Strength of the Heart

by Carrie Carr

  "What's going on here?" a man's deep voice inquired. "You girls having a spat?" Hubert had been sitting in the corner when he saw Lex come in. He knew of Francine's predatory ways, so he sat back and watched as she zeroed in on his sister. When the waitress put her hands on Lex's back, he knew a fight was about to break out.

  "Why don't you mind your own business and crawl back under your rock?" Lex spat, her nerves already on edge.

  "No sense in getting all riled up, little sister. Did you and your little girlfriend have a fight? I never thought I'd see you back in here."

  She eyed her brother suspiciously. "No. I just needed some space, that's all."

  "Ah, well. I can understand that. It's probably a little rough on you, since you killed our old man, and all."

  "You bastard!" Lex lunged forward and punched her brother in the face. She tangled her fists in his shirt and slammed him into a nearby table. "I ought to wring your worthless neck." She felt several hands pulling at her from behind, as she continued to slam his head onto the scarred wood. "Take it back, you son of a bitch!"

  Hubert almost smiled as his sister proceeded to take her anger out on him. "Please," he called weakly, "get her off of me." He continued to lie back passively on the table as several men finally managed to pull her away.

  Lex continued to try to wrestle away from the strong hands holding her. "Let me go, dammit." She stopped her struggle when a slender man in uniform blocked her vision. "Shit."

  "What's going on, Lex?" Charlie looked into her shadowed eyes, and then down at her scraped knuckles.

  "Nothing," she mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.

  Hubert stood and wiped at his bleeding face. "That's not true. She attacked me." He looked around the bar. "Anyone in here can tell you that. Right, Francine?"

  Charlie looked at the blonde, who was biting her lip. "Well? What happened in here?"

  "Lex and I were talking," Francine started, looking from one sibling to the other, "and he came over and started mouthing off at her." The incredulous look on Hubert's face almost made her laugh. "He got right up in poor Lex's face, and started talking about their father. She pushed him away, and he must have hit his face on the table."

  "That's a complete lie, you little slut!" the big man yelled. "She attacked me, unprovoked. Ask anyone here."

  "Is that true, Bob?" the sheriff asked the bartender. "Did you see what happened?"

  Although Hubert was a good customer of the bar, Bob shook his head. He had never liked him. "I'm sorry, Sheriff. I was busy serving my other customers. I didn'st see a thing."

  "You're not supposed to be within one hundred yards of your sister," the lawman reminded Hubert.

  "Don't blame me, I was here first. There's not a law against that, is there?"

  Deciding to let the matter drop, Charlie turned his attention back to Lex. "Maybe I should just take you home."

  "Or maybe you should let me take her home," a voice from the end of the bar offered. Amanda edged by Francine and stood next to her lover. "I think we need to talk," she murmured quietly.

  Lex nodded. "I guess we do." She forced herself to look into the sheriff's eyes. "I'm sorry about the trouble, Charlie." Lex turned around to face the bartender. "Bob, if you'll just send me a bill, I'll gladly pay for any damages." She allowed Amanda to take her by the arm and lead her from the bar.

  "I'm sorry about your father, Lex," Francine whispered in her ear as she went by. "You take care of yourself, you hear?" She kissed Lex on the cheek and then sat back on her barstool. "Come on, Bob, pour me another. I've got some catching up to do."

  "I'll see your ass in court, little sister," Hubert yelled after the women. He turned around to glare at the other people in the bar. "What the hell are y'sall looking at? Assholes." His hands found his drink on another table, and he sat back down to finish it.

  Chapter Five

  THE SMALL HOUSE was dark and quiet as Amanda pulled Lex's truck into the driveway. Only a couple of blocks from her grandparents's house, the two-bedroom rental was nice, but she missed the ranch. Lex had approved a design similar to the old house with only a few modifications, and construction on the new ranch house was moving along well. She sighed as she turned off the ignition, and looked over at her sullen partner. "Lex?"

  "Hmm?" Lex's eyes had been closed, but she opened them and looked around at Amanda's entreaty. "Oh, sorry."

  Once inside, Amanda dropped the keys on the table in the hallway and followed Lex into the adjoining living room. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, sitting down next to her partner on the colorful sofa.

