But on the inside, she told herself, Don’t let your guard down.
After dinner, she kept that fake smile on until she closed the door of her room and started to clean up her desk for something to distract herself.
In the midst of this, she dropped a sketchbook while moving it off the desk, and it fell open to a drawing.
It was a portrait of the class eating lunch. On each and every face was a delighted smile.
Very, very happy smiles, heartfelt and full.
Looking at that drawing finally caused her to break down.
“Aah…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
She tore the drawing out of the sketchbook, wadding it up, ripping it apart, throwing it aside.
“I’ll make so many, many paintings and have Daddy sell them!” Her childhood dream echoed in her head.
The young girl cried and wailed, not even understanding why she was so sad, and tore up more and more drawings.
The things she had seen, those happy smiles on her classmates—all lies.
And it was her existence that had forced those lies into being.
In a wild fit, she tore her drawings, her dreams, to shreds.
Just a few seconds felt like a long, long eternity to the girl.
And that elongated time negated all the happy life she’d led.
But halfway through tearing out the sketchbook pages, she stopped.
It was a drawing of her father’s and mother’s faces.
Upon seeing this picture of her family, the girl came to a realization.
While she was shocked to learn what the Awakusu-kai actually was, she could never actually bring herself to hate her family.
“Akane? Akane! What’s the matter?!”
Before long, her mother had rushed into the room, drawn by her daughter’s screams.
Akane didn’t know what she should do. She leaped into her mother’s embrace and cried.
The world blessed the girl’s existence.
But that blessing did not guarantee her happiness.
For a while after that, the girl led a life that was somewhat broken.
She could sense that her heart’s distance from her family—especially her father—was growing steadily.
Her father Mikiya could sense that his daughter had realized what he did for a living and was trying to keep close to her so she couldn’t drift away.
At school, she put on her best fake smile so as not to let her true feelings show.
She was both shocked at learning the truth that her personal world was coated with lies and unable to summon the strength to break down those lies.
The rest of the class continued to play along with Akane, and she allowed herself to play along with their lie.
It was a world of nothing but lies, including her own.
That world blessed the girl’s existence.
And then, several months later…
The girl made up her mind to finally run away from home.
Not because she knew that she could make it.
It was just on faith that if she went to a place where no one had heard of her or the Awakusu name, something might change.
She used the Internet function on her phone to gather information on running away.
Searching a few helpful keywords pulled up a number of good sites.
After hesitantly dipping her toes into the forums there, she was approached by a man with the username Nakura.
He helpfully answered her questions, no matter how naive, and offered thoughtful advice. In a sense, it was inevitable that Akane, with her lack of Internet knowhow and damaged state of mind, would grow to trust this man.
Then, he suggested that they meet up. Even Akane grew wary at this, and she decided to stake out the meetup place to ascertain what kind of person her chat partner was—only to find that it was a beautiful woman with long hair.
The girl timidly approached, and the long-haired woman smiled and said, “Are you Akane? Hi, I’m Nakura.”
Akane’s eyes bulged. She was not expecting this beautiful, smart-looking woman.
It had never once seemed to her that Nakura would be a woman.
She was very kind to Akane, enveloping the girl’s damaged heart with warmth. The release and rebound from her fear that Nakura would be a frightening man was so strong that Akane immediately opened herself up, and they met a number of times after that.
After a few meetings and conversations, the woman introduced her to a man.
“I hear you want to run away from home?”
This young man, who called himself Izaya, was a work partner of Nakura’s.
In the presence of these people with a strange knack for working their way into her mind, Akane finally explained her situation.
And as soon as she said it, she regretted it.
Akane realized her legs were trembling. Would they be afraid, too, now that she’d told them about her link to the Awakusu-kai?
What should I do?
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
They’re going to be terrified of Dad and Grandfather, too.
But instead, a gentle palm landed on top of her head.
Izaya caressed Akane’s hair and smiled at her kindly. “If I told you it’s all okay and there’s nothing to be afraid of, that would be a lie…but you’re still you, Akane.”
Her heart was already halfway broken. And those cracks were all it took for him to worm his way inside.
From that point on, Izaya fed her all kinds of information and taught her special web addresses only cell phones could reach and novel ways to use her device.
Then, one month became the next…and she realized that she had run away from home.
It really was as sudden a realization as that.
She hadn’t been home since late April.
She was sending her mother texts that she was staying at a friend’s house and not to worry, every single day.
The first night, she really was at a friend’s house: Nakura’s. She wasn’t lying.
The next day, Izaya took her to a manga café, and the day after that, she slept in a twenty-four-hour restaurant.
All her actions were according to Izaya’s instructions.
But she didn’t find this to be strange or questionable.
She recalled that this was exactly what she’d hoped for—an environment that would see her for who she was, not just the daughter of the Awakusu family.
