“No, not really. William flew out this morning, so I’ll probably just stay in. Maybe read and take a bath.”
“Seriously?” She flashed an unimpressed look, raising a brow at me.
“What?”
“You’re freaking Mackenzie Hewitt…you could do anything, go anywhere. And you’re choosing to be cooped up in your apartment all weekend?”
She had a point. But I didn’t really feel comfortable going out without William or close friends. I usually avoided the paparazzi as much as I could and the only way to do that was to stay under the radar.
“And what exactly do you think I should be doing?” I mocked, organizing my desk and getting ready to head out.
“Shit, anything! Jet to the Bahamas!”
“Oh my god,” I said, laughing. “Is that how you see me? I’m sure that’s how society sees me. Poor little gold-digging whore must use all her fiancé’s money to travel and shop, right?”
She shot me a disapproving look and shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant…you have so many opportunities.”
“I know…I just don’t feel right when it’s not with William. Unless you wanna fly to the Bahamas with me?” I teased, shooting her an over exaggerated smile.
“God, I wish!”
I laughed, shaking my head at her. “I’ll probably order in Chinese food, lay around in my PJ’s, and watch sappy romance movies.”
She narrowed her brows at me. “If only society knew what a real gold-digging whore you truly are,” she said taunting me, amusement laced in her tone.
“Yup, they’d be so disappointed.”
AS I WALKED to a cab after work, I texted Staci, Want to grab dinner tonight? I need out of the house.
If I couldn’t use William as a shield, I’d need to come up with another plan. Staci always had my back. Although when I told her about ‘meeting’ Alex at dinner last weekend and that he’d be moving in, she about died of laughter.
“I’m sorry, Mac. But the irony…the fact that the one time you mess up, it comes back to live with you.”
“Yes, it’s hilarious. Now can you stop laughing?”
“I’m trying…”
I knew she meant well, and if it had been her, I’d probably laugh, too. But it wasn’t. It was my reality.
I was living in hell.
Before arriving at my building, my phone beeped with her response. Yes! Meet at 8?
Sounds good! Chinese or Italian? I texted back.
Her response came just as I walked into the elevator. I prefer an Englishman…oh, wait, you’re asking about the food. Chinese then ;)
I hate you. See you at 8, I wrote back, shaking my head at her.
You love me.
I smiled as the elevator arrived at my floor. I know, I responded back.
I dropped the phone in my purse and tiptoed into the apartment, hoping Alex wasn’t home or wouldn’t hear me walk in. It was dark inside, so I flipped a few lights on before walking into the kitchen.
My eyes widened as I saw he was sitting at the breakfast bar with a glass of whiskey. William kept whiskey and wine in the apartment, but we normally had it with dinner.
It took two glances to really get a good look at him. He was hunched over, swirling the amber liquid in his hand as his eyes remained low. I wasn’t sure what to make of it, so as planned, I walked past him and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. I closed the door and began walking out when he spoke up.
“Mac…” His voice was rough, almost as if it pained him to say my name aloud.
I spun around, leaving my eyes low as I answered him, “Yes?”
He didn’t speak right away. He stood up and walked toward me, sending a shiver down my body. I hadn’t expected him to get up. “I’m so sorry…I never should’ve—”
“Alex, stop,” I cut in, shaking my head. He was right in front of me, his breath and clothes smelling heavily of alcohol. “You aren’t the only one to blame.”
“I don’t know what it is about you. I feel this pull toward you. I can’t stay away.” His eyes met mine and I swallowed at his heavy confession.
“I’m sorry…” was all I was capable of saying before turning around and walking away. I couldn’t let him see how his words affected me. I needed to get ready to meet Staci and clear him from my mind completely.
I MET STACI at our favorite Chinese restaurant at exactly eight o’ clock. She was giddy and bubbly as usual, which was exactly what I needed. As much as I didn’t want to think about Alex, I told her what happened that morning. She continued shoving forkfuls of chicken and rice into her mouth, completely unaffected.
“Stace…did you just hear me?” I asked, making sure she heard the part where I was naked in the shower with his lips on me.
“Yes…I heard you.”
“Okay…aren’t you going to tell me what a bad person I am and how I should go rinse my body off with bleach or something?”
She snorted, shaking her head at me as she smiled. “Mac, you’re a big girl. You’re capable of making your own decisions. Plus, you should know by now that I don’t judge you.”
“Ugh.” I sighed.
“What?”
“I’m an awful person and you’re just sitting there stuffing your face.”
She shrugged unapologetically. “Some of us actually like to eat when they go out to dinner.”
“Can’t you just yell at me or something? Give me something.”
“You have issues, but if that’s what you want, fine. You’re a trampy little whore who can’t keep it in her pants and have to do a hundred hail-Marys. Happy? I’m ready for dessert.” She tilted her head and smiled wide at me.
I burst into laughter at her condescending tone. “You’re the best, thanks.”
“Anytime, whore.”
I pushed Alex out of my thoughts for the remainder of the night. We walked to a pub after and had a few drinks before I checked my phone and noticed I had four text messages from Alex and one voicemail from William.