  "I'm not sure where to start," Lex admitted quietly. She began to pick at a loose thread on the floral print.

  "How about the beginning?" Amanda grasped Lex's hand and pulled it close to her. "It's okay, love. Just take your time."

  "Hubert was right. I probably killed Dad."

  Amanda forced Lex to look at her. "No. The cancer killed him." She pulled Lex's head down onto her lap.

  The exhausted woman closed her eyes and allowed the gentle touch to soothe her. "You remember when I packed up after getting Dad out of the hospital?"

  "Mmm-hmm."

  "Once we got started, I realized how weak he had become. I should have kept him closer to town, or at least near a main road. He had no business being out there in his condition."

  Amanda's hands stopped for a moment, then continued their ministrations. "You were honoring his last wishes, Lex. Nothing you could have done would have helped him." She leaned down and softly kissed her head. "Did you get to talk much?"

  Lex wiped her face with the palms of her hands. "Some. But he was so worn out once we made camp. He slept the rest of that day, and I was afraid he wouldn'st wake the next morning." A muffled sob broke from her chest. "Dad woke early that morning and couldn'st even get out of his bedroll. I watched him sleep some more until late that afternoon. He woke again just long enough to tell me that he loved me." She felt herself being pulled into Amanda's arms, and held tightly. Lex wrapped her arms around Amanda and buried her face in her lover's chest.

  "Shhh. It's okay, love. I've got you." Amanda rocked them both back and forth, crooning words of comfort and stroking the strong back. "I've got you."

  AMANDA PULLED THE blanket over Lex's slumbering form and quietly left the living room. She went to their bedroom at the other end of the small home and picked up the telephone. "Martha? This is Amanda." Her voice quavered slightly as she pictured her kindly face. "I found Lex and brought her home."

  "What's wrong? Is she all right?"

  She shook her head, then realized that Martha couldn'st see her. "No. Yes. Oh, damn. Physically she's fine, I suppose. But--"

  "Do you want me to come over? I can be there in about half an hour," Martha offered, unable to keep the worry out of her voice.

  "I don't know," Amanda choked, as tears fell from her eyes. "She's feeling a lot of guilt about her father's death, Martha. I'm not sure how to handle it."

  "Where is Lexie? Is she there with you?"

  "No. She's in the living room, asleep on the sofa." Amanda fell back on the bed, her eyes searching the ceiling for answers. "You were right. She was at that little bar down on Third Avenue. When I got there, Charlie had just broken up a fight between her and Hubert."

  Martha closed her eyes. "I was afraid of that. That boy always did pick on her when she was down. He didn'st hurt her, did he?" Her voice warned that there would be consequences to pay if he had.

  The unusual vehemence in Martha's tone caused Amanda to chuckle slightly. "Uh, no. Her knuckles are a bit raw, but I don't think he touched her." A shuffling sound at the doorway caused Amanda to look up. Oops. Busted. She covered the mouthpiece with her hand. "Hi. Can I get you anything?"

  "Nah. I thought I heard voices, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Lex turned to give her lover some privacy.

  "Hold on." Amanda waved her hand. "Come here."

  The tired woman shook her head, but walked over
to the bed and sat. She studied Amanda's face for a long moment, then looked down at the navy blue bedspread. Amanda's exhaustion was easy to see, and Lex could have kicked herself for not noticing sooner.

  Amanda watched the emotions flicker across Lex's face, then remembered that Martha was waiting patiently on the other end of the line. "Can I call you back?"

  "Lexie must be with you," Martha guessed. "If you need me, just call. I'll keep the line free, okay?"

  "Thank you, I sure will. Bye." Amanda hung up the phone and exhaled heavily.

  "Are you all right?" Lex reached over and brushed the hair out of Amanda's face with one hand, smiling slightly as she leaned into her touch. "I'm sorry about earlier."

  Amanda's eyes widened. "Don't you dare apologize, Lex." She reached up with both hands and captured Lex's fingertips. "You'sve been through an awful lot lately, and I'm very glad that you felt comfortable enough to confide in me. After all the times you'sve been strong for me, how could I do any less for you?"

