future wife. How could I not think that you have an ulterior motive? So . . . me leaving that box in there was my way of saying I wasn’t going to be trapped.”
“Christ, Ceese! I wasn’t trying to trap you!” He shoots off the bed and begins to pace. I lean back on my hands and watch him wear out the floor. He comes to a halt. “Ok. I can see how it definitely looked that way, but it’s really not the case.” He gets down on his knees in front of me and grasps my hips. I open my legs for him to come a little closer. “I don’t have a real good excuse, only that when I’m with you, I’m not thinking straight. Normal things that would usually cross my mind—responsible things—just don’t. I’m always careful. Maybe that’s because I’ve never been with someone I’ve felt this way about. I don’t know,” he adds quickly. “I don’t have the answer. It was irresponsible and I’m sorry.”
“Hey, we’re both at fault here.” I put my arms around his neck. “I could’ve just as easily reminded you. Guess I was in the same fog as you.” I smile.
“Ok. So from now, until you get on something, we will stop behaving like teenagers, deal?” He kisses my nose.
“Deal,” I agree. “Are we good, Kyle?” I ask for merit.
“You know, I think we are. It’s good that we talked about it right away, Ceese. Are you feeling ok, having discussed all of that?”
“I really am. Thank you.” I kiss him. “I think maybe we should get some sleep now. I’m exhausted,” I say looking over at the clock. It’s going on seven in the morning.
“Sounds good. Get up so I can pull the covers back.” He stands up and pulls me with him. I move out of the way and proceed to take my clothes off while he situates the bed. He turns around, holding his hand out to the bed for me. His jaw drops. “You know I’m going to fucking molest you now, right?” he asks as I climb in.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” I shoot him a playful wink. I watch as he strips down and climbs in, curling up behind me. His hands waste no time, having their way with me. Mmm . . .
Her hair fans over the pillows. Fast asleep, she’s making cute little noises. I suspect it’s from crying so much, she’s still a little clogged up. I can’t help the gleeful mood I’m in as I watch her—in my bed—while I iron her clothes. What? I can’t just hang them up wrinkled! Don’t laugh at me; I couldn’t sleep. Also, her bag of clothes was bothering me. I just imagined them all wrinkled and shit.
I also found something else all wrinkled up that I wasn’t expecting—past due bills. Not just past due, some were shut-off notices. It seems that if CiCi is embarrassed or uncomfortable about something, she lies her way through it. I don’t like that. I actually have a big problem with that. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I figured that out about her from the get go. I think what bothers me more is that she didn’t come to me. Not for money, but to help her figure things out. Yes, I would’ve tried to take care of it for her; however, I would’ve also tried to help her figure her way out of this slump. I know she’s struggling with the shop. She’s taken away some of Lindsay’s hours. Hours she has no right giving to my sister in the first place—she can’t afford it. My sister, God love her, that kid has a heart of gold. She’s been trying to help CiCi out in secret.
“What are you doing?” CiCi asks sounding half asleep. I look up from my ironing.
“Ironing.”
“You like to iron?” She stretches. Mmm.
“It’s relaxing.”
“Well, don’t be shy then, let me get you my clothes to do, too.” She pulls the covers back.
Boobies.
Wow. I really just thought that word, didn’t I? I swear to God, I was not like this before I met her. “I already have them.” I hold her blouse up for her to see.
“You went through my damn bag, Kyle? After I asked you not to?” She darts out of bed.
“Yes. I did. I also saw the bills that you didn’t want me to see.” I put the hanger in and place it over the back of the chair, until I bring them all in to the closet.
“Don’t bother hanging them up. Just put them right back in the bag.” She goes for her bag but I grab it first.
“You’re gonna run? Is that your answer for everything?” I ask. She gasps. I look up at her. Her eyes are wide and tearing up. Shit! “I mean with me, Ceese. I wasn’t referring to the past. I wasn’t even thinking about that, I swear.” I reach for her. She visibly relaxes. “Look, it’s not a big deal. You know that I know that you’ve been struggling. Did I know the extent? No. I do now. Let me help.”
“No. It’s not your problem. Don’t ever go through my shit again, okay? I don’t like it.”
“Fair enough. I wasn’t looking to find stuff, though. I just wanted to save your clothes from being terribly wrinkled.” I admit. She chuckles at me and shakes her head. I turn the iron off. “Now, I need you to do me a favor.” I put my hands back on hers.
“What’s that?”
“I need you to get back on my bed so I can wake you properly like I had planned.” I kiss her.
“Properly, huh? Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be something very improper?” She gives me a playful grin.
