Then she noticed the milkweeds.
No formal gardens here, or if there once were, they had long since given way to islands of tall grasses and unchecked patches of milkweeds running the length of the wall facing Charlotte.
Her father would be horrified, and even her mother would not have approved of the tangled mess. Charlotte sighed. She supposed that for the women within these grey walls, the gardens outside were the least of their problems. And the same is true of me.
But milkweeds? What a bane they were to gardeners, their stubborn roots sending out crafty runners, the offspring only slightly easier to pull than the mother plant herself. And they spread not only by runners, but by their prolific seeds that filled the air every autumn. Apparently that was what had happened here—milkweed had been introduced and, left unchecked, had taken over most of the lawn.
Couldn’t they at least hire some boy with a scythe to come and cut the pests down? Charlotte wondered. Milkweeds were pretty enough when the flowers bloomed, but when the grey-green pods aged to a dull silver, the reedy stalks held little aesthetic value at all.
Perhaps that solicitor friend of Uncle’s had given false information about this place. Or Aunt Tilney had gotten it wrong somehow. Her aunt had confided in hushed tones that this place was of better quality and more discreet than others like it. Charlotte gathered their London solicitor had procured the recommendation for her. Her father knew nothing of the arrangements, other than to exact Charlotte’s promise of secrecy and anonymity for as long as possible. Otherwise he seemed to care little of where Charlotte was to go or how she was to provide for herself. It was clear he could barely wait to get her out of his sight.
Charlotte wondered if her mother would recognize the man she had been married to for so many years. Not that Gareth Lamb had changed so much physically, except to grow a bit grey in his sideburns and a bit paunchier around the middle, but his demeanor was markedly changed. He had been stern—self-righteous even—before this happened, and now was all the more. The whole of his concern revolved around two points: how such a thing would likely ruin his career and how it would ruin Bea’s chance at a suitable marriage.
I am dreadfully sorry for it. I am. I suppose Father’s anger is right and just. But it does not feel like it. If only you were here to soften him. To accompany me.
But her mother was dead. So Charlotte walked alone.
A single knock brought to the door a thin, plain-faced woman a few years Charlotte’s senior who quickly led her from the entry hall, through a large dining room, and into a small study with the words, “The matron shall be in directly.” And, indeed, not two minutes later, a severe but attractive woman in her forties wearing a dark dress and tightly bound hair walked in, her officious air proclaiming her title. The woman’s stern appearance brought Charlotte some disquiet, but when she settled her gaze on Charlotte, there was grim kindness in her expression.
“I am Mrs. Moorling, matron of the Manor Home. May I be of assistance?”
Charlotte arose on shaky legs and pressed a letter from the London solicitor and a bank note into the woman’s hand. This was her only reply.
Mrs. Moorling slipped the money into her desk drawer without comment or expression, then glanced briefly at the letter the solicitor had written at her uncle’s request. “I see. I’m afraid we haven’t a private room available at the moment, but you shall have one as soon as possible. In the meantime, you will need to share.”
“I understand.”
“Your name is—” the woman scanned the letter—“Miss . . . Smith?”
“Yes, Smith. Charlotte Smith.”
Mrs. Moorling paused only a moment before continuing, again with no change in her expression, though Charlotte had the distinct impression the woman knew she was lying about her name. “Before I can admit you, there are a few questions I need to ask.”
Charlotte swallowed.
“Is this your first occasion availing yourself upon such an institution?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Not ‘of course,’ Miss Smith. There are many who do not learn from experience. I must tell you that the Manor Home for Unwed Mothers is a place for deserving unmarried women with their first child. Our goal is to rehabilitate our patients for a morally upright life.”
Charlotte looked down, feeling the heat of embarrassment snake up her neck and pulse in her ears. She heard the sound of paper rustling and knew the matron was again reading the letter.
“This letter attests to your character and background, though I haven’t the time to verify it at the moment.”
“Mrs. Moorling. I assure you. I have never been in such a predicament before . . . never conceived myself in such a predicament.”
