by Nhys Glover
He nodded. “You are a constant source of amazement to me. You dress as a boy and a slave, without a moment’s hesitation. You consort with men meant for the arenas and call them friends. And now I find out you are trained as a healer. Is there anything else you have left out?”
I tried not to think about the kisses I had shared with Typhon and Asterius. Marcus did not need to know about those.
“No, that is about it, I think.”
He nodded, still eyeing me as if I was some exotic bird he had never before seen.
The sound of running footsteps had me glancing up. Marcus’ men were hastily stepping in to block the approach of a tall, muscular man. My heart lifted and danced madly in my chest at the sight of him.
Asterius!
“Asterius!” Marcus echoed my thought in the next instant. “Stand down!” he ordered his men.
Reluctantly they did so, but kept their eyes glued to the sword and dagger at Asterius’ belt.
“Are you hurt? Gods! I thought I’d beaten them here. The five I saw following you. But I mustn’t have!” Asterius cried, moving forward to grab me by the shoulders, his eyes wild.
“It is not mine. I tried to save an injured slave,” I said quickly, to relieve his concerns.
He immediately deflated a little. But not completely. He turned to Marcus and nodded his greeting tersely. “There are five of Camellia’s men making their way here now. I was lucky enough to spot you before they did. We’ve all been searching the crowds for you for a while. I have to get Ac... Ennia Corva away. Her father gave the order. Do you need to see it?”
Marcus shook his head. “No, of course not. Take her. We can hold them off.”
Asterius looked back over his shoulder and stiffened, as if seeing something he did not like. “They’ve got the end of this dock blocked off.”
He looked around at the nearby ships. One was making ready to leave. The ropes mooring it to the dock were being untied. “There! Marcus, can you tell the captain we are your slaves and need to take ship with him. Dressed as a slave, Ennia Corva cannot travel without permission. I’ve got travel documents for her, but no one is going to believe she’s a woman, no less a patrician, in her current state.”
Marcus nodded his understanding and jumped down onto the deck of the small sailing ship. Asterius helped me down into the vessel too, while the sailors stared daggers at us.
I heard Marcus arguing, then saw him produce his pouch. He handed over what looked to be a fist of golden aureii. I had not realized he carried that sort of money with him.
Marcus strode quickly back to us, a grim smile on his lips. “You are headed for Caralis in Sardinia, three and a half days away. It cost me ten aureii for the trip. It should have been no more than eight. But the man knows we are in a fix and that you will need to be fed, as you have brought no food with you for the journey. It was only good business to offer you food at an inflated rate. Watch him, though. I’ve flaunted my name, but it might not count for much once he gets you out to sea.”
“No one is going to try anything with me,” Asterius said firmly. His confidence was a relief. I had felt so adrift waiting for something dire to happen. Now Asterius was here to take care of everything. And he could. That was what he was raised to do. I trusted him implicitly.
Marcus bent low and kissed my cheek. “Be safe, my friend. I will see you again soon.”
“Do not take those men on, Marcus. There are five of them and only three of you. You might get hurt. Or worse,” I pleaded, watching the ship inching away from the dock as the rowboats began their task of getting us into deeper water and in a position to pick up the wind.
Marcus grinned. “It will be good to get some real practise. I am sick of fighting with blunted blades. Do not worry about me, I am quite good, as I said. Likely much better than hired thugs, and I have two of your Pater’s men, remember. We could take on far more than five men and win!”
His bravado had an edge to it that I did not want to think too hard about. He was a man at seventeen—just as I was a woman—and he had the body of a man. But he had the face of a youth and the experience of one, too. He was no seasoned fighter.
Marcus jumped lithely ashore and gave us a cocky wave. While the distance between the dock and the ship grew wider, I watched my friend and his two bodyguards making their way towards my enemies. I shuddered and turned away.
Asterius was staring at me fiercely. I had never seen that look on his face before.
“What?”
He glanced away to watch the row boats dragging on the much bigger ship. I thought he was not going to answer me. When he did his voice was croaky. “I thought I hadn’t reached you in time. When I saw the blood, I thought I hadn’t reached you in time. I’ve lived in terror for more than a week thinking I wouldn’t get here soon enough to save you. No, since Tallia came down to tell us what had happened to you. It’s just... just hard to believe I’ve succeeded. After everything... I’ve saved you.”
I smiled at him and reached up to gently cup his bristly cheek in my palm. There had to be at least a week’s growth of beard there. I had never seen him look so unkempt. “I want to hear it all. When I discovered Camellia had changed my itinerary so my missives were missing Pater every step of the way, I felt sure all was lost. I could not believe any of you would be able to find him.”
My beloved gladiator grimaced and gently drew my hand away from his face, his eyes indicating we had an audience.
We hurried over to the spot where passengers usually sat on ships like this one. I had noticed this during my days of walking the docks with Marcus. Hunkered down onto the bare deck, I noted there were no other passengers. I assumed few people would journey to such a sparsely settled island. Had we been going on to the coast of Hispania it might have been a different matter.
