I stared at her and nodded. “I stole a look at a map in the witch’s study during my stay there. Since I had nowhere else to go and I was in the area, I was curious to check it out.”
My voice trailed off. The map. I instinctively reached into my pocket where I had put it. It was gone.
Damn.
“A map, huh?” Jeramiah said, his eyes sparking with interest. “Do you still have it on you?”
I shook my head, scowling. “They must have taken it from me.”
A breeze blew against me, carrying a strong whiff of the humans’ blood. My stomach lurched. I gripped hold of a tree branch, trying to ground myself as I felt myself beginning to lose control again.
I needed something to distract myself with desperately. I forced my eyes back to Jeramiah. Eager to divert questions away from myself, I asked again, “Who are you?”
The vampires exchanged glances among themselves. Jeramiah was the one to respond. “We’re rogues too, so to speak,” he said.
“Where are you from?”
“We don’t go giving out that information to strangers.”
“Well, what are you doing here?”
Jeramiah nudged the human at his feet. “Revenge. This particular group of hunters has caused us some trouble recently. Besides, we can always do with a top-up of human blood.”
“Thank you for saving me,” I said.
Jeramiah nodded. “We were there anyway. It wasn’t a lot of extra hassle to bring you along.”
The other vampires were beginning to shuffle their feet impatiently.
“Let’s go, Jeramiah,” Michael said, gripping his shoulder.
“Wait,” Jeramiah said, shrugging aside the blond. He took a step closer to me, studying my face intently. He stared into my eyes. “You’re newly turned, aren’t you?”
I was taken aback. I’d thought I was doing a decent job of concealing my bloodlust. I didn’t know how he’d guessed. I thought it was best not to deny it, since he seemed so certain, so I nodded.
He gave me a knowing smile. He looked back at the other vampires, who were now looking at me with interest and had stopped shuffling their feet.
“And you really are a rogue?” Jeramiah said, raising a brow.
“Yes, I already told you. I wouldn’t be here all alone in the middle of this forest if I wasn’t.”
“Hm.” He crossed his arms over his chest, as if still deep in thought. He turned his back on me and addressed the others in a language I’d never heard before. I had no idea what he was saying, but the others began responding in the same language. The discussion seemed to get more heated by the minute until eventually Jeramiah turned back to face me.
“Do you have somewhere to go?”
I shook my head.
“Would you like shelter?”
I looked at them, studying each of their faces one by one. I didn’t know these vampires, but the fact was, I couldn’t stay in that submarine. I’d already tried, but my bloodlust had forced me to shore for human blood. And now that I was on shore, I could do with somewhere safe to stay, away from the sunlight beating into my eyes.
“That depends on where it is,” I replied.
“Somewhere safe. Away from the sun. Away from the threat of hunters. Somewhere with an unlimited supply of blood. Where you never need to worry about going thirsty.”
My mouth watering, on the verge of losing control and grabbing one of those humans at his feet, I couldn’t deny the attraction of his words. I nodded. “At least for now.”
To my surprise, he picked up the unconscious human and placed him down at my feet. “Half-turn this human.”
“What?’
“You heard me. Half-turn him.”
“Half-turn? What are you talking about?”
Michael nudged Jeramiah’s shoulder. “You can’t expect everyone to have figured this out.”
Jeramiah nodded. “Of course. We’ve known about it so long I just assume that it’s common knowledge among vampires now… Half-turning humans means they don’t turn fully. Newly turned vampires have the capability to do this. We’ve tried with older vampires before, but they always end up either turning them or killing them.”
My mind was reeling. I’d never heard of “half-turning” a human. I’d always thought that either a turning would be successful and the human would turn into a vampire, or the human would die.
“How is that even done?”
“You exercise self-control and only insert a small dose of your venom.”
I scoffed. I was sure that the moment my fangs touched his skin, I’d drain him dry, the way I had with Yasmine and the other human I didn’t even recall by face.
“What use are half-vampires to you anyway? What are they?” I asked.
“They make useful, and more permanent, servants. While they’re not as strong as us, their blood isn’t at all appealing. It’s bitter. They live a long time. They’re preserved just as vampires are. And they’re of no threat to us because they haven’t gotten far enough into their turning to have developed fangs or claws. Nor do they consume only blood. They can eat regular food too—so they’re not a burden to feed.”
“How is it that a newly turned vampire can do this and not an older one?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Younger vampires’ venom is less strong. It isn’t as developed and it’s less fast-acting. That’s why I believe you might be useful to us… You can try, at least. Worst case—you fail and kill an enemy.”
I stared at the hunter he’d placed but a few feet away from me. I had enough reason to want to kill these hunters after what they’d just done to me. But the truth was, I didn’t hate hunters. My grandfather had been one—hell, my own father had been one before he’d turned into a vampire. Besides, even if this hunter did deserve it, I was trying to fight off the darkness digging my fangs into this man would only plunge me further into.
Michael scowled. “All this explanation, Jeramiah, you’re making out that we’re desperate for him. He’s got much more to gain by his joining us than we have.”
