by Claire Adams
“It’s a good way to get outside yourself, even if you can’t bear the thought of being without your routine.” He smiled, but it was uncertain, his green eyes shaded with an emotion I couldn’t read. I liked this side of Cash Ogden. I figured there had to be a softer, more introspective side to him, considering that incredible library room at the end of the hall and the fact that he spent all day alone and locked inside his own head the way I did, but this was the first time I’d seen it. On the outside, he seemed like a distant, rough-and-tumble cowboy, and that definitely was part of who he was, but there was another side to him that I realized I was desperate to see and get to know. I hoped this would be the first of many interesting conversations between us.
“Reading is a great escape,” I agreed. “I use it all the time.”
He nodded, his eyes staying on mine for a moment longer so I could appreciate how gorgeous they were—every time I thought I’d appreciated them enough, we made eye contact again and I found myself even more breathless—before digging back into his soup. I looked down at my own food as well but watched him from the tops of my eyes as he slowly and methodically devoured his soup. He even had another serving, smiling at me when I mentioned how nice it was to see a man with a healthy appetite. After we’d finished, he sat back in his chair and slapped his belly.
“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of bouillabaisse or know what it’s supposed to taste like, but the dish you made is the best thing I’ve eaten in a long time,” he said.
The color traveled up from my neck and burned in my cheeks at the compliment, and I couldn’t keep my lips from spreading into a wide smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“This was nice, too.” He pointed to me, then to himself, then to me again. “Getting to know each other a little.” His face had changed, and I could see more of that introspective man who enjoyed quiet pursuits like traveling vicariously through whatever landscape the newest book in his library offered him. I wanted to dig even deeper, but didn’t want to make Cash feel uncomfortable.
“I enjoyed it too,” I replied.
He looked down at his hands. “Maybe we could do this more often.” He peeked up at me again, and I was surprised to see color blooming in his tanned cheeks as well. The blush made him even more attractive than he already was with his knockout eyes, freckles, and devastatingly broad shoulders leading down to muscular arms that were perfect for literally sweeping a girl off her feet. “I’d be happy to pay for ingredients if you’d be willing to cook the meal. Whatever you like. We could make it part of our routine to sit around the table in the evening and chat about the ranch and life in general.”
I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep another huge smile from spreading across my face, but my heart was a different matter. It was beating so hard in my chest, I waited for it to soar out of my ribcage. I hadn’t realized how desperate I’d been to form a connection with this man until this moment when I finally had that connection in the works. It wasn’t just about learning more about his life on the ranch so I could write a realistic character for my book—that was only part of it. I really wanted to know who this man was. I wanted us to feel comfortable around each other enough that we could share pieces of our lives. I was still in contact with most of the people I’d met and worked with on my research trips. I’d even hosted a few of them in my apartment—after paying someone to come in to clean and organize the place from top to bottom, of course—and shown them around New York City. I wanted the same for Cash and me.
“That sounds amazing,” I said. “I would love that.”
He smiled, the warmth infusing his features with a subtle glow that made him even more attractive than he already was. “Well, alright then. I’m making that part of my routine. That means it’s set in stone.”
I giggled at him, and he smiled a little more, showing off straight white teeth. When I went to gather the dishes, he took mine out of my hand.
“If you’re doing the cooking, I’m doing the cleaning. That’s only polite. And I won’t have it any other way.”
I shook my head. “You’ve spent all day working outside. The least I can do is help you.”
He smiled again, and it got my heart going again to see it together with the glimmer in his emerald eyes. “You wash, and I’ll dry and put away.”
“Deal,” I replied, and we got to work, chattering and laughing until the job was done.
Chapter Eleven
Cash
Morning, Late July
I didn’t get out to Eric’s place too often these days. I kept so busy on the ranch that he usually came out to see me whenever he had some free time to help out where he could. But he had an issue with his fence around the back of his small property and needed another pair of hands to set it right again. No use paying someone to do work you could manage on your own. I had a few hours to spare in between feeding and watering the horses, though I needed to get back to the ranch as soon as I could to get on the afternoon chores. There was always so much damned work to be done. I liked to be kept busy, but damn. I just needed to get out of the hole losing those animals had put me in so I could afford to hire some help again.
We were out back sweating and toiling on that fence line, me thinking how thankful I was that Eric didn’t own a piece of property as large as what I had. He owned a small house in town with a modest backyard big enough for a picnic table and a dog, but not much else. Not that he owned either of those things. He liked to say that if he wanted to hang around a bunch of animals, he’d come up to the ranch.
We didn’t talk much about anything past the goings on in town—he knew a lot more about that than I did, as I tended to steer clear of Jackson proper unless I couldn’t avoid it—until we were sipping glasses of ice water during a short break from sinking fence posts into the ground. It would only be another hour or so before the work was done, but I’d been working since about 5 that morning and needed something to drink and a minute to rest my aching arms and shoulders.
“I guess you’ve noticed I haven’t asked about Hailey in a while,” Eric said, coming right out of the blue with the comment, so I looked sideways at him.