Though the sailors gawked at me and my bloodstained tunic as I huddled in next to Asterius, they made no move to approach us. Instead, their whole focus was on getting their ship into open waters.
When the sails were raised and the wind began angrily pummelling them, I felt a little thrill of excitement and pleasure rise up inside me. I was finally free of the threat that had dogged my path for what felt like forever, and I was starting the adventure of a lifetime with a man I loved.
I had never been to sea before. I had never been anywhere before Camellia had forced me to leave my home. Now I had seen the walls of Rome, the town of Ostia and, in this moment, I was setting sail for Sardinia. My world had broadened markedly in a short time.
I looked at Asterius to gauge his reaction to the journey. He appeared at ease, as if this was nothing new for him. If he was the one who found Pater, then he would have had to sail across the Mare Adriaticus to reach him. And then come back. This would be his third sea voyage. Of course, he would be at ease.
“Tell me of your adventures. It has not been overly long. Not quite a month. I expected it to take much longer before Pater could take action.”
“It took nearly two solid weeks to get to where I was to be left. A little place called Brigetio, which was about a day’s run from Aquincum, where I expected your father to be in a few days’ time. So I dawdled retracing my steps to Aquincum, expecting to have it easy while I waited for him to arrive. You can imagine my shock when I heard a contest had taken place between a veteran gladiator and one of the captives a few days before, and that the owner of the gladiator had left just after the match, heading west along the lime.
“I realised your father had likely passed Brigetio not long before I was dropped there. I went mad with frustration for a while.”
I rubbed my head against his shoulder. “I am so sorry. It was my fault you went the wrong way. If only I had realised the significance of the changes made to the itinerary. But I just thought Pater had made some last-minute adjustments. He does that sometimes.”
“You weren’t to know. But I thought I’d got it wrong. You wouldn’t want to have heard the names I called myself. Not fit for even the ear
s of a slave boy physician.”
I laughed, happy for the first time in so long.
“Then what happened?” I asked, enjoying the telling of this tale. Asterius was good at storytelling. I knew that from our fireside gatherings. He could make a boring event into something fit for the stage.
“Ah, well, then I had to work out how to reach your father fast. I decided running was my best option. But if I was going to run through the night to make up the distance I would need protection from night predators. So I found a tavern and a drunken man with a sword, and I bet him I could make silver grow by magic. Do you remember that trick we showed you some years back?”
I nodded, remembering a few different times they had tried out their coin tricks on me, and then laughed at how gullible I was. At the time it had amazed me how fast they could move their hands so that a watcher did not even see the sleight take place. They had tried to teach the tricks to me, but I did not have the patience for it, nor the dexterity. It was enough for me to be able to handle a scalpel and needle. Beyond that... no.
“So I lifted four silver denarii from his pouch and then bet him I could turn one of them into two. I did, of course, and neither he nor the bystanders saw how I did it. A gullible lot. Made more so by the grog they’d drunk. I did it a second time, turning two into four, just so my target had a chance to see the trick. He didn’t, and so he had no option but to give me his sword and scabbard. I kept the coins too, to buy supplies for my run.”
I shook my head in amazement. My Pater had trained these men to live off the land and do whatever it took to get home. They could steal and kill, if necessary. Nothing was forbidden, although if they were caught they would face cruel punishment for their crimes. But instead of taking the violent approach, Asterius had done what came naturally to him. He’d tricked someone out of his valuables. And only enough to get him what he needed.
I liked that about this soon-to-be gladiator. I liked that he could have enticed the drunk behind a building and slit his throat and taken everything he had. Instead, he’d chosen to take more time and done it the harder, non-violent way.
“I then ran day and night until I reached him. After that it was easy. I got documents to travel using the imperial relay, permission to travel as his slave, documents explaining my actions, and documents indicating your name and status. I’m to keep you away from Camellia until your father is able to get back and deal with the woman himself. I imagine he’ll be at least a week or two behind me. I wouldn’t like to see what he does to her. Though she deserves everything she gets.”
“How did he take finding out his new wife had betrayed him?” I asked, still a little in shock to know how fiercely Pater had come down on my side in this.
“As you would expect, his first reaction was to deny what I said and to question how I knew what I did. I ended up having to explain how you knew us from visiting our fireside. I played it down, saying you visited occasionally out of curiosity and then turned to us when you felt threatened. He accepted there was no more to it than that. I must admit, it surprised me how easily he assigned your safety to me.”
I nodded, a little bemused by that myself. But then, Pater did not know how close we actually were and how physical desire had begun to replace mere childhood friendship. He would believe the men he had trained to uphold Roman values would remain true to them when dealing with his daughter, an innocent noblewoman.
Was he foolish to put so much faith in our sense of duty? It made me nervous to think about spending so much time alone with Asterius. Had it been Orion, I know his sense of duty and honour would have kept him in line. But Asterius was more casual about such things. I had heard many stories of him flouting rules by using his casual charm.
Would he do the same with me? Would he use his charm to seduce me while we were away? I had been so happy to see him, felt so safe to be in his protection, but now I had to wonder if I might have jumped out of the frying pan into the fire by going with Asterius.