“True,” Jeramiah said. He looked at me seriously, studying my face. “So, make your decision. Try to half-turn this man, and if you succeed you can come with us. Fail and, well, you’re in the same situation as you are now. I can guide you how to do it. But I need to see if you have enough self-control.”
I gulped as I laid eyes on the hunter again. I would have to be crazy to think that I could pull this off. The moment my fangs grazed his neck, I’d be sucking out his blood. I wouldn’t have the restraint to turn someone, let alone half-turn them.
As much as I was sure my body was going to regret this, I took a step back. Everything about Jeramiah’s request felt wrong. Half-turning someone so they became a slave for the rest of their lives? And I didn’t even know these vampires. What did they actually do with half-vampires?
I didn’t care for this hunter, but it was more for myself than for him that I stepped away from him. This all felt a step closer toward the darkness I was trying to escape.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Jeramiah raised a brow in surprise. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
The vampires exchanged glances and remained silent. “Very well,” Jeramiah said.
“Let’s go,” Michael said. “We’ve wasted enough time already. We don’t need anyone else, we’ll manage ourselves. Worst case, we just turn one of the humans we have already and then train them to half-turn if we want more half-bloods.” Michael turned on his heel and began to walk away. The other vampires followed. It was Jeramiah who remained beside me, still staring at me.
“Wait, Michael,” he said. Michael stopped short, no longer bothering to hide the impatience in his face. “Hand me your phone.”
“Why?”
“Just hand it over.”
Michael looked taken aback, but reluctantly pulled out a small black flip phone from his pocket and handed it to Jeramiah, who held it out in front of m
e.
“What’s this for?” I asked, taking the phone in my hand and flipping it open.
“In case you change your mind,” Jeramiah said. “My number is the only contact on there. You’ll be able to contact me wherever you are. It’s not an ordinary phone.”
I was about to hand the phone back to him—I wasn’t sure I wanted to accept any kind of gifts from these people—but I had second thoughts and kept it.
I nodded.
“If you want to join us,” he said, “you’ll find a human, half-turn them and call the number. Then we’ll talk. Perhaps you’ll be desperate enough in a few days of trying to survive alone by yourself… Remember, the trick is to stop before you feel you’ve started.”
I looked at him in confusion. Before I could ask him anything else, he bent down, picked up the human again, and followed the others. I stared after them as the group disappeared into the trees. I had no idea where they were heading. And I had no idea what I would do now that I’d been left alone again.
I breathed more freely as they rushed off, the scent of human blood becoming fainter and fainter. But I was beginning to feel the burning again. The agony I’d endured in the sun had taken a lot out of me.
Once they’d disappeared, I looked down at the phone, then slipped it into my pocket. I didn’t know what I was going to do now. But somehow, going with them didn’t feel like the right path. I was giving into darkness enough as it was. Something told me that their company might make it settle permanently over my eyes. I was better off trying to figure myself out on my own. What they did to humans and the way they managed wherever it was they lived—it seemed to be everything my parents had come to fight against.
Besides, I didn’t know them. They could have been enemies of The Shade for all I knew.
As I made my way across the hot sand back toward my submarine, trying to run as quickly as I could beneath the sun’s rays, the craving for blood returning full force, I felt glad that I hadn’t told them my real name. Not just for my own safety, but because I didn’t want to mar the name of my parents.
Chapter 4: Ben
In many ways, returning to the submarine was a foolish move, especially since I’d already detected my hunger coming back. It wasn’t more than a few hours before my eyes became clouded again and my bloodlust took over my brain. I found myself navigating back toward shore and arrived by the time it was evening. I had reached some South American coast. As I climbed out of the hatch, part of me dreaded what I might find, while the other part of me was trembling with anticipation. For the rush that would once again fill my veins with ecstasy.
The beach I’d landed on seemed quite empty. I stalked along for several miles, but on still finding nobody, moved further inland. I walked through a tree-lined path, sniffing the night air for any sign of human proximity. I stopped abruptly as I reached a main road. The occasional car whizzed by, but otherwise it was quiet.
But it didn’t take long for me to find a square full of people. Young people, not much older than myself, hanging on the swings and smoking. As soon as I laid eyes on them, I was a lost cause. I sped into the center of the square like a flash of light. They barely knew what hit them. I rushed off, a man in my arms, my fangs already burying deep into his neck as I ran.
The screams of the others drowned out as I lifted him up a tree and finished sucking out every last drop from his veins. Then I let go of the body, letting it smash against the concrete below.
The pleasure was still lighting up my brain. It was still too early for the horror and guilt to kick in. I’d expected to feel full after consuming that man. But I didn’t. I had room for another. Perhaps it was the sun that had drained me, or perhaps my bloodlust was increasing, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I just knew what I wanted. And I took it—a young woman this time, from the same square.
Scooping her up in my arms, I raced with her back toward the beach. I stopped outside the vessel, finishing the last of her blood before discarding her body in the waves and climbing in.
