Talk to Me
Born in Phoenix, Arizona, Allison Dubois became aware of her ability to communicate with departed souls when she was six. After a BA in political science from Arizona State University, she worked as an intern at the district attorney’s office in Phoenix. This got her interested in using her skills to help solve crimes. Allison now devotes her life to connecting deceased loved ones to help the living, and also to help law enforcement agencies. She’s the inspiration for the internationally popular TV series Medium, and author of three New York Times best-selling books: Don’t Kiss Them Good-Bye, We Are Their Heaven, and Secrets of the Monarch.
Allison
DuBois
Talk to Me
What the dead
whisper in your ear
First published in Australia and New Zealand by Allen & Unwin in 2012
First published in the United States in 2011 by STTT, Inc.
Copyright © Allison DuBois 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.
Inspired Living, an imprint of
Allen & Unwin
Sydney, Melbourne, Auckland, London
83 Alexander Street
Crows Nest NSW 2065
Australia
Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100
Email: [email protected]
Web: www.allenandunwin.com
Cataloguing-in-Publication details are available
from the National Library of Australia
www.trove.nla.gov.au
ISBN 978 1 74331 294 0
Internal design by Squirt Creative
Set in 12.6/17.6 pt Bembo Pro by Bookhouse, Sydney
Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my grandmother, Jenee (Genevieve) Parrack, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 93. She had the most beautiful blue eyes and a sweet tooth like no other. She always said, ‘Allison, heaven won’t have me and hell don’t want me!’ She was one of a kind. We love you, Grandma. I’ll miss your cackle.
Our prayers go out to the lovely people of New Zealand and Australia. Many of you have been challenged by Mother Nature recently and you persevered.
Also, to the people of Japan, who have endured such great devastation due to the tsunami and earthquakes that have shaken your foundation. Joe and I have many friends in Japan, and they are truly some of the kindest, funniest people we’ve ever encountered. Our hearts go out to all of you. Please know that we care deeply.
Contents
Foreword
1 How spirits talk to me
2 Hearts and souls
3 Spirits and children
4 Living with life and dealing with death
5 Too close to home
6 The lighter side of readings
7 Children with the gift
8 Walking through time
9 Bad acts
10 Not forgotten
11 Team DuBois
12 Live forever
Acknowledgements
Foreword
‘What’s it like to be married to the Medium?’
Those are often the first words I hear when I am introduced to someone new. I hear it enough that I figure the chances are good that you have the same question, too. Before I get to the answer, let me tell you a little about this book, because the two topics are entwined. To read this book is to get to know Allison better, for she shares her personality in her own words, her own thoughts, her experiences with the living and, yes, the dead too.
In this book, Allison recalls some of the many people she has met during the course of her seminar tours and personal readings. Each time Allison conducts a reading she accepts some of the living person’s grief. To do this, she must connect with the deceased and die a little herself. Allison takes these experiences and connects them with a greater theme that everyone can relate to. Some are inspirational; others help with personal growth or self-awareness. Allison has a unique perspective because she is a medium. Not only does she assume the perspective of the person who has died, she also has the perspective of the healer who has seen v many ways to move through grief and see a bigger picture. By sharing these stories, Allison tries to process what she has experienced. She must do this to let the energy go; otherwise, it continues to take a toll on her, as each reading has permanently changed her.
Allison gives her perspective on each reading, yet there is another version, too. There is also the story of the living people left behind to pick up the pieces. Allison has invited some of the people whom she has read to include their experiences in their own words. She also shares the words of the deceased. The family members have spent a lifetime with the deceased, so they are able to apply the specific message to the full story of the decedent’s life and validate Allison’s information.
I feel that I can provide yet another facet by answering the question, ‘What’s it like being married to the Medium?’
As Allison’s husband, I have a unique viewpoint. I am her closest confidant. I am there for it all. I see her like no one else does. I see the depth of many readings and the common arc of the story that they tell. I see how Allison is affected and grows and changes after each reading. I see how she needs to be brought back to the land of the living and work through all of the grief she has absorbed. It’s quite a process she goes through—very emotionally taxing.
The first time I was asked this question was in 2005, just before Medium was to premiere. Allison was scheduled to attend a press junket in Los Angeles to support the new show. Our life had changed quite a bit in a short time, so there was a real chance that we would get overwhelmed. Up until that point, our life fit snugly in the suburbs. I went to work from 9 to 5, and Allison interned at the district attorney’s office. Our three school-age kids were involved in cheerleading, volleyball, etc. We had barbecues on the weekend with our friends.
