“You look so beautiful.” I smiled as her mom locked her grandmother’s necklace around her neck. It was her something old.
“You do, too, Mac.” She reached out and grabbed my hands. “Thank you for being here. Thank you for being in my wedding and getting me through this. I’ve been so stressed out about everything, it was nice to just laugh and let loose for a few hours.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“All right, ladies. We need you outside for pictures quick,” the photographer announced, pointing to the door.
We spent the next hour posing for pictures. I watched quietly nearby as she took several alone and then with her parents. She looked so happy, so gorgeous. I had almost everything picked out for my wedding, including my wedding dress, and now it would just sit. I had no use for it and that thought made me sad.
Perhaps I just wasn’t the marrying kind. I had absolutely no examples of what a marriage was growing up, and I wasn’t even sure I’d be any good at it.
The wedding ceremony was absolutely stunning. I cried as they said their vows and again when they had their first kiss. Her new husband, Oliver, was the absolutely best guy in the world for her, and I felt incredibly blessed to witness their union.
“Stop crying.” Staci nudged me, grabbing my attention, as she handed me a glass of wine.
“I’m not crying because I’m sad,” I explained, grabbing the glass. “I’m really happy for her.” She sat down next to me as we watched the newlyweds dance to their first song.
“You’re crying because you were supposed to have that and now you aren’t.”
“I always thought William was it for me—the whole fairytale. But I really just wanted someone who got me. Who loved me for all my broken pieces and helped me be a better person. When I met William, I forgot that. I forgot it because he was never around. And somehow, in the midst of our relationship, I just accepted he wasn’t.”
“You aren’t broken, Mac. We all have flaws,” she reassured.
I shrugged, knowing she was partially right. My head felt like a tornado had blown through it. I wanted Alex, but I wasn’t certain the damage done could be repaired. I didn’t know if taking the risk of getting hurt by him again was something I’d be able to recover from again.
“You miss him.” Her voice was soft, genuine, and low.
I nodded, sipping my champagne. “Yes,” I whispered just loud enough so she could hear me. “So much that it’s starting to be physically painful from how much my chest aches when I think about him.”
“You are the queen of denial, Mac, but you can’t deny how he makes you feel. And even though I’ve never met him in person, I can tell by the way you talk about him he just isn’t going to sit around and wait for you to make up your mind.” She flashed me a knowing grin.
“I know…” I said harshly, keeping my head down.
She stayed silent a moment before asking, “I’m going to grab some cake. Want some?”
“No, thanks.” I forced a smile in return.
I continued sitting and finishing the rest of my champagne when the dance floor cleared and the start of How Do I Live came on through the speakers. I narrowed my brows in confusion and looked around, wondering where everyone was going.
My heart throbbed in my chest as soon as I saw Alex walking across the dance floor toward me. He looked incredible in a sleek, black tuxedo. His hair was perfectly styled and his mouth looked delicious as he flashed me his legendary shit-eating grin. It felt like my breath was being sucked out of me the closer he got.
My body trembled when he stood in front of me and smiled. “May I have this dance?” He put his hand out, waiting for me to grab it. I glanced down to prevent him from seeing the stupid grin on my face. I tilted my face to look back up at him and nodded.
I placed my hand in his and let him guide me back to the dance floor. My heart continued to race, my body on fire at just getting to feel his skin against my skin. I couldn’t believe he was really here.
He spun around and pulled me to his chest as he grasped my hand. I looked up at him as he smiled down at me, the look in his eyes intense and filled with lust.
“You remembered,” I whispered.
“Remembered what?”
“This song.” I smiled. “That it was my favorite part of the movie.”
“Of course I did.” His lips curled up. “I remember everything you’ve told me, Mac. Even the things you haven’t told me, but showed me. I’d never be able to forget.” I smiled and lay my head against his chest.
We continued dancing in silence before he finally spoke up. “I’ve been asking myself that same question…”
I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth as I cautiously asked, “What question?”
I leaned back and looked at him as he flashed his eyes toward the speakers and then blinked back down to me. “How I’m supposed to live without you. Or Breathe. Or Survive.” I felt him tighten his hold on me. “All of it.”
I swallowed as I saw the pain in his features. “And have you come to a conclusion?” I asked leery.
“Yes.” He grinned and lowered his face to mine. “I’m not. I refuse to.” I blinked nervously as I bowed my head. He cupped my jaw and brought my eyes back up to him. “I can’t, Mac. You’re it for me. Since the moment I heard your laugh, felt your lips, knew what it was like to hold you—I knew.”
He leaned in, pulling my chin toward him and closed the gap between our mouths. His lips brushed against mine, sending shivers down my entire body as he deepened the kiss, reminding me exactly what I was missing.
I wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me—if that were even possible—and sunk deeper into him. His lips were warm and soft, his body against mine molded perfectly to me, and I was an idiot for pushing this man away.
His hands on my lower back held me firmly against him. He slowly broke the kiss but kept our faces close together as he leaned his forehead against mine, mingling his breath with mine.
“How’d you know I was here?” I asked, pulling back slightly to look at him. I hadn’t even noticed a few more couples had joined us on the dance floor.
