Within a split second Noah was beside me, asking if I was all right with an edgy voice. Even Sam was walking with purpose from the other side of the net. The girls had gathered around me, and as if I didn’t feel idiotic enough, the boy who’d spiked the ball was there in front of me, pleading for my forgiveness.
I would’ve spoken right away, but when I tried, the air wouldn’t come and within seconds Sam was with me, holding my arms over my head and patting my back. Finally, with his help, I caught my breath and took a big gulp of air.
The intense worry on Noah’s features hadn’t escaped my notice. Luckily for him, everyone was looking at me as if I was on exhibit in a freak show, and not paying attention to him at all.
“I’m…fine…really… Just lost my…breath for a…minute,” I stammered, breathing slowly in and out of my mouth.
“I didn’t mean to hit you. I’m so, so sorry,” the dark-haired boy repeated.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. My words came out easier and I could fill my lungs up fully again.
He continued to hover over me until Noah pulled him back and ordered him with a tight voice, “Give her some space, Timmy. She doesn’t need you in her face.” Then he said to me, “Are you really okay, Rose?”
My eyes locked on his and my heart slowed. Time seemed to have stopped altogether and for a brief instant Noah and I were completely alone. His dark eyes stared into mine and I knew right then that he really did have feelings for me. The realization shocked me and a cool sweat prickled along the skin of my neck and arms.
Maybe we had a chance…
The trance was broken by Sarah’s dove coo of a voice beside my ear and her hand going around my waist. “Come on, Rose. You come into the house with me for a while to rest.”
I looked into her kind eyes and mumbled, “Yeah, that would be good. Thank you.”
As we walked up the gentle slope leading to the house, I stared at the grass, not looking back toward the other kids…or Noah. My mind was swimming with uncertainty and my legs were still wobbly, but Sarah’s strong arm gripped me tightly as we walked, giving a sense of realness to the moment.
She shuffled me in the side door and up the stairs quickly, which I was grateful for. I could hear the buzzing sound of women’s voices coming from the kitchen, and I was all too happy to avoid their questions and concern. Again, I took notice that Sarah was a quick-thinking kind of girl. And even though we were as different as night and day on the outside, there was still a strange kind of connection we shared that made me feel as if I’d known her forever.
She guided me around a corner and into a dusty-pink-hued room with maroon curtains. Lightly she pushed me onto one of the two twin beds in the room and muttered something about a glass of water and then she went back through the doorway with a swish of her dress.
The trek from the nets to her bedroom was hazy to me, but now that I was sitting on the bedspread, the sharp smell of roses hit my nostrils, fully rousing me. I looked around for the source and immediately located a vase with white flowers on the dresser by the window.
Sarah must share the picture-perfect room with Rachel, I thought, noticing that although the bed on the opposite wall had the same blanket on it, it was mostly covered up by a quilt that sported royal-blue-and-white designs. There were also wooden letters above the other bed spelling out Rachel’s name.
The room was amazingly clean and free of stuff for two teenage girls to be sharing, and for an instant I wished that my room was so organized. Then I reconsidered. My posters, photos, trophies, clothes and shoes scattered about my own sleeping space made it my room. I wouldn’t want all those things hidden away—I wanted to see them each and every day.
Either Sarah and Rachel had no interests, or they weren’t allowed to display them. But as Sarah stepped back into the room and softly closed the door behind her, I decided that it didn’t even matter that she was a neat freak and I was a slob—we were still going to be close friends.
Handing me a glass filled with water, she sat down on the bed beside me and began rubbing my back.
I said, “Thanks,” closing my eyes and enjoying the peaceful moment.
“That ball hit you pretty hard, Rose. Are you sure you’re all right?” Sarah asked kindly.
I opened my eyes and met her brown ones. “I’m fine, really.” I paused and said, “I feel kind of stupid causing such a ruckus, though.”
Sarah shook her head and smoothed out the crinkles in her dress, saying, “Oh, don’t feel like that. It’s not your fault that some of the boys have such rotten aim.”
The corners of her mouth twitched, and a second later she began laughing wholeheartedly, giving me a slap on the back that surprised me. At first, the big snort and barking laughter had me staring at her, but her mirth was contagious, and all too quickly I was laughing right along with her.
When we finally calmed and she was patting the wetness from her eyes with her sleeve, I took a breath and asked her, “Do you like any of the boys, Sarah?”
Her eyes widened, followed by a quick shake of her head, which slowed and then a blush darkened her cheeks. “Well, maybe one, but I don’t think that he knows I exist.”
She was a pretty girl, with the same wide-spaced eyes and full lips that her brother had, but the sprinkling of freckles over her nose made her look girlish, even younger than me. Her deep blush and downcast eyes showed how shy she was when it came to the boys, and I figured that was probably the reason that her crush was ignoring her.
