I have to say, it was nice sitting down and asking my girls what advice they would give to other kids who were dealing with having the gift in childhood. Our daughters are in a unique position, having Joe and me as parents, as well as having a voice to help others like them.
OUR TEEN MEDIUMS
AURORA, AGE SIXTEEN
Our oldest daughter, Aurora, is a cheerleader, and she does the entertainment news for her high school’s TV news station. She’s an overachiever, and we’re very proud of her. We’re just getting used to her driving, and she goes to college next year, so we’re trying to enjoy our time with her while she’s home. Aurora’s super-intelligent, like Joe. She’s stunning and sarcastic. I don’t know where she got the sarcasm from; Joe and I fight over taking credit for that quality!
Practise your abilities
‘Practising with my friend Amanda Campbell helps me to strengthen and improve my abilities, because if you don’t practise, your intuition gets dull. You don’t need a ouija board to connect with the other side—just paper and a pencil to write down the messages coming through. Sometimes it feels like you’re guessing, because it is occasionally too easy, or at least it seems so.’ Our daughter Fallon is in junior high, and she has a gorgeous voice. For her birthday, she wants an electric guitar to pair with her voice. She loves to bake, just like my grandma Jenee, and she’s a talented baker at that! Fallon is an electronics guru and digs movies and TV. She’s the kind of girl who doesn’t like pink, and she can hang out with boys just as easily as other girls. Fallon’s a lot of fun to be around, and she’s a hugger—a very loving kid.
Write down all the information you get
‘Make sure you’re in a quiet place, and writing down the name of the person who died helps me to connect. When a name, picture or song pops in your head, write it down so you don’t forget what came through in the reading. That way you have time to make sense of your information.
‘When I feel overwhelmed at night, if there’s activity around me, I like to roll myself up in a comfy blanket. It soothes me.
‘I remember being in art class, and we were supposed to make an animal out of paper. I couldn’t think of anything, and then a beaver popped into my head. Christmas rolled around and I gave it to my mum’s friend Laurie Campbell. She started crying and said that when her dad was dying he was hallucinating and he kept talking about seeing a beaver sitting by a pond, and it calmed him. She said my gift made her really happy, like it was her dad saying he was okay. I was drawn to give it to Laurie, and now I know it’s because her dad was telling me to. Cool!’ Sophia is our youngest daughter. She’s the baby, and she owns that title. She’s very active. She’s a competitive cheerleader and all-round jock. She loves f lag football, basketball—you name it! She was born on the Fourth of July, and is an all-American girl. Sophia’s a little comedian. She’s also very sensitive and fiercely loyal. People just love her.
Hold messages from the other side close
‘When bringing through family members (spirits), I’m not scared because they’re related to me, so maybe only stick to the people closest to you and your parents to bring through. Only share your information with family, not with classmates, because they don’t always understand and it can make it kind of weird to be around them later. If your parents don’t understand either, then write down what information you hear and see in your diary. It helps you to release the energy.’
TRUSTING YOUR FIRST INSTINCT
Joe and I have ‘family game night’ with the girls, and we see it as a valuable tool to teach them how to trust their first instinct. For example, we’ve played ‘Loaded Questions’ (a card game sold in toy stores). The point of the game is to know, by how the players answered a question, who it was that contributed each answer to your question. We were able to show the girls that whenever they second-guessed themselves, they lost points. When they trusted their gut instinct, they gained points. So we practised until they became comfortable with trusting their first instinct.
If you think about it, we have to be programmed to trust and rely on ourselves. You’d think that would come naturally, but we’ve become comfortable relying on another person’s opinion or insight, rather than our own. I guess it’s sort of a ‘grass is always greener’ scenario.
Trusting your first instinct does actually have to be self-taught because, unfortunately, as we get older, our head gets filled with alternative opinions, and critical thinking becomes our new method. Overanalysis seems to be second nature to all of us ‘type A’ personalities, as well as those who doubt themselves.
TEACHING KIDS ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE
Lily Dale is a town in New York that is constructed of Spiritualists—yes, you have to be a Spiritualist to live there—and every summer they open their doors to the public. In the summer of 2008, I agreed to give a children’s seminar there to help very young mediums to hone their skills. Joe and I decided to take our girls so they could really soak in the experience and play with kids like them.
We arrived in Lily Dale on a Tuesday morning, and it was pouring rain; I mean pouring. We pulled up in front of the Lyceum Hall where my event was being held. Joe and I were promptly met at our car by a sweet man who introduced himself as ‘Teddy’. He ushered us through the rain with a wonderful smile on his face, as if the day was sunny and bright. I entered the Lyceum and cast my gaze upon 50 shining young faces whose eyes struck me as nervous. Me, make people nervous? Never! (I’m kidding; I seem to have that effect on people.) I had capped the attendance at 50, so I could have personal time with the kids, where they each got my full attention.
