by Jenny Colgan
“Of course,” said Lilian. “To make conversation with if she gets bored.”
“Oh, I thought it might be something like that,” said Rosie. “Well, are you coming?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” said Lilian.
“Good stuff.”
“I’m sure Angie and Hetty will get on brilliantly . . . What does Pineapple mean? It’s written all over her top.”
“Ssh!”
“And isn’t it a bit cold to be showing off your navel?”
Pip had taken the children out to play, and Rosie busied herself making coffee while Angie and Lilian caught up with distant cousins and people Rosie couldn’t remember or had never heard of. It was amazing how many of them were dead. She guessed that was just what happened when you got this old. She half-listened and smiled at Desleigh, who scooped three spoonfuls of sugar into her coffee and tried to get closer to the fire.
“So, what do you think of our Rosie’s Stephen then?” asked Lilian finally.
“Be quiet, Lilian,” said Rosie.
“OOH!” said Angie.
“See,” said Rosie.
“How on earth did she find someone like that,” said Angie, full of delight. “Do you think they’ll get married?”
Rosie put her head in her hands.
“MU-UM! You can’t . . . you just have to shut up about it.”
“Oh come on, look at him . . . Loaded, posh.”
“I don’t care about that,” said Rosie. “Well, because he isn’t loaded: he has totally negative money and is skinter than me. And being posh is no fun, believe me. I like him for what’s underneath it all,” she went on.
“ . . . and hot like a fox,” continued Angie.
“Yes, hot like a fox,” said Rosie. “Okay. That one I’ll give you.”
“How did you get him again?” mused Angie.
“Oh, she hunted him into the ground,” said Lilian. “Rather like a fox, in fact.”
“I did NOT!” said Rosie.
“Well, how did you meet him? You’ve been very cagey about it.”
Rosie pinched her lips together. “Well. I was his . . .”
Angie grabbed her arm.
“You weren’t his nurse?”
Rosie flushed pink.
“I was. I mean, I was helping out.”
“That is SO wrong,” said Angie, delighted.
“It wasn’t like that” said Rosie.
“What, you weren’t stripping off his clothes when he was sick and vulnerable?”
“You sound like Hetty,” said Rosie. “It wasn’t like that. We didn’t get together for ages afterward.”
“How many ages?”
“Mum. Stop it, okay? How we met isn’t important.”
For once, Lilian stepped in on Rosie’s side.
“It wasn’t at all like that,” she said to Angie.
“Thank you, Lilian,” said Rosie.
“Basically, your Rosie flung herself at every man in the village, including Jake the farmhand and Moray, that nice young fairy doctor . . .”
“LILIAN!” said Rosie
“ . . . and Stephen was the one who took the bait. Of course he was recovering from a long illness . . . ,” she added thoughtfully.
“Right. You are all horrible and I disown my entire family,” said Rosie.
“Before or after dinner?” said Angie.
Chapter 13
ROSIE PUT ON a nice green dress that suited her coloring and popped into the shop to get Tina to put on her eyeliner. But when she got there, Tina was jumping up and down in excitement.
“What?” asked Rosie.
“I can’t tell you,” said Tina.
“What is it? Why not? Can I make you tell me by being your boss?”
“Oh NO,” said Tina, looking panicked. “I forgot about that.”
“I’m only kidding,” said Rosie. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. What is it?”
“But I said I’d wait . . . Oh well, I’ll just tell Jake you made me.”
Rosie nodded.
“What?”
Slowly and carefully Tina revealed her small, beautifully manicured left hand. On the fourth finger, sparkling in the light, was a tiny but immaculate diamond ring.
“OH MY GOD!” said Rosie, experiencing a rush of joy for her friend and a slight wobble she put down to being hungry and nervous. “Oh my God, Tina! Amazing! It’s beautiful!”
Tina blushed bright pink.
“I know!”
“Tell me everything.”
“Well,” said Tina. “It’s a bit rubbish really.”