I made a noncommittal noise. I honestly hadn’t noticed it at all, but Eric clearly had something to say right now on the matter. I looked away from him to stare hard at the fence line. It was coming along nicely. Only another hour until we were done, in my estimation.
“I didn’t want to pressure you by continuing to ask about her and how things were going.”
“I appreciate that,” I said, glancing back at him. His dark eyes were elsewhere, so I looked out past the yard. It had to be strange to spend so much time in a place where you could see other people living their lives right next to yours. Unnerving wasn’t the right word to describe it, but it was close.
“Things are actually going much better,” I continued. “We started eating dinner together at night after we both finish our work for the day.” She actually kept on working into the wee hours most nights, but I tried to be in bed no later than 9 o’clock. That was another thing she ribbed me about—her being a night owl and me being an early bird. Neither of us could come up with a way to describe Eric, who wasn’t really either one of those extremes.
“Oh yeah?” Eric said, smiling over at me. “How’s that been?”
I mumbled that it was just fine.
“Who’s doing the cooking? You or her?”
“She does the cooking, and she’s great at it. She has all these recipes I never heard of before, but they always taste amazing once she’s done.” My free hand went to my stomach, which was still plenty flat but might not be for long considering how much food Hailey was cooking for me every night. You’d think the girl was providing for an army, not just a hungry cowboy ready for some grub at the end of a long day of work. “I haven’t eaten this well since I left my parents’ house.” If I was being honest, Hailey even had my dear sweet mama beat when it came to putting together a meal, not that I’d ever admit that o
ut loud.
“Y’all talk, too?” Eric’s smile was too bright to stare at for long. I cut my eyes away, but that didn’t discourage him in the least bit. “Or do you just show up to the table with your appetite?”
I tilted my head back to finish the rest of my water before I answered. Truth was, we found so much to talk about, we stayed at the table for at least an hour after we finished the last bites on our plates discussing books we’d read and places Hailey had traveled. She was surprisingly well-traveled for someone so young, and she described every place she’d been like she was writing a scene in her book. I could picture it all in my own head, which must mean she was one hell of a writer. I didn’t mind the fact that I hadn’t been out of the state of Wyoming very often in my life—I could probably count the times on one hand—but she certainly had places she wanted to go and things she wanted to do with her life. I had to admire that adventurous spirit in her, which I’d never have found out about if I hadn’t happened to wander into the fragrant aroma of her cooking up that fish stew several weeks ago.
“We talk plenty,” I replied, and set my glass down on the window ledge. He desperately needed a table or something out here. I didn’t know how he got by without spending half his day outside. “I’ve gotten to know quite a bit about her over the last several weeks. She’s definitely still a slob, but she’s smart and nice too. Not to mention she can whip up a dinner that will knock you flat. I can’t believe she came all the way out here from New York just to write about the kinds of things I do every day. Seems a boring thing to write about, but I’m sure she’ll find a way to pretty it up.”
Eric’s smile hadn’t dimmed at all. If anything, it had gotten even larger than before, his white teeth flashing in the sun. I knew that troublemaking glint in his eye from years of watching him start shit just so he could step back to see what would happen. He pushed his sweaty blond hair off his forehead and finished his own water before he picked up with his side of the conversation, steering it in whatever direction he’d had in mind since the beginning.
“It’s sounding like you might be liking this girl as more than just a roommate,” he said, lifting his sandy eyebrows at me as he wiped the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief.
My own eyebrows tightened up, but I left the rest of my expression alone. I hated the way he could read me so easily. I hadn’t meant to share that part of what was going on. It felt private, like something me and Hailey should keep protected between us. I didn’t know how she felt. It seemed as though she liked me just fine as a dinner companion and that was it. I didn’t want to upset the applecart, as my mama would say, and make her uncomfortable by turning the situation into something it wasn’t. She was here to do a job, not find a boyfriend.
“I have to admit that I am starting to like her in a way that has nothing to do with our landlord-tenant relationship.” I kicked at the dirt as Eric let out a triumphant whoop. “But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna do something about it.”
Eric’s face crumpled into a hard frown, his eyes racing over every inch of my face. “What? Why not? You got the perfect setup. She’s cute and living in your house already. It wouldn’t be hard to move things to the next level.”
“That’s just it, though,” I said. “Moving things to the next level will upset the way things are right now, and I like how things are. We share a meal at night and talk for a few hours before I go to bed. It’s comfortable, and she doesn’t expect much more from me than that I bring my growling belly to the table, and I don’t expect much more from her than that she cooks something tasty to share. I like how easy that is.” I wiped the sweat from the back of my neck as I thought about everything I’d just said. I wanted more, but not if it meant ruining what we had right now, and not if it meant making her feel uncomfortable in my house, like I was using the fact that she was stuck there with me to prey on her. “And I don’t think it’s right for me to go after a relationship with her while she’s living in my house. She’s paid to be there. Ain’t it wrong to start using that as a way to get a date?”
Eric laughed at me, still looking plenty disappointed, his dark eyes continuing their work of assessing every inch of my expression. “You got the perfect opportunity right now, Cash, and you’re gonna blow it over this shit? You’re backing down from a woman who showed up on your doorstep that’s smart, pretty, and can cook well enough to keep you coming back for more every night. Tell me that ain’t the perfect setup.”
