by A M Russell
Oliver returned looking grim, ‘We’ve got five minutes folks.’
Jules helped to tie down his head piece. Ready to take a leap in the dark.
No one said a word then. We waited.
Oliver counted the lights passing us. There was the amber one. He nodded. Jules brought the train spanner down on the chunky pin. The wind roared past our heads. I couldn’t see. Couldn’t think. My eyes were streaming. Jules grabbed my left arm. We watched for the red light, counted to four and jumped.
*****
Twenty Four
We gathered together gasping from a roll in the loose earth. It was like being hit by a piece of crumbling cheese. The momentum had carried down into this hollow out of site of the habitation at the end of the line. The automatic systems on the train would decelerate it until it drew up at the terminus without us. I didn't think about what might happen later as a consequence. We didn't have long before they would start looking for us.
We worked fast. The cold was worse than the roll down. Icy needles of intense insidious refrigeration that would sap your energy faster than any heat could ever do. Oliver had his hood up and gloves on. Jules followed. I couldn’t raise my right arm at all. And that biting temperature was making me feel dizzy. Oliver and Jules pulled up and straightened the hood and got the mask onto me. I breathed in then on the enclosed flow. The warmth of my suit and the air from the bottle cleared the dizziness.
Oliver led us one a path that traversed the slope. We then scrambled up the last few yards onto a flat area behind a steel fence. Oliver pointed left. I gave the thumbs down. So then we continued right between the drop and the fence until it turned at right angles and we could see clearly our target. It was a small tunnel about a stone’s throw away.
There were several men out and about. We huddled together, and Oliver pulled the mask slightly to one side so we could just hear him.
‘This is it. We need to put on a class act.’ said Oliver turning to us. ‘They are in ice suits too.’
Two minutes later we were by a guards hut. There was a light on inside. Warmth spewed out as a man left and another went in. we edged into the shadows waiting for our chance.
As the next ones left, and strode across the little wasteland of gravel, we tucked in behind. And as soon as we got opposite the cave mouth we slipped carefully to the left of the path marked by the tread of boots on the grey cavern floor. Away from of the pools of light, we slid into the dimness.
In here the air was colder. I could feel the difference it made to the way the suit reacted, almost as if it stiffened up with the cold. I was glad of this technical marvel. We didn’t speak. We still kept the head set intercoms switched off for now. There was no chance of anyone else listening in on the same frequency. The tunnel got narrower and colder. We must be near the long tunnel now.
Oliver signalled to switch on. We kept moving though.
‘It’s going to be really a risk. I think we’ll end up in the tunnel that fried our instruments the last time.’
‘How cold did you say?’ Jules asked.
‘It was minus 35 degrees before the readings started going all pickled.’
‘We don’t know how far down we are.’ I pointed out, ‘Do you think you can run up it if required?’
‘To get to higher ground?’ said Jules, ‘I’ll do it alright. How far to the buggy?’
‘No more than twenty minutes’ walk,’ Oliver sounded doubtful, ‘depending on where we come out.’
We came then to what appeared to be a dead end. The way was up. It was a gruelling scramble up a chimney-like staircase that twisted into the darkness above us. We switched on our hood lights and started to climb.
It seemed never ending; this ridiculous end to a long and dreadful journey today. I started to feel queasy again. It was probably the number of turns: it was a bit like a spiral stair case but much lumpier, and a lot less stylish. I was just beginning to wonder if we had gone wrong, when I saw the streaks of minerals that marked the approach to the outer tunnels in this area. It cheered me up so much that I caught up with Oliver.
‘Oh…. Not good!’
I could quite see what he was looking at until I saw the small gap at the end of this chimney climb.
I might fit through. And perhaps even Jules would. But here was no way Oliver could get out of here.
‘Don’t go near it!’ said Oliver sharply as I was about to step forward to examine the place through this gap.