Not that he would rape me. I did not fear violence from him. More that he might use my attraction to him to overcome my good sense. I did not know if I was strong enough to withstand him.
“What?” he asked.
Were my fears written on my face? I tried to relax it and remember what we had been talking about. Oh, yes, he was telling me how Pater had accepted my visits to the Wolf Pack and given me over into Asterius’ safekeeping.
I looked at him and wondered if I should tell him the truth. I was not good at hiding things. It had killed me to keep my identity from my pack five years ago. And they had always suspected I was not being honest with them. They just did not realise how dishonest I had been. I could not be dishonest again. I needed Asterius to understand my fears.
“Am I safe with you? And I do not mean I doubt your ability to protect me. But who will protect me from you? No... that is not right. Who will protect me from myself where you are concerned?”
“I would never hurt you, Accalia. You have to know that,” he said stiffly, not understanding. I knew it would be this way.
“You said it yourself. All you know is fighting and fucking. Look what happened that first night by the fire this spring. You kissed me and... and I felt things I should not feel for you. Had I stayed longer I do not know what would have happened. And so I ran away. But how will I run away now? Until Pater tells us it is safe to come home, you are all I have. I cannot run away from you.”
He glared at me. “I’m not an animal. I won’t fall on you the first moment we’re alone. Give me some credit. I may not have Orion’s sense of duty, but I know what’s right and what’s wrong. I might love and desire you, but I won’t try to seduce you. I won’t disrespect you like that. You can feel safe with me!”
I looked into his troubled brown eyes, which always reminded me of pebbles in a stream. Liquid and bright. The lashes surrounding them only highlighted their rich beauty.
“Just remember that I will hate you forever if you use my body against me.” I met his gaze, making sure he understood me fully. There could be no room for misunderstanding. I needed him to protect me from myself.
“I understand,” he growled out, as if he hated me.
Turning away, I tried to calm my racing heart. It was cruel of me to speak that way to someone who had just saved me from Camellia. Who had run day and night to get to Pater. Who might have put his life and his chance to join a gladiator ludus in Rome at stake for me.
I looked back, tears pricking my eyelids. “I am sorry, Asterius. I should not have said that. I am so very grateful for all you have done for me. I do not mean to insult you. It is just that I need you to be the strong one, because I do not think I can be.”
Asterius laughed humourlessly. “I am known for my physical strength, but not for my strength to resist temptation. I’ve never had to. Except with you. But I’ll do my best. I couldn’t stand it if you hated me.”
I leaned in to his shoulder and rested my head there. “I do not want to hate you either. I love you too much.”
Chapter Twelve
ASTERIUS
Her words rang in my ears like a death knell. She would hate me forever if I seduced her. She needed me to be the strong one and keep my distance.
But how was I to do that when she was so close? When her lithe body pressed in against me, and her head, with its soft fragrant hair, rested on my shoulder. I was only a man. And not a strong one in areas like this.
Yet having her hate me was incentive enough to keep my desires in check. Especially as there was no way I could meet them during the three-and-a-half day voyage.
And so began the most torturous pleasure of my life. I had Accalia totally to myself. I had her body pressed to mine. I got to hear her soft breathing as she slept next to me on the hard deck and share her soul during the long hours as we watched the turquoise waters skipping by.
I’d thought I knew Accalia before we started this journey, but I’d barely touched the surface of her. And her me. There were thing
s we shared in those long hours that we could never have shared with the other pack-mates present. She even talked about her budding desires she had no idea how to deal with. While I shared that I doubted I could stay faithful to one woman and would therefore never marry.
“I think you do yourself a disservice,” she said as we talked softly on the late afternoon of the final day of our journey.
I was relaxed and weary from lack of activity, and I had stopped being on constant guard against possible attack. The sailors had determined I was not someone easily taken down. Or maybe being the property of a powerful equestrian was what kept them at bay. It didn’t matter. All that concerned me was that I could let my defences down a little and just laze away my time.
“In what way?” I asked, rolling a coin across the back of my fingers.
The Master had given me a bag of gold to get me home and assure his daughter’s safety. I kept that wealth well hidden, only carrying coppers and silvers in the pouch on my belt. The rest I carried in a pouch attached to a strip of leather dangling from my neck, which fell below my chest muscles to where my tunic puckered above my belt.
“You say you could not be faithful to a wife. I think you could be if you loved her. I think the idea of hurting her would keep you from doing ... well, you know... with someone other than her.”
“But what if I love more than one woman?” I asked, playing along, teasing her a little for the fun of it.
“Is that possible?” she asked in confusion.
I shrugged. “I might come to love someone other than you, but still love you.”
She scowled. “That is not the same kind of love. The five of us... we have something that is not like lovers share. Although I will admit it is more than just friendship. And it is not like the love shared between brothers and sisters. That is more like what I feel for Marcus.”
I looked at her sadly. “It’s the same kind of love as lovers feel. It just can’t be expressed that way. I might go to Rome and never see you again, but I know on some deep level that I’ll never stop loving you. I think maybe that’s the reason I’ll never take a wife. Because she would never have all of my heart.”