by Keary Taylor
Borden turned his back to us and looked up at the sky through the glass ceiling. “I don’t know how you did it the last two and a half years. Dealt with all the shit we put you through. How did you never snap? How did you never kill one of us?”
Nathaniel took one step forward. “I had years of practice. The Society Boys, they were nothing new for me. I’ve been brawling for my existence my whole life. I just learned it was better to deal with the garbage than land in juvie or prison.”
Mary-Beth looked over at me then, and I saw her confusion and questioning then. She didn’t know Nathaniel’s history. She didn’t know about his placements in foster care and group homes. How he’d beaten dozens of boys to an inch of their lives. That Nathaniel knew how to fight and win. She didn’t know that he’d hurt others so bad he’d spent two years in juvenile detention.
“You’re a better man than I am, Nathaniel,” Borden said. His words were growing hoarse and low.
Outside the storm moved further out to sea.
“I’ll help you practice, brother.”
And cautiously, Nathaniel reached out a hand, once more setting it on Borden’s shoulder. This time he didn’t get shocked.
And the pages that had been lying on the desk floated into the air. I watched as they started to rearrange themselves, sorting into the correct order. I took the pages from my coat and released them into the air.
Gently, they started sorting back together, and Nathaniel carefully lowered them in front of Borden where he could see the book that was beginning to take shape.
“We stitch ourselves back together stronger for the damage,” Nathaniel said.
And I watched as Borden let out a breath, his shoulders deflating. He laid his hands out, and as the book magically formed back together, albeit without a front or back cover, or spine, it gently landed back into his possession.
“I need to get back to work,” Nathaniel said. “You good?”
And I was surprised when Borden nodded his head. “I’m good. Thank you.”
Nathaniel clapped him on the shoulder once. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like. You can even stay the night if need be. I’ll be back just after nine.”
Borden nodded in acknowledgement but didn’t turn around.
Nathaniel turned, catching my eye for just a moment as he cautiously walked back to the door.
“I actually have some homework I really needed to do in the library,” I said, guilt and dread sinking in my stomach.
“I can stay,” Mary-Beth said immediately. “If you don’t mind, Borden.”
He shook his head and didn’t say anything else.
I gave Mary-Beth a grateful smile, holding her gaze to make sure she was okay with this. She seemed confident and comfortable, so feeling an immense amount of guilt, I walked to the door to join Nathaniel.
It had stopped raining outside, so I felt a little better as we closed the door behind us and headed out of the garden. I only dared to speak when we closed the garden gate behind us and headed out over the grounds.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“I heard the thunder outside,” Nathaniel said as he laced his fingers through mine. He held our combined hands up to his mouth and blew hot air into them. Only then did I realize my fingers were ice cold. “And rain started pounding the stained-glass window. It was supposed to be sunny today and had been when I got out of class. I only know one person who can change the weather like that.”
I shook my head. “That was kind of scary. Did you see his eyes?”
Nathaniel nodded, and I could feel his own worry saturating every inch of him.
“Do you think any of us can do anything that powerful?” I asked in a rough whisper.
Nathaniel shook his head. “I don’t know. Our natural abilities are a far cry from his. Borden doesn’t even know much, and he’s already more naturally gifted than the rest of us combined.”
I was worried. We didn’t understand what Borden could do.
But what I’d said to Borden to calm him down was true.
We were all in this together, we were a family.
And families don’t turn their backs on each other, even when things get hard and scary.
Chapter Fifteen
I kept waiting for something bad to happen. The Boys had done something terrible in spreading Borden’s grimoire pages for the whole school to see. It seemed impossible that something major wouldn’t happen after.
But there were no fights. There were no confrontations. No other students questioned Borden or Nathaniel or me, or Mary-Beth.
So maybe me making James try to stop anything that came up, worked.
For three days, Borden stayed at the solarium with Nathaniel. Nathaniel spent as much time as he could with Borden. And I felt a little on the outside, because I knew they were having some intense talks, going over some heavy things. But I was kind of grateful. I didn’t know how to deal with this stuff. I’d never been bullied or picked on or been the target of anything but David’s annoyingly misplaced affection.
So, I left the boys to themselves, and I took some time to myself. On a sunny afternoon in the middle of March, I went by myself to Asteria House with my coat and a basket of snacks and a dinner I’d made for myself.
It was kind of silly, but walking into Asteria House was starting to feel more and more like home every time. Even though it wasn’t my home, and even though it was abandoned and in such terrible shape.
But this was the place where we were most free to do what we pleased, to be ourselves.
I walked up the sagging steps and into the bedroom where we always accessed the house. As I walked through to the main living area, I couldn’t help but imagine it fixed up. I pictured beautiful, clean windows, and polished wood floors. I imagined tall, sweeping curtains and a grand kitchen fit to feed an entire household of people.
We always worked on the main floor. But today I wandered up the stairs to the upper floor.
There was a balcony that looked down over the main living room, and with the tall windows, there was a spectacular view of the ocean. A long hall ran either direction from the top of the stairs, and there were a dozen bedrooms and bathrooms, each in various states of disrepair. But in one corner of the landing, there was a spiral staircase.