‘Temperature is very low. That weird gradient effect. I think we may be on the other side of the long slope but a lot further down the main tunnel.’ Oliver showed me his reader. He leaned forward slightly and stretched his hand out keeping a firm grip of the instrument. The needle bent down lower in the space of six or seven feet.
Staying away from the gap we turned to the left. I saw that the tunnel continued upwards as a narrow staircase cut into the rock by obviously handmade means.
We hurried up these passageways. Irrationally I supposed, it felt more likely that we could be followed. I was just starting to gasp again when we stopped.
'I know this place.' I said, 'there's the other tunnel that goes up to that place we spent the night....’ I couldn't think about it in actual days. It was a lifetime ago.
'Yes... Of course.’ Oliver said in barely a whisper.
We passed it and carried on going up now. We made good progress, and were soon on the wide slope. I was bending over every so often. My insides felt funny, and my head was too warm. I pushed through it. That last little climb. It was with a complicated mixture of feelings that arose as we sighted the all-terrain Buggy. Oliver opened up the back. We all climbed in and slammed the door shut.
'Give me two minutes to reverse the engine immobiliser. Then we'll get warmed up.'
'What time is it?' asked Jules. He looked like he didn't quite believe we'd actually made it this far.
'Eleven Forty-Five.' I said as Oliver got the heaters going.
'Set the cut off for five degrees.’ I said.
‘Done.’ said Oliver.
‘How far is it to the camp?’ Jules rubbed his eyes. Fatigue and stress had made a dent in all of us. I couldn’t walk anymore at the moment. I felt that we better make some decisions soon. Oliver was checking all the readings in the buggy. The thermometer slowly climbed upwards from the depths of the ice box. Five degrees would keep the inside of the windows free from ice. We still needed to find out what had happened to the weather while we had been out of touch with the ice fields.
‘Shall we get going?’ I asked Oliver.
‘Not sure. It is colder in here because of the tunnel. But it is also colder out there because it’s midnight. We have no weather readings until we get to the open part of the channel. By then we’ll be in a jam if we don’t back up and the snow is too deep. There’s turning space in here. But it’s too narrow further up if we need to come back and wait until morning.’
‘It is a bit wider further down beyond that, we could still turn there.’ I said.
‘I’m not Jared.’ said Oliver, then paused leaning over the steering wheel, ‘Forgive me. It’s a good idea. But I just can’t do that kind of tight turn.’
Jules looked at me, then out of the window; ‘If it’s only a couple of hundred feet we could walk down and see. Davey could stay here, while we do a recce?’
We all looked at each other.
‘It seems the only reasonable option.’ said Oliver.
I nodded, ‘Ok. I’ll keep the mike on the open channel in the cab. And keep an eye on the readings.’
‘Agreed.’ said Oliver, ‘we’ll keep talking to you, but if we’re not back in twenty minutes, start it up and get moving down the tunnel towards us.’
‘Alright. But be back soon.’
Jules checked the link on the mask again. Oliver helped me to climb into the front navigation seat. My usual spot. I’d got all the dials to look at. I could reach round with my left hand to adjust anything, as I wasn’t strapped in the har
ness.
‘Don’t get lost.’ I said to Jules, as he and Oliver popped the back hatch.
They slammed it shut and walked round to the front of the vehicle and began to walk away down the tunnel towards to what was hopefully a clear route to the side of the ice lake.
Just as they got out of sight I felt it again. So long forgotten, that insidious creepy disquiet. The minutes ticked past. For the first time in all of my adventures I was utterly alone. And out in the middle of nowhere in a miniature spaceship. The cabin temp had equalised nicely at the cool chill of a fridge in your kitchen. I idly thought of myself as a bottle of beer, full of rich dark flavours, waiting to be savoured by the woman in white… she’s sitting in a veranda overlooking a sunset scene… gulls cry.
I shook my head. I checked the clock again. Fifteen minutes into the time.
