What was wrong with me? Lusting after both of them in a single day like this. And still I couldn’t stop staring into Seth’s pale eyes.
A loud screech cut through the moment, chair legs sliding on tile against their will. “I have to get back to work.” Ryan was on his feet. He only looked at me for a moment, jaw set. “Apparently, I’m not doing something right.”
The accusation in his tone pulled out my guilt. “I didn’t mean—”
“Yeah, you did.”
Damn it. I slouched in my chair. I knew his temper well enough to realize I couldn’t go after him right now. I looked at Seth again. “Can you pin him down long enough for me to apologize later?”
His smile vanished, too. His, “sure,” was flat.
Now what? I rolled the last few minutes through my thoughts, and while it was true I’d started to lash out at Seth, I’d reeled that in quickly.
And then, just as quickly as it had appeared, his sour expression evaporated. “You know I will. Besides, we’re going to that thing tonight. He’s not going to miss it, and you can apologize then.”
“Thing...?” We didn’t do stuff on Monday nights.
“OT?”
Original trilogy. That jogged my memory loose. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten about it. A local movie theater was doing screenings of the extended edition Star Wars movies, one a night, all week long. They were showing them in the order they’d been released, instead of in the order of the stories. The tickets had been expensive, so I’d had to pick which one I wanted to see. We’d agreed on Episode IV. Ryan had offered to pick up the rest for me, but I couldn’t let him do that. The reminder tugged in more guilt and confusion over what just happened.
Seth nudged me with his shoulder. “I can’t believe you forgot.”
“I guess I’m more distracted than I realized.”
He moved his chair even closer. “Turn. Back toward me.”
Curious, but not in any kind of mood to argue, I did what he said. When his fingers dug into my shoulders, a soft groan slipped from my throat.
“You need to chill.” His voice was soft. He kneaded away the tension. “You’re so tight.”
The innuendo-laden words, combined with his warm breath against the back of my neck, slid under my skin, and tempted me. When I closed my eyes, I could picture the vivid scene we’d painted on Friday night. Or better, I could wrap myself in what was happening now and take it a step further. Imagining his hands sliding lower. Cupping my breasts. Pinching my nipples through lace while he sucked on my shoulder.
Wetness pooled between my legs as his fingers dug deeper, and the fantasy grew more detailed.
I forced my eyes open and tried to pull away without jerking out of his touch. I couldn’t do this with either one of them. I couldn’t destroy friendships because I was daydreaming about guys who didn’t see me as anything more than a gaming buddy. I pushed back from the table. “I should get back. I have so much waiting for me.”
“No worries. I’ve got stuff to do too.” His smile looked forced. Or I wanted it to. I must be projecting. I knew from experience how horrible I was at reading men.
We were halfway back to the office, neither of us saying much of anything, when my stomach growled and reminded me I’d completely ignored my food. It was a tiny thing, but it was enough to pull all my frustration back to the surface. What was I going to do? About Seth and Ryan, about work, about money? About anything.
Chapter Four
When I got back to my desk, my work and cell phone showed twin missed calls. I would have suspected an overambitious bill collector, but there were voicemails to go along with them. It took me a minute to recognize the number, and my gut sank.
I dialed into my cell phone quickly, any thoughts of missed lunch evaporating as I listened to the message. My landlord wanted me to know she’d called to verify funds on my rent check, and was told I couldn’t cover it. I muttered every curse I knew as I wandered toward a more private part of the building, already calling my bank.
My balance was twenty-two cents? What the hell? Yes, to speak to a teller. I tried deep breaths to calm myself as the phone rang. It wasn’t a big deal. I’d find out it was a data entry error. My money was still there, right? My gut turned in on itself, already knowing better than my head that I wouldn’t be that lucky.
Someone finally answered, and I swear my heart leaped into my throat. I gave her my name and account number. “I need to find out what this twelve-hundred dollar withdrawal is on my checking account.”