I immediately placed the kids into five groups of ten, and arranged them in circles. They ranged in age from five to eighteen, both boys and girls. I stood before the kids and began to speak to them about my own experiences in childhood. I talked about naming my soft toys after the deceased friends and family members who lingered in my room. It’s important that kids with abilities have the feeling of security, such as having a physical object filling the area that is inhabited by spirits. If they don’t have to worry about turning around and being caught off-guard by an entity, then their nerves fare better.
I went on to describe getting bored in church when I was small, like most kids do. When a psychic gets bored sometimes, our minds wander and start ‘pulling impressions’ of those sitting near us. This story received chuckles from the kids as they looked at me with crooked smiles and eyes of mischief. I loved it! As I recounted my childhood to these kids, I realised that I grew up to be a teacher. Huh! That surprised and thrilled me all at the same time.
Many of the kids spoke of ‘shadowy figures’ that frighten them. I thought I should touch on this in my book, since it seems so common. When you see a shadowy figure up close or out of the corner of your eye, don’t assume it’s negative. Many shadowy figures appear as such because they don’t want to frighten their living loved ones. In other words, they fear scaring us by speaking to us or appearing as an apparition. They stay in the shadows, trying to be around us without interfering with our lives. So, please, if you see a shadowy figure, consider it might be someone who loves you, or a person in your family who didn’t know you in life but chooses to protect you in death.
So the class continued as I answered the kids’ questions and empathised with their confusion. I described to them what cancer feels like to me when I encounter a spirit who had it or a living person who presently does. I described what a heart attack feels like to a medium, so they could recognise it, too. I explained that if a name comes through in their mind, a first name will feel bold, and a middle name feels somewhat removed, less powerful, and that’s how they can determine the difference between a first name and a middle one.
After I was done answering questions, I had my assistant, Andrea, hand out notepads and pens to the kids, and I told them they were going to ‘read’ each other. Their little mouths formed perfect O’s and they seemed hesitant. I told them not to be afraid to be wrong.
I said, ‘The world is our classroom, we don’t have the luxury of years of formal schooling to be mediums.’ It’s thrust upon us, and that’s okay. But to misread a sign or communication from the other side is human error, and accuracy increases with practice. When you become a full-fledged medium, with practice and trial and error, you become very certain that what you’re receiving is factual, even if the client says it isn’t. You learn to hold on to the other side and stick with your information, and after a while the client realises you’re right. Sometimes readings can be overwhelming, and the client isn’t connecting the dots in their head. A medium’s information needs to settle in—it can take a few minutes or even months—and then the light bulb seems to go on in the client’s head. This moment is what I refer to as ‘a meeting of the mind and soul’.
Here’s a specific example of this from one of my events: I brought a man up on stage with me who was clearly missing his partner who had passed nineteen years prior, but the pain was very much still part of his fabric. During the reading, I delivered messages and gave him the information that I ‘saw’ connected to his partner. There were a couple of details that didn’t resonate with him, but I told him to just ‘bank it’ and think about it later. One of the details that I kept getting was the name ‘Carlos’, connected to the deceased, and ‘Mexico’. He really wasn’t sure what it meant. Two days later at another event, a woman who had attended the previous event said, ‘After the readings ended, I was talking to the gentleman who you read, and he told me he had forgotten that his partner’s middle name was “Carlos” and that he was born in Mexico.’
This is common. It happens all the time, really, because when people are being read, they are usually emotional and may not immediately ‘get’ the information they’re being given. I shared this snippet to encourage those of you who have abilities, so that you remember to stand by your information received in a reading. ‘Sitters’ need time to process the information, so don’t take it personally if they can’t confirm your information on the spot. Just move on and keep going forward with the reading.
Another common occurrence in a room full of people is having a reading ‘hijacked’. During one event, a woman wanted to hear from her mum, but the woman sitting next to her had also lost her mum and it was her mother who ended up hijacking the reading. The mother energy kept showing me what looked like a soda fountain with a long counter and young people sitting on stools. She then said she loved birds, and that they were symbolic of her and would visit her daughters often. This meant nothing to the first woman. The woman sitting next to her began to sob, so I asked if she was okay. She said she was, and then explained she had a photo of her mum sitting at a long counter in what looks like a soda fountain back in the day, and it was prominently displayed in her house. Also, her mum loved birds and she knew they were sent by her to show her family that she was still there. I brought through her dad, as well. He was a hoot. Needless to say, she and her sister loved the reading, and they were very happy.
For those who read groups of people, be careful, because it’s the strongest energy that will come through and be heard, so make sure you explain this to your group before you start.
And remember to not be stubborn, but if you know in your gut your information is true and correct, stand by it with respect for your sitter, and move on to the next part of the reading.