It was true that she was a little lonely being separated from her parents.
But maybe if she ran away from home, her father and grandfather would think twice about their work and how it frightened people.
Deep down, she knew it wasn’t that simple, but a part of her glowed with optimistic hope and kept her dedicated to her cause and numb to homesickness.
But then, when it finally felt like she was going to give up, Izaya asked, “Do you hate your grandpa and dad?”
Taken aback, Akane recalled when she tore up her drawings. She looked down and mumbled, “I don’t know.”
Izaya smiled kindly at her. “This isn’t the kind of problem I can give you the answer to. Just think it over until you know,” he said. But then his expression went dark, and he murmured, “But there’s no guarantee they’ll be safe by the time you have your answer.”
“Huh…?”
“Well, your dad and grandpa cause fear in many people. That’s what you were worried about, right?”
“Y-yeah…”
Whatever it was that he was talking about, it was frightening her. Izaya held out a piece of paper. It was a photograph of a man with blond hair and black-and-white clothes. Behind the lenses of his sunglasses, his eyes were sharp and lupine.
“This is Shizuo Heiwajima. He’s considered the most dangerous hired killer in Ikebukuro.”
“K-killer?” She held her breath.
And with an absolutely straight face, Izaya told the frightened girl, “And it’s possible he could be going after your dad
and grandpa.”
“…What would you do if that were the case?”
There was no compulsion in his statement at this point.
It was just a question.
But it was also just another string tangling itself around her heart.
And then she was caught in the midst of the fray.
While still blessed by the world, as she had been since birth.
The Black Market Doctor Gets Sappy, Part Five
Please, have some tea as we wait, Mr. Shiki.
It’s all right. Everything will go smoothly with Celty on the case.
I would appreciate it if you didn’t scowl like that.
Please believe that I’m not just being lackadaisical.
In any case, we can’t do anything until the results become apparent. So if you hold onto hopeful optimism, that will at least cut down on the stress and fatigue as you wait. “Good fortune comes to he who laughs,” as the saying goes.
Actually, I’ll admit that I’m relieved to learn that the job you hired Celty for this time was protecting a young girl. If it had been the other way around, like “kill the guy going after her,” I very much doubt that Celty would have accepted it.
She does the courier job because she doesn’t have any better options, but in reality, Celty’s just a normal girl.
…Huh?
…Oh yes. Well, you do have a point.
That’s absolutely true.
The dullahan’s original job was to warn people of their coming demise. Depending on the type of legend, some of them were treated like Grim Reapers that collected the souls directly.
But that’s quite a different thing than just killing people left and right. You’re acting like she’s some kind of personification of death or a zombie, but the truth is, she’s a type of fairy.
…What kind of blood is in the basin…? You know…that’s a good question.
Hey, maybe it’s just tomato juice. Reality often turns out to be mundane.
By the way, Mr. Shiki, how do you know so much about dullahans?
I’ve heard that gamblers these days are intellectuals. Does that make you a card-carrying member of the intelligentsia?
Huh?
No, no, I wouldn’t call you yakuza.
After all, in the three-card game of karuta, the eight-nine-three cards, pronounced ya-ku-za, are the worst possible hand to have. It would be terribly rude of me to refer to you as the worst hand in the game to your face, wouldn’t it?
Look, it doesn’t really matter if you personally don’t mind or not.
The thing is, I’m not a naive enough dreamer to call you and your group “proper” old-school yakuza of the valorous type.
I don’t know how things work in other gangs, but there’s only a handful of people in the Awakusu-kai that I would consider to fit the “chivalrous” yakuza ideal, full of manly compassion, never harming innocent civilians, and not dealing any drugs whatsoever.
Oh, really? Mr. Akabayashi fits the type, even with the way he looks?
Well, anyway, given what I’ve just told you about how I see your group, maybe you understand why I’m hesitant to let Celty work with you.
And yes, I’ve given up on attempting to steer clear of you. If there’s any future incident where I screw something up working with you, it will have nothing to do with Celty.
So once you’ve finished dumping my body in Tokyo Bay, please don’t extend the punishment to her as well.
This is a personal request just to you, Mr. Shiki, since you’ve known both me and my father.
Tell Celty that my final words were “My soul is floating right around you, Celty. Just look for it. We’ll be living together forever, my dear.”
…What? What was that sigh for?
…
N-no, no, not at all!
I certainly don’t have any plans to get myself killed for a mistake!
…Sorry, that was thoughtless of me.
Your people didn’t have the chance to leave their own final words.
…Please don’t glare at me.
I don’t like the thought of someone doing such a grisly act in Ikebukuro, either.
…But asking purely out of personal curiosity, how did the three men die?
?
What’s this camera for?