I couldn’t help reaching over and squeezing her knee when I said, “I bet he’s noticed you. You’re too pretty for him not to have. He’s probably just afraid to approach you since you aren’t very outgoing. Maybe if you start flirting a little bit, he’ll be more confident.”
Her eyes went as round as her mouth for an instant before she said, “Do you really think that he’s afraid to ask me to court?”
Feeling a twinge of worry stir my insides, I swallowed and hoped that I was guessing right. After all, I didn’t know a thing about this boy—he might have his sights on another girl altogether. But seeing the bright hopefulness suddenly light up Sarah’s face, I decided that I couldn’t be wrong. The best thing in the world for my new friend would be for her to gain some of her own self-confidence. She spent too much time with her eyes down and her shoulders slumped.
“Yeah, I think a lot of guys are as afraid of us as we are of them. The only way they begin to open up is when they know for sure that the girl they like is into them, too.”
As I talked to her, I thought about how quickly things had progressed between me and Noah. I had no doubt that he liked me now, and the knowledge made me want to jump up and squeal, but at the same time I had the urge to cover my head with Sarah’s pillow and cry. Why did I have to be falling for a guy that I could never have?
“But what can I do to let him know that I like him without being…well, you know, too forward.” Sarah leaned in closer, speaking in a whisper even though the door was solidly shut.
I tried to keep the smile from spreading my lips. She was very serious and I didn’t want her to think that I was mocking her, but the thought that this girl sitting next to me had no idea how to flirt was amazing.
Remembering back to all the guy tips that I received from my friends Amanda and Britney when I was younger, I said, “Eye contact. The best way to let him know that you like him is to keep your eyes locked on his for a couple of seconds the next time he looks your way.”
Of course, I wasn’t totally sure that it would work with an Amish guy, but I didn’t think that it would hurt anything either.
Hesitantly, she asked, “Is it really true that you don’t have a special boy in your life, Rose?”
The question startled me until I saw that her face lacked the look of knowing—thank God.
Shaking my head, I lied, “Nope, not a one.”
Even lower, she said, “Do you miss your old home and your friends there?”
I glanced away toward the window,
thinking. I’d been too busy pining over her brother to miss anyone, but I certainly couldn’t tell her that.
“Oh, I’m okay so far. I’ve got Dad and my brothers…and now I have you.”
Sarah’s eyes were misty when they glanced up quickly and looked away, saying, “I could never leave my community. It would be awful.” Then her eyes met mine and stayed locked. “And I’m so sorry about your mother. I don’t know how I’d cope if I ever lost mine.”
I had no words and the tears were threatening to spill. It was obvious that Sarah was as emotional as I was, and the last thing I needed was a giant cryfest—lucky for me that’s when Sam’s voice boomed out from down the stairs.
“Hey, Rose, are you up there?”
I quickly bounced off the bed, hating the sound of my brother yelling for me in front of everyone like a barbarian.
Pulling the door open, I said, “I’ll be right out!
“Thanks for taking care of me, Sarah. That’s another one I owe you for.”
She looked at me with raised brows. “I don’t understand—”
I interrupted her with a quick hug. “I’m just happy that you’ve taken me under your wing, that’s all.”
Before she could say another word, I was out of the room and jogging down the stairs.
“We need to get going, Rose. We’ve got to be up early tomorrow, and you’re so hard to wake, even on the weekends.” Sam wasn’t teasing. That was the truth.
We managed to exit the house with only a few nods and waves to the ladies peering around the corner at us and again I was extremely grateful for the side door.
Once outside in the faded dusky light, depression began to descend over me. It was sinking in that I wouldn’t see Noah for an entire week. And even though a part of me rationalized that it might be for the best, the bigger part was silently mourning the fact.
Sam called out to Justin, who was near the barn with the rowdy boy group playing with, of all things, a pellet gun. The boys were target shooting some cans on the white board fence, with not an adult in sight to supervise them. Momentarily tearing myself away from my self-induced moodiness, I decided that I’d have a discussion with Dad about it—or at the very least, threaten Justin with death if he ever did it again.
I didn’t feel like getting into it with my kid brother when he joined us at the corner of the barn, though. For a change, I wasn’t in the mood for battle.
As we passed the last building and came into the open field, the sound of the birds calling to each other while they settled in for the night filled the air, along with the soft swooshing sound of the tall grass bending in the breeze. On the horizon, the sun was about to disappear, and I watched in fascination as the sky to the west blazed with the reds and pinks of the sunset.
What a wondrous evening it could have been, I thought to myself, if Noah and I’d been allowed to hang out and watch the sun go down together. As I trailed along behind my brothers, picking the seed heads off the top of the blades and rubbing them between my fingers, I began to review in my head every glance, smile and facial expression Noah had directed at me. Especially his dramatic display when my chest had stopped the ball. I’d probably have an enormous bruise. I absently rubbed the place the ball had smashed, thinking it was well worth it to have Noah’s full attention in that moment.
