“Mac…”
“Not now,” I shot back before he could continue. We arrived at the hotel shortly after. I had nothing with me except my purse, so I’d have to ask Staci to bring me some of her clothes and other necessities up to me later on. I felt bad for getting her involved once again, but I knew she would help me.
Alex paid for the cab and started to get out before I stopped him. “Wait…won’t it look bad if we both go in a hotel together? I mean, I can check in by myself. I’ll be fine.”
“I really don’t care what it looks like, Mac. I told you that already. Keeping you safe is something I’m much more concerned about than what some stupid newspaper says.”
I nodded in response and let him rush us inside before the reporters could catch up with us. He checked me in and handed me the key. “C’mon…I made sure you had a good view.”
“Really? You think it’s the view I’m worried about?” We walked around to the elevators and hit the call button.
“No.”
“Well, thanks…but I could’ve stayed at Staci’s…” I pressed again, but I knew it was worthless. He was ‘in-charge’ Alex and nothing I said would change his mind.
“Can we please talk?” he asked as we stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the thirty-seventh floor.
“It’s not going to change anything.” I stood in the corner behind him.
Once the doors closed, he turned around and stared at me, intense and controlled. “I didn’t know who you were…when I first saw you that night at the club—I didn’t know.”
“You’re lying.”
“I’m not,” he urged, his voice strained. “I swear. I didn’t know.”
I swallowed, wishing I could believe him, but I wasn’t sure. I could hardly think with him this close to me. “Then when?” I whispered. “When did you know?”
He blinked, taking a step closer. I watched as the muscles in his upper arms shifted and his hand came up to reach for me. “The next morning. That’s when I recognized you. I’d seen pictures of you online and it just hadn’t clicked until you woke up in my bed.”
I stared at him, unmoving and barely able to breathe. If he was telling the truth, then why did I still feel sick to my stomach about it?
“Then why didn’t you tell me then? Why didn’t you say something?”
“I had thought about it, but I don’t know…I liked you, Mac. A lot. I knew if I told you first, I’d never have the chance to prove you wrong about William. I knew you didn’t belong with him the moment I figured out who you were.”
As I let his words soak in, it all started to make sense. Him giving me that note as I was leaving his suite, him overly calm when we finally came face to face at dinner a week later…he knew we’d be meeting in person soon. He knew we’d be meeting in front of William…
“That’s why you didn’t call…” I said, mostly to myself. My eyes burned into the wall behind him as I talked it out. “If you were so interested, you would’ve called that week…I mean, you had my number after I called about my ring. You knew we’d be forced to officially meet…you knew we’d be living together…you knew everything.”
“Mac…just listen…”
“You had days to tell me, Alex…that whole week before dinner…the four weeks after that.” I finally blinked and looked at him. “Why didn’t you say something? You lied. You left me in the dark…you made me believe you were honest.”
“I’ve been completely honest with you, Mac. I didn’t know it was you that night, and once I realized it, yeah—I didn’t tell you—but that doesn’t mean I lied.”
“You withheld the truth. It’s the same thing.” I scowled. The elevator came to a stop and dinged, the doors sliding open just in time. “There’s no point in this conversation.” I stepped around him, exiting the elevator and heading toward my room.
“Mac…” He followed me out, walking behind me as I searched for my room. “You’ve got to believe me.” I could hear the desperation and pain in his voice, but I didn’t care. My blood was still boiling, his betrayal fueling my thoughts and actions.
“I don’t have to believe anything, Alex.” I quickly spun around and faced him. “You lied to me. You knew I was going to tell William about us and you still didn’t tell me the truth. So give me one reason why I should believe a word you say?” I challenged, keeping my eyes locked on his.
“Because I’ve shown you over and over how much I care about you…I’ve opened myself up to you, can’t you see that? Have you seen me bring any other woman over? Or even mention other women?” I swallowed at the intensity of his eyes and face. He stepped closer. “No, because there was no reason to. I didn’t want anyone else, Mac. I want you. I don’t know how else to make that perfectly clear.”
I snorted, huffing out an amused laugh. “Calling me a fox and ‘hotter in person’ is reason enough to believe you’re just as fake as your father.” Before he could stop me, I spun back around and walked the rest of the way to my room.
Just as I was shutting the door behind me, he stopped it with his foot and stared down at me. He looked defeated, broken. I couldn’t get my emotions in check, not when I was around him anyway. My heart ached, wanting to wrap my arms around him and tell him it would all be okay, that I could forgive him, that my feelings were just as strong as his were, but my head was too stubborn. I’ve dealt with complicated for most of my life. I’ve suffered from disappointments, lies, and false hope. That was why William and I were so compatible. He wasn’t multi-layered. It was easy. Our relationship was simple and it’s what made us work.
Had I known it was all based on lies…I would’ve walked away sooner.
But better late than never, I thought. I couldn’t let myself get involved with someone like that again.
“What?” I asked, pushing my feelings for him away.
He swallowed and looked at me genuinely. “I’ll send someone to bring up your things. Don’t answer the door for anyone but room service or me. Answer your phone when I call.”