I climbed that today, hoping and praying that the stairs wouldn’t collapse under my weight. Because if I fell and got hurt, it might be days before anyone found me.
I made it safely to the room at the top of the tower. It was the perfect office, having windows that looked out in every direction. There was even a desk in the middle with an old, mismatched wood chair pushed beneath it.
I set my basket of food down, and went to stand at the window, looking out at the ocean.
It looked warm out there. The sun shone down on the gentle waves, and out in the distance I could see some boats. Some seagulls rode the air waves, barely even flapping their wings.
I really was a costal girl, through and through. Massachusetts was my home, and I hoped I never had to move away from the ocean.
I turned back to the desk and went to my basket. At the bottom of it, there were three rocks I’d picked up on the beach on the way here. I grabbed one, tossing it up and down as I walked around the room, thinking.
Nathaniel and I theorized that I could do alchemy because I had an affinity for earth. Which at times, I doubted. Earth was a little bit difficult to define. I could perform telekinesis on dirt, plants, even wood that had been changed into something else. Nathaniel’s affinity was paper, but paper came from trees. So why couldn’t he control wood as well as he could paper?
There was so much more to this than we understood.
I opened the book I’d brought with me, the one on alchemy. I sat down at the chair and propped my jaw on my fist, my elbow ground into the desktop.
Mages were really, really terrible at writing instructions, I’d decided. They liked to tell stories and riddles. They talked in exceptionally gene
ral terms. Sometimes it felt like they left out entire sections or skipped steps.
Which was why we were taking such meticulous notes. Even then, I drew out my own grimoire and looked over my notes from my last attempt at alchemy.
Blood. Words. Will. I’d done it all, over and over, exactly the way the alchemy book said to do. But every time, within a few hours, my rocks turned back into rocks. The gold disappeared.
I grabbed my rock again. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths in and out, feeling its weight in my hand. I let my soul reach out to it, exploring every rough surface and every scratch. I felt the history of it and the time it had taken to form it and then shape it into this smooth shape.
I need this, I mentally told the rock. I need to be able to use alchemy to make a safe space for us. I need to be able to support us. I need us to have peace of mind for the future.
As if the rock could hear me, I begged it.
And then softly, I muttered the words as I grabbed the paring knife from my basket. “Spiritus sanguinis mei, et cor meum: ut quod fuerit ferrum, et hoc in clara.” I pricked my finger, and I smudged my blood into its rough surface.
It soaked into the rock, staining its surface. And slowly, where once it was dark red, it changed to gold. Like veins running through the rock, it turned from gray to shimmering yellow.
Within seconds, I could perfectly see my own reflection in the surface of the shining lump of solid gold.
Once more, I closed my eyes, and reached out to every sense of earth I could find around me. Which was a lot. I could feel all the dirt on the floor. I could feel the salt stuck to the outside of the windows. I could sense the sand out on the beach, and the lapping waves of the ocean outside. I felt the bedrock beneath the house, and the grass along the ground outside.
Let it be changed, I thought out to whatever might hear me. Whatever might listen.
Something tingled in my blood. I felt all the hairs on the backs of my arms stand on end. It felt as if something rushed up the back of my neck, up and over my scalp.
My eyes slid open, and I looked at the gold in my hand.
It looked exactly the same as all the other times I had done alchemy, but it felt different.
With excitement, I sat at the desk, and I opened my grimoire to the first blank page. I scrawled out what I’d just done, what I’d thought. I accounted everything I’d felt and done.
Let this be the one, I thought to myself and to the gold and all the earth around me.
When I was finished recording, I closed the book and took hold of the next rock.
I did exactly the same thing. The same process. And I felt the same way.
I repeated it with the third.
By the time the sun started to set behind me, I had three shimmering gold rocks.
I couldn’t explain it. It just felt different.
So, with nervous anticipation, I went home and I went to bed that night. I didn’t sleep well. I had stress dreams all night long.
But when I woke in the morning, my three rocks were still gold.
Chapter Sixteen
On Friday, we all needed a break from the normal. Classes were getting harder and more intense. Mid-terms were one week away. So, the four of us decided to go out to the movies.
It wasn’t a very good one. Really, it was probably the most ridiculous and low budget movie I’d ever seen in my life. So, my mind started wandering as Nathaniel’s hand slid over my thigh.
Through the dark, my eyes slid over to him. He was staring straight forward, his eyes fixed on the screen. But his hand ran a little higher up my thigh.
I leaned in closer to him, appreciating his body heat in the cool theater. I crossed my legs, angling my entire body a little closer to him. And as I leaned in, our lips gently searched for each other in the dark.
I sometimes missed when it was just the two of us. When we could spend hours making out whenever we wanted. When we could sigh heavily and take up all the space we wanted. Now Mary-Beth and Borden were almost always around. Now we were restrained to holding hands and quick pecks, so we didn’t embarrass anyone.