“Sure, I can help with that.” Her cheer set my teeth on edge. Keys clacked over the phone, and she made a couple of “hmm” sounds. “Can I have you hold for a minute?”
“Uh, sure?”
She had to answer a question for someone else, right? It wasn’t anything to do with me. There was no hold music. Just a click that echoed over the line every fifteen seconds or so. Which, I decided after too many of them, was definitely worse.
“Natasha?” My chest almost exploded when she came back on the line. “Sorry about that. I had to double-check something.”
“Of course.” I couldn’t keep the strain from my voice. “Is everything all right?”
“It looks like the withdrawal is an electronic debit from a First Check Central.”
One of his post-dated checks. Shit. In the case of judgments, at least I got a warning, and lawyers tended to be easier to deal with than bill collectors, as long as I was willing to pay something.
But with the post-dated check places, since the check was the collateral, their contract allowed them to go directly to the bank account for their money if they didn’t get paid. I just hadn’t expected any of those loans to still be outstanding.
I wanted to scream and yell and toss out every vulgar word in existence. But it wasn’t her fault. Goddamn my ex. “Can you give me the number of who it came from?”
“Sure. But we can’t reverse the charge.”
“No, of course not. I understand.”
I scrambled to find a pen and paper in my purse, and wrote down the information she gave me. Panic welled up inside. I was broke, I didn’t get paid for almost two weeks, and my rent was already late. Did I have enough ramen and macaroni and cheese in the house to eat until payday?
I leaned against a nearby wall and forced myself to not lose it. Freaking out wasn’t going to help me. I grasped for strands of reason and broke the problem down logically. What bills could I shift to next paycheck?
Things would be tight, and I couldn’t eat out for a few weeks, but I could make the money balance. I could plead with my landlord. I could get an extension on my next car payment. Hopefully.
I made my way back to my desk, rolling the better parts of my plan over and over in my head, certain I could make this work. As long as I didn’t linger too long on the not so great bits of my idea—like missing a couple of meals and skipping the coffee—it felt like I had a solution.
I hadn’t even had a chance to sit yet when Mark poked his head out of his office and caught my eye. “You have a minute?”
Something told me I didn’t want to have this conversation. But it wasn’t as if I had a choice. My paycheck was the only thing keeping me from living on the streets, and even then only barely. Speaking of, I still needed to call my landlord. Beg her for more time. She was kind, but I also knew she was tired of my excuses.
The situation jumbled in my head as I made myself comfortable in Mark’s office. Solutions and problems and two weeks of cheap starch-for-meals taunted me. I had a jar of change, right? It had only been a couple of months since I cashed it out, but there were probably ten or twenty bucks of coins in there. I could buy oatmeal and some other basics.
“I need to know what’s happening with Zedophap.” Mark’s severe tone dragged me back to the now, and I realized the door was closed once again. Whatever this was, he didn’t want eavesdroppers.
At least I had an answer to this. Mostly. “I’ve got it under control,” I assured hi
m. “I know where the issue happened, and I’m putting steps in place to make sure we can resolve it and still meet our milestones.” My gaze drifted absentmindedly to a stack of papers on his desk. I tended to read whatever was there upside-down, just to see if it was interesting. It was a habit I always felt bad about, but had never managed to break.
This definitely ranked on the interesting scale. It was a copy of our configuration document, but not the one Ryan had handed to me. Even at a glance, I could tell it was so different from Ryan’s, there was no way things would have worked the way the client expected.
He nodded at his monitor, and the email on the screen. “I’m afraid it’s more serious than that.”
He had to be kidding me. Was this the universe’s day to shit on me? “How did we go from fine on the call this morning to more serious than just making things right?”
He shifted the papers around on his desk, sliding the curious document underneath other things, but not before I caught the name of a different business analyst up top. So odd.
“Their legal contacted us. They’re talking about arbitration and possible breach of contract.”
Whoa. That didn’t happen. Not in a single day for sure. People tossed the threat around all the time, but no one acted on it. “What do we do?”