I blinked. “Anything else?”
He stared at me for a long moment before speaking up. “You were never a revenge lay, Mac. Never.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I was always vulnerable around him but right now, I needed to stay focused. My entire life was changing, and I needed to make a plan on how I was going to get through this alone.
“I’m going to take a bath,” I said quietly. “Call me when I can expect my things to be delivered.”
“I will.” I started to shut the door, but he held it open and continued, “Remember what I said.”
“Yes, I will.” I sighed. I watched as he released the door. I breathed out in relief, finally left alone to get my head back together—figure out what my next step would be.
AFTER TAKING A long, hot bath, I lay on the bed looking out through the large floor-to-ceiling windows. My phone was blowing up with texts and voicemails from Staci, Chelsea, and Brittainy. I didn’t have the energy to explain everything to all of them right now, so I only planned to call Staci for now.
“Oh my god! Please tell me you’re okay?” she answered on the first ring.
I sighed in relief from hearing her voice. “I’m okay.”
“Thank god…shit, Mac. What the hell happened?”
“I’m staying at the Four Seasons. Alex brought me here. William’s a complete asshole and liar. Someone at the event spoke to reporters about us,” I breathed out. “That’s about it, in a nutshell.”
“How…I mean, how could anyone know?”
“It was all based on speculation, from the pictures at the event of Alex and I walking in together and being seen next to each other all night. It was a fabricated story on their end, but…it was true. I slept with him. I was ready to tell William before everything blew up in my face.” I swallowed, exhaling slowly before I continued. “He overheard Alex and me fighting. He didn’t even care, Stace,” I explained softly. “He only cared how it would affect his image.”<
br />
“Oh my god, Mac…I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged although she couldn’t see me. “It’s over. William wasn’t the man I thought he was and Alex lied about knowing who I was before we met at dinner that night.”
“He knew?”
“Yup…” I said, exaggerating the p. “He said he realized it was me the morning after. Then he told me William pays people off to keep their mouths shut—to keep his reputation clean—and that his late wife didn’t die from cancer.” I let out a long breath. “Everything was a lie.”
“Holy shit…” she breathed out.
“My thoughts exactly.” Even I was still trying to wrap my brain around it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked softly. “That’s a lot to take in.”
I rolled over on my side, staring at the plain, cream-colored wall. “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I need a few days.”
She sighed in response. “I’m so sorry. If you need me, call! I’ll be right there.”
“I know.” I smiled. “You always are.”
After hanging up, I curled my body into a ball and sunk into the oversized comforter. I needed to clear my mind, erase this day. I just wanted to sleep. Sleep it all away.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I woke up to a completely dark room. The sun had set and covered the sky a dark blue. It took me a minute to remember where I was, but then I felt the cool comforter against me and remembered.
I was in a hotel room, alone.
A knock on the door startled me, making me jump up into a sitting position. I looked at the clock and saw it was past nine. I had slept most of the day and hadn’t really eaten either. I turned on the light and slowly made my way across the room. Another knock came before I could answer it.
“Who is it?”
“Concierge, ma’am. I have your luggage. I looked through the peephole and saw a suited man standing next to a cart with my Louis Vuitton suitcases. I unlocked the door and let him in. “Evening, ma’am. Where would you like me to put your bags?”
I pointed to the other side of my bed. “Over there is fine, thank you.” I watched as he grabbed two of my bags and placed them on the floor. He walked back to the cart and grabbed the last one, putting it next to the other two. Just as he turned around, I realized I didn’t have any cash on me to tip him. “Crap, I’m so sorry. I don’t have any money—”
“Oh, no worries, ma’am. It’s been taken care of.” He smiled and began walking toward the door.
“Oh…okay. Well, thank you.” I walked him to the door and saw him out. I looked around the quiet room, feeling alone and scared and really unsure of what to do next. I knew I needed some time. Time to figure this out. Time to figure myself out. Time to really come to terms with how much my life was changing.
I grabbed my phone and saw that Alex had messaged me a half hour ago letting me know my things were being delivered. I sent him a quick text back thanking him. As much as I was upset with him, I couldn’t help but appreciate how he always came to my rescue. Still—it didn’t change anything for me. My trust for him was gone.
I ORDERED ROOM service and fell asleep watching shitty infomercials. I woke up Saturday morning sometime before the sun rising and the moon fading. I had no energy to do anything but cry. Cry for the mistakes I’ve made, cry for the life I was leaving behind, cry because I didn’t know what else to do.
This last month’s been emotionally and mentally draining. I couldn’t even grasp what my next step was right now. I knew I needed to make plans to move, to cancel all the wedding arrangements, to end all ties with the Lancasters—but I didn’t even know where to start.
Knowing people were reading the article about me—about my personal life and the assumptions they had broadcasted—made me sick. I was humiliated and had no one to blame but myself.
I clicked through the TV channels, not finding anything to keep my interest long enough to help me forget. I ended up turning it off and sinking back into the covers. I wasn’t ready to face anyone or anything yet.