“A little birdie told me.” I looked around and saw Staci leaning up against the bar with Britt. When our eyes met, she smiled and winked at me. Of course, she was the master of deception.
“Adding wedding crashing to your resume now?” I teased.
“Whatever it took,” he said confidently, leaning down and kissing me gently on the lips as the song ended. “But I’m ready to get the hell out of here now.”
Chapter Thirty
Just as the song ended, he dragged me off the dance floor and led us into the elevator, nearly ripping my clothes off. I clung to him for support, needing him like my next breath. His mouth on me was hot, greedy. His taste alone sent shivers down my body, heating my arousal for him even deeper.
“You remember what we did in the elevator that first night?” he growled, pulling both of my arms up over my head and wrapping his hands around my wrists. “You remember how much you begged for it?” he spoke under his breath against my ear.
I inhaled deeply, desperate for him to touch me and panted, “Remind me.” Those two whispered words fueled the challenge in his eyes. He pressed his hips into mine, pinning my body to the wall. His mouth covered mine, greedily and passionately as our bodies reunited.
One of his hands slid down my body as the other held my wrists. I felt him cup my breast as I moaned in his mouth, his cock pressing hard against the fabric of my clothes. His lips moved down my jawline and landed just below my ear as he whispered, “You begged me not to stop. You begged for it right there and now.”
My eyes fluttered closed as I felt his hot breath against the flesh of neck. My entire body tingled in response as he pulled the lobe in between his teeth and nipped it.
“And I almost gave in.” I felt his lips curl up in a panty-dropping smirk. I knew that grin—the one that meant I’d be doi
ng a lot more than begging tonight. His hand went under my dress, looping his finger in the fabric of my panties and moving them aside. He rubbed a finger over my slit gently, circling my clit. I moaned in anticipation, my body greedy for it.
“Alex…” I pleaded, arching deeper into him. My head fell against the wall as his finger slowly built up the arousal inside.
“Let me hear you, sweetheart.” I moaned his name again, craving him inside me. “Louder.”
“Alex, please!” His finger torturously rubbed against me again, slipping in and out slowly.
“You cried out so loud, baby…you begged for it, and I loved hearing every single pleading moan.” His voice went deep, rough.
I gasped as he finally pushed his finger in deep and hard, holding my body in place by his hips. Before I could beg him not to stop, the elevator slowed down as it reached our floor. I felt an extreme rush of disappointment when the doors flew open and he released his hold on me. I groaned, ready to beg him all over again…
He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him, walking us through the hallway. The energy between us was electric, almost unbearable as I waited for him to swipe the key. The moment the door shut behind us, his lips and hands were back on me ripping both of our clothes off.
“I need to be sure you’re ready for this,” he said, pinning my back against his chest. His hands grasped my shoulders as he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “That when you ask for it this time, there’s no turning back. No regrets.”
“None,” I said absolutely sure. “I want you, Alex.” I looked over my shoulder at him and continued, “I just didn’t always know how to accept it.”
“And you do now?” His lips curled up in a knowing grin.
“Yes,” I whimpered; eager for his lips to touch me again. “Tell me what you want to do with me,” I challenged.
He spun me around and tilted my chin up to his lips. “First…” he said against my mouth, pushing us backward, “I plan to fuck you against this wall.” My body trembled as his lips moved down my jawline, across my neck, and finally landing over my ear as he continued, “Then I plan to taste you from head to toe. As many times as it takes to satisfy the need I’ve been craving for weeks.”
“God, yes…” I panted, tightly wrapping my hands around his biceps. My head fell back as his hands gripped under my ass and pulled my legs around his waist. He pushed his hips into me, letting me feel how hard he was. I felt my arousal against the length of him, aching desperately for him to be inside me. “Alex…” I begged as he pressed his lips to my collarbone and torturously moved their way up my neck.
“Tell me what you need, baby…” he demanded, sliding his hands up my sides and landing under my breasts.
I swallowed at the intensity of his voice, panting harder as he moved his hands up and rolled my nipples in between his fingers. “I need you.”
“Whose are you, sweetheart? I need to hear you say it,” he demanded, his lips flush against my ear. I could feel the tip of him in between my legs, taunting me as I arched my body into him.
“Yours, Alex. All yours.”
“You’ve been mine, Mac. You just didn’t know it. So tell me…tell me who gets to fuck you, sweetheart?”
“You, Alex,” I breathed out. “You do.” I shrieked when he lowered one hand and squeezed my breast, palming it roughly and rolling the nipple between his fingers again.
“Christ, I love when you make that sound.”
“What sound?” I asked, intrigued.
“It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure…a moan from deep within your throat that’s mixed with a soft scream. It’s the hottest fucking noise I’ve ever heard.” Finally, he pushed inside, molding us together and giving me exactly what I was begging for.
“You feel that, sweetheart?” he whispered as I held onto him. Our bodies were joined together in the most delicious way possible.
“Yes…” I panted. I moaned his name over and over, as he continued working my body, building up the intensity as my legs tightened.
“Open your eyes, Mac. I want to see you when you come.”