…
Oh, there are pictures of the deceased on it?
And I’m supposed to look at them once, then delete them all?
Well, here goes…
…
…May they rest in peace.
I’ve seen all the pictures now.
May I give you my personal opinion?
Not as an unlicensed doctor, but as a longtime friend of Shizuo Heiwajima’s.
This isn’t his work.
…I’m not trying to defend him.
Yes, about a third of me wants to believe that he’s innocent…as his friend.
But that alone won’t be enough to persuade a man of your stature, would it?
If you want more concrete points of evidence, I have a few to list…
For example, let’s say that Shizuo flew into a big enough rage to want to kill a person.
A rage so tremendous that it might even envelop three members of the Awakusu-kai.
Well, I happen to think the bodies are remarkably well-preserved for that.
Take this body driven into the wall, for example. Shizuo has the arm strength to rip a guardrail out of the ground—if he drove someone’s face into the wall with all his force, you wouldn’t be able to identify the face of the victim. You wouldn’t even find a skull, I daresay.
The other bodies are relatively intact as well.
They do look like they were killed with bare hands.
But they’re just too pristine.
There’s almost no sign of a struggle from these…subordinates of yours, you said? Do you think that Shizuo could kill all three of them without any kind of response?
And this doesn’t look like one of his usual rages with some unlucky and tragic consequences this time. At least, not based on these photos. I mean, aside from the spot where the one body was driven into the wall, there’s essentially zero damage to the room.
…Plus, I can’t imagine why he would be in that building to start with.
I’ve never heard him say anything about going there.
And you don’t ever recall having beef with Shizuo, do you?
…So if it’s not Shizuo, then who would it be? As for that, I haven’t a clue. After all, it’s not my business to know who the Awakusu-kai have professional difficulties with at any moment.
That’s right.
I don’t know what sort of troubles the Awakusu-kai are in, and I have no intention to start learning now.
Only if it has something to do with Celty, that’s the only exception.
She popped back in yesterday for just a moment and took a spare helmet.
I’m assuming that means something happened to the first one.
I think that Celty’s gotten involved in something quite dangerous.
Oh no, this isn’t meant to be a complaint directed at you, Mr. Shiki.
And I’m not actually that worried about anything happening to Celty herself.
She’s very strong, as you know.
I just don’t want to see Celty’s grieving face.
Yes, I said face.
Just because she doesn’t have a head doesn’t mean she’s got no face. Or expression, I should say.
I can tell by her motions, by the mannerisms of the shadow that flickers around her. And I bet I’m the only one who can do that.
The thing is, Celty’s too kind for her own good.
In exchange for being extremely hardy herself, she gets incredibly upset when people she knows get hurt.
She might be extending this sense of sympathy to your young mistress already.
She looks horrified when she hears about children dying, even if they’re not related to her in any way.
I
t didn’t always used to be that way, but Celty’s changed in the last few years.
I suppose that coming into contact with people has made her more human.
I’m basically adrift from the concept of morality, so she probably wasn’t getting that much of an effect from me personally.
At any rate…
If I had to guess, I’d say that Celty’s probably above average for a human when it comes to caring for others.
When faced with the opportunity to save another person for no personal gain, most weigh that sacrifice based on factors like the labor involved, social standing, and personal safety.
But Celty has very, very little to weigh on that scale.
She doesn’t even have a head. The only things she can lose are her pride and a life without guilt. And because she lives a healthy lifestyle without pride or guilt, Celty saves people. If anything, she puts all her weight onto the “save” arm of the scale.
That’s what makes her so wonderful.
At the very least, I lack a human heart.
And Celty just keeps getting more and more lovely. She really is far too good for the likes of me.
Which is exactly why I don’t want anyone else to have her or for her to be sad. I don’t think that an unlicensed doctor like me is suited for Celty. But I still love her.
I guess what I’m saying is that if my name was on Celty’s scale as something else to lose, that would be a very heartwarming thing.
…Huh?
…Shiki? Mr. Shiki?
…Hello? Did you fall asleep?
No, you were just annoyed? Oh, well, that I understand.
If anything, I’d be worried if you sympathized with and understood my situation. If you were able to understand that, you’d see what makes Celty so lovable, thus making you my rival for her love.
So that’s Celty’s personality in a nutshell. Have no fear.
If Celty’s found Akane Awakusu, she will protect the girl with everything she has.
Even if the Awakusu-kai rescinded its contract for this job.
Chapter 5: Everything Resolves and Explodes
Somewhere in the Kanto region
Izaya Orihara was in a town in the northern part of Kanto, the region of the country around Tokyo.
He was in the process of walking from a train station on one line to a station on another and, as with everywhere else, was surrounded by families carrying out their Golden Week vacation travel.
Durarara!!, Vol. 6 Page 9