Oh, yeah, there was that other thing—the way my wife had this uncanny ability to pick winning juries and detect motives and know who had committed a violent crime and when a suspect would ‘turn over’ to open up a case. Like in the Natalee Holloway case, when Allison went on CNN and said that she ‘sensed’ that Joran van der Sloot, a suspect in the disappearance of Holloway, would start bragging and sharing details of the crime in two years. That’s exactly what happened. It unleashed a media storm of strange press interviews with van der Sloot where he continued to provide details around a ‘murder’, and then ended up retracting what he had stated. Van der Sloot had also told an acquaintance of his a version of what happened that fateful night in Aruba, who then went to the authorities with the details.
There were also many instances among even the little DuBois females in our family, like the way my daughter would talk to my deceased father or scare her friends by telling them about the little girl ghost hanging around their house. But for the most part, we maintained a typical suburban lifestyle.
Then, seemingly all of a sudden, we were f lying to Los Angeles for publicity. It was so surreal.
To deal with the added stress, we tackled this together as a couple. Allison had a job to do to promote the show. She was thrust into the spotlight for all to see, with her abilities sometimes dra
wing unfounded controversy. I would like to go on about some of the less reputable press and their lack of intelligence and impartiality, but that would just be for my own gratification. My point is merely that there was a lot of pressure on Allison. Of course, I took her side and travelled to Los Angeles to provide her with both physical and emotional support. I have since found that this type of support is a recurring theme. Being a public figure isn’t as easy as some think.
Since the show was Allison’s project, and I was there in more of a support role, I was hoping not to be asked any questions by the media. The show is named Medium, not Guy Married to a Medium. I knew that was wishful thinking, though, so I tried to anticipate questions that I might be asked. If I had the answers all ready, I could hopefully overcome my natural instinct to ramble. I thought the first question would be, ‘How is the show different from your real life?’
When we showed up at the hotel where the event was being held, there were celebrities everywhere. We were introduced to a journalist, and after he finished his interview with Allison he turned to me.
I thought, ‘I’m not nervous. I’m ready.’
Here it came, the first question: ‘What’s it like to be married to the Medium?’
I guess his question was similar to the one I’d been preparing myself for, except mine was less personal, more objective, more aloof and calculated. The question he asked was more emotional, more all-inclusive, open-ended, and definitely more subjective. What were they looking for in this question?
I stumbled, cleared my throat and said, ‘Wow.’ I was trying to take a little time to think. I ended up saying, ‘We were very young when we got married—I really don’t know any other way.’
At least I didn’t ramble. I also didn’t really answer the question. It was more of a shuck and jive.
The thing is, I certainly have stories to tell about our daily life that make our experiences different. That journalist does, too. When he got back to the office and played the tape recording of the interview, everyone’s voice was clear, but Allison’s sounded like it was being played backwards. That’s kind of funny the first time it happens, but after the fourth mobile phone is replaced, or countless numbers of camera batteries are sucked lifeless, it starts to become expected.
Some things are easy to describe and are clearly not the norm. For instance, when Allison caught our daughters in little white lies about who got into the cookies, or when she waited for our daughter outside her bedroom window as she tried to sneak out. Or how Allison, or for that matter all my girls, can ‘know’ what their birthday gifts are going to be when they were supposed to be a surprise.
Other aspects of our life are harder to capture, like how Allison can sum up a person relatively quickly. So quickly that it seems like the person just left a bad first impression on her. In the beginning, Allison might share with her girlfriend that her new boyfriend is creepy or seemed ‘off ’ somehow. Of course, Allison’s girlfriend would be ‘in love’ and not want to hear this, so she’d get quite offended. In return, Allison knows what she knows and would feel that the friend did not respect her advice and shouldn’t have asked her at all. The friendship would end, then a few months later Allison would get a call: ‘You were right, I’m sorry.’
The first time that happened it was hard to mend the relationship. For that matter, it is still hard to mend some relationships. When someone asks for Allison’s help and then doesn’t like the answer, what is she supposed to do?
There are things that take time to get used to. Like driving. I usually do the driving, which has become an art of avoidance. Since Allison does sum up people rather quickly, she is affected by all of the other drivers around us. There may be one she doesn’t want to be near, and since her personality is that of a race car driver, she always wants to be in front rather than let the annoyance pass by.
Allison has a very compassionate heart for those truly in need. I have seen her go out of her way to feed the homeless. I’m not talking about the money we donate to charity, or even the time she spends volunteering at charity events, but actually buying a hamburger in a drive-thru to personally give to someone in need. She has literally given a stranger the jacket off her back—but she has no time for people who are merely working the system. I think she learned this from her Grandpa Joe. He was the same way. She believes ‘you never take more than you give’.
