by T V Hartwell
“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” he said, moving in close to the right of her then leaning sideways against the bar so that he could face her.
“Oh, not at all. I just sat down. The bartender hasn’t even taken my order yet,” she said just as the bartender walked over to them.
“Hello, how are you, Mr. Weinstock?” the bartender said looking at Adam, recognizing him as a familiar face at the swanky establishment.
“Hey, man. I’m good. Do they ever give you any time off?” Adam asked with a chuckle. “I swear, without fail, whenever I show up, this guy’s always here,” he said jovially to Amanda in front of the young, handsome mixologist.
“Well, until I’m able to catch a break and make a living as an actor, I try to get in as many hours as I can. I’ve gotta pay the bills somehow.”
“Well, at least you’ve got a mean martini to lean back on. This guy makes the best one in town,” Adam said, looking at Amanda before turning back to the man. “Without you here, this place would go out of business.”
“I think that would be highly unlikely, sir, but I appreciate the compliment. What can I get you two? Wait, let me guess,” the bartender said jokingly to Adam already knowing, a martini, of course, without saying it.
Adam chuckled. “Yes, the usual. What would you like?” he said looking at Amanda and taking the empty stool beside her on the right.
“I’ll just have a sparkling water, please.”
“You got it. Coming right up,” the bartender said before stepping away to fill their order.
“I’ve already had one drink too many tonight,” Amanda said, feeling a little guilty for having ordered hard liquor earlier, her pregnancy temporarily slipping her mind.
“Oh, yeah?” Adam said, noticing Amanda’s sullen demeanor. “So how are you? I’ve been concerned about you; I heard about the wedding. I’m so sorry about how everything went down.”
“Oh, don’t . . .” Amanda mumbled back, trailing off. Adam furrowed his brow slightly and leaned in closer, but he couldn’t make out what she’d said.
“I’ve wanted to reach out and call you, but I figured it wasn’t my place. You were pretty upset with me the last time we saw each other, and rightfully so. I sincerely apologize for my behavior at Koi. I was way out of line.”
“It’s okay, Adam. Don’t worry about it. I guess . . . I guess—” Amanda stopped, becoming emotional and tearing up. “Maybe I should’ve listened to you when you said there was something about Jake that you knew and wanted to tell me,” she said, as she patted the corner of her eyes with her fingertips.
Adam looked down, rested his arms on the bar and pressed his fingers together as he contemplated what she might know and if what she knew was what he had wanted to tell her all along. But he didn’t volunteer anything. He allowed her to steer the direction of the conversation.
“First, let me back up to say thanks for coming to meet me and on such short notice. I know how busy you are, but it’s good to see you,” she said, grabbing his left arm and squeezing it tenderly.
“Good to see you too,” he said looking directly into her eyes to punctuate the sincerity of his words.
“But I do have an ulterior motive.” Amanda took a deep breath. “So I had dinner tonight with a good friend who happens to know your assistant Antonio.”
“Oh, really? Who is it?”
“Charlie. I don’t think you’ve ever met him.”
“I vaguely recall the name. He lives here? In LA?”
“Yeah. He’s a little flamboyant.”
“Charlie, Charlie,” Adam repeated trying to recollect him. “Oh, is he the one who’s like a fashion stylist or something like that?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“Okay. I recall you talking about him when were together. He knows Lucy too, right?”
“Right, so—”
“Here you go,” the bartender said, interrupting them to place their drinks before them.
“Perfect,” Adam said, as he reached for his martini and took it in hand.
“Can I get you anything else?” the man said, moving his eyes from side to side to look at them both.
“I’m good, thanks,” Amanda said.
“All set for now, my man. Thanks,” Adam concurred.
“All right. Well, please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”
“Thank you,” Adam and Amanda both answered.
“So, as I was saying—” Amanda began before being interrupted again, this time by Adam raising his glass to toast. But he kept it simple sensing that the moment was heavy and urgent.
“Salud!”
“Salud!” Amanda said back before they clinked their glasses together.
“Sorry to interrupt. Please. Continue,” Adam said after they each took a sip of their drinks.
“Okay, so, Charlie and Antonio are good friends apparently. And Antonio told Charlie some pretty . . . disturbing things, to say the least.”
“Disturbing things about what?” Adam said, but already knowing where the conversation was headed.
“Disturbing things about Jake . . . and about Jake’s best friend, Kirby. Did you know anything about Antonio dating Kirby?”
Adam stared back at her solemnly, sighed, and then nodded his head slightly. “Mmm hmm.”
“You knew?” Amanda asked, incredulous.
“I did.”
“For how long? I mean, how long had they been dating?”
“Well, they met on set when they worked on Hell-bent. I’d hired them both as production assistants at the time, and I believe they hooked up or started to during or shortly thereafter . . . after we shot the film, I mean.”
“That was over three years ago, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. Pretty much.”
“Kirby had a girlfriend all that time.”