LIFE EXPERIENCE MATTERS
It’s important for gifted kids to know that the more life experience they have, the bigger the pool of reference they have to work with in readings. For instance, my friend Laurie Campbell, who’s a phenomenal medium, grew up in a family-owned hair salon, so when she does readings she can get whether or not the deceased had permed hair, dyed hair, what the texture was, etc. I grew up in a family where food was very important to show affection, and time was invested in making unforgettable meals. When I do a reading, I have a knack of describing the food the deceased cooked or the food they enjoyed eating. We know that often the living ‘love’ through food (some of us are called ‘feeders’ or ‘foodies’), and our kids and grandkids feel special when we make them a favourite treat. So you can understand why, in a reading, family dishes are often acknowledged.
The kids at the Lily Dale seminar seemed to understand this. I told them to see the world and read a lot, and that’ll give them a great database for the deceased to access.
As the kids raised their pens to do as I instructed (which was ‘write the impressions that you pull off someone in your group’), I felt a sense of pride. I was proud of them, and I felt like any mother hearing her child say their first word. As I moved from group to group, I saw most children thrive, and a few retreat. Some of the kids received verified names connected to their peers, and some decided to retreat into a world that would remain most likely unknown to others. I saw this as no different to grown mediums who I’ve encountered in my life. (I mean no disrespect by that observation.)
Some personalities are fighters, and they approach challenges with competitive spirits and open minds. Other personalities are ‘meek’ energy that shy away from conf lict and challenges, because it’s not in their makeup to take a chance and possibly fail. That’s okay, because time has a way of toughening us up so we can rise to the occasion when it’s our calling. And sometimes energy is soft, and not meant for challenges. All energies have some purpose.
It was dazzling seeing the kids who had strong abilities rise to the occasion, and you could see it click in their head when they were told they were right about the information they delivered in their reading. That was followed by a big grin and an occasional high-five.
My family really enjoyed our time with all of the children. They were special sparks of light. I hope the tools that I gave them will help them to strengthen their instincts and connect with the other side.
Life is about timing, courage and heart that will elevate your soul to understand exactly what your calling might be. Recognising a calling is something that many never figure out, because they look too hard.
For example, a person might own a bakery for 40 years and feel that they made no difference in the world, but if they pull back and take a broader look, they will see their life for what it really was. They had a store that children rushed to after school for a cookie, and it raised their spirits. It gave them something to look forward to, and years later to tell their own children about.
The baker also made wedding cakes and 50th anniversary cakes that celebrated the wonder of life we all know as love. When somebody died, a mourner would pass the store and pick up a peach pie for the wake that reminded the widow of how much her husband loved her pies, and it made her smile. The baker was a constant reminder of life needing to be celebrated, and he was indeed adored by many people. If he’s a wise man he will recognise this, and if he looked too closely and didn’t realise it in life, then he will learn it after his passing. Either way, he touched those drawn to him and his family.
Look at your life, take a step back and see what a miracle you can be to others. It’s never too late to be someone’s miracle. So don’t give up.
You have to strive for excellence in whatever you do in life, otherwise you settle for mediocrity. Some people say, ‘I f lip burgers. Why should I work to be excellent at that?’ Well, because it won’t take long for you to be elevated to something better, because a positive attitude is—unfortunately—more rare. I know people who worked at theme parks and were singled out to be personal assistants, then elevated to managers, and ultimately became producers in television. So never question that people are watching you; often they’re the people whom you want to attract. A sense of humour, a great attitude and not being a complainer will get you far. Oh yeah, and don’t forget, faith in yourself.
PSYCHIC KIDS
I was asked to be on a talk show to act as an expert on children with abilities. I guess I qualify: I have three little girls with gifts, and I was a little girl at one time aeons ago.
I was a little nervous, since
I had never been on a show sharing the stage with kids before, and I wasn’t sure of what to expect. The show was high energy, and that included the dance music during commercial breaks with a bass that practically bounced me out of my chair. The kids on the show loved it, though, and they were out of their chairs dancing and singing, really soaking in the moment.
I observed the kids, and listened to their stories about how other children’s cruelty had left an impression on them that they’d carry for life. I told them the next time someone accused them of being ‘the devil’, tell them that if they really believed you were the devil, they wouldn’t dare say so, because you could pop their head in half. We all laughed, knowing how absurd a statement it is to say we are somehow the anti-Christ. We spend our lives helping people, not something a bad person would do with their abilities.
Anyway, the kids seemed relieved and refreshed to be standing with an older version of themselves. I noted how lucky they are to have each other to turn to, since I had a different generation to quarrel with. I was ecstatic to be present in a time where spirituality had become so universal and commonplace.
I gave them each a notepad and a pencil. I selected a few people out of the audience and asked the kids to write the impressions they got connected to, for whomever they felt drawn to. Most of the girls were too distracted to write or were just blank.
There were several girls present with various abilities; however, a few were able to ‘automatic write’ like I do. It’s not for everybody, and it doesn’t mean you have no abilities if you can’t do it. It helps me in sorting and holding onto the impressions that come through to me. One of the little girls’ letters and numbers were just like the ones I write; she traced over each letter many times, making it large and profound-looking. She had written ‘mum’ and ‘3’, so I told her there were a couple of ways to interpret the information.
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