Poor choice of words, Charlotte thought grimly.
She forced herself to meet the older woman’s eyes. Mrs. Moorling looked directly at her for a moment, then nodded.
“Gibbs will find a place for you to sleep.”
Gibbs, the plain, painfully thin young woman, led her back through the entry hall and to the right, to the street-facing wing of the L-shaped building. Hurrying to keep up, Charlotte followed her through the long corridor to a door midway down its length. Charlotte looked into the dim room—once a portion of a fine drawing room, perhaps—with a high ceiling and broad hearth. The bedchamber held only one narrow bed, the width less than Charlotte’s height. A small table with a brass candlestick sat on either side of the bed, and one chair stood against the nearest wall. Three simple wooden chests lined the opposite wall, no doubt used to store the belongings of the room’s temporary lodgers.
“You’ll be sharing with Mae and Becky. Both slight girls—you’re a fortunate one. They must be off visiting in one of the other rooms. They’ll be in by and by. We have a water closet below stairs. But there’s usually a wait for it. Chamber pots under the bed for late-night emergencies. We know how you lying-in girls get toward the end. You’re responsible for emptying your own, at least until your ninth month or so. Our physicians believe activity is healthy. All the girls have duties, long as you’re able. You’ll get your assignment at breakfast tomorrow. Eight o’clock. Any questions?”
Charlotte’s mind was whirling with them, but she only shook her head.
“Good night, then.” Gibbs let herself from the room.
There is no sense in crying over spilt milk.
Why bewail what is done and cannot be recalled?
—SOPHOCLES
CHAPTER 2
She is dreaming or remembering—she isn’t sure which, but the sensation is delightful. She is dancing with a young gentleman at Sharsted Court, a gentleman whose name she can’t recall, or perhaps never knew. She feels the polite pressure of his hand on her gloved palm and sees the warm admiration in his shy glances. In fact, she feels admiring glances follow her as she moves effortlessly through the patterns and steps of the dance. She feels not, she hopes, bloated vanity but rather surprise and pleasure at the attention paid her. Her sister, Beatrice, is not in attendance this night. Beautiful Bea, home with a cold. She is sorry, but really, how heavenly to feel so sought after, so desirable, all loveliness in her sky blue silk. Suitors aplenty, all her life ahead of her.
The music ends, and the young gentleman, golden eyelashes against thin pale cheeks, escorts her from the floor. She catches a glimpse of green eyes and rust-gold hair, but when she looks again, another partner has already taken his place. This one boldly thrusts his hand toward her, his brown eyes gleaming confidently, impudently. She turns away but feels his hand fall against her shoulder and turn her back around. She wants to flee, to refuse the presumptuous hand.
Instead, she wakens.
There, in the dimness before Charlotte’s eyes, dangled a hand. Someone in bed beside her had thrown an arm across her shoulder. Bea? No, her mind told her. You’re not home any longer. Dread and black fear swelled and sank deep within her.
Please. Please, let it all be a dream. Oh, God, please . . .
S
he reached under the blanket and ran her hand across her midriff, hoping it would still be smooth and flat.
Please.
Her hand found the hard rounded mound and she winced her eyes tightly shut.
It cannot be. It cannot be.
But it was.
Charlotte, lying on her side on the edge of the droopy bed, again opened her eyes. The hand was still before her, eerily like the one in her dream. Gently, she pushed the arm off her shoulder and scooted farther still, until she feared she might fall off the bed. Her back ached. Unable to get comfortable, she turned over again, the effort creaking the bed and taxing her more than imaginable a half year before. She found herself nose to nose with Mae, who had obviously eaten onions for supper. Another young woman clung to the opposite edge of the bed. Three women, six souls, in one small bed. Like sausages being turned, one after the other in a pan, Mae turned over to her other side, and the third woman followed suit without waking. Charlotte couldn’t recall the younger woman’s name. A girl, really.