Just then I thought I saw something: a flicker of movement in my peripheral vision. Just when I thought I must have been mistaken, there it was again, a dark flash of something against the shadowed greys of the tunnel. I thought about this for a minute; should I switch on the external lights or not? This would flood the immediate area with light. But it would also give away our position. I’d nearly dropped into one of those dreams a moment ago. So… just wait. Then with a start I realised that neither Jules nor Oliver had said anything at all since they left the buggy…. There was that movement again.
Slowly and painfully I twisted my body and started to ease my legs over to the driver’s side. Twenty minutes gone…. I slid rather clumsily in to the seat. I at last bent over, panting from the acute sharp stabbing ache that was spreading from my right arm. I used my left hand to switch to send: “Oliver. Jules! Are you there guys? Better give me an answer….” I clicked to open channel again. “Just call me! We’ll have a nice cool beer! Come on guys!” I left it on open channel this time. “Send” just boosted a little, it shouldn’t make any difference if they were walking back towards me.
“Hey!” I talked to the air in the cab, “You are so welcome to any party I ever have. Birthday…. Christmas…… you know what I will tell my dear Mama…. She better expect a lot of guests….. A lot of you…. Some may be along later.”
Some rational fragment of my mind knew I was ranting in a delirious way. But pain and exhaustion had the upper hand…. I closed my eyes and warm in my suit I felt the world begin to blur….it rolled into mist and disappeared.
I was in a white place. No features, no scenery, just sand between my toes…. White sand. So fine, and so cool on my bare feet. I took a step forward and tripped over. Sprawled on this lovely sand. It was cool and moulded to me like a cotton duvet. I wanted to stay here. But then I saw him…. Jared stood over me, smiling his half smile.
I sat up. Overwhelmed with guilt. It was me…. I was the reason you died. You did that, for what? I’m nothing compared to you! I’m nothing….. Why did you die? I can’t bear it…. I can’t…. it should have been me. Not you.
The sand was wet. I stood up. His eyes were level with mine. He held out his hand to me. I wasn’t sure…… Today I killed someone Jared! I’m the worst kind of friend. The one who took your place and shouldn’t have….
The water rose around us until it was swirling round our clothes. “Take my Hand.” He held it out to me.
I’m not worth it Jared…. I’m nothing….Why did you save me? WHY??
We were now swimming on this sea of tender bluish waves. There was a blissful warm white light above and our feet rested on nothing. I felt then I would die. I would let go then. I would slip away, and be no more. Everything about my life disgusted me. Everything was a failure or a fluke. All my intelligence was used to treat others with contempt in my workplace; a cowardly quiet thing I wrapped myself in with every moment. Even Alex I despised for his easy manner, and unoffended mildness for other people’s cruelty. I hated to be alone; yet rejected every attempt to solicit some kindness from me; I was lost, and didn’t want to be found; and yet.. oh yet so desperately I did. I had come here to find peace of mind, clarity of heart, physical fitness….. but found just more of the same… more of the same old Me…..I hated what I had so easily become… I was huddling in shadows envious of others, yet afraid of the light. My head dipped beneath the water, colours shimmering with the light from above; I was leaving it, travelling away without hope. I was afraid… sinking… suddenly I was screaming something out in bubbles; then I breathed in water. My body spasmed with shock, unable to cough. I was darker and colder now. At last I stopped struggling. I let it leave me… whatever it was… that something that was my essence; but I don’t know. I resolved to be taken into the waves.
And with a tug I heard breakers on a shore; Crashing over and over. I was dragged from the waters. I was pulled up out of them. Strong hands lifted me to a safe place. I laid there not moving as he crouched down. The sunlight was on my back. He came close… So close I could hear him breathing; and then he whispered in my ear: “Davey, I am Alive.”
‘Do you think we should look at his arm?’ Jules voice came distant and echoey.
‘No. We should get to the compound tonight. Thank God it’s a clear one.’
‘What about the outside temperature?’