“It could be to others, but I think you’ll rather enjoy this. So much so, that whenever you stay with me, we’ll make this your alarm clock.” I waggle my eyebrows as she crawls back on to the bed. “Now open those gorgeous legs for me,” I or
der and settle myself onto my stomach as she does. My hands slide under her thighs and around to her hips. I grasp them and pull her forward, face planting myself into my favorite place. I look up at her under my eyelashes and watch her chest rise and fall quickly. I love watching her anticipate my moves. I love surprising her with moves she’s not expecting. I lace her sweet, plump lips with soft kisses. She lifts her ass off the bed, encouraging me. Flattening my tongue against her center, I give her one slow lick up it. She whimpers and begs. I’m not going to lie; I’m about to do the same. If my dick gets any harder right now, it’ll burn a hole into this bed. “Touch yourself, beautiful,” I command as I slide my hands off of her hips down to her mound. My left hand pulls back on her hood and my tongue darts out to play with her ring. Fuck, I love that little ring!
“Kyle, please!” She writhes and grasps the sheets.
“Touch your tits, now, Ceese!” I demand in a harsher tone and watch as she complies.
Tug, tug, rub, and roll . . .
I know she’s chanting that again—her lips are moving to it. I love all of her quirks, I really do. I move my eyes down to the task at hand . . . er, mouth. I lick up her folds and let my tongue softly play at her clit. CiCi slams her pussy into my face. I chuckle.
“What are you laughing about?” she asks, frustration lacing her tone.
“I believe I’ve just been pussy slapped.” I look up at her and grin.
“Yeah, well, get back down there; I’m not done slapping you.” She reaches forward and pushes my head down.
“So abusive . . .” I mutter teasingly. I go at her again but this time, I’m relentless: licking hard, biting, and blowing on her clit. “Fuck, you’re always so wet for me, B.” I plunge my tongue deep inside of her. She lets out a guttural groan that shoots right to my painfully, engorged dick. Christ, I’m not going to last much longer—I need to make her come! I pull my face back and slide two fingers inside of her. Her body arches to my intrusion. I climb up on my knees; fingers still in place and bring my left hand to lay on her mound. My thumb slides on to her clit and meticulously begins to rub it in circles. I reach inside of her, feeling for just the right spot. CiCi gasps and jerks and I know I’ve reached my destination. Slowly, I motion my fingers as if I’m saying “come here” with them. The irony is—I am, aren’t I?
“Oh God, oh yes, Kyle . . . right there,” she mewls. I swear to God, if you had asked me ten seconds ago if I thought CiCi could get any hotter, I would’ve said no. I would’ve also been wrong. She’s just planted her hands and pushed her body up in the air to rock into my fingers. Holy fuck, she’s gorgeous. I feel hypnotized, watching her. I snap out of it the moment her pussy clenches around my fingers. She throws her head back and gives into her orgasm with panting moans. It’s taking everything in me not to come while watching her. Finally, her body begins a slow descent as she comes down from her climax. I let my fingers slide out and give her clef a sweet kiss.
“I’m going to need you to turn over, Ceese. This is going to be fast and hard.” I warn. Poor baby looks spent as she complies. “All the way up and grab a hold of the headboard.” I shuffle my finger towards it as I grab a condom out of my nightstand. Sliding my hand up and down my shaft, I rip the packet with my teeth and roll on the condom, pinching the tip of it. Fuck, I’m so hard. I move behind her. Oh man, she’s perfect; spread so nicely for me, ass in the air, holding onto the bars. I run my fingers up her center, collecting some of her wetness and bringing it to her ass. “God, Ceese, I can’t wait to fuck this tight, little, pretty ass of yours.” I slip a finger in, then two. I watch as she welcomes my touch, leaning back into it. Hmmm . . . her whimpers drive me mad. Trying to control myself, I’m still slightly shocked that I can speak so candidly in bed with her. I would’ve never said that to another woman in a hundred years. But, CiCi isn’t just any woman, is she? “You want it too, don’t you?” I ask and bite my lip hard as I watch my fingers fuck her diligently. She moans lightly. Quickly, I pull them out and slap her ass. “Hold on, beautiful, this is going to be lightning speed.” And with that, I grasp her ass cheeks, pushing them up high, allowing the maximum exposure, and slam into her pussy. She lets out a scream that unleashes the beast in me and I fuck her harder than I’ve ever fucked anyone. Closing my eyes, I’m fueled by the slapping sound of her taking it from me. My balls tighten, “Gah!” The surge travels up into my cock and before I know it, I’m gasping for air as I find my release. I hear her scream my name as I ram into her again and again. Her pussy milks me in a way that would have angels singing if they could feel it. One last thrust and I collapse on top of her. CiCi continues to rock a little. Mmm . . . she always wants one more. I slide my hand underneath both of us and reach down, finding her clit. Her hand joins mine and we rub another one out of her together.
