by Carrie Carr
The gentle touch only made Amanda cry harder. "I don't think I can do this, Jeannie," she sobbed, her face partially buried in a pillow.
The only thing that came to Jeannie's mind was that Amanda wanted to back out of the wedding. "Let me help." She stroked her sister's hair tenderly. "Do you want me to break it to Lex for you?"
"No, I don't want to upset her." Amanda sniffled and rolled over onto her back. "She'd probably drive over here in the middle of the night."
Jeannie's pulse quickened. She had no idea that the couple had that kind of relationship. "Are you afraid of her? We can always have the whole family with you, if you want."
It was Amanda's turn to be confused. She turned on the bedside lamp. "Jean Louise, what on earth are you babbling about? Why would I be afraid of Lex?"
"You said you can'st do this. I thought you were talking about the wedding."
"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Amanda slapped her sister's leg. "I meant I didn'st think I could go until tomorrow without some contact with Lex."
Jeannie laughed along with her. "I didn'st think you two had a relationship like that, but you'sve been acting weird today. What was I supposed to think?"
Amanda pulled her sister into a hug. "Thanks, Sis. Even though you're misguided at times, I love you."
"Thanks, I think." Jeannie leaned back. "So? What are you going to do? Sneak out of the house like a teenager?"
"Probably not. But if I don't at least talk to her tonight, I'll lose my mind."
LEX STARED UP at the ceiling, unable to sleep. After dinner, she had gone back down to the stables and brushed all the horses, stacked fresh hay in the barn, and even polished her boots. She had wandered around in the den after midnight when her grandfather found her and sent her to bed. "Treating me like a child," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. Whipping the bedcovers off, Lex was about to get up when the phone rang. A quick glance at the clock showed one thirty, and she hurriedly grabbed it before it woke anyone. "Hello?"
"Lex?" The word was so softly spoken she almost couldn'st hear it.
"Yeah. Amanda? Is that you?" Lex sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. "Why are you whispering?"
"Because I don't want to wake anyone up. I was afraid Gramma wouldn'st let me talk to you, and I missed you."
"I miss you, too, sweetheart." Lex lowered her voice for no reason other than to match Amanda's whisper. "Are you okay?"
A sniffle came from the other end of the phone. "I'm fine. Just missing you like crazy. I've almost driven my family insane today with my mood swings. I think Jeannie was on the verge of having me committed."
Lex closed her eyes and soaked up her lover's voice. "I've been as bad. I rode out to the bridge today, remembering when we met."
"That was wild, wasn'st it?"
"Yeah. It was the best day of my life."
"Even with the sore ribs?"
"Uh-huh. I wouldn'st change one second of our time together." Lex felt a lump form in her throat. "Every minute with you is precious, Amanda. I treasure them all."
There was a quiet throat clearing on the other end of the phone, as Amanda tried to control her emotions. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Do you think you can get some sleep?" As much as she wanted to keep Amanda on the phone, Lex knew tomorrow's events would be tiring. "You wouldn'st happen to have seen my nightshirt, would you? The last time I saw it, I had left it on the bed this morning."
"I accidentally packed it. I'm wearing it, as a matter of fact."
Lex didn'st feel so bad. It was good to hear that she wasn'st the only one going crazy. "Well, at least it's being put to good use." She looked at the silky gown, which was draped across her own pillow. "I'll take good care of yours, too."
"Thanks." Amanda could feel sleep tugging at her. "Goodnight. I love you."
"Goodnight, sweetheart. I'll see you tomorrow." Lex waited until she heard the phone click before she hung up. With a satisfied sigh, she pulled the nightgown up against her cheek and drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Five
THE MORNING SUN struggled through the window shade, inching its way across the down-filled pillow in search of eyes to shine into. Hitting its mark, the bright streak showed no mercy. With a disgusted groan, Amanda grabbed her pillow and rolled over. Minutes later, the gentle knock on her door caused her to growl. "Go way."