‘Don’t worry about that. This baby can stand a lot more than they let on. It’s all insulated. Shit! What was that?’
I felt a jarring bump, then the hum of the vehicle in motion.
‘But what is it?’
‘About Minus fifty degrees.’ I heard Oliver chuckle, ‘It’s going to get us back alright. This ice cube hasn’t got the better of us yet.’
‘What day is it?’
‘Day 44 now; from Main Base until now.’
‘Oh…’ Jules sounded puzzled, ‘what happened to the time?’
‘You tell me… You and Janey are the scientists in the outfit. She told she was going to stay, didn’t she?’
‘Yeah… she knew. We talked before the expedition. She said I should carry on…..finish her work on the outside.’
‘We are way past the point of reason anyway; so I might as well ask you: what did the white coat girl tell you?’
‘She told me that she knew what was really happening. She told me to watch out for my friends. She also told me that I must come back….. and she said that everyone will be alright.’
‘Do you believe it?’ Oliver sounded like he was gritting his teeth as we did some zigzagging turns.
‘Yes. I don’t know. I want to…. I’m here. You two got me out. I have been saved twice in the last twenty-four hours. I really owe you both.’
‘You better be prepared if I call in the favour then.’ said Oliver sounding very Welsh.
‘Do you think Davey is as crazy as Hanson was?’ Jules’ question made me breathe in sharply.
‘Can he hear you?’ Oliver again.
‘I don’t think so. He’s out cold.’
‘He’s got two chances: either mad as a rabbit on the elderberries; or sane as the village priest after the summer fayre.’
‘You are a very strange man.’ said Jules with a laugh.
‘Really? I admire his spirit. But he’s into burnout now. And we’ve still got some distance between here and Main to travel.’
‘I’m glad Nikolas made it back.’
‘Yeah. The innocent photographer! I didn’t realise you had such a soft heart.’
‘I do. I’m just not really very good around Hanson.’
‘Ex best friends always make the worst kind of working relationships.’ Oliver grunted as the car jiggled again.
‘Nearly as bad as most soon to be ex-girlfriends.’
‘Marcia should be at Main by now. George must know what happening, surely.’
‘Joe and Adam will have been on the wireless if it was clear all this evening. We’ll find out our fate when we get back.’ Jules tried to be light, but sounded afraid.
‘It’s ok.’ said Oliver, ‘just remember that they don’t give a shit about any of us really. It is only George, and the lov
ely psych Girl who do really care. We’re just bodies that still happen to be moving.’
‘Did Hanson really get back from another line of reality?’
‘He could be lying.’ Oliver was firm, ‘I had always thought he was on the level. Until yesterday that is.’
‘Would you actually have shot him?’ Jules sounded childishly curious.
Oliver gave a thickly serious growl: ‘Yes I would.’
‘Oh…’
‘If it became necessary.’
The car lurched and rolled from side to side. I could feel the little bit of consciousness I had breaking up and fragmenting into tiny pieces.
Quite a time later… it must have been, I could see stars through the side window looking up and sideways from the place where they had laid me down. They were so clear and beautiful. I couldn’t see them for long as we entered a shadowy space; yellow or orangey in hue. My eyes rolled themselves closed again.
I was laid on my back. That much I was aware of. There was a familiar smell, something astringent perhaps, medical certainly. My eyes wouldn’t open. Someone touched my hand. I could hear a voice, but they didn’t resolve themselves into actual words. It was as if the sound faded in and out. I let the fuzzy edges of reality crackle and snap. A little while later it unfuzzed and became clear again.
‘I’m just going to have a look at your arm, Davey. Then I’ll get you a piss pot laddie.'
‘Joe?’ I saw someone but didn’t recognise them. I felt no pain. There was some tugging and pulling on my right side.
They half sat me up. I felt relieved. They laid me back down. I saw the faint curve of a strand of tubing to the left. It must be attached somewhere. Someone had hold of my head.