You know that feeling you have when you’re awake but your eyes aren’t open yet and you can feel it? No. Not that. Although, that is raring to go. I mean, feel someone staring at you? I’m always amazed how quickly we can go from a sound sleep to complete awareness.
“I’d find your pussy breath offensive if it wasn’t from my pussy being plastered all over your face,” CiCi says lackadaisically.
“Mmm . . . you have a way with whispering sweet nothings.” I smile; my eyes still closed.
“I do, don’t I? Listen, I’m going to need you to drive me to my car soon.” She brushes my hair off my forehead.
“Why?” My eyes pop open and I push myself up on my elbow.
“I have Sunday dinner at my parents in a few hours.”
I stare at her blankly.
She must know why I’m staring.
Jesus Christ, do I have to spell it out for her?
Yup.
“What time do we have to be there?” I’m going to go this route and see what happens. She immediately gets that same look on her face that she had at my parents’ house. “What time, Ceese?” I ignore it.
“I didn’t ask them if you could come,” she says quickly as if the thought just came to her.
“Well, here.” I reach over to the floor and grab her purse. “Call them and ask.”
“It’s such short notice.”
“Then cancel.” I suggest, trying to keep my irritation at bay.
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“It’s rude.”
“I think your parents are used to your behavior.” I whip open her zipper.
“Do not go into my purse!” She snatches it from me.
“Sorry, I thought I’d help you find your big girl pants.”
“I’m just not ready,” she states quietly.
“You’re thirty-four years old—get ready!” I snap.
“My age has nothing to do with this.”
“Make a decision.” I say through my teeth.
“You know, you’re getting all bent out of shape and my hesitation has nothing to do with you or me, so stop being a fucking asshole about it.” She yanks her phone out and tosses her bag on the floor. I slide around behind her as she makes her phone call, and plant soft kisses on her back. I love her back—it’s fucking gorgeous. My hands travel around and up to her breast. I cup them before letting my thumbs roll over her nipples. “Stop,” she whisper shouts and tries to push my hands away. “Mom—hi!” she says quickly into the phone, still smacking my hands away. I grasp at her more aggressively causing her to gasp and throw her head back on my shoulder. “Sorry, I dropped something. No . . . nothing new.” She tries to sound unaffected.
I lean into her ear. “Moms know everything, right?” I whisper. “I wonder if she can hear it in your voice.” I bite at her lobe. “I bet she can tell you’ve been fucked seven ways to Sunday.”
CiCi jerks her face towards mine, eyes wide open. “Mom, is there enough room for one more tonight . . . I . . . uh, um . . . I’d like to bring Kyle,” she finally spits out. “No, I’m fine. I’m just doing something,” she says quickly.
“Yeah, you’ll be doing my cock in a
minute.” I bite into her shoulder. She elbows me. I laugh. She joins. And . . . at this moment, I just fell a little harder. I hug her to me and hold her there for the rest of the conversation. The conversation that only ends because apparently, a dish towel went up in flames in my kitchen. “Shit, she’s not going to call 911, now is she?” I ask, slightly panicked.
“No. She is the reason I was hesitant, though.” She smiles back at me then, sighs.
“Why?”
“Because she will see us and run with it.” She leans forward to get up. “C’mon, pussy breath, let’s get cleaned up.” She holds her hand out to me.
“Okay. I think it’s time for you to get another dose of special mouthwash, yourself.” I wink at her than slap her ass.
“It’s good stuff; really whitens my teeth.”
“Got a lot of protein in it, too.”
“Wow, that is a plus!” she laughs and pulls me into the bathroom. I watch her ready the shower and I can’t help but worry. For some reason, she’s seen something in me that made her open up in ways that she hasn’t opened up in years. While I’m happy about this and certainly honored, I can’t help but worry that she won’t always see me in this light. What if, one day, she wakes up and I’m not who she was hoping I would be. This relationship thing is pretty new to both of us (in a born again way). I don’t have any baggage but I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Lastly, what if I’m just a phase for her? I’ve said it from the start; she could possibly destroy me.
“Kyle.” CiCi turns to me. We’ve just pulled up to her parents’ house and she’s been a ball of nervous energy the whole trip here.
“Everything will be fine. I’m not such a bad guy. I don’t think they will hate me or anything.” I grab her hand and bring it up to my lips to plant several kisses.
In the Mix Page 19