Yes, sure, Lissa was a sweetheart and she wanted the best for the people she cared about.
But Ryker didn’t do the whacked-out shit he’d done to make Lissa happy.
He did it because he liked me and he liked Merry.
And because, under all that muscle and crazy, he was a romantic.
This meant I had fodder for years to give him shit.
Which I did not find annoying at all.
“I’ve decided for my peace of mind to jump right from mildly annoyed to amused,” I answered.
“Probably a good call,” Merry murmured. His hand moved from my ass so he could wrap his arm around my waist as he said, “All that shit taken care of, you’re good to go home tomorrow.”
As crappy as I thought Merry’s condo was, this was disappointing.
I didn’t share that.
I just said, “Yeah.”
“That’s why I didn’t arrange a bed for Ethan. After tonight, he’ll be in his own,” Merry told me.
I nodded.
“Though, thinkin’ of cleanin’ out that junk room and setting it up,” Merry stated. “Just in case.”
More sleepovers.
And my kid was invited.
That made me giddy.
I hid it and just smiled, though I had a feeling my smile was super huge because it hurt my face.
Merry’s gaze dropped to it, his lips quirked, his eyes fired, and his arms gave me a squeeze.
Because he was Merry and pretty much perfect, he didn’t rub it in, but instead let it go and looked back to my eyes.
“During that talk with my dad today, he mentioned he wants us all over for dinner.”
I knew Dave Merrick. I liked Dave Merrick.
I liked it more he wanted me and my kid to come over with his son for dinner.
A whole lot more.
“Okay,” I whispered, cleared my throat and suggested, “Maybe he’d like to come to Ethan’s party.”
“No maybes about that.”
Oh yeah, I liked that. A possible grandpa for Ethan.
I liked that a whole lot.
“When we go to Dad’s, we’ll get Rocky and Tanner, invite your mom, and make it a family thing. You think Grace’ll be up for that?” Merry asked.
My mother might literally be up for that if she could manage to make a miracle and walk into Dave Merrick’s house, doing it how she was feeling—floating on air.
“Think I can talk her around to it,” I muttered.
Merry smiled at me.
I didn’t want to take that smile away, but I had to ask.
“You okay with Mia’s dad’s surprise visit?”
His fingers at my waist started stroking the skin there. “Not really. But he’s not as hardheaded as she is. I think he got my message. Whether he’s able to get it to sink in for her, no clue.”
I hoped he could. Except for the unknown of whether Peggy and Trent had something up their sleeve, or if they’d actually smartened up and were giving Ethan some space, Mia was the only wildcard we were dealing with.
“You think all the crap swirling around us will settle and we’ll find out what it’s like to be together when it’s just normal?” I asked.
“Wouldn’t know. Never had normal. But my guess is, normal is probably really fucking boring,” he answered.
That was a good answer because I wasn’t sure I had it in me to be normal. I’d also obviously never experienced it. But my guess, too, was normal was probably mind-numbingly boring.
I used my thumb to trace the beautiful column of his throat, saying softly, “Good you had that talk with your dad.”
“Yeah,” he replied softly, his blue eyes warm, but I could see it there. Actually, I saw it the minute he got home that night.
Something was missing, but something else had replaced it. And what was gone was bad, but what was in its place was not.
Now I knew what all that meant, what I saw in his eyes.
Relief and maybe even a little bit of contentment.
Like everything, Merry wore it well.
“Maybe good your dad had that talk with you too,” I suggested.
His fingers at my hip stopped moving and curled tight. “Not sure he’s ever gonna let go of the guilt, brown eyes.” He kept hold of my hip and my gaze. “But I am sure I now get why he won’t.”
My thumb stilled on his throat.
Was he saying…?
“Merry,” I whispered.
“He loved her. He lost her. He misses her. He took risks that meant the end of her life. He didn’t end it, and I think in some part of his head he gets that’s not his fault. But he couldn’t hold on to her as tight as he’s still holdin’ if he ever let that go. And I get that. I get that love he has for her. I get that need to hold on. I get it now.”
He got it now, holding me, staring at me.
Holy fuck.
“But yeah,” he kept going. “Even with that, you’re right. It was good for him we had that talk too.”
I didn’t push the other part, the part that made my heart pump fast, doing that shit still making it feel lighter.
I told him something I knew for certain.
“No matter how many years pass, it means something to a parent when their child needs them. At first, kids need you so much, all you want them to do is grow up so they can do things for themselves. Then you learn. You learn you should have savored every time they reached for you or called your name.”
Merry was still staring at me, but the look in his eyes had changed. There was a sweetness there that I liked a lot but had never seen.
Oh yeah.
If this worked, I was totally going to be able to talk him into kids.
Me, being me, not perfect but wanting to give Merry everything he needed, I didn’t push that.
But I did keep talking.
“You quit needing your dad in any real way a long time ago, honey. So I know for certain you going to him about something important meant everything to him.”
When I finished, his look turned darker but warmer, just as his arm tightened around my waist and pulled me up so our faces were closer.
“Ethan was pretty jazzed about that test and you pullin’ out the pistachio ice cream sundaes to wash away green bean residue,” he surprisingly remarked, considering I thought his look and movements were leading somewhere else. “Thinkin’ he’s out, but his sleep may be light.” He tipped his head on the pillow and the look that hit his eyes I felt in my womb. “Early morning date for the bathroom?”
Okay, so he was going where I thought he was leading.
It would just happen hours from now.
I forced my other arm from between us, shoving it around him so I could get closer, and replied, “Oh yeah.”
His hand in my hair twisted gently.
“Liked comin’ home to you and your boy, Cherie.”
Oh God.
God, God, God.
I liked that.
“Liked you doin’ it, Merry.”
And I did.