"I'm sorry. But you asked me last night to wake you this early." Anna Leigh sat on the bed next to her. She was swathed in a colorful cotton bathrobe, the lavender flowers on it going well with her beautiful silver hair. She pulled the pillow away from Amanda's face. "You don't want to miss your wedding day, do you?"
Amanda rubbed her eyes. "Of course not." She blinked several times and sat up. "What time is it?"
"Almost nine. Since you were up so late last night, I did let you sleep in this morning." Her hand began to comb through Amanda's unruly hair. "How was Lexington?"
"Sometimes I swear you have the house bugged. I never could hide anything from you." Amanda hugged her pillow to her chest. "She wasn'st doing any better than I was. But we had a good talk before we went to sleep."
"I'm glad. You could have called her earlier."
"But I thought we weren'st supposed to--"
"The tradition is to not see each other before the wedding. I don't think it meant you couldn'st talk on the phone." Feeling sorry for her granddaughter, Anna Leigh patted her on the leg. "Come downstairs for breakfast. I'm sure your intended will be calling again soon."
"She's already called this morning?"
"Oh, yes. Around seven, if I remember correctly. Jacob told her as much as he valued true love, he wasn'st about to wake you up before nine."
"She's so thoughtful," Amanda sighed with a dreamy look on her face.
"She's impatient, I think." Anna Leigh started to stand but was pulled back down by Amanda.
"Thanks. For everything." Amanda gave her a fierce hug.
Anna Leigh pulled her out of bed. "Let's go downstairs and see what your grandfather has whipped up for you on your wedding day."
"LEXIE, QUIT YOUR pacing around and sit." Martha was tired of watching Lex stomp around the kitchen. She carried a plate full of food over to the table and set it down.
Lex turned away from the window and checked her watch. "It's almost nine. Maybe it's okay to call." She started to leave the room when her belt was grabbed from behind.
"You'll do no such thing." The agitated housekeeper dragged Lex across the room and pushed her into a chair. "Eat your breakfast before it gets cold."
"But--"
Sitting next to Lex, Martha placed a hand on her arm. "No buts. Today is going to be crazy, and this may be the only time you have to sit and eat."
Lex lowered her head and stared at her plate. "You're right, Martha, but I don't know if I can keep any food down. It feels like a team of horses is stampeding through my stomach."
"It's nerves talking. I felt the same way on my wedding day."
"Really?"
"Yep. As a matter of fact, if you hadn'st had such a strong grip on me when we were walking down the aisle, I probably would have fallen flat on my face."
Lex felt relieved. "It's good to find out I'm not losing my mind, then. I wasn'st this nervous the first time I tried to break a horse."
"Well, of course not. You weren'st going to spend the rest of your life with the horse." Martha stood and patted Lex on the shoulder as she walked by. "Just remember why you're doing this, and you'll get through the day fine."
"I hope so," Lex mumbled. She dutifully began to put food in her mouth, not tasting a thing. She hoped Amanda was faring better.
AMANDA GLANCED DOWN at her plate. "Tell me again why I'm doing this?" When she had come downstairs a short time earlier, she had staunchly refused any type of food, telling her grandfather she was afraid it wouldn'st stay down.
"Because if you don't eat, you'll pass out during the ceremony," Anna Leigh admonished her. "Try a few bites. You really do need to put s
omething in your stomach."
Frank, sitting across from Amanda, could see the dark circles under her eyes. "You look kind of tired."
"I didn'st get much sleep last night."
Jeannie remembered the feeling well. "Ahhh. Scared?"
"No."
"Nervous?" Frank asked, helpfully.
"Lonely, actually." Amanda picked up a forkful of scrambled eggs and stared at them. "Do I like these?"
Jacob stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "Normally you do. Would you rather I make you something else?"
"No, this is fine. I don't have much of an appetite." She began to slowly bring food to her mouth, chewing automatically. When the phone rang, she dropped her fork and jumped from the table. "I'll get it!" Amanda raced from the room and headed to the den, where she could have more privacy. "Hello?"