“Do you know where the breakdown happened?”
“It was Ryan, but we’re fixing it.” The words tumbled out as I dug through my thoughts for solutions. “We can show them an updated timeline by the end of the day. If I talk to the data group, they’ll put in a couple extra hours to make sure the existing issues are fixed.” I hated to call in that kind of favor from Seth, but I knew he’d help me out. I’d have to owe him a drink. Sometime next year.
I just didn’t know why Ryan had so seriously dropped the ball. “No one’s losing their jobs, right?”
Mark’s face pinched. “I hope not. But your group isn’t the only team that’s had problems with this account. Marketing hasn’t delivered, the call center made promises they can’t possibly keep. You need to know how critical this is. And I should warn you, it’s not usually the ‘grunts’ who take the heat for things like this. Since you’re managing this part of the implementation, if layoffs happen...”
It would be my head on the chopping block. I didn’t need him to finish. “I get it. I’m on it, I promise.”
My feet felt like they were boxed in concrete as I trudged out of Mark’s office. I had a plan. I could make it all work. As long as I told myself that over and over, there was no room in my head for doubt.
Ryan looked up from his desk when I crossed the room, but I couldn’t meet his gaze. And I still needed to call my landlord. Damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit.
Chapter Five
I couldn’t get ahold of my landlord, so I left her a rambling, probably convoluted, explanation-apology-plea-for-forgiveness, and hoped for the best. Fortunately, we’d bought the Star Wars tickets months earlier. I considered scalping mine but decided instead to give myself one last luxury. I got to enjoy the show on the big screen, surrounded by fans who cheered when the opening text scrolled, and hushed the moment the THX logo grew quiet, the way Lucas intended.
By the time the movie ended, it was almost midnight, and most of the stress of the day had slipped to the back of my mind. I could deal with it all in the morning. There was nothing I could do before tomorrow except enjoy the night.
We stayed through the closing credits, and were some of the last people to leave the theater. My philosophy at the movies was if we had been in a rush, we wouldn’t be there. Waiting a couple extra minutes meant we didn’t have to fight traffic leaving the parking lot. Not that there would be much tonight. This had been the latest showing in the place, and while the theater had been packed, it was still just one out of twenty-four.
Our conversation was casual as we pushed out a side door, and more of my stress ebbed. Whatever weird tension had happened at lunch was in the past. We joked and talked as we made our way to the far corner of the parking lot. Seth liked to park way out there because...well, he said it was because it wouldn’t hurt us to walk. But I knew it was more because his BMW was his baby, and he felt like it was safer away from the other cars.
As we drew closer, the darkness closed in around us, and I realized the parking lot lights in the entire section were out. “Ooh, dark and creepy. What if there are bad things hiding in the shadows?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll protect you.” Ryan tossed an arm around my shoulder, his voice sliding into the same false bravado he used when he was playing his paladin.
It was just a friendly gesture, like so many hundreds he’d made before. But the part of my mind that had been out of control all day honed in on the warm contact. The familiar security and at the same time, bold assumption in the gesture. I was too drained from the day to completely suppress my response. I teased back, “What if you’re the big-bad I need protecting from?”
We’d reached the car, and there was no one else nearby. All the other filmgoers were parked far enough away their voices barely reached us. Even then, most of them were already gone.
“You’ve got a good point.” Seth grabbed my wrists loosely and tugged them behind my back. I could have broken away if I wanted, but the heat of his palms against my skin held me captive more than his grip. His hot words caressed the back of my neck. “It’s dark enough no one will see us.”
I didn’t want to hold back the fantasies. Need coursed through me, driving my response. “So what’s to stop you from taking advantage of the situation?”
Ryan stepped closer, pinning me between the two. “Only you.”
Hesitation wormed up inside. These were my two best friends. Even if I had been dreaming about Ryan yanking my hair and screwing me hard, or Seth sliding his fingers inside me, it didn’t mean I was willing to surrender our current bond over it. “I still have to look you in the eye in the morning.”