Hesitantly, I opened them and looked at him as he sped up the pace, going deeper and faster and taking me over the edge. I held on tightly as I screamed through it, begging him not to stop.
“That’s my girl…” He smirked. “Put your arms around my neck,” he ordered. He pushed us off the wall and carried me into the bedroom area, setting me down on the desk. He knelt down, spreading my legs apart and looked up at me. “Don’t forget to hang on…” He winked, flashing a wicked grin. He bowed his head and kissed up my thigh until he reached right in between my legs.
I couldn’t help fisting my fingers in his hair, pulling and squeezing as he licked and sucked my clit. His tongue worked me up until I came in his mouth. I wrapped my legs around his neck as he pushed two fingers inside and continued driving inside me until I came again.
“Watching you come is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen…but tasting you as you come, nothing compares to that.” He kissed up my thigh and stomach, landing on my breasts as he took turns sucking and kissing between them both.
I squealed as he picked me up and carried me out of the room. “Where are we going?” He looked at me and winked. I could feel him hard against me still. “I could take care of that for you,” I taunted. “But I need to be on my knees.”
“Patience, sweetheart.”
He carried me into the large bathroom and set me down on the counter, standing in between my legs. “I’ve wanted you in the shower ever since that first time I saw your naked body wet and begging for it…” He cupped my jaw and kissed me, sweet and slow. He broke the kiss and looked intently at me. “I want you to know something, Mac.”
I was practically panting at how worked up he was getting me, standing naked in between his legs. I sucked in my lower lip in anticipation of tasting him in between my lips. “What’s that?” I asked bringing my eyes up to his so I could stay focused.
“That I’m crazy in love with you.” He smiled and lowered his lips to mine as he took the breath I was holding right out of me. “I’ve never told another woman that before. You’ve broken down my walls more than you realize. And...I’m never letting you go again.”
I smiled up at him, completely taken back by his words. “You’ve done more than just break down my walls, you saved me from making a huge mistake, and there are no words to express how grateful I am for you.”
“Well…” He traced his finger over my jaw line. “There are a few words that could tell me…”
“Fuck me, please?” I mocked.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were a freaking comedian.” He threw my own words back at me from that first morning.
I laughed and grabbed his face in both of my hands, pulling him closer. “Alexander Lancaster, I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to get under my skin like no one ever has. You managed to test me at every level and cross every single boundary that I had set, but in the end, it made me realize how insanely in love with you I am. And no matter how much I pushed away, you never let me go far. You helped me realize love was messy, spontaneous, and sometimes utterly inconvenient.” I smiled. “But I can’t say I’d have it any other way.”
“Those…” he paused briefly, covering my hands with his, “are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard.”
“Which ones? Messy or spontaneous?” I teased.
He quickly grabbed my hands and pulled them back behind me, wrapping one of his hands around my wrists. We kept eye contact as he palmed his cock, stroking it fast and hard. “When I’m done fucking that sweet pussy of yours, then maybe I’ll let you have it…” he said roughly, torturously rubbing the tip against me.
“Alex…” I whimpered, biting my lip to prevent from screaming at how bad I wanted it.
He released my wrists and squeezed my hips as he pushed hard into me. I gasped and clung onto him as he filled me, completely captivating my body and heart. I wrapped my legs around him
, pulling him closer to me, not wanting any space between us as we came together.
I was in love with Alexander Lancaster, and I wanted every part of me to feel it.
WE ENDED UP in the shower after, taking turns cleaning each other off. His hands and lips were on me at all times—kissing all up and down my body—touching me everywhere. I soaked it all up, loving how free it felt to finally be with him.
“Say it again,” he said as we lay together in bed. My back was to his chest as our legs tangled under the sheets.
I turned around to face him and cupped his cheek. “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I smiled at how big his grin grew.
“Again.”
“I love you.
“One more time.”
My head fell back as I laughed at his eagerness. “I love you!” He dug his fingers into my sides, making me scream and convulse as he tickled me. “Okay, stop!” I pleaded, laughing unwillingly.
He dipped his head into the nape of my neck and kissed up my jawline to my ear. “On one condition…”
“What’s that?”
“Move in with me.”
My body froze as his hands stopped their brutal attack. “Move in?” I repeated. “Isn’t that kind of fast?”
“Not really. Not when you consider the fact that you just told me you loved me on our first date.” He smirked.
“You’re such an ass.” I laughed. “This was not even a date.”
“How do you figure? There was dancing. There was sex—which we already had before when you didn’t even know my name—and if you want, I’ll order us some room service.” He wore a smug expression as he continued, “Dinner, dancing, sex. The three components of a date.”
“So do you always ask women to move in with you on the first date?”
“Only when they leave an impeccable impression.” One side of his lips curled up in a sly grin.
“Remind me that for next time then.”
“I won’t have to,” he said confidently. “My first impression of you will always be engraved in my memory. You in your short-ass dress, your hair curled and flying everywhere as you danced, and your arms waving in the air as your body moved with the music. I couldn’t look away. I needed to meet you,” he said genuinely. “You left an impression on me that night that I obviously couldn’t shake…”
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