“Hello?”
“Hey there, sweetheart.” His voice sounded strong, with a hint of amusement.
“Are you home?” I squealed.
“Yep, I just pulled into the driveway. Mother wanted to settle me in on the couch immediately, but I insisted on calling you first,” he informed me.
“How are you feeling today?” I was still plagued with worry about his injuries. Now that he was home, I was sure he’d overdo it, wearing himself out.
“Pretty good. I didn’t take any of the pain meds last night—they make me so loopy. So today I’m feeling the soreness more, but at least my head is clear.”
“Are you using the crutches?”
“Yeah, walking on them bothers my ribs a bit. Still, I’m able to get around by myself, which is worth the pain.”
“I’m so sorry, Noah,” I told him quietly, still feeling tremendously guilty that all his pain was directly due to my irrational behavior leaving the dumb party.
“Don’t you start crying again, Rose, do you hear me?” he said forcefully.
“Yes, I’m fine. No more crying, I promise.” I hoped I could keep it.
“When are you and your family coming over?” he asked.
“Pretty soon, and guess what?”
“What?” He sounded worried all of a sudden, and I had to smile at that.
With extra drama I said, “She’s coming with us.”
“Who?” More confusion permeated the word.
“You know—Dad’s girlfriend,” I muttered fiercely, thinking some of the painkillers must still be affecting his mind.
“Oh, her. Well, perhaps she’ll keep your father’s attention off you becoming Amish,” he volunteered in an even tone, echoing my thoughts exactly.
“That would be a miracle, Noah. Really, I think he’ll flip out when he hears,” I said, nibbling on my pinkie nail.
There was a few seconds of silence before he said softly, “Don’t worry, Rose, I’ll be with you—and my parents are fully supporting us now. So you’re not alone in this.”
“I know.”
“Listen, my mother is striding toward the shed right now to take on her job as nursemaid. I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Okay. See you soon, Noah.”
“Rose?”
“Yes?”
“I love you, sweetheart,” he said soothingly, almost making me forget what we were up against.
“I love you, too.” I ended the call staring at my hideous wallpaper for a few minutes, totally wrapped up in an enormous amount of worry. Worry about how my dad would react to the news, worry about becoming Amish, worry that if the whole thing fell through I’d be heading off to a new school in a few days, and I definitely was in no shape for that kind of mental challenge. The queasy feeling spread through me, and I willed myself not to throw up as I smothered my head in the pillow.
The knock at the door, and Dad’s voice saying it was time to go, pulled me back together somewhat. I stood and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror before leaving the room.
And I had to admit, I looked about as sick as I felt.
* * *
Sitting around the Millers’ table was as awkward now as it was the last time. I already gave Dad’s girlfriend the heads-up on the drive over about the whole Amish tradition of the men getting their food first. She seemed curiously excited about the idea, as if it was a fun adventure for her.
So now I found myself sitting between Sarah and Her and directly across from Noah again. Although, this meal was extremely different than the last, in that Noah hardly took his eyes off me at all. I was surprised he didn’t miss his mouth with the fork the way his penetrating gaze never abandoned me. I was slightly bewildered. He didn’t seem to be worried about what his parents thought anymore.
Trying to be the good, future Amish girl, I worked hard not to stare much at him. But it was difficult. The glistening colors around his eyes had actually spread out farther on his face, creating an incredibly fascinating montage of blacks, blues, purples and, around the very edge, pinks. I found my eyes drawn to his unnatural skin tones in morbid curiosity. Besides my sick obsession with his bruises, when my eyes would meet his, the fluttering in my stomach would start up, along with my thumping heart. It was interesting that his face was hardly recognizable, but his hot gazes still gave me goose bumps.
Dinner flew by under Noah’s watchful eyes, and I was stunned to have Her working alongside me to clean up the dishes. Surprisingly, she seemed to know her way around a kitchen, and she and Mrs. Miller were in a constant state of chattering, obviously enjoying each other’s company. It was just weird, I thought as I stacked the last of the dishes, how two people so completely different could be getting on so well.
“Are you very nervous about what your father will say?” Sarah murmured softly near my ear.
She hadn’t said much to me throughout dinner, and up until then, I didn’t realize that she had any idea about what was going down after the meal.
Searching her eyes for support, and finding it, I replied in a hushed tone, “Totally freaked out, to be exact.”
She grinned big at my choice of words and rubbed my back reassuringly. I was beginning to discover that Noah wasn’t the only one in the Miller family with a touchy-feely personality. It seemed whenever Mrs. Miller got the chance, she was squeezing or patting me. As if perfectly orchestrated, Sarah left me and ushered Rachel and the younger children out the door, saying it would be a nice evening for some fishing in the pond at the back of the farm. Justin rushed to join them, but Sam stayed rooted to his chair at the table. Jacob then excused himself abruptly to drive Katie home, leaving just the pertinent parties in the room, plus nosy Sam.