Charlotte had met Mae not long after she had gotten into bed, plumping, then folding the pillow to try to get comfortable. The pretty, petite woman, near her own age, Charlotte guessed, had come in, mumbled her name, and promptly climbed in beside Charlotte as though they had been sharing a bed their whole lives. Charlotte surprised herself by falling asleep soon after. She did hear the second girl come in some time later, but was too tired to acknowledge her. All she wanted was sleep. Because in sleep she could return to her old life.
Charlotte was just drifting back to sleep when she heard a scream in some distant part of the manor. She sat up so suddenly that Mae awoke beside her and groaned.
“Lie still, would you?”
“I heard something.”
“What?”
“Someone screaming.”
“Better get used to it.” Mae turned over, her long auburn plait landing on Charlotte’s pillow. “Babies always gettin’ born in the night here.”
“What?”
“Never heard a woman in childbirth afore?”
“Oh. No, I haven’t.”
Mae didn’t respond, and Charlotte surmised that the woman had fallen back to sleep already. Charlotte sat still, listening. But she heard no more and lay back down for a few more hours of fitful rest.
In the morning, Charlotte awoke to find herself alone in bed. She arose and dressed quickly in her grey day dress, then followed the sound of footsteps and feminine voices through the entry hall and into the large room she had passed through yesterday on her way to Mrs. Moorling’s study. The room had doors on either end and was filled with tables—serving, apparently, as both dining room and workroom. At a long table against one wall, Charlotte followed the example of the others and filled a small plate with bread and a stringy hunk of cold mutton. She also poured herself a cup of weak but, thankfully, warm tea. She sat at a table alone, dreading the questions that would undoubtedly come from the other girls. She had barely eaten half her bread when Gibbs, the assistant who had shown her to her room the night before, stopped before her, a ledger of some sort in her hands. She spoke with cool efficiency, her dull eyes glancing only briefly at Charlotte before returning to the bound ledger before her.
“What use are you, then?”
“Pardon?”
“What are you fit for? Laundry, cooking, sewing . . .?”
“I am skilled enough with needlework, I suppose. Embroidery and the—”
“Very well. Mending stockings for you, then. Second table—off you go.”
Charlotte took another bite of bread, skipped the congealed mutton altogether, and drank the rest of her tea. She took her time returning her cup and utensils to the sideboard and then, when she could think of no other excuse, stepped toward the table Gibbs had indicated. As she walked, she looked at the women’s heads, pulled in close like a tightly cinched drawstring purse. She heard their whispers and laughter and feared they were talking about her. The first to raise her head and look in Charlotte’s direction was a fair-haired woman with a long, angular face and surprisingly kind eyes.
“Here you are, love. Have a seat.” She moved her darning things, clearing a place for Charlotte beside her.
“Thank you,” Charlotte said quietly, eyes downcast.
“You’re a new one.”
“Yes.” Charlotte forced a smile and bent to her task, trying to find a stocking with enough sound material left to mend.
“I’m Sally. Sally Mitchell.” The blond woman smiled a toothy smile, her prominent front teeth protruding and not quite straight. Still it was a friendly smile. Unlike the narrow-eyed scrutiny she felt aimed at her from the others.
“I am Miss Charlotte . . . Smith.”
“Miss Charlotte, is it?” a second woman broke in.
Charlotte glanced up quickly and took in a mop of tight brown curls, a sharp nose, and thin mouth.
“And I’m Lady Bess Harper.” The woman affected a haughty voice and dramatically extended her hand as though for a kiss.
The other women laughed.
Bess slumped back in her chair and gave Charlotte a hard look. “I wonder you’re here at Milkweed Manor, then, and not up the road.”
“What do you mean?”
“Queen Charlotte’s up the road at Bayswater Gate. I would have thought you’d go there, what with your name and all.”
“Queen Charlotte’s?” Charlotte repeated, confused.
Mae, her pretty bedmate from the night before, said, “Maybe she thinks one queen is enough in a place, and she wants to be ours.”
“No, I . . .”
