Tyson’s voice went incredibly soft. “Exactly, Cam. You didn’t just jump into bed with this guy because you like his pretty muscles. You care. Every guy you’ve ever been with, including me, was because you cared. I know you even if you don’t understand yourself. You like this guy, so go after him. Fuck his brains out and either get him out of your system and move on or keep him.”
I couldn’t help the loud trembling breath that escaped. “He’s a womanizing asshole and he made sure, after the fact, that I knew he only wanted me for one night.”
“Ahhh, Cam. I’m sorry. You know I need to fly in and kick his ass now. No one treats my best friend that way.”
A burst of laughter escaped through my tears. “I love you too.”
I could feel Tyson’s smile across the distance. “So what are you going to do? Does the brother have the hots for you?”
“I’m not sure. We’re friends. He’s a nice guy.”
“Now I understand. Cam wants the bad boy.”
“No. Yes. Crap, I don’t know what I want.” I really didn’t. Joel turns me on too. Maybe it was the whole bad boy thing. What the hell was wrong with women anyway?
“Go after what you want—a man, the biggest break in your career, or both. I’m standing by to be your rebound fuck if that’s what you need. Before you turn me down, you know it’s no hardship. You’re the one who wanted the friends-only relationship.”
“You’re making me sad again, Ty.” If I had continued having sex with him, we wouldn’t be friends now.
“I want you happy, Cam. Never forget that.”
“Same here. Thanks.”
“And Cami?”
Oh no, he was going to ruin everything again. “Yes.”
“I can hear the change in your voice. I always knew someday you would bust out of your shell and leave the shit from your past behind. Whatever you do, don’t let the brothers push you back again. Lift your head.”
We hung up a few minutes later. I knew Tyson had crushed on me for a long time, but I thought it had faded. Boy was I wrong. Lift my head. Getting this assignment forced me to. I refused to take one step forward and two back. Ty was right; it was time for me to grow up.
Chapter Nineteen
I worked for hours outlining the next two articles I wanted to write—one being the family man’s perspective. Currently, there wasn’t a lot of money in rugby and somehow you had to juggle a full-time job, practice, matches, and family. I wanted a wife’s input too. I’d decided on Mean Mike, a huge guy who worked, played rugby, and was father to four young children. His wife would be the key ingredient, so I needed to interview her.
The knock on the door startled me because I had no idea it was dinner time. Barefoot, I walked over and opened it. Joel stood holding a bag of food with a tired smile. I moved back so he could enter.
“How was practice?” I asked as he set the food on the dresser. I started clearing the small table of my laptop, recorder, and notes so we had a place to eat.
“Long and I missed you.” His voice came from directly behind me.
I turned and his hands went around my waist. “What are you doing, Joel?”
“Eliminating the problem that kept me awake last night.” His lips slammed down on mine. Possessive, hungry, and unfucking believable. Shit, the man could kiss.
I wasn’t thinking coherently. His chest pressing into mine had my nipples instantly hard. That wasn’t all; I could feel Joel’s erection against my belly. I should have stopped it, but, damn, he turned my legs to jelly and ignited the rest of me into a ball of sizzling need.
He slowly pulled away and took my arms from around his neck. I didn’t remember placing them there. He reached over me and pulled out the chair, giving me a slight nudge so I would sit.
“What the hell?” God did I sound needy. My legs hit the chair as I plopped down. Joel grabbed the food and placed the bag in front of me.
“We had to get that out of the way so I can sleep tonight.”
I looked at his jeans. I seriously doubted the bad boy he hid beneath the material was thinking about sleep. I raised my eyes knowing Joel watched me. “I don’t get it.”
“I’m taking friendship off the table if it’s an only-friends deal.” He ran his eyes over me just as I’d done to him. “I’m willing to take my time, but I want no misunderstanding about what I want.”
“Why?”
His laugh was a sexy vibration that went clear to my toes. “We’re eating first and then we can finish this discussion. I may need to show you if the words won’t sink in. I’m starved, so food first.”