It was a dream come true, nearly literally, except in the dream I’d had, we were at my place.
But I had a feeling I was going to get that dream too.
“We’ll get you and your boy home tomorrow. But let’s set that up to happen more often, sweetheart,” he suggested.
Oh yeah.
I was going to get that dream too.
“Okay,” I agreed readily.
“Now, give me some gooey and we’ll get some shut-eye so I can wake you up early and fuck you.”
I melted into him and gave him the gooey. It turned into a mini make-out session, but neither of us pushed it far because my boy was probably sleeping lightly down the hall.
Merry turned out the light, I got under the covers, and we curled into each other, safe in his bed in the dark in his crappy condo.
But even if you’d offered me the world as a choice, I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else.
* * * * *
Early
Friday Morning
I bit the flesh of Merry’s shoulder when I came.
His deep groan sounded against the skin beneath my ear, driving down my neck, my chest, and right to my clit when he did.
Eventually, he dropped my leg that he was holding around his hip and I again felt the water hitting us.
Right. We were in the shower.
As my leg fell, he slid his cock out of me but kept his arms around me.
I turned my head his way to say something cocky or smartass, just to see him smile.
I didn’t get it out.
Because, early morning fuck in the shower done, my man felt like kissing me.
So I let him.
* * * * *
I stared at Merry and my kid leaning in to the counter on either side of Merry’s bar. Ethan was up on a stool on the outside; Merry was on his feet in the kitchen. Both were bent over their bowls, shoveling bright yellow, egg-cracker goo in their mouths.
And Merry was not gagging.
In fact, it appeared he liked it.
This fact made it clear that crap actually was dude food.
This was surprising enough.
The rest of what was happening shocked me silent.
“So, talk to your buds. Get their parents’ permission. Be ready at quarter to six. I’ll get you, swing ’round to pick them up, take you all for some grub, to the game, and drop them home after,” Merry stated.
“Cool,” Ethan grunted, shoving more egg goo in his mouth.
They were making a date.
Merry looked to me. “Before your shift, you wanna go to dinner with me and the boys?”
I was an afterthought.
Why did I think that was so fucking awesome?
“How ’bout I trade my own Merry time later for you havin’ a guys’ night tonight?” I suggested.
“Works for me,” Ethan said to his bowl.
Merry winked at me.
It worked for him too.
He turned away and recommenced eating.
“You on call this weekend?” Ethan asked his bowl.
“Nope,” Merry told his bowl.
“Waffle morning tomorrow?” Ethan asked.
I held my breath.
Merry’s gaze slid to me.
I nodded once.
His attention went back to his bowl before he answered, “Yup.”
“Cool,” Ethan grunted.
I watched and listened, my eyes feeling funny. They were stinging, but not because they were dry.
Merry straightened from the counter. “You finish that, bud. We gotta hit the road, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Ethan replied, scooping the last bite out of his bowl.
Merry headed my way.
I started to pull my shit together.
Since I was standing at his sink but was busy pulling my shit together, I didn’t move even as he got in my space, right in my space, looking down at me as he reached around and put the bowl in the sink.
I heard the bowl hit as his face dipped to mine.
“Dig dude food, brown eyes,” he said.
“You give me an egg-goo kiss, I’m gonna barf,” I replied.
He burst out laughing, but lucky for me, he stepped back before he did it.
I watched, enjoying every second.
Merry gave me a grin before he turned and strode through the living room, muttering, “Best go brush my teeth.”
Ethan jumped off his stool, declaring, “I’m gonna do that too.”
I blinked, then stared at my son.
He brushed his teeth by his own choice…never. Like I had to ride him to take a shower, I had to get on his ass to brush his teeth.
It seemed having Merry around wasn’t only good for orgasms and getting a variety of different kinds of warm and squishy.
It was good for a vast number of other things.
Fifteen minutes later, after getting a toothpaste-flavored good-bye kiss from my man and two different style waves from both my guys, they were gone.
I turned to the sink and cleaned up dude food.
* * * * *
Friday Evening
I walked into J&J’s for my shift and knew I was in for it.
This was because Colt was on his stool. Cal was standing by it. Mike was sitting on the stool next to where Cal was standing. Ryker was hanging close to Cal and Colt.
And Benny Bianchi was standing, leaned into the bar next to Mike.
Benny Bianchi was Joe Callahan’s cousin.
They might be cousins, but they were tight so they were more like brothers, and them being family couldn’t be missed.
Cal was sheer male beauty, marred by the hardness and heartbreak of the life he’d endured and the scars on his face. Though, both of these made him even hotter than he probably was back in the day before all that had happened.
Benny was just sheer male beauty. Very male. Very beautiful.
Like a movie star.
But better because he was real.
He was also taken, married to my girl Frankie, who’d lived in the ’burg for a spell, and when she’d lived there, we’d become friends.
She’d moved back to Chicago to be with Benny, who lived up there and owned a pizzeria.
His pizzeria was the bomb. I knew this because, since Frankie had moved away, I’d taken Ethan up there for several weekends, stayed with them, and discovered this fact.
Ben worked the pizzeria; Frankie had a sweet job where she made a shit-ton of money.
She also had the job of popping out babies for Benny. In their time together, which had not been much, they’d already had one and she was heavily pregnant now.
I knew this before I walked into the bar because she’d called me six months ago to tell me.
I knew this right then because the only good part of my current scenario was that she was also there, around the curve of the bar, in a girl huddle with Vi and Dusty. All three of them were on the outside of the bar, Feb and Dee were on the inside.
The chicks would take my back.
But the reason I knew I was in for it was because in all the years I had it bad for Merry, the only person who called me on it was Benny.
In fact, he’d done it the first night I’d met him.
He, Frankie, and me had gone out to have drinks. Merry had showed