“Why?”
“Because he meant to do it at Christmas. Then I was washing his overalls and I found it.”
“He kept it in his overalls?”
“Yes, he said he was terrified of me tidying around it and finding it.”
“But you were cleaning up after him anyway?”
“I like doing it,” said Tina, and indeed Rosie had often had cause to be grateful for her way with a feather duster.
“Anyway, I tried to put it back in the clean overalls and pretend I hadn’t found it.”
“Did that work?” said Rosie.
“Um, no,” said Tina. “I couldn’t stop giggling and blushing, and he found me out immediately. Do you want to try it on?”
“Um . . .”
“Come on!” said Tina and pulled it off, but it wouldn’t go over Rosie’s bigger finger. She admired it on her pinkie instead.
“Oh, it’s lovely,” said Rosie. “What did he say?”
Tina looked confused.
“He said, ‘Will you marry me?’ ”
“Oh,” said Rosie. “On one knee?”
“On one knee,” said Tina. “But he asked the children first.”
This made Rosie feel like she was going to cry.
“What do you mean?”
“He explained to Kent and Emily that he wasn’t their daddy, but he’d like to stay with their mummy if they were okay with it.”
“Oh,” said Rosie. “That’s amazing. What did they say?”
“Kent thought about it and nodded his head and told Jake he made Mummy happy, and Emily dashed in to ask if she could wear a princess dress to the wedding, and he had to grab the back of her collar to stop her spoiling the moment.”
Tina smiled at the memory.
“But she didn’t. Not a bit.”
Rosie gave her a hug. “It’s wonderful,” she said. “He’s a wonderful man.’
“He is,” said Tina complacently. “And you next.”
Rosie harrumphed. Her heart slumped.
“At this rate” she said, “I think I’ll just be lucky to get out of tonight without a big fight.”
“Your mum seems lovely on the phone,” said Tina.
“She is,” said Rosie. “Everyone is lovely. It’ll be fine.” She sighed.
“Don’t be silly,” said Tina, trying to apply eyeliner and admire her ring at the same time. “I bet Stephen will get you a ring next.”
Rosie tried to imagine it but couldn’t.
“Oh, we’re a long way from there,” she said sadly.
“Do you think?”
Rosie swallowed.
“I . . . it doesn’t matter,” she said. She had spent a very long time in her last relationship without getting engaged, so she wasn’t going to start fussing about this one.
On the other hand, Jake and Tina had started seeing each other only a very little while before her and Stephen. What made them so sure? It felt like when she and Stephen were alone, the two of them together, everything seemed ideal; they loved each other and got on perfectly.
It was only when their relationship was held up to the light of examination by family and friends
that cracks started to appear. Other people seemed to think it was a strange match, or that they were odd together, and it made her doubt herself all the time. She knew what Stephen would say: if he wanted to do something, he couldn’t care less about what other people thought. But she did, and she couldn’t help that.
All she said was, “Tina, I’m so happy for you.”
Tina’s face glowed with happiness so strong it lit up the little shop, closing up on the dark winter evening.
UP AT PEAK House, Rosie couldn’t help herself.
“Mum, are you sure you want to wear that? You’ll freeze.”
“Don’t I look good?”
“You look amazing.”
This was not strictly true. Angie was wearing a strapless floral dress that might have looked amazing on a teenager on a beach in Australia in the summer, but that made the blood freeze to look at in Derbyshire in December.
“But it’s cold up at the big house.”
“They don’t put the central heating on for visitors?”
“They don’t have central heating. They light their oil stoves for the children.”
“Who doesn’t have central heating?” scoffed Angie. “And they’re posh.”
“Well, can you at least take a shawl or something?”
“But then I don’t get to show off my tan.”
Rosie didn’t want to point out how crêpey the tan looked around the bust line. Also, the strapless dress didn’t really hold itself up terribly well, which was a bit of a worry. If they sat behind a high table, she’d look completely naked.