“I know. Antonio told me that Kirby was in the closet and didn’t want anyone to know about their relationship. They’d been going at it for a while, but I know Antonio was growing tired of the secrecy of it all. You know, he’s out, so being with a guy who’s closeted, with a girlfriend and living a double life, it was wearing on him.”
“Unbelievable,” Amanda said shaking her head in disbelief while thinking of Laren and feeling sad for her. I wonder if she knew or suspected anything. Although they weren’t the best of friends, they’d had a very friendly relationship and Amanda enjoyed the times they’d spent together, especially on double dates. “Well, Antonio and Kirby aren’t the worst of it. There’s more,” she said to Adam forebodingly.
Adam looked back at her, biting his tongue, not wanting to jump the gun. The last thing he wanted to do was appear too eager to gloat with I told you so smugness.
Amanda squinted her eyes at him. “But you must already know the rest. Don’t you?”
“I don’t know. It depends,” he said as he took a big gulp of his martini, nearly finishing it, appearing uncomfortable and feeling a little guilty for knowing something so private and personal about her former boyfriend while she had been kept in the dark.
“You said that you knew something about Jake. At Koi, you said you were afraid to tell me because you didn’t think I’d believe you. Remember that?”
“Yep,” Adam said looking down soberly and nodding his head.
“So tell me. Tell me now, Adam. I want to know. I want to hear it directly from you.”
Adam finished his martini in one big gulp. Then he turned his head to look back at her. “All I know is what I’ve been told. Just like your friend Charlie.”
“And that is . . .”
“And that is that Jake and Kirby were more than friends or just roommates. They had a little bromance going.”
“Antonio told you this?”
“Yes.”
Feeling defensive and still in disbelief she shot back, “What? You guys would just sit around and talk about this kind of stuff? Why would he tell—”
“Antonio is my personal assistant, Amanda. He works
very closely with me. You know, we talk and share things. He knows things about me—a lot about me actually, probably too much—and I know things about him. There’s a lot of trust there. Plus, I don’t want to get blackmailed by an employee so I keep tabs on them in case I need to use something against them to protect myself,” Adam said with a sly grin.
Amanda’s face became a bit flush and tears began to well. “So did Antonio tell you that he had a threesome with Jake and Kirby?”
“Yeah, he did,” Adam said and then paused for her reaction, but Amanda looked away, clearly distressed.
“I’m so sorry about all of this, princess,” Adam said, as he placed his left hand on top of Amanda’s right, which was resting on her lap. He gently squeezed it to console her.
After taking a quick moment to regain her composure and to keep from crying, she turned to look back at him. “When did this happen, the threesome?”
Adam sighed, trying to recall. “Like late spring, early summer. Around early June, I think. Yeah, pretty sure it was early June.”
“Oh . . . my . . . God,” Amanda said, lifting her elbows to the bar and placing her hands to her forehead, astonished and confused. “Adam, I can’t believe this,” she said, trying to conceal her anguish with her hands as she looked down.
Adam leaned over to cup her with his left arm. “Amanda, I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could’ve done to have spared you this pain and heartache. I wanted to tell you, so bad, and I came close, but I just felt that it was best to stay out of it. You and Jake have so much history and you seemed so in love with him and dead-set on getting married, that I just couldn’t bring myself to get into the middle of it. It would’ve been way too fucking messy, for everybody.”
“Adam, I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault. This is just so overwhelming. I never suspected any of this. I mean, I knew that guys hit on Jake, but I never had any reason to think he was gay or bisexual. He never said or did anything, at least not around me, to indicate that he was into anyone other than me. It’s not as if we were having problems in the bedroom or anything,” she said, but then felt awkward at raising the topic of her sex life with Jake with another guy she’d once dated.
“What am I going to do?” she asked rhetorically in exasperation. I’m carrying Jake’s baby, she nearly admitted before stopping herself. “I don’t know what to do, Adam. I feel so lost and confused right now. This is just . . . just so much to deal with, and I feel so alone.”
Still cupping her with his left arm, he pulled her chin with his right hand to look at him before telling her, “You’re not alone. I’m still here for you.”
* * *
Chapter Ten
Jake had decided to wait a month from the date of their cancelled wedding before he attempted to make contact with Amanda again. He figured that it was best to allow some time to pass instead of trying to reach her immediately after he’d returned from Hawaii as he had initially planned. Besides, he suspected that she more than likely wouldn’t have been in the mood to speak with him, especially after he’d talked with Lucy who gave him a piece of her mind about how he’d treated her dear friend.
Lucy had texted him the week he was in Hawaii. Despite what had happened, she still considered Jake a friend and wanted to speak with him about what went down. There was a level of comfort there. After all, she’d known him since he and Amanda started dating their junior year at Stanford and collectively they had been a tight-knit clique. Jake had texted her back letting her know that he was away, but that he would be in touch with her once he’d returned to LA. However, by the time he’d gotten back to her, not only had Amanda given Lucy the four-one-one on her conversations with Charlie and Adam, but had also confided to her about the pregnancy.
“Hello.”