  Silent tears began to fall from Lex's face. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I hope to God I never stop doing it." She sniffled and leaned forward, lightly kissing Amanda on the lips. "I love you."

  "I love you, too," Amanda murmured, as she tangled her hands in Lex's hair, pulling her down with her as she leaned back onto the bed.

  Lex felt her heart speed up as she gently draped her body across her lover's. God...what she can do to me with just one kiss. She felt sure hands tug at her tee shirt, pulling it free from her jeans. Warm fingers began to trace over her back, and she gasped as Amanda unclasped her bra with one hand. "Where did you learn to do that?" she whispered. A sudden hunger replaced the sadness in her heart, as Lex felt the overwhelming need to reaffirm the love they shared.

  "You'd be surprised at the things I know." Amanda lifted the tee shirt over her partner's head. She tossed the garment to the floor and found herself quickly divested of her shirt as well. Soft lips began to blaze a trail down her throat as Amanda vaguely wondered when she'd lost control of the situation. Feeling the button on her jeans released, she decided she didn'st care.

  "SO," LEX ASKED much later, "who were you talking to on the phone?" She was leaning back against the headboard of the bed, Amanda's equally naked body sprawled comfortably across her chest.

  Amanda turned her head, so that she could look into her lover's eyes. "Martha. I promised I'd call her after I found you."

  Lex's mouth turned upwards into a wry smile. "I was going to ask how you found me so quickly. I'm sorry about running out like that." She ran her fingers through Amanda's hair, mesmerized by how the soft strands felt against her skin. "I felt as if the walls were closing in on me."

  "You don't have to apologize, love. I just wish you weren'st hurting so badly."

  "That's no excuse for my running off like a kid. You deserve better than that." Lex's fingertips traced the contours of Amanda's face.

  "I was afraid."

  Amanda sat up, alarmed. "What were you afraid of?"

  Suppressing the urge to race from the room, Lex dropped her gaze to the sheet that had tangled around their bodies. No. You're going to talk this through with her if it kills you, Lexington. Quit being such a damned coward. "When I heard you two talking about my dad, it brought back a lot of memories. I had to leave before I did something stupid."

  "Memories?" Amanda brushed her hand lightly across Lex's arm.

  "Yeah." Feeling Amanda's calming touch, Lex closed her eyes. "All my life, I've had to listen to folks talk about how he wasn'st much of a father." She reopened her eyes and sadly met her gaze. "I've defended him for as long as I can remember."

  Tears of compassion filled Amanda's eyes. "Oh, honey. Martha was just concerned about you. I don't think she meant anything by it."

  "That's not it. don't you see?" Lex took a deep breath to try to calm herself. "I wasn'st mad at her, or you." She ran her fingers through her hair. "It was me that I was so upset with," she whispered sadly. "I felt the same way she did."

  "Lex, you have every right to be upset."

  "No," she sniffled, angrily wiping at her eyes, "I don't. He wasn'st even going to tell me he was sick, until I forced it out of him." Sitting up and tangling her hands in the sheet, she looked longingly at the doorway. "I had no right at all. He came back to say goodbye, and I practically forced him to stay."

  "You're his daughter, Lex. Of all people, you have the right to be upset." Amanda ran one hand down the taut back. "Quit being so hard on yourself, love. Maybe deep down inside, he wanted you to find out--he just wasn'st sure how to tell you."

  Swallowing hard, the upset woman tried to hold back the tears. "Right before he, died," Lex murmured, "Dad told me he loved me and was proud of me." Her voice broke, and she covered her eyes with one hand. "Why did it take him dying for him to say that?"

  The ringing phone saved Amanda from trying to answer her. She watched as Lex wiped the tears from her face and picked up the handset.

  "Hello? Oh, umm, hi." Lex cleared her throat and looked at her partner. "Thanks, Michael. I really appreciate that. Would you like to talk to your daughter?" She gave Amanda a half smile and handed the phone to her.

  "Amanda, sweetheart," Michael's gentle voice filled her ear. "How's Lex holding up? I'm sorry I missed you two at the service."