I glanced over at Dad, who seemed to be expecting something when he sat down close beside his girlfriend with a resigned look on his face. Mr. and Mrs. Miller took the seats across from them, beside Noah, and I, after sizing up the family dynamics in front of me, took the seat next to Her. I caught Sam from the corner of my eye roll his eyes as he leaned back in his chair with an obnoxious look on his face. He was ready for the show. Deciding that I wasn’t going to let Sam bother me, I stared ahead, at Noah, for emotional support.
He smiled confidently back at me, not really improving my anxiety. Actually, the rolling in my stomach had returned, and I swallowed down the hot juices, praying silently that I wouldn’t be sick in front of everyone.
The tension in the room multiplied during the silence, and I couldn’t help bringing my finger to the corner of my lips to absently chew on the already short nail. A muffled cough came from Dad. I glanced at him and saw it written on his face that he wasn’t looking forward to this conversation. His girlfriend was feeding off the tension now, fidgeting with her hands on the table, in stark contrast to Mrs. Miller, who, as expected, sat calmly, not even a twitch.
Finally, Mr. Miller spoke with a deep and sure voice. “David, it seems we have reached a time when we need to discuss our children’s relationship.”
Noah was studying my dad now with a look of anticipation.
“Yes, that would probably be appropriate under the circumstances.” Dad’s voice was guarded, and I couldn’t read anything into his words.
“Rebecca and I have agreed to allow Noah to court your daughter,” Mr. Miller said, with the more important issue of turning Amish still hidden from Dad.
Dad seemed to suddenly relax. Exhaling in relief, he said, “Oh, Amos, is that what you wanted to talk to me about?” He paused, smiling around the table. “Well, I’m perfectly fine with Rose dating your son.”
Even the girlfriend seemed to breathe easier. In the far reaches of my mind, I wondered, why the heck would she care so much?
Mr. Miller frowned slightly, looking from Noah to me and back again, before turning toward Dad and saying, “David, I don’t think you understand what I’m saying to you.” After a heavy breath, he continued, “We have only agreed to allow Noah to court your daughter because she has made the decisio
n to…become Amish.”
The words hung in the air like clothes on a wash line, just glaringly out there in the open. I risked a peek at Dad’s face to witness it go from shock to fury. Dad was usually a pretty coolheaded guy, but when he was mad about something—watch out. The poor Miller family didn’t know what they were in for, and I braced in the seat, closing my eyes tight.
Dad’s uncomfortable laugh snapped my eyes back open, when he scoffed, “You’re kidding, right?”
Calm as a cucumber, Mr. Miller countered, “No, I’m perfectly serious. Our children have fallen in love, and I tried to stop it from happening, without success. Then I attempted to keep them apart, with tragic consequences. After praying to the Lord about the matter, I found peace that these young people should be together.”
“Look, Amos, I’m fine with them dating, but there is no way on this earth we live on that I will allow Rose to become Amish,” he said with angry certainty.
Mr. Miller was more determined than I ever imagined when he continued to hammer away at Dad, saying, “I understand that you wouldn’t want your child to walk a different path than that which you chose for yourself, but you must consider her desires in the matter.”
Oh, great. Now Dad’s head swiveled sharply to me and with squinting eyes, he demanded, “What is going on, Rose? Did you actually tell these people you were going to join their cult?”
Cult was a harsh word, I thought, but seeing Noah’s reassuring gaze on me, I found the strength to stand up to Dad and inform him in a slightly quivering voice, “Dad, I love Noah with all my heart. We’re meant to be together. Can’t you see that?”
“But what does this have to do with you becoming Amish?”
“It’s just the way it has to be, sir,” Noah interrupted. Now Dad’s wrath was directed at him.
“If you think I’m going to let my daughter drop out of school to live in your antifeminist world, you’re delusional,” he said scathingly.
Mr. Miller said in a louder voice, still in pretty good control of his emotions, though, “I anticipated your feelings about the education part of this issue, and I talked to our bishop and the other ministers about this matter. We all agreed that Rose would be allowed to continue studying her learning materials in the home of the Amish family she lives with during the courtship.”
A loud snort from Sam reminded me that the big lug was still in the room, and I shot the meanest look I could manage at him. I was disappointed when he just snickered at me.
The conversation was over when Dad abruptly stood, grabbing my arm and hoisting me out of the chair, as if I was a garbage bag, half-full. I caught Noah’s enraged expression as he gripped the arms of the chair ready to bolt his still-broken body up, until his dad’s hand caught his shoulder, holding him down.
Tears began spilling out of my eyes uncontrollably, and the wet gasp that erupted from my mouth caused Dad to loosen his hold on me slightly. Simultaneously, the girlfriend was beside me, with her arm tightly around my waist. I didn’t want to lean on her, but my stupid body felt all weak with the realization that Noah and I were still being kept apart. I pushed my face into her embrace against my better judgment just before I saw Sam’s eyes widen as he rose from his chair. “This conversation is over, Amos. I’m sorry, but I think it’s best if these kids take a break from each other for a while.” He didn’t sound remorseful in the least as he pushed his girlfriend, still supporting me, toward the door.