"Hi, beautiful. Are you okay?" Lex's concerned voice poured over her like a relaxing balm.
Amanda curled up in a large chair in the corner of the room. "I am, now. Let's never do this again."
"What? Get married?"
"No, silly. Sleep apart. I'll marry you every day for the rest of our lives, as long as I don't have to leave you."
There was a short silence on the other end of the line. "That's the best idea I've heard in a long time," Lex finally said, her voice soft. "God, I miss you."
Amanda closed her eyes. "I miss you, too." She was content to sit and listen to her lover breathe. "Only a couple of more hours. Think we'll make it?"
"Of course we will. The wedding will be a cinch. It's the reception afterward I'm not looking forward to."
"Why not? It's only a little party for the people who won'st be at the wedding itself."
Lex sighed. "Exactly. And we'll have to stay, and visit, and make small talk, and--"
"And we won'st be alone until later this evening, right?"
"Yeah."
"Don't worry, love. We'll have some time alone if I have to sneak you out the back door and make out in the truck." Before Amanda could say anything else, the front door opened, and she heard her father's voice.
"Where's the beautiful bride-to-be? I've got something for her." Michael didn'st see her in the den and walked into the kitchen.
"Was that your dad?" Lex had a feeling their phone call was about to be cut short.
"I'm afraid so. I guess we'd better start getting ready, huh?"
Silence from the other end of the phone, then Lex cleared her throat. "I guess."
Amanda could almost picture the pout on her intended's face. She wished she was with her to kiss the look away. "Lex? Come on, hon. In a couple of hours, we'll see each other again. And afterward, I don't intend to let you out of my sight."
"Okay. I guess I'll see you then." Lex paused for a short moment. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too." Amanda waited, but the other end of the line was open. "You need to hang up."
"You hang up first," Lex said childishly.
Sometimes her partner could be so unreasonable. "I love you," Amanda whispered, gently pushing the button on the phone to disconnect the call. With a heavy sigh, she stood and went in search of her father, wondering what he had brought for her.
AFTER SHE HUNG up the office phone, Lex leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She could almost feel Amanda's gentle touch, and she ached with the need to see her lover. "God, help me get through this day." She swallowed the lump, which seemed to have taken up residence in her throat since yesterday. A quiet knock at the door caused her to open her eyes.
Martha stood in the doorway with a worried look on her face. "Lexie? Are you all right?"
"Yeah." Lex yawned, standing up and stretching her arms over her head. "Just having a bout of self-pity." She reached out and pulled Martha into a bear hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Martha returned the hug, concerned about Lex. "No place else I'd rather be."
"How can a person become so dependent on someone else in such a short amount of time? I don't feel complete without her here," she whispered.
"That's what love is all about. As much as it hurts sometimes, there's no greater feeling in the world." Martha turned and placed one arm around Lex's back. "Come on. Let's go get you dressed for this shindig."
"Good idea." Lex leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you. Thanks for always being here for me."
"I love you, too. Let's get you upstairs." Martha led the way out of the office.
HER SISTER CAUGHT Amanda outside of the den and proceeded to pull her upstairs. "Hey, wait! I heard Dad come in." Amanda fought to break the grip on her arm.
"Yes, you did. Gramma told me to get you upstairs and dressed, and he'll be up in a little while to see you." Jeannie stepped into Amanda's room and closed the door behind them. "You wasted a lot of time on the phone."
"It wasn'st a waste of time." She finally shook off the death-grip Jeannie had on her. "What's the big hurry?" She looked at the clock next to the bed and her eyes widened. "The clock isn'st right, is it?"
"It is. You two sat and listened to each other breathe for almost an hour. And you haven'st even had your bath, yet." Jeannie began to untie the bathrobe Amanda wore, pulling her hands back as they were slapped away.
"Stop. I'm perfectly capable of undressing myself." Amanda fussed with the knot. "Blast it!" She struggled with the heavy tie, finally giving her sister a pleading look. "Well, don't just stand there. Help me."