“There ain’t nothing perfect about it, not the setup and not her,” I said, and had to pause a moment to let the heat in my words cool a little. “I like her just fine, but she’s still a slob and belongs over on the East Coast. As soon as she’s done researching for her next book, she’ll head back over there and get on with her life.” I sounded madder than I was, but I couldn’t help it.
“Sounds like an excuse to me,” Eric fired back, his dark eyes glittering in the ample sun. We didn’t have much more work to do, and right now I just wanted to get it done so I could get back to the ranch and away from this interrogation. Hailey had mentioned making stuffed peppers tonight, whatever those were. I was sure they’d be good if everything else she’d made since that first night with the fish stew and crusty bread was any indication.
“It ain’t no excuse, just the way things are,” I insisted. “And I’m happy with the way things are.”
“You don’t look it. You look like a man who wants to get his hands on a hot girl who ain’t from around here.”
“I agree that she’s a great woman. Any man would be lucky to have her provided that they don’t care about the mess she’d leave behind.” I smiled to think of just how sloppy she was, though I felt anxious at the thought of her chaos spreading around my house, first in the guest bedroom and then in the bathroom. I hadn’t found anything out of place in the library or the kitchen after the first few incidents. That was progress. But I didn’t imagine anything existed on this earth that could help the mess she created in her own private spaces. “But that don’t mean I’m going to try to jump into bed with her. She has a job to do, and so do I. We can enjoy each other’s company without letting things get too out of hand.” I was trying to convince myself as much as I was trying to convince him.
Eric shook his head again, raking me with a look like I was the sorriest son of a bitch he’d ever seen. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this considering how fearless you’ve been your whole life when it came to riding a horse or taking a tackle out on the football field, but I’m starting to wonder if you aren’t just a damned coward when it comes to going after a woman.”
That got my hair up, and I shot some of my own fire his way, my eyebrows pulled down over my narrowed eyes. “I don’t see what not wanting to just hop into bed with a woman I got a professional relationship with has to do with being a coward, Eric. Not all of us are busy racking up numbers and whoring around town with anything in a dress. I know you can’t understand why I wouldn’t want to take advantage of the situation Hailey’s in, but that don’t mean I’m a less of a man because of it.”
His face crumpled into a sharper frown, his dark eyes going squinty with his rising annoyance as he shot the heat right back in my direction. “Goddamn, Cash, why is it always your go-to insult to call me a man whore? I’m good at talking to women. Always have been, probably always will be. There ain’t nothing wrong with that. I’m tired of you making it sound like I should be ashamed of how easily I can approach the opposite sex.”
We glared at each other for a moment longer before we cut our eyes away, me staring out at the fence where we’d almost finished our work for the day. I went to knock back the rest of my water, only to see I’d already finished it, leaving me with nothing to do but think hard about everything Eric had just said. I didn’t like to admit it, but he was right. Not about me being a coward, but about how I always resorted to the same insult about his character. He did run through women a lot faster than I would, but it wasn’t quite as bad as I made it sound.<
br />
I looked over at him again, cutting all the fire out of my glance, and found he’d done the same and was smiling a little as he met my eyes.
“I didn’t mean nothing by all that, Eric. You know you’re like a brother to me. I respect the hell out of you and just want you to feel the same about me.” I let out a deep sigh before I went on. “This situation with Hailey isn’t easy. I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret later. It might just be better to let her do her research and get on back to the city at the end of it.”
Eric’s smile grew as I spoke, getting so wide the dimples were showing in his cheeks. “You know I respect you, Cash. I just want to see you happy, too. The last few months have been pretty tough on you with the stuff that went on out at the farm. And Hailey showing up just seems like an opportunity you shouldn’t pass up. But if it bothers you that much, I won’t bring it up again.” But there was something shining in his dark eyes that I didn’t quite trust. That shine seemed to imply that he was actually going to do exactly the opposite, which was just like him.
I clapped him on the back and smiled myself. “Let’s get back on that fence line. Speaking of the farm, I got work to do out there once I’m done here.”
I grunted and rolled his eyes, but followed me out to the rear of the yard when I started in that direction.
Chapter Twelve
Hailey
That Evening
I’d made another successful meal—lasagna from an old family recipe with salad and French bread—that Cash and I had shared along with a solid two hours of conversation, starting with the updates on the farm and going on to travel, books, and our lives growing up on opposite sides of the country. I was really enjoying our nights together, even if he did always have to bow out early to go to bed. It wasn’t even 9:30, and he was already in bed. I had a several more hours’ worth of writing to do tonight—I was a night owl who worked best after the sun went down as long as I had a hot mug of something caffeinated steaming on the desk next to me. But Cash did get up only a short while after I went to bed—some ungodly time like 3:30 or 4; just the thought made me sick to my stomach—so I cut him a little slack about going to bed before the sky was completely dark. I mean, I still gave him a hard time, but it was only meant to be in good fun, which he seemed to understand, as he gave it right back to me about being a creature of the night fueled by coffee and sugar.