I checked the texts first.
We need to talk. Delete.
Don’t ignore me, Mac. We live under the same roof. Delete.
I miss you. Please come back. I blinked, reading over the words miss you. He wasn’t allowed to miss me. Delete.
I’m going to my room. Please come talk to me. Delete.
I shook my head before listening to William’s voicemail. His voice was so smooth, genuine. He had apologized for not calling sooner, but said there was a few concerning issues in his meetings today and had some things to take care of. He was now finishing dinner and heading in for the night, but I was to call him first thing in the morning before his late morning conference.
It was almost midnight before I was brave enough to go home. I was ready for bed and to forget this whole day.
Chapter Ten
I woke up around nine a.m. and called William before he got too busy. We talked briefly about the day before, my stomach turned every time he told me how much he loved and missed me.
“I miss you, too,” I told him, which I did, but I couldn’t help the nagging pull of guilt that I felt.
“I’ll be home late Sunday night, darling. I can’t wait to hold you.”
I smiled, anticipating him coming home. He’d been working a lot lately, getting ready to buy another company, but I always missed him when I was alone.
But now you have Alex… an annoying voice said in my head. I pushed it out as fast as it came in.
Alex was not someone I was supposed to be filling my time up with. He was living here until he got his shit together and then he’d be gone, just in time for William’s and my wedding.
The thought made me smile. William had been in a rush to set a date, but I told him I needed some time. I wanted to build my career and name before tying the knot. He respected my wishes and allowed me to set a date two years from our engagement. Now we were a year away and still had a lot to get done.
I met with our wedding pla
nner about once a month to make sure we were still on track. The venue had been booked already and we had gotten our engagement pictures done almost immediately. The media wasted no time covering our engagement as soon as word leaked out. Our pictures were plastered all over the Internet like an overnight sensation.
I pulled an oversized sweater over my tank top and walked to the kitchen. I was in desperate need of coffee. A slight hangover headache was approaching, and I didn’t have the patience to deal with one.
Alex was standing in the kitchen in just dark navy blue sweats, his back to me. I hated that I noticed his chiseled back muscles, but he was blocking the coffee maker that I was coming for in the first place.
“Morning,” he said before even turning around.
I stepped forward, grabbing a mug from the cabinet before responding, “Good morning.”
“I made coffee.” He spun around with a mug already in his hand. My eyes dropped to his chest and down his torso before blinking them back up to his face. He wore a smug smile as he totally caught me checking out his body and insanely muscular arms.
I cleared my throat and shut the cabinet door. “Thanks, coffee would be great.”
He pulled the pot out and tilted it toward me and stared at me. “I’m going to actually need your mug if you want me to pour you some.”
I took a couple steps toward him until I was just within reach for him to pour a generous amount. I swallowed, making sure to keep my eyes off him as much as possible. “Thank you.” I stood there, waiting for him to move, but he didn’t. “Excuse me,” I said, walking toward the fridge, but he didn’t budge. “I just want to get some cream.” Things were feeling awkward and tense between us, and I hated that.
He pushed his body to the counter, only giving me a few inches of room to walk past. “Be my guest.”
“You’re kind of in my way.”
He swung his arm out, guiding me to the where the fridge was. “Looks like you have plenty of room to me.”
I rolled my eyes at his stupid attempt to get me closer to him. I gritted my teeth and said, “Fine, be a child.” I stepped over his legs that were crossed at the ankles and slightly brushed past him as I opened the fridge door.
“If you wanted to touch me, all you had to do was ask.”
I scowled and faced him. “You’re such an asshole.” I grabbed the creamer and slammed the fridge shut.
“I’m not and you know it.”
“I should’ve just had it black,” I mumbled to myself as I stepped back over him, ignoring his attempt to push his body closer.
“How long do you plan to act like this?” His question shocked me, my body jerking in response.
“Act like what?” I turned around, narrowing my brows in disapproval.
“That you despise me,” he said bluntly.
I thought about his question for a moment, realizing this was probably just as hard on him as it was on me, but he was the one acting like an arrogant jerk.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d stop trying to cross boundaries with me when you know it’s inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate?” He laughed, pissing me off more. “Good god, it’s like you’re a Stepford Wife.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You mean…that I’m tempting you? That I’m giving you something more to desire?” He took a step toward me, caging me in with his arms around me. I stepped back as far as I could before hitting the back of the sink. “If you didn’t feel it too, there’d be no issue. But I know for a fact you do.”
I swallowed, hating that he was right, but it didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t.
“Just because your technique—” I waved a finger between us, “—typically works for other girls, doesn’t mean it’s going to work on me.”
He furrowed his brows and asked, “And what technique would that be?”
“Getting what you want, who you want.” I pushed against his chest, needing the space. “You’re not used to girls saying ‘no’ to you. You use your name, your father’s popularity to gain respect, and truthfully, it’s a little pathetic,” I snapped, the courage I’d felt quickly left as his eyes darkened, getting more intense.