He removed a sub sandwich from the bag and placed it in front of me. He slid two more out of the bag. I should have told him I only wanted half a sandwich, but I was thinking he wouldn’t have a problem eating what was left of mine. We ate in silence as I tried to put my finger on what came over him and why he was changing the rules.
Joel gladly ate half of my sandwich. Just watching him devour the food was a turn on. To keep his body as ripped as it was he had to exercise and fuel continually, I understood that. But Joel managed to take eating to another level.
We cleared the trash from the table. I looked around the room in hopes I could find someplace to rest my eyes other than his luscious body.
“You ready for that conversation?” He took my hand and led me to a large comfy chair in the corner.
“N-no.” My stumbled word received a husky laugh. He sat down, pulling me into his lap. So not good.
He situated me so I was resting slightly sideways. His nose rubbed along my neck, inhaling and exhaling my scent. “I like you,” he said adding a slight squeeze. “As more than a friend.”
“Your br…”
He wouldn’t allow me to finish. “I’ve never cared who Van tossed away until you. Now, I want to rip his head off every time I’m within five feet of him. I’ve wanted to since the night outside the steak house; maybe even before that. If I can’t let this feeling go, it’ll eat me alive. No one benefits from me going Neanderthal. This isn’t about you and my brother, it can’t be. It’s about you and me. I want you. Not for just a night, though. I have no idea where this will take us. I won’t offer big promises, because we have a long way to go. That doesn’t mean what I want comes without an understanding. We need to get to know each other, and being friends works, so we can do that. It was unfair for you to think I don’t have another agenda.” He dipped his head back to my neck, kissing along my throat.
“I can’t think while you’re doing that,” I groaned.
“Good, that’s the idea,” he whispered against my skin, causing goose bumps on top of goose bumps.
I stretched my neck, giving him more to nibble on. “Do I have a say in this?”
“Say yes.” He raked his teeth across my skin.
It took a few more kisses before I said yes. Did I mention the man could kiss? My hand went to his cheek, the scarred side. He grabbed my fingers and held them away, but never stopped assaulting my mouth. I was stunned when he broke away and stood up keeping ahold of me until I found my balance. With a final small kiss to the tip of my nose he headed for the door.
“You’re leaving?” I tried not to whine, but it came out between that and frustration.
“I’m exhausted and I need sleep. I also don’t have any willpower right now, so being alone in your hotel room with the bed five feet away isn’t a great idea. I’ll call you tomorrow.” His smile was soft and sexy. “Dream of me.” He walked out.
My legs hit the end of the bed and I fell backward throwing my arms out and giving a very loud groan. Damn him. This was why women owned vibrators and I unfortunately didn’t have one with me. I lay there thinking about what he said and couldn’t help my smile and the fuzzy warmth in my belly. The knock on my door a few minutes later surprised me.
He came back. I was terrified and excited. Excitement won out as I jumped off the bed and threw the door open.
Fuck.
It wasn’t Joel. It was V
an. I tried to shut the door in his face, but he grabbed it. “Okay. I deserve that, but I just want to talk.” He used his seductive voice.
“We are not talking about anything but rugby and it won’t be in my hotel room. You need to leave.” I proudly kept my voice even.
“Don’t be that way, baby.” He pushed the door back and hooked my waist with one arm, drawing me against his body. “I can’t get our night together out of my head.”
That pissed me off. “You got me out of your head so fast I’m surprised you remember my name. Wait, you don’t. I’m ‘baby’ because you don’t even know my fucking name. Get out, Van.”
He kissed the skin directly beneath my ear, ignoring everything I said. “I know your name, Cami. I know what you want.” His lips traveled.
An inch away from my lips, I wrenched my head back. “Stop, Van. Let. Me. Go.”
His hands slowly dropped away.
My heart was racing so fast I felt faint, but I managed to look him in the eyes. “Leave now.” His gaze went to my chest and I wanted to cover my breasts.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t over. I made a mistake and I’ll rectify it. Again… your challenge is accepted.”