“Lucy, hi, it’s Jake.”
“Oh, Jake. How are you?” she asked perfunctorily, but not really caring.
“Doing okay. Just trying to get back to some level of normalcy. How are you?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” she said curtly.
“Are you in New York?”
“Yes, I am. Things are very busy here. We had our fall fashion show right after I left LA and now we’re busy filling orders, among a million and one other things right now.”
“Well, sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I took some time off to get away.”
“Oh, no problem. Hey listen, I don’t have a lot of time to chat. I need to run to a meeting in lower Manhattan but I did want to touch base with you.”
“Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“What’s on my mind?” she asked, incredulous. “Amanda. That’s what’s on my mind. How could you? How could you have misled her all this time, Jake? About you, about your relationship, about everything?”
Caught off guard by Lucy’s temper, “I’m not sure I know what you mean,” he barely managed to say before Lucy continued over him.
“If you were in love with someone else all this time you should have just come out and said it a long time ago. Why string Amanda along for so long? How cruel can you be?”
“Wait. I never said anything about being in love with somebody else. That’s not the reason—”
“Jake, save the bullshit. We all know. We all know the truth now. Just come out with it and stop hiding behind this façade you’ve created.”
“Lucy, to be honest, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Lucy snickered in agitation. “Wow, you amaze me. You had us all fooled. You were so good about keeping your little secret hidden from everybody. But considering you went to the best law school in the country, I’m not surprised that you knew how to cover your ass. Guess you didn’t cover it as well as you thought though, because your shit has hit the fan and now a huge mess has been created in the wake of your sloppy and deceitful behavior. You’ve really put Amanda in a very bad situation. You have no idea what you’ve done.”
“Lucy, would you just calm down. I seriously don’t understand—”
“I’m not going to sit here and listen to your lies,” Lucy yelled over him through the phone line. “I don’t have time for this right now. I have to go. I have a meeting to get to and I’m already running late. Goodbye.”
***
Jake was so rattled by his conversation with Lucy that he thought about it for the rest of the day at the office and could hardly focus on much else. He even phoned Will, his closest friend from Stanford, to relay the conversation to him and see if he’d heard anything, particularly from his girlfriend, Kerry, who’d been buddy-buddy with Amanda. However, Will told him that he hadn’t heard anything and not to worry, suggesting that gossip was inevitable in light of the circumstances and given Amanda’s status as well as Jake’s to a lesser degree. However, Jake’s concerns were not allayed.
What the fuck was Lucy talking about? Keeping my little secret hidden? I didn’t cover my tracks? Deceitful behavior? It was a rude awakening. Jake wasn’t surprised that rumors were beginning to fly, but he was shocked that they had swayed people who knew him well. He had no idea how to get ahead of them or how to control them, if that was even possible. Indeed, Jake believed that he had covered his tracks so well concerning his relationship with Kirby, that at first it didn’t even occur to him that might be the secret others now knew. A secret that he in fact had been hiding for a very long time. From the beginning of their relationship, those many years ago in prep school, Jake had never told anyone about how his friendship with Kirby had evolved into one that included sexual intimacy. As far as he knew, Kirby had never told anyone either, and beyond their occasional playfulness and campy, bro-like behavior, they were careful not to display their intense affection for and attraction to one another in front of others. But the more Jake thought about it, the more he began to wonder. Has Kirby told someone about us? Maybe he confided in someone about his feelings for me? But who would have betrayed us both?
When Jake got home from work he found Kirby in the little study off hi
s bedroom, typing away on his computer.
“Hey, Kirby,” Jake said as he went to take a seat in the tight, cozy room that was Kirby’s work space as a screenwriter.
“Hey, man,” Kirby replied as he watched Jake, looking worn and stressed, plop down on the large bean bag in the corner across from his desk. “Rough day at the office?” Kirby asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Jake said with a sigh, while pulling off his tie and loosening his collar.
“So what’s up?”
“I spoke with Lucy today.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Needless to say, she’s not very happy with me right now. In fact, she went off on me. Big time.”
“Whaaaaat . . . really?”
“Did I tell you she sent me a text when we were in Hawaii?”
“No. I don’t think so,” Kirby pondered.
“Well, anyway, she did and I told her I’d get back to her later, when I got back to LA. But then it was crazy at work, and I didn’t get to it last week. So today I called her. I really didn’t want to because I knew she’d want to talk about Amanda and that it would be awkward because they’re best friends.”
“Right . . . right.”
“She was really short with me at first. Said she had to go to a meeting, but then she became quite caustic and accusatory.”
“Really?” Kirby said, curious, pulling himself up in his chair in rapt attention. “What did she say?”
“Basically, she said that the word was out that I broke up with Amanda because I was supposedly in love with someone else and that my secret was out and that I hadn’t covered my tracks all that well.”
Kirby looked at Jake, stunned, immediately knowing that implicated him. But then he rationalized that it didn’t matter because that wasn’t the real reason. “That’s crazy, man. You broke up with her because her family . . . her father asked you to.”