“You have an admirer, Rose,” Sam said in a slightly testy way.
I narrowed my eyes and demanded, “Who?”
Justin came to full attention and was waiting expectantly beside me when Sam finally responded with tight lips, “Noah asked for my permission to call you sometime. It was so old-fashioned, just like that dude in the Little Women movie…and he became quite distressed when he heard that you’d be in Cincinnati for a whole week.” He stressed the word whole way more than necessary.
It took a long second for the information to sink in. Holding my breath, I begged, “What did you tell him?”
He looked at me sheepishly and said, “I gave him your cell number. You’ll have to be gentle letting the guy down, but I think it’s better to do it sooner than later.” Then with a more serious look he asked, “You okay with that?”
My head was spinning. Noah might actually call me on the phone like a normal guy? I could hardly contain the bubbles from multiplying in my belly. I gave Sam my most brilliant smile before saying, “It’s perfectly okay with me.”
Sam must have understood the excitement that I was sure was shining on my face when he said, his words thick with agitation, “You’ve got be kidding me, Rose. I mean, I like the guy all right, but he’s Amish, for God’s sake! How would that ever work out?”
Weakly, I suggested, “Maybe he’ll change someday.”
“Oh, brother—don’t hold your breath on that one. He’s really close to his family, and if he did change he’d risk his relationship with all his relatives and friends. I really doubt he’ll be willing to do that just for a pretty girl,” Sam said, his voice leaning toward sympathy, but the words still stung me. It was as if there were little needles pricking at my heart.
I hardly knew Noah, and yet he had become such an important part of my life. And astonishingly, it seemed he felt the same way about me. Sam could be all doom and gloom if he wanted—it didn’t matter to me. Noah liked me for real, and that’s all my mind was filled with as I walked beside Justin with a springy step and a fluttering heart toward our new home.
8
Noah
Easy Choice
THIS WAS THE third trip I’d made down the ladder and back up again for something I’d forgotten. This time it was the box of roofing nails, last time it was my hammer and before that, my work belt. What was wrong with my brain today?
I had a pretty good sense what was going on—my lovely neighbor was driving me nuts. Rose was a constant visitor in my mind, distracting me to the point of obsession. It was unhealthy, and I wondered if Jacob had it this bad over Katie. He certainly didn’t seem to—at least I hadn’t noticed him making extra trips up the ladder since he started courting her.
But maybe that was the problem with me. I wasn’t really courting Rose. I sure wanted to be, though. All day I’d been thinking about how to make it happen, with no sudden ideas or schemes appearing in my worn-out mind. And then, other thoughts had been trickling into my head as well, like: How did she feel from the volleyball hit? What did she think about the youth service? Did she like the Amish girls? What was she doing right then…and with whom?
That last question got to me the most. If Rose were Amish, it wouldn’t be a question at all. She’d be strictly disciplined in what she could do and diligently watched over by the entire community. But instead, she was off dancing in some big city and probably staying out late with her friends. That image caused my breath to come harder and my blood to simmer. I felt so possessive of her, and no matter how my brain tried to rationalize that I shouldn’t feel such emotions for an English girl I hardly knew, I couldn’t rein them in.
I sighed heavily, gazing out over the gently rolling hay fields in the direction of my farm, just a half mile away. Katie’s family was throwing a twentieth-birthday party for Jacob that evening, and most of the community had been invited. Father and Jacob had already left the work site for home a while back, leaving me alone with my worries. I was in no hurry to go to the big event and had offered to stay behind to finish up the corner of the roof. An easy choice; I liked working without my family’s prying eyes, especially with all the mistakes I’d been making.
Nailing the last shingle on, I gathered my tools and climbed down the ladder. Hopefully, for the last time today.
Mr. Denton drove me home in relative silence, except for the softly playing Johnny Cash song. He was a nice old guy, always telling me the names of the singers or bands playing, as if the information would benefit me in some way I hadn’t figured out yet.
Reaching the house, I jumped out, waved goodbye and made my way to the back door. I walked slowly, with no energy to my steps. The knowledge that tod
ay was only Monday and I wouldn’t see Rose until the weekend, and then only if I was lucky, irked me. And having to go to the Weavers’ and pretend to not have a care in the world would be near impossible. But I’d have to put on a show or suspicions would be roused. I certainly didn’t need that.
After kicking off my work boots in the mudroom just as unenthusiastically as I’d walked across the yard, I entered the kitchen to the frightening scene of Mother and Father both sitting at the table, dressed to go to the party but obviously not in a hurry to get there.
Before they said a thing, unease swept through my body and I strained to listen for other voices in the house—nothing. Now I was even more disturbed. The house being utterly silent was the worst sign of all.
“So how was your workday, son?” Father spoke in Dutch, asking in a friendly manner, keeping the real reason they were sitting alone at the table, waiting for me, hidden at the moment.
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