I closed the hatch above me and leaned back against the metal wall, closing my eyes and relishing the fresh rush of blood flowing through me, nourishing every cell of my body. I felt so strong I could crush a ball of iron with my fist. So drunk on blood I felt invincible. I’d had no idea that blood could make a vampire feel like this. It satisfied their hunger, the burning in the stomach, that I understood… but this? It was like a drug to me. I couldn’t remember even my father describing bloodlust with this much intensity.
I pulled myself to my feet and staggered toward the control room, putting the vessel into reverse and moving away from the shore. I stopped about three miles out, lying back down on the floor, staring up at the dark ceiling.
It felt like I was in the early stages of an addiction. The more I killed, the more I felt the urge for it. It seemed to be easier and easier each time I tried. Each gulp of blood I drank came with less guilt. Less hesitation.
It was only after five hours of sitting alone in the submarine that the slightest flicker of guilt resurfaced in my dark mind.
I can’t keep killing like this.
And yet I knew that I would as long as I remained alone in this submarine. I had nobody to hold me back. Even when I tried to stay away from the shore, once the darkness clouded my mind I just found myself returning again.
I walked over to the bathroom and stared at myself again in the mirror. I almost yelled in shock. My eyes had turned pitch black. It was as if they had never been green.
I splashed cold water on my face, drying it with a towel, as if this would somehow change the color of my eyes.
I staggered back, my back hitting the wall of the bathroom.
What is happening to me?
Chapter 5: Ben
The moment of clarity that had descended on me in the submarine didn’t last long. I soon went back to relishing the way my body felt after consuming so much blood. I sat in the control cabin for hours, staring out at the dark waters. I sat for almost a day before the craving for more fresh blood took hold of me again, and, like a slave to my own senses, I found myself being dragged back to shore.
I barely even felt the sun digging into my skin as I sought out my next victims. All I could think about was the exquisite liquid seeping into my mouth.
I began to lose track of how many people I killed in the days that followed. But after what was perhaps the tenth murder, the guilt was practically non-existent. I was barely self-aware enough for this to scare even me any more. Slicing through a man’s throat was beginning to feel no different than slicing open an orange—a means of sustenance I couldn’t do without.
It wasn’t until the phone rang in my chest pocket that I gained some sense of who I was again.
I scrambled to pick it up.
“Hello?” I said.
“Joseph.” It was Jeramiah’s voice.
“What do you want?” I breathed.
“I thought I’d check in on you. How are you coping?”
“Fine,” I grunted.
“Good. Good. So you’re finding blood all right?”
“Yes.”
“All right. I was just curious. Not all newly turned vampires are cut out to be murderers, you see. Some prefer others to do the killing and just partake of the blood. But it seems that you’re doing just fine.”
With that, he hung up.
I removed the phone from my ear, staring down at the receiver. There was something about those last words that didn’t sit right with me, and I wasn’t sure why.
Murderer. That was what he’d called me.
I’m a murderer.
The word finally triggered the emotions I’d been struggling to feel the past few days. Regret. Guilt. Fright at what I was becoming, perhaps had already become.
No. I can’t let myself fall like this.
I pulled myself to my feet, still staring down at the phone.
I’m not a murderer. I kept repeating the words over and over in my head, as if just sa
ying them would make it true.
I walked to the end of the submarine and slammed my fists against the wall, making two more dents. I stamped my foot on the ground, making the vessel rock from side to side and shudder.
No, I can’t do this.
I tried to think of my parents, but they seemed like a distant memory, as did Rose.
I have nobody but myself to save me now.
I have to stop killing.
My whole body shuddered, as though it was already starting to go into withdrawals just at the thought.
My last kill was still fresh in my memory, my stomach still filled. I looked down at the phone again.
Perhaps I would have been better off joining Jeramiah. At least I might not have to do the killing myself. He said they had blood.
Perhaps that would give me the chance I needed to climb out of this pit.
Chapter 6: Ben
If I was going to seriously consider taking up Jeramiah’s offer, I needed to act quickly. Before the next wave of hunger. I’d just finished consuming three humans. I doubted I could drink more blood now even if I tried, I was so filled to the brim.
I found myself flipping open the phone, my fingers hovering over the keypad. Jeramiah had said I’d have to “half-turn” a human and bring them with me if I was to be accepted into their group. That required self-control beyond measure. Any normal vampire would have had trouble with that, let alone me—I could barely look at a human without salivating.
But I had to try. I couldn’t keep living like this. If I did, I’d never be able to return to The Shade.
I couldn’t imagine getting any worse than I already was, so I would have nothing to lose by joining Jeramiah’s clan… wherever that happened to be.
Navigating to a different shore than the last, I ventured back onto the beach. It was night, making it easier for me to slip in and out of the crowds unnoticed. This seemed to be a holiday resort. The beaches were teeming with people, even at this time of night. That was both advantageous and disadvantageous. There were plenty of people to choose from, but most were tightly packed in groups. I didn’t want to cause more commotion than I had to.
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