Desleigh, meanwhile, eating crisps, was wearing something schlumpy in black, but had put on lots of heavy eyeliner. It had the odd effect of making her look like a teenager, but in a very peculiar way.
“You look gorge, Ange, don’t listen to her.”
Shane remained buried in his Nintendo.
“Um, he’s not going to bring it, is he?” whispered Rosie to Pip, who looked bemused.
“Why not?” he said. “It’ll keep him quiet.”
“Mu-um,” said Kelly. “Meridian’s getting ready in the wrong stuff, not the stuff you told her to.”
“I AMN’T!” came a loud voice in panic.
“She is, Mum, she’s doing it all wrong.”
Kelly appeared in the sitting room wearing a Disney princess costume that was a little too tight under the arms and that gave her the rather off-putting appearance of having an incipient bust. Scampering after her looking very hot and cross was Meridian, half-strangled in a Spiderman pajama top that was far too big for her.
“Oi!” said Shane, seemingly without looking up. “Take off my pajamas, you bogan.”
“AMN’T,” came the voice under rather a lot of bri-nylon.
“Oh Lor, not with the Spiderman again,” said Desleigh. Kelly rolled her eyes at the same time as her mother.
“You’re a girl,” said Desleigh crossly. “You can’t be Spiderman”
“I SPIDERMAN.”
“You can be a princess,” said Kelly helpfully. “Or a fairy. Or a fairy princess.”Helpfully, she did a little spin.
“NO!”
“Can’t she just be Spiderman?” said Rosie, realizing it was getting terribly late.
“Not in my bloody pajamas,” said Shane.
“Don’t say bloody,” said Pip automatically.
“Has she got anything else?” said Rosie.
“She’s got my old fairy princess dress,” said Kelly. “That I very kindly let her have.”
“DOAN WANT IT.”
“Only we’re going to be late.”
Desleigh looked off into the middle distance as if this was all somebody else’s problem. Angie came forward and started negotiating with Meridian, which didn’t seem to be working in the slightest. She seemed to be on the point of begging. Rosie dashed into a bedroom and came back with one of Stephen’s old scarves. He wouldn’t mind, thought Rosie. It was an emergency.
“Now, Meridian,” she said, kneeling down so she was facing her, like Supernanny told her to do (Rosie wouldn’t have admitted watching Supernanny in a million years).
“Here’s a Spider belt for all your Spider things, okay?”
Meridian stopped bawling and looked up at her, blinking away tears.
“A real one?”
“Yes,” said Rosie, brooking no argument. “Look.”
And she pulled down the top of Shane’s pajamas, so it hung to Meridian’s knees. She rolled up the sleeves and tied the scarf around her waist to make an unconventional dress.
“And Spiderman isn’t wearing his Spider trousers today . . .”
Meridian’s lip started to quiver.“Because . . . Desleigh, have you got tights for her?”
Desleigh nodded and produced a pair of black little girl’s tights, brand new, from her bag.
“They’re to go with her dress,” said Desleigh.
“Look at those!” Rosie said to Meridian. “Look!”
She unfolded them. Meridian’s eyes started to widen.
“This is . . . BAT LEGS,” said Meridian.
“I think they are bat legs,” said Rosie.
“They! Are! Bat! Legs! Like BATMAN!”
Rosie nodded.
“You know this makes you Spiderman AND Batman?” she said. Meridian nodded reverently. “Look at my bat legs, Kelly!”
“No, they’re not,” said Kelly. “You’re a girl.”
“And I want my pajamas back,” said Shane.
“Come on, everyone, in the car,” said Angie finally, for which Rosie was very grateful.
PIP WALKED HER over.
“Are you okay?” he said. “You seem a bit stressed out.”
Rosie smiled at him.
“You are very good at never getting stressed out.”
“No point,” said Pip. “You’ve just got to roll with it. But I’m not surprised this weather makes you tense.”
“I like this weather,” said Rosie, scraping down the windscreen.