At this, Bess Harper leaned in, her thin lips disappearing in a frown of disdain. “Queen Charlotte’s Lying-in Hospital. Telling me you never heard of it?”
“No. Should I?”
Bess looked pointedly at her middle, and Charlotte fought the urge to look away in shame. She threaded her needle and said weakly, “It is my first time.”
“Sure it is,” Mae said, “just like the lot of us.”
Bess grinned wickedly, “Oh, me too. You never heard me say otherwise.”
Sally leaned toward Charlotte and explained gently, “They only takes girls what haven’t gotten themselves caught breeding before.”
“They aim to reform us here,” Bess said. “Put us on the straight and narrow and all that.”
“One fall they can forgive.” Sally sighed. “But two and you’re done for.”
“Yes,” Charlotte said. “I believe the matron said the Manor Home was for ‘deserving unmarried women with their first child.’”
“Deserving? I’m deserving all right,” Bess said. “How ’bout the lot of you?”
Mae nodded her head. “Very, very.”
“I believe we’re all deserving a cup o’ tea about now, don’t you agree?” Bess said.
“Aye.” Sally grinned and rose to fetch some. “And jam tarts besides.”
From time to time, Charlotte glanced around the workroom, taking an inventory, of sorts, of the two dozen or more girls. She was curious as to why she hadn’t seen the young girl who had shared her bed last night. Surely her time had not already come.
“Mae, might I ask the name of the other girl who shares our room?”
“Young Becky, you mean.”
“Yes. I don’t see her about, do I?”
“No. It’s her morning, I’m afraid.”
“Her morning? She’s delivering right now?”
“Nay. Her morning to be examined by one of them blood and bone men, you know.”
“Oh . . .”
“Better her than me.” Mae shuddered.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
Gibbs approached the table and tapped her ledger with a blunt, ink-stained finger. “Miss Smith, you will be seen next.”
“Pardon me?”
“For your examination. All the girls must be seen by one of our physicians.”
“Oh. I see.”
&n
bsp; “He is just finishing up with another patient. Wait here, and I’ll call you when he’s ready.” Gibbs strode briskly away.
Charlotte sat without moving, watching her go.
“Why, you look frightened half to death.” Sally laid her hand on Charlotte’s. “’Tis nothin’ to be scared of.”
“Unless she gets Dr. Preston,” Mae said. “That man’s like an orphan in a candy shop, all eyes and hands and lickin’ his lips.”
“S’pose he figgers, why not—ain’t the jar been opened already?” Bess’s sharp face was expressive. “A bit more used up won’t do any harm.”
Charlotte swallowed. “Are you suggesting this . . . Dr. Preston . . . takes advantage of the girls here?”
“I’m not suggesting a thing,” Bess said. “Only sayin’ you best watch your backside, underside, and all the rest like.”
“He’s never bothered me,” Mae said.
“Well, you’re not half the looker I am, are ya?”
“Well, then, I’m thankful I’m not.”
“Have they no midwives here?” Charlotte asked.
Bess smirked. “Oh, a country girl, ey?”
“They once had some,” Sally answered. “But not at present.”
“Do they . . .? I mean, I have never been ‘examined’ before. Not . . . like that. Do they . . .? I mean, will I be asked to . . .?”
“Take off your drawers?” Bess grinned.
Charlotte inclined her brow and swallowed nervously.
“I hate to break it to you, birdy, but when the babe comes, you won’t be wearing drawers or petticoats or much of anything else for that matter.”
“Hush, now,” Sally interrupted. “Don’t scare her more than she already is. Don’t fret, Charlotte. They let you wear your nightdress, though ’tis likely to be spoilt.”
“As for the examination,” Mae said, “it depends on which man you get.”
“Are there two physicians?”
“And a surgeon.”
“The young physician is real gentleman-like,” Mae said.
Bess snorted. “Green, you mean. He’s barely more than a boy. I don’t think he’s ever seen a woman in all her natural glory.”
Lady of Milkweed Manor Page 2