I almost had the door shut.
“Ah hell,” he said at the same time he pulled me into the hallway and kissed me. I was so startled it took a few seconds to get my bearings. I tore my mouth away.
“You son of a bitch. Don’t touch me.” I scrambled back into my room and slammed the door, securing both locks. I saw the satisfied look on his face right before the door shut. I wanted to hit something, so I kicked the garbage can. A lot of good it did me. Hurt my bare toes and scattered the paper wrappings from the dinner I shared with Joel. Fuck. Joel would kill him. I picked up the trash, righted the can, and walked into the bathroom. I removed my clothes and got into the shower. I felt like a fool for sleeping with such an egotistical jerk. It was my own fault. There was nothing I could do about the past. I let the hot water roll over me while I thought about Joel. Honest, sweet Joel with a hot body to die for. Why did his brother need to be such a creep? And why the hell had I slept with him?
I finally left the shower and crawled beneath the sheets wearing only my nightshirt. The chirp of my cell surprised me two minutes after I shut off the bedside light. It was Joel.
“Hi,” I said softly.
“Are you in bed?” He spoke just as softly.
I tried keeping my current mood out of my voice. “Yes, I just shut off the light.”
“I wanted to say goodnight. What’s wrong, Cami?”
Crap, there was no way I could tell him. “I just need a good night’s sleep.”
He was quiet for a few moments. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight.”
Chapter Twenty
The next two days were hectic. I interviewed several rugby wives and talked to a few of the kids who were old enough to tell me about being in a rugby family. I ate dinner each night with Joel. Besides a gentle hand on my back or holding hands, he didn’t touch me until we said goodnight. His way of saying goodbye reminded me he was interested in being more than friends. I went to bed remembering the sexy press of his lips to mine—his scent and erotic grumbles as he took small nips from my neck. There was no such thing as dry panties when Joel kissed me goodnight.
The subject of his brother never came up. Van didn’t come back, and I stayed away from the stadium. The rumors about me and Van worried me, but Joel never said anything. When I was with him, people, including women, were always friendly. I thought I received a few measured stares, but I knew it could also be that I was self-conscious.
I managed to find two additional bras at the local mall. They weren’t the prettiest, but they weren’t white and they had padded shoulder straps, so I had no severe indents in my skin when I removed it at night. Joel, ever the gentleman, kept his eyes on mine after his first perusal when we saw each other.
I visited Charlie on Thursday afternoon and he proudly showed me his printer. She was a beaut and just the heavy sound of rhythmic clatter and the smell of paper and ink delivered a special thrill deep inside of me. There was something about his operation that reminded me of my studies in college and learning about the days when newspapers kept the country in tune. I had a great visit.
After kissing me goodnight, Joel gave me an updated schedule for Friday through Sunday with the bus departure times. I had to be at the stadium at seven the following morning. I packed my bag, including my washed Slam t-shirt. Stub had me bring my clothes to her house and she washed everything for me. I argued and lost. She was a stubborn little thing and I didn’t have a chance. She would be at the game Saturday with Charlie. She loaned me one of her old cameras for pictures on the bus if any sale-worthy muscle shots popped up.
“You know,” she said, “sleeping, stretching, showing skin… that kind of thing.”
I was far from a professional photographer, but I was game. The pictures sold for a good cause. Speaking with several children involved in the youth program changed my mind about the importance of sports in general. They dreamed of playing college rugby and even told me what they wanted to major in. Mike’s oldest, an eight-year-old, wanted to be a dentist. Rugby kept these kids in shape and gave them something to strive for. This was a complete one-eighty for me. I was such a quiet, shy child, and though I remember being happy, nothing compared to the excitement these kids had about rugby.
I slept fitfully, waking up several times thinking about Joel and Van. I arrived at the stadium ten minutes early with my lack-of-sleep cranky pants on. The guys were throwing their bags in the storage compartment beneath the bus. I removed mine from my trunk and didn’t realize anyone was around until Van grabbed it out of my hands.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me, but we can at least be friends.” He started walking to the bus.