  She smiled to herself. Lex and her father had become very good friends recently. He was teaching Lex what he knew about business, and she had agreed to give him riding lessons as soon as the weather began to cooperate. Much to Amanda's amusement, the two of them would spend hours talking about all sorts of things. "Hi, Dad." Amanda watched as Lex quietly dressed. "I'm sorry we missed you, too."

  Lex tilted her head toward the door, and then with a small wave she left the room.

  "--do for you?"

  "Hmm?" Amanda's attention was on the empty doorway. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

  "I asked if there was anything I could do for you, or Lex. She's got to be taking this pretty rough."

  Remembering the look on her lover's face, Amanda sighed. "Rough doesn'st even begin to cover it, I'm afraid. She's got a lot of unresolved issues, and I think that helping him leave the hospital put a lot of guilt on her shoulders."

  "Would you like me to talk to her? Maybe I can give her a father's perspective. I think I can appreciate where Rawson was coming from." Michael had only recently mended his own fragile relationship with his youngest daughter. He could understand all too well the feelings Rawson Walters felt when he realized that he was dying. Amanda heard the emotion in her father's voice. She hadn'st considered how Rawson felt, only what it was doing to Lex. "Would you mind? I think she's going out to the ranch in the morning. Maybe you could talk to her out there."

  "Consider it done, sweetheart. Is there anything else I can do? You're both too tired to cook; can I bring anything over?"

  "Are you offering to cook for us?" Amanda stifled a giggle at the thought of her father in the kitchen.

  He laughed along with her. "Uh, no. But I can pick something and bring it over. I'm quite adept with the takeout menu from the Peking Palace."

  "I'm sure you are. But no, we don't need anything. The kitchen is most likely full. Gramma told me that the Ladies Auxiliary took over the kitchen earlier. I haven'st been in there yet to see just how much they left."

  "That's right, I'd forgotten all about that. Well then, I guess I'll leave you to their tender mercies. But if either of you need anything, please call. I'd like to be here for you both, if you'll let me."

  "Thanks. Just see what you can do for Lex tomorrow. Maybe talking to you will help her."

  "You'sve got it. Why don't you get some rest? I'll talk to you again tomorrow."

  "I will." Amanda's voice cracked with emotion. "I love you."

  "I love you, too. Goodnight."

  As she hung up the phone, Amanda marveled at how well her life had turned out in the past seven months. I'm in love with a wonderful woman, have the relationship
I've always wanted with my father, and have a job I enjoy. What more could I possibly ask for? She climbed out of bed, grabbing her clothes that had been strewn about the floor. "Think I'll go see what's in the kitchen." She dressed quickly. "And see what I can coax a certain tall, dark, and good looking rancher into having for dinner."

  Chapter Six

  "NO, NO, NO. You'sve got to make sure the labels face the front. That's what makes this job so important." The teenager used his index finger to shove his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. He proudly pointed at his nametag. "I'm a stocking supervisor, Uncle Rick. If you work hard and apply yourself, you could be one, too."

  The big man put his hands on his hips and glared at the gangly youth. "Look, Kenny, I appreciate you putting in a good word for me to get this job, but this is only temporary." Rick Thompson had been out of work since his firing from Sunflower Realty months earlier. His nephew talked him into coming to work at the Super Mart, Somerville's largest grocery store. Since he had no prior experience, Rick had been placed as a stock boy under the seventeen-year-old's tutelage. "I'm waiting to hear back from a couple of places."

  "Uh-huh. Right. Mom told me to get you this job. She said she's tired of you living in our garage." The boy crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. "Just because we're family, don't be expecting me to cut you any slack. I'm up for an assistant manager position as soon as I turn eighteen." Walking away, Kenny tossed one final comment over his shoulder. "Make sure this entire aisle is fronted properly before you clock out, Uncle Rick. I'd hate to have to put a written reprimand in your file your first week on the job."

  "Smart-mouthed little pissant." Rick turned his attention back to the shelves, angrily straightening the boxes. He wanted nothing more than to slap the arrogant look off the boy's face.

  "Excuse me," an elderly voice interrupted his thoughts. "Can you tell me where the artichoke hearts are? I can'st seem to find them anywhere." The small gray-haired woman peered at him over her wire-frame glasses. "I don't think I've seen you in here before. You're kind of old for a stock boy, aren'st you?"