Downstairs, Michael sat at the kitchen table with the rest of the family. He kept turning around and glancing back into the foyer, while playing with his coffee mug. "I never thought I'd see this day. My little girl getting married."
Frank bristled at the comment. "Why? Because she's gay?"
"No, no. Because she never showed any interest in anyone." He castigated himself silently. Michael had been too self-involved to even think about his children as they grew up.
"Hey, Mike. I'm sorry. I didn'st mean to upset you."
Michael looked at his son-in-law. "You didn'st. I was kicking myself for being out of touch with my family for so many years."
"It's all in the past, son." Jacob was thankful that Michael had changed for the better. "You're here now, that's the important thing. Why don't you go on upstairs and see Amanda? I'm sure she'd like to share this day with you."
Michael stood. "Thanks, Dad." He pulled a small jewelry box out of his pocket. "If you all will excuse me, I'm going to go give my daughter a present on her wedding day."
Halfway up the stairs, Michael almost ran into Jeannie. "After we get your sister married, I hope you have plans for spending time with your old man."
"Of course. We don't have to be back in California until next week, so we thought we'd take a mini-vacation while we're here." She kissed his cheek and pulled away. "Go on up. She's dressed already."
"Thanks." He continued his trek up the stairs, until he found himself standing outside of Amanda's door.
"WOULD YOU LOOK at you." Morris walked around the quiet woman. He and the other men had been waiting downstairs in the den while Martha helped Lex get ready. "You look positively radiant."
Lex's eyebrow rose at his words. Her dark hair shone. Recently trimmed and hanging loose around her shoulders, it spilled onto the ivory jacket she was wearing. At her request, Martha had taken the slacks up slightly, but they draped neatly on her slender hips. She held her arms out while Martha continued to fuss over the fit.
"Lexie, these pants are loose. I swear, if you don't start eating better, I'm going to--" Her words were stopped by a gentle hand to her mouth.
"Martha, please. They fit fine. don't worry so much. I can'st eat when I'm nervous. After today, you'll probably have to let out all of my pants."
Travis stepped closer. "Especially if you eat everything Martha cooks. I swear I've gained several pounds since I moved in here." He put his arm around his granddaughter's shoulders. "It's about time we leave. You ready?"
"As ready as a person can be." She
looked around the room, and did a quick head count. "I don't think we can all fit in the truck, though."
"No need to worry. I've already taken care of it," Travis led the way to the front door, opening it and gesturing ahead. "You first."
Travis's large white limousine was parked in the driveway, the uniformed chauffeur holding the rear door open. Lex turned to her grandfather and shook her head in disbelief.
"When did...how...what"
He guided her down the steps. "You don't think I'd allow my only granddaughter to drive herself to her own wedding, do you?" He turned around to the others who stood on the porch gaping at the long car. "There's more than enough room for us all. Come on."
THE BEDROOM DOOR opened and Michael became speechless. His youngest daughter stood in the doorway, her hair pulled up on top of her head with tiny tendrils falling against her neck. "You...you look beautiful." He came in and closed the door.
"Thanks." Amanda sat on the bed and patted the space beside her. "I'm so glad you're here."
Michael sat and took one of her hands in his. "I, uh, brought you a little something for today." He pulled the jewelry box from his pocket. "I saw these in a window, and they looked like something you'd like." He handed the box to her and held his breath, hoping he'd done the right thing.
"You didn'st have to get me anything." Amanda opened the box. The light hit the earrings and caused them to sparkle. "They're beautiful."
"They're half-carat channel set diamond hoops. I was afraid anything bigger would pull your ear off."
Amanda looked into her father's eyes. "Thank you."
"They're not much, but--"
"No. Thank you for being here," she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. "I love you."
"I love you, too." They sat holding each other for a few minutes before he pulled away. "Why don't you put your earrings in, and then we'll wait for them to call us. I thought I heard a car door slam a couple of minutes ago."