I heard Noah say frantically, “Do something, Father.”
“There’ll be no talking to him right now, son. It’s better to leave him be for a while.”
Dad stopped at the doorway, while his girlfriend continued to hustle me toward the car, still gripping me tightly. I glanced over my shoulder to see him go back in the house, causing my heart to stumble at the thought of what he was doing. Even at the growing distance, his voice was loud and clear as he said, “Don’t go convincing yourselves that I’ll change my mind on this issue either, because I won’t. Just forget about her, Noah—find yourself an Amish girl and leave Rose the hell alone. And if you don’t stop pursuing her, damn it, she’s still a minor and I’ll get the law involved.”
The warm August evening air folded around me as we reached the car, and I thought to myself how perfect the night could have been if Dad had seen reason. Somehow he caught up with us and I found myself being shoved into the car like a criminal, before he jumped in and revved the engine. With a spray of gravel, Dad backed up and peeled forward down the driveway. The ride home was like a wispy cloud to my battered mind. Although I vaguely noticed Sam sitting quietly beside me, I made no effort to make eye contact with him.
Locking myself in my room, I cried myself out. Lying in the dusky light on my bed, after all my emotional noises were spent, I heard raised voices downstairs. Curiosity pushed some of my grief aside, and I tiptoed into the hallway and down the stairs.
To my dismay, Sam was sitting on the bottom step already listening to the voices coming from the family room around the corner. With only mild hesitation, and without looking in his direction, I joined him. He ignored me with the same conviction I had used on him earlier, thankfully.
“That’s insane, Tina. I can’t believe you’d even suggest such a thing!”
“Just listen to me, David. Love is the most powerful emotion in the world, and if these kids feel that strongly for each other, they’ll find a way to be together. If you aren’t careful about this, they’ll just run off some night, and you won’t hear from your daughter for years—if ever.” Her voice was emotionally charged.
“I think you’re being a little dramatic about it,” he mocked, a strange tone coming from his usual friendly voice.
“I minored in psychology, and one of my interests was adolescent behavior. I would bet money that if those two don’t run off, then she’ll get pregnant—is that what you want?” she asked bluntly. I was surprised that this woman, whom I had despised for weeks, was now my number-one advocate.
“Of course I don’t want that to happen to her. But I can control her at this point.” He seemed to be wavering a little bit.
“Oh, don’t fool yourself about that. Now that she has another man in her life that she thinks can take care of her, you’ve already lost your hold.” She spoke softer, and I strained to hear.
“God, if we hadn’t made this damn move, none of this would have happened. She would still be focused on doing her dancing and going to vet school.”
“Some things are just meant to be.”
“Why the hell did she have to grow up so fast? I feel like I’ve already lost her.” His voice was drained of emotion, empty.
“You haven’t been listening to me. You haven’t lost her, yet. I think if you go ahead and let her spend a few weeks with this Amish family, wearing those horrid dresses and bonnets and following all their rules, she’ll be begging you to come home. Then it will be her decision, so she won’t be automatically rebelling against your authority.”
“But what if she doesn’t? What if I go through with this craziness, and she likes being Amish. Then what?” His words were full of turmoil.
Silence filled the air and when Tina did speak again her voice was so low I had to quickly creep to the doorway to hear her. Sam followed me, and holding his breath, he leaned over my head to listen.
“I guess there is the chance that could happen, but I highly doubt it. And just think about it, these Amish people would take good physical care of her. And they are so strict she’d probably get in less trouble with them than she would here, being in this big house without adult supervision while you’re at the hospital.”
“Do you really think I should let her do this, Tina?” he asked, sounding pained.
“I don’t think you have a lot of choices. Either you put her on lockdown and hire a security guard for her, or you let her experience this lifestyle and make up her own mind to walk away from it. Remember, no matter what you do, she’ll be eighteen in no time at all. If she’s kept away
from him until then, she’ll probably rush right into marriage with the guy right when her birthday arrives, which I’m sure you don’t want either.”
For what seemed like a few minutes, there was dead silence, then Dad spoke. “Okay, then. I’ll take the biggest gamble of my life with my daughter’s future, and we’ll wait and see where the chips fall.”
Then there was the muffled sound of kissing, and I stepped back from the door, jogging lightly up the stairs. Before I got the door shut, Sam appeared, not surprising me in the least.
“You know, Rose, if you do this you’re making a huge mistake,” he said.
But I was too happy to let him bring me down.
“Why don’t you focus on your relationship with the Barbie doll and leave me alone, Sam. I appreciate all your concern, really I do, but you’re wrong this time.”
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