Some things are unexplainable. I have to keep a lot of spare light bulbs on hand because they always mysteriously break in my house. I have found that during fits of anxiety, teenage girls have the greatest power of breaking light bulbs without touching them. They also have the ability to freeze computers, snap crystals, drain batteries and otherwise affect modern life. I do not have conclusive evidence, but the weather also seems to follow Allison’s mood.
One of the most perplexing happenings was when I was driving Allison and John Edward (who is another world-renowned medium) to dinner. As soon as they got into the car, it turned itself off. All of the electronics simply shut down. The car otherwise worked perfectly; it had never happened before and it has not happened since. That was quite a night. Later on, John’s mobile phone died. I mean, it really died. He lost all of his contacts, and I think he still blames Allison for that, in a playful way, of course. The most interesting part of his phone dying is that it sat on the dinner table for 45 minutes or an hour, with the light on, but it would not fully turn on to become functional. John fiddled with it several times. Then Allison mentioned John’s mother in the conversation and the phone made a noise and powered off for good.
Allison and I have been married long enough that I can’t always tell what experiences set us apart from others and what things make us like every other couple in the world. In some ways I have it easier because Allison can read my mind. I don’t always verbally share my feelings or thoughts because she already knows them anyway.
Isn’t this how many people feel when they’re in love—the other person finishes their sentences, or perfectly acts as their counterpoint? I think you can understand why I first fell in love with this beautiful, complicated woman.
At first it seemed like I had it harder because Allison was reading my mind. When I got upset, I couldn’t hide it. If I disagreed with her, it would never come across politely because she could ‘feel’ my uncensored vibe. Even now, I can’t conceal my emotions from Allison, let alone if she outright asks me if her shoes match her dress.
It took some time for me to figure out that her picking up on my vibe is really a benefit. She can read my mind, and she married me anyway! It is a very freeing feeling learning how to really share what we all hold inside. I now live my life as though it is on the front page of the newspaper, and that’s okay.
In some ways the question about being married to a medium is similar to being asked what it’s like to be married to a redhead. I have done some research and found that redheads really are different. It has been discovered that redheads require 30 per cent more anaesthesia to be sedated. Redheads bleed more. Redheads have a higher pain tolerance, and they have a stronger libido. Not only have these traits been observed, the underlying, genetically based science has been discovered. I found these facts to be so interesting that I wonder what other differences redheads might have.
I would not be surprised if Allison’s psychic ability is related to the same genes that give her red hair. Wherever the psychic ability comes from, it is only half of what makes her unique. The other half is the strength of her personality. She has a very good sense of who she is. This strength of personality allows her to use her ability and not let her ability use her.
Allison has a public personality that is compassionate, yet tough as nails, and she is true to herself. She is tenacious and not afraid to fight if it’s for something she believes in. One thing I think people do not understand is that just because she can fight doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when she gets cut.
This book may be the real answer to who Allison really is. The words
that follow are written by Allison, not by a ghost writer. She opens up her heart and shares how she feels and how she is affected by each reading. You will catch a glimpse of the genuine Allison DuBois. And since we are all human, you may catch a glimpse of yourself, too.
Joe DuBois
12 April 2011
Los Angeles
1
How spirits talk to me
‘For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible.’
—STUART CHASE
Spirits communicate in various ways. Some ways are easily dismissed by most, others are not so easy to dismiss. I wrote this chapter so you’ll take a second look the next time someone tries to get your attention from the other side.
Have you ever seen light out of the corner of your eye, and when you turned it was gone? It’s usually a sharp, bright spark that doesn’t look like anything you’ve seen before. Don’t dismiss it or make an appointment to get your eyes checked. It’s spirits letting you know they’re watching over you. It’s most likely a relative of yours checking in on you, so just say ‘Hello’ and continue on with your chores.
Sometimes a spirit will appear as a shadowy figure. I know shadowy figures may seem scary initially, but they’re actually trying not to frighten you. They’re appearing in that form to be sensitive to you by trying to blend in with the background, while wanting to be around you. Now you know why they appear like that, hopefully you won’t find them so scary. Once they know they’re ‘wanted’ there, they communicate with you in other ways that, in my opinion, are less startling. If you sense a presence around you and feel fearful, sometimes it’s just an entity trying to warn you about a family member or someone close to you who’s needing immediate medical attention or who’s about to pass.
When I get one of these visits, I pay close attention because it can be a window for me to intervene for someone I care about. Often a picture of a person we know will f lash in our mind, and if it brings a feeling of illness or something dark, then you can take that as a warning sign. People who have passed away will attempt to save us from an upcoming catastrophic event, and if that means going through a friend of your friend because they’re the most open, then they’ll do it. So it’s essential to understand your inner voice, because sometimes that’s the deceased’s only way to reach you. Learn to speak their language and they’ll help you to interpret what they’re telling you.
Talk to Me Page 1