“Sure, sis, whatever you say,” said Pip. “But you know, it’s just your boyf’s house, yeah? I don’t know why you’re so stressy about it.”
Rosie considered this crossly. Neither did she.
AS THEY APPROACHED Lipton Hall along the long driveway, Rosie noticed that her mother’s mouth had dropped open at the sight of all the turrets and windows.
“It must cost a fortune to heat this place,” she said.
“Ah,” said Rosie. “For the school children it does.” She had drawn up at the back door, only to notice that Hetty was at the front door, and had to make a speedy reversal on the gravel. Mr. Dog was already squeaking from excitement. Shane didn’t even look up from his game.
Moray had phoned earlier to say that he’d drop Lilian off.
“Aren’t you staying?” asked Rosie. She wouldn’t have minded some neutral buffering. There was a long silence.
“What?” said Rosie.
“You haven’t eaten at the big house before.”
“I have so, I went to the hunt ball.”
“Oh, my darling. That was catered. You know she’s given Mrs. Laird the night off?”
“So . . . ?”
“I’ll pop an antacid prescription in on my way home, okay?”
“NOT OKAY,” said Rosie, but he’d already hung up.
THE SNOW CRUNCHED on the gravel as they disembarked. Hetty stood there giving them all the once-over. It was hard to tell what was colder: the frosty air or her glance.
“Angie . . . Angela,” said Rosie’s mum. For a terrible instant Rosie thought she was going to curtsey. “Amazing house.”
“What are you WEARING?” said Hetty. “Aren’t you FREEZING?”
“No, I’m fine,” lied Angie through chattering teeth.
Pip put his hand out and nudged Shane to do the same.
“I’m Rosie’s brother,” he said.
“And who’s this?” said Hetty, staring at Shane. Shane stared at his feet. Pip nudged him again, but he didn’t say a word, even when Angie hissed at him.
“Um, this is Shane,” said Pip.
“Is he all right?” asked Hetty.
“Yes, just shy,” said Desleigh.
Hetty sniffed.
“We’re all shy, darling,” she said.
Kelly stepped forward and did a twirl.
“I’m Kelly.”
“Nice to meet you, Kelly,” said Hetty. “Welcome.”
Kelly smiled smugly and stuck her tongue out at her brother.
“And who’s this?”
“Spiderman,” said Meridian in a tiny voice.
“What’s that?” boomed Hetty.
“I Spiderman”
“She’s called what? Simona?”
“This is Meridian,” said Rosie, putting a reassuring hand on her niece’s shoulder. “Hello, Hetty. Let’s go in, shall we. It’s freezing out here.”
“I never notice the cold,” sniffed Hetty.
“Where’s Stephen?”
“He’s just helping Lilian to the loo,” said Hetty, as usual not mincing her words, and Rosie smiled despite herself as the party entered.
It was a little warmer inside but not much. There was a fire lit in the back kitchen, where Hetty herself was doing the cooking, and that was nice and cozy, but they weren’t eating in there. They were in the proper formal dining room tonight, which was about twenty-five meters long, with a small, not very optimistic-looking fire lit in the grate. Rosie was sure that if you could see all the way up into the corner of the room (which you couldn’t because the ceilings were too high and the lighting too musty), you would see icicles form.
“It’s like The Addams Family,” whispered Angie to her daughter as they entered. “Cor.”
“I’m frightened,” whined Kelly.
“I will save you with my BAT LEGS” said Meridian bravely, karate-chopping at a suit of armor.
“Hello, everyone,” said Stephen, coming in leading Lilian.
“Stephen has just been helping me out of the car,” said Lilian in case anyone thought she’d just been to the toilet.
Angie kissed her.
“You look lovely,” she said, and she did; Lilian was wearing a cream skirt with a thick lilac tunic and a long, soft cream wool cardigan. It looked stylish and comfortable and warm all at once, and she had added a touch of lilac eyeshadow.