“That wasn’t a problem after Friday night.” Seth’s lips glided over my skin.
A whimper slipped from my throat, and my heart threatened to hammer out of my chest. “That was just a game.”
“So’s this.” Ryan traced a finger over my bottom lip, and my mouth parted at the sensation. “One where everyone wins, and then we go on with life the next day.”
“Say the word and we won’t play.” Seth’s thumb stroked the tender flesh on the inside of my arm.
Every inch of me ached for more. A kiss, a touch. Given how wet I was, if I shifted my weight, I’d slip and slide. Had they planned this? Did I care whether the moment was spontaneous? “Let’s play.”
Ryan pressed against me, and dipped his head. His teeth skittered along my throat and the hollow below. “I’ve been thinking, ever since Friday night.” He dropped his fingers below the waistband of my jeans enough to tease, but didn’t move lower. “How much I’d like to make that scene real. To fuck you hard and fast until you scream my name, while Seth watches, stroking his cock.”
Oh geez. My knees wobbled, but the two of them were pressed close enough they’d hold me up if I stumbled. I didn’t know which turned me on more. The thought of Ryan buried inside me, or the idea of being a private peep show for Seth.
“Still want to play?” Ryan’s fingers skated over the top of my hip, and I thrust toward his touch before I realized what I was doing.
I managed a breathy, “Yes.”
“You sure?” He gave me a wicked grin. “You’re not just being polite? How do I know you mean it?”
My panties were practically soaked; that was a reasonable indicator. I worked a hand free from Seth’s grip, and slid my fingers down the back of Ryan’s arm, nudging it lower. “Check for yourself.”
His hand moved down the front of my jeans, and I gasped when his fingers brushed my mound.
“You’re so wet.” He spread my pussy lips and dipped between. When he nudged my swollen clit, a shock of pleasure ripped through me. What if someone caught us? The idea heightened my arousa
l. We’d have to be careful.
With his free hand, he undid the button on my jeans and dragged down my zipper. He stroked my slit slowly, methodically, drawing near my aching sex, but not touching it again. I rocked my hips in time to the rhythm, pushing for more with each pass.
“So hot.” Seth’s breath caressed my skin. He let go of my other wrist, and slid his hands under my shirt. His rough palms against my bare stomach were another enticing point of contact. When he pushed one breast out of my bra, the sensation sparked across every inch of me. He tweaked my nipple and I pressed my ass back against him, grinding against his hard length. His groan mingled with mine when he rolled my pink nub between his fingers.
I found the bulge in Ryan’s jeans, and he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth when I stroked him through the rough fabric.
I inhaled sharply when he finally found my aching clit again. I rocked between the two as Seth pinched hard, and Ryan caressed. Every time I rolled toward the edge of climax, Ryan eased off. I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, and fixed a desperate gaze on him. “Please?” The word came out breathlessly.
He gave me a wicked grin. “Please what?”
“I’m so close,” I whimpered.
He caught my earlobe in his teeth, voice a low growl against my skin. “Beg me, Tash. Tell me what you want.”
I couldn’t say that. Not here. Even in the privacy of a house, I’d have a hard time with it. I shook my head.
“It’s easy,” he coaxed as he dragged his nose up the edge of my neck. His fingers dipped near my opening and then pulled away to tease my clit until my hips bucked, and he eased off again. “You don’t have to scream. That can wait until we get home.”
Oh gods, he had more in mind? The thought short-circuited my brain, and I pushed out the plea. “Please, Ryan. I’m so close. Let me come?”
He plunged his fingers inside me with a sudden thrust, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out. His thumb found my clit, and he rubbed hard and fast, drawing tight circles. Orgasm rolled through me, and I ground against his hand when I came. My legs wobbled, but I had been right, the two of them kept me upright.
Roll Against Trust (3d20, #1) Page 3