I grabbed my scrap bag and laptop following close behind. Funny how the sight of his muscles did nothing for me today. “I can roll my bag,” I said in frustration. He didn’t look back.
Several players greeted me with a good morning as a few stared between me and Van. I took a quick look around for Joel but didn’t see him.
Van grabbed my hand. “Come on, you’re sitting with me.”
I tried to shake his hand off, but his grip only tightened. I couldn’t believe he was doing this in front of his teammates. “I am not sitting with you,” I whispered under my breath.
Again, he ignored me. We rounded the side of the bus and Joel was standing there. I jerked my arm and pushed Van a little. Shit, Joel’s face went red. Van stopped at the same time Joel stepped behind him and hooked his arm around my waist. Instant relief washed over me until Joel’s stiff body and rapid breathing clued me in that it wasn’t over.
Van looked at Joel’s hand. His smile turned unpleasant. “So tell me, bro, how’d you manage to stake your claim between Monday night and this morning?”
Oh shit.
Joel’s body stiffened even further. He turned to me, his voice clipped. “Get on the bus, Cami.” He moved slightly, blocking me from Van while giving me room to go up the steps.
I wasn’t sure what to do until I saw Mean Mike hovering behind Joel. He nodded his head to the bus. I hoped this meant he had Joel’s back. I couldn’t help the pissed off look I cast Van’s way. I walked up the steps, headed three seats down, and sat where I could see outside. Mike stood between the brothers.
Van put his hands up and smiled. “Just thought she’d like to sit with someone she knew, but obviously she knows us both intimately.”
Mike shoved Joel back. Van just laughed as several more players grabbed Joel.
Mike was in Joel’s face. “Save it for the fucking field. You can kill each other afterwards.”
Van walked up the bus steps as the guys calmed Joel down. Thankfully, one of the players followed directly behind Van.
Van gave me an assessing look without saying a word. He sat in the first seat
, two seats up from me. Mike came on the bus next and smiled my way. Joel was next. I was worried he wouldn’t sit anywhere near me. The significance of Monday night had to register with him. We needed to talk, but it wouldn’t happen during a half-day bus ride. He sat down beside me without looking in my direction. His exposed arm muscles remained tight, the veins prominent. I didn’t think I could do this. We’d be sitting next to each other for hours. My head dropped and I stared down at my hands while other players entered the bus. It was happening again—my need to pull my arms and legs into my shell and hide.
The bus finally pulled away. From the corner of my eye, I watched Joel shift his ball cap low over his face, put his seat back, and close his eyes. In desperation, I dug through my bag and found my old iPod and headphones. The iPod was a sixteenth birthday present from my parents. It had Sweet Sixteen, love Mom and Dad engraved on the back. I found the playlist I wanted and turned it on. My eyes closed as I tried to escape into the sound. A tear slipped down my cheek and I worried a major meltdown was seconds away. Joel’s warm fingers grasped mine.
He pulled my earbud out and whispered, “Shh, we’ll talk later.” He gave my hand a brief squeeze and replaced the earbud.
I breathed deeply, grateful that he was at least speaking to me.
We stopped for lunch, giving everyone a chance to stretch their legs. The team had clearly eaten there before, because several people applauded when we walked into the diner. Joel led me over to the last two counter seats as other players grabbed booths. I didn’t see Van.
I ordered a hamburger and fries, too depressed to eat a salad. If I gained twenty pounds maybe all my man trouble would go away. I almost laughed aloud. They say when you lose weight you lose it in your boobs first. So that means if I gain it there first I’ll need a cane to walk.
Joel ordered a French dip sandwich and a hamburger. An older man sat down next to him and began a conversation about this year’s chances for the championship. It meant Joel could ignore me without trying. Besides his whispered words and small squeeze to my hand, he hadn’t touched me.
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