But here in the dark, I didn’t care for a minute. I relished it as Nathaniel’s hand slid up my neck, his fingers headed for my hair. I felt adrenaline flood my system as I parted my lips and his tongue lanced into my mouth. I ran a hand up his chest, appreciating every rise and fall of his body.
I was alive here in the dark, and I loved every second of it.
In the end, I couldn’t have told anyone what that movie was about. But I came out with wild hair and swollen lips, and I didn’t even care.
“Well, that was uncomfortable,” Mary-Beth said as we walked out once the movie was over. She grabbed a handful of popcorn left over from her bin and threw it at me with a smirk.
“Don’t be jealous,” I said as Nathaniel and I walked hand in hand. “We’re going to find you your bad boy someday. Do you want him to be a mage, or just normal?”
“Like it matters if he’s a mage,” she said as we walked through the lobby and pushed our way outside. “I’m most likely human anyway. You’re all going to forget about me soon.”
“Yeah, right,” I said as I hooked my arm through hers and hugged her in closer to me. “Who could ever forget the insatiable Mary-Beth Foster.”
She smiled, scoffing at our ridiculousness.
“How about you, Borden?” she said. “Do you hope the future Mrs. Stewart is a mage or a human?”
“I’m not exactly looking to hide what I am from the love of my life,” Borden said, barely entertaining our game. “If such a woman even exists.”
“You don’t think there’s someone out there for everyone?” Nathaniel asked.
Borden just shrugged. “I’m not so convinced that there’s such a thing as ‘the one.’ I think two people with common goals and attraction can be happy and in love, so long as they’re committed.”
I couldn’t say I disagreed with him. But he was stealing so much of the magic out of love.
“We’ll find her someday,” I said, and Mary-Beth bumped his shoulder with hers, as if we were the same person. “I’ve been thinking anyway. We’re going to have to eventually start testing other students. I think that maybe, come fall, we could manage taking on another mage.”
“Expand the circle?” Mary-Beth said. “What if I don’t like them? What if it’s someone horrible, like Marie Duncan?”
I knew what she meant. Marie Duncan was always chasing after David Sinclair, even though she was rich all on her own, considering her family. But she was mean and nasty, and she and David totally deserved each other.
“Well, if it’s Marie Duncan, we can let her continue to exist in ignorance,” I said with a laugh. “But let’s go into it with a good attitude. It’s going to be someone amazing, who we’re all going to love as family. Maybe it will even be someone one of you will fall in love with.”
“Doubtful,” Mary-Beth and Borden said at the exact same time. Which caused everyone to laugh.
We were most of the way back to Alderidge by this point. It was pitch dark out, and the hour was pushing eleven. We should all be going home to bed, but it was the weekend, and the vibe certainly wasn’t pointing us in the direction of separating.
So together, we all headed toward the solarium, the one place one of us lived that had any kind of privacy.
The weather was getting warmer by the day, and even a few daffodil starts were poking out of the ground here and there on the university grounds. A few more weeks and we could start dressing in fewer layers.
Nathaniel held the gate open for all of us, and single file, we worked our way down the stone path.
And then I bumped right into the back of Borden, who had stopped right in his tracks, just before the door.
“What are you doing?” I asked, taking a step back, only to step right into Mary-Beth.
A curse slipped from Borden’s lips, and my blood instantly turned cold.
I stepped around him to see what was w
rong.
A few dim lights glowed from inside the solarium. So even though it was dark, I could still see just enough.
The entire solarium was starkly empty.
Chapter Seventeen
Nathaniel pushed his way past us all and stepped into the solarium. He stood there in the empty space, looking all around, as if he was waiting for his things to magically reappear.
Feeling absolutely sick, I walked in, taking in the barren solarium.
I’d never thought of Nathaniel having that many things, but now that it was all gone, I realized it was more than enough to make it home for him. His bed was gone. His books were nowhere to be seen. The old leather couch had been hauled out as if it weighed nothing.
All that remained was an empty wood floor.
“What the hell?” Mary-Beth breathed out as she looked around. “They took…everything.”
“No,” I said, my blood growing hotter as I looked around. “I…I made Nathaniel invisible to the Society Boys. I made it so they would leave him alone. They…they shouldn’t have even been able to do this.”
“They didn’t do this to Nathaniel,” Borden said. His voice was heavy, his words low. “They did this because of me. Because I’ve been staying here for the last week.”
“James was supposed to stop them, if they were going to try to do anything against you,” I said, searching for any kind of reason, anything to make this all make sense. “He was supposed to interfere.”
“Anything could be the reason why, though,” Mary-Beth said. “He might not have been around for this. They might have tied him up and locked him in a closet. This is David Sinclair we’re talking about. He does what he wants.”
“I don’t even care about all of my stuff,” Nathaniel said as he walked toward the empty brick wall that once held his hand made bookshelf. “But my books…”
My blood ran cold. “Nathaniel, what books did we have here?”
He continued to stare at the wall while he considered what had been in the solarium, what had been in my mother’s office, and what was at mine or Mary-Beth’s place.