I woke up to a knock on the door. The sun was fully shining through the blinds, capturing my attention on the clock. 3:39 p.m.
Shit. I slept all day.
The knock came again, reminding me why I woke up in the first place. I threw the covers off and walked through the bedroom area and into the living space. “Who is it?” I called out.
“Room service, ma’am.”
I narrowed my brows in confusion, knowing I hadn’t ordered anything. I peeked through the hole and saw a waiter with a cart of food. “I didn’t order any food,” I said through the door.
“It was ordered on your behalf, ma’am. Eggs, bacon, toast with jelly, and pancakes. Butter and syrup on the side.”
I sucked in my lower lip, hesitant at first, but then opened the door. “Who ordered it?” I asked, but I already knew.
“A Mr. Alexander Lancaster, ma’am.” He smiled in returned.
I took a step back and let him wheel the cart into the room. He took the covers off the platters and told me to enjoy. I thanked him and walked him out.
The food smelled amazing, the aroma of maple and bacon capturing my senses. I grabbed my phone and turned it on, noticing a text from Alex. You need to eat.
I rolled the cart to my side of the bed and sat down, putting a plate on my lap as I shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth.
How do you know I haven’t? I texted back. I forked some scrambled eggs and layered it on my toast. A new text came in just as I finished the entire piece.
Because I called and checked your room service history.
I wasn’t sure if I felt irritated or happy he was checking up on me. I wanted to be mad at him, hate him. I was upset that he knew I was going to confess everything to William while knowing he had lied to me. I was upset with William for lying to me about everything—about our entire relationship, thinking he was one person and turning out to be completely someone I didn’t recognize. And mostly, I was upset with myself.
Well, you can stop checking up on me. I’m a big girl, I decided to text back. I needed to do this on my own, without my heart getting in the way. I needed to pick up the pieces of my life and somehow put them back together.
I can’t stop, Mac. Let me come see you. Please, he responded. I placed my plate back up on the cart, suddenly losing my appetite at the thought of Alex’s pleading voice. I knew what that voice sounded like, what his face looked like while saying it. He was intimidating, demanding, and bossy as hell. But he had a vulnerable side to him. The side that had made me fall for him in the first place.
I can’t do this right now. I hit send and turned my phone off. I wasn’t ready to deal with anything.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I stayed in bed the rest of the night switching between dozing off and crying. It was the first time I really wished I had my mom. Throughout all our struggles and the let downs, my heart was breaking, my life was turning upside down, and sometimes, a girl just wanted her mom.
But I didn’t have a mom.
The hotel phone rang, startling me from my self-induced sleep coma. The clock flashed 10:25 a.m., and I knew I had slept the entire night away. I reached over and grabbed it. “Hello?”
“Good morning, ma’am. We have a woman here requesting to see you, but there’s been a block for all visitors on your account.”
A woman? “Who is it?”
“A Miss Staci Millard.”
“Oh…yes, you can send her up.”
“Of course, ma’am.”
“Thank you.”
I braced myself for what was to come. I’m sure she had called me a hundred times since I had turned my phone off, but I just wasn’t in the mood for anyone’s pity. Hell, I was sick of my own.
Five minutes later, a knock on the door announced Staci’s arrival. I peeked through the hole just in case and saw an anxious, worried Staci on the other side. I opened it up slowly, waiting for the ambush of questions and demands.
&nbs
p; “Oh…my…god…” she drew out slowly. “You look awful.”
I waved my arm out, motioning for her to come in. “Well, by all means, come on in.”
“Sorry,” she said, curling her lip. “I just mean…”
“I know what you mean.” I shut the door behind her. “I’m a mess.”
“Well…” She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s why I’m here!” She wrapped her arms around me and engulfed me a big bear hug.
I pulled my arms around her and hugged her back. “You didn’t need to come,” I offered, pulling away. “There’s not much anyone can do anyway.”
She looked at me almost offended. “I’ve been calling and texting you nonstop. I was worried.”
“I’m sorry.” I shrugged, defeated.
“I’m only here to be with you, Mac,” she explained. “For the support, to help you forget, to help you make plans, whatever you need.”
I walked back into the bedroom area and sat down, patting the spot next to me so she’d join me. “I don’t know what to do, Stace. I mean, I know what needs to get done, I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”
She grabbed my hand and covered it with hers. “You’re one of the strongest, bravest people I know. You don’t need to decide right now, but just know, you will need to decide at some point.”
“I know.” My shoulders slumped as I brought my knees to my chest. “I feel like an idiot. I’m so embarrassed, Stace. It’s one thing to have rumors spread about you, but it’s an entirely different thing to have them be true. At least people can speculate and assume, pointing their fingers and passing judgments.” I focused on the wall in front of me, burning my eyes into the tanned-colored paint. “But then I’d be able to prove them wrong, show up with William somewhere, and broadcast our love, shutting everyone up. But this…I can’t cover it up. The engagement’s over, I’ll be moving out, people will know. They’ll know the rumors were true.”
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