He leaned into me and shot back, “Do you see any other girls here?”
“Give it time.” I held my ground as best I could. His face that close to mine was making it almost impossible to think straight.
He laughed in my face, a deep, throaty laugh that came out as if he was amused by my antics. “If it’s on the Internet, it must be true, right?”
I had looked him up late last night when sleep wouldn’t come to me. Although I tried, wanting—needing—to forget that whole day, it just wasn’t happening. Most of the stories were from his teenage and early college years, there hadn’t been anything recent, but I used it against him anyway.
“Isn’t that the way the game works?”
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, sweetheart, but I know what you felt when you kissed me. You feel what I feel and there’s no denying that.”
His eyes looked into mine, confident and tense as I stared back. “It doesn’t matter, Alex. It’s never going to lead to anything, so you should just stop trying.”
“And what if I don’t?”
“You’re just wasting your time.”
“I’m willing to bet I’m not, but if you want to be delusional, fine with me.” He pressed his chest against me and brought his face closer to mine. “I wasn’t sorry for what we did, Mac. I’ll never be sorry for that. I’m only sorry you felt guilty about it afterward.”
“If you cared about me at all like you claim, you’d back off, Alex.”
He huffed in an amused laughter. “That’s one thing you should learn about me, Mac. I don’t back off on something I want.” He gripped my chin with his thumb. “I was trying to get you out of my mind, and I failed miserably. The only thing I want from you is you. I don’t need to parade you around like a little trophy wife or show you off to my friends. Once you see that, you’ll change your mind.” He dropped his hand and stepped back, walking away with the last word. It didn’t matter anyway. I had nothing left to say.
I DECIDED TO order in and hide in my bedroom all night. I was seething over Alex’s last words. He had insinuated William treated me like a trophy wife, and I hadn’t even had enough courage to fight back. I never once thought that, but hearing it from Alex’s mouth set something off inside me, and it had me wondering if that’s how the rest of society saw me, too.
I ordered Sushi from a place nearby and watched The Holiday on Netflix. Before I met William, I used to watch it when I was down or went through fazes of self-pity. Now I was in the mood to watch it because it usually cheered me up. And I needed some cheering up.
It was when Graham—Jude Law—knocked on Cameron Diaz’s door and they met for the first time that I remembered marking Alex that night. I had seen the evidence on his backside, but no memory of doing it.
I remembered seeing his face above mine, his body covering me. I dug my fingers up and down the length of his ass and back. My legs were spread for him, arching as he sank deeper and deeper inside me.
I sat up in bed as the memory came back to me…
“God, I love it when you do that, Mac,” he growled, nipping lightly against the flesh of my ear. It sent a shiver down my body as I arched my hips up to greet his eager thrusts.
“I’m marking you for all the other girls who try to get near you,” I said, giggling lightly, but entirely serious.
He slowed his rhythm, bringing his head to mine so our eyes were now locked. “Sweetheart, if I had you, I’d have no reason to be with another girl for the rest of my life.”
I squinted, needing to make sure this guy was for real. I blushed before responding, “You’re just saying that…although you don’t have to...I’m already underneath you.”
He laughed lightly, moving against me again. “I’m not, Mac. You really are a sweet thing. So fucking gorgeous and perfect. I
can’t believe another man hasn’t claimed you yet.”
I soaked up the feeling I had felt while we were together. I tried to remember what I said after that, but nothing was coming to me. All I could remember were my nails digging into him and his body responding by fucking me harder. I felt a familiar ache in between my legs just thinking about it and wished I could go back in time to fix everything.
Did I tell him? Did I tell him I had a fiancé? And if he knew, why’d he let us continue?
I JUMPED IN my sleep, feeling hot and cold at the same time. I felt my stomach twist and immediately ran to the bathroom. Everything I had eaten earlier was threatening to come back up the second I threw the covers off the bed.
I ran as fast as I could to the bathroom and aimed for the toilet. My body shook as I tried to keep my hair back. I couldn’t contain the sounds my throat made as the sushi came out.
I started crying at the pain, my throat burning and my body aching as I knelt on the cold floor. I stopped heaving for a moment, just long enough to grab some toilet paper and wipe my mouth before my stomach turned and started all over again.
Before I could grip my hair again, a hand came to my neck and twisted my hair out of my hands and out of my way. I knew it was Alex by the way his body felt against mine. His scent hit me and another round began.
He grabbed the hand towel within reach and rubbed it gently against my mouth. I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t. This was so embarrassing, and I didn’t want him to see me like this.
“Go away,” I mumbled, keeping my head down. My stomach wasn’t done with me yet.
“Shh…”
“Alex…leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere, princess. You’re sick and you need help.” How did he even hear me?
“I’m fine,” I choked out, my throat closing up and burning with acid.
He wrapped my hair in one fist, keeping it off my neck as the other hand rubbed gently on my cheek. “It’s comical you think I’m actually going to listen to you. You need someone here and since I’m the only one actually here, you’re just going to have to let that someone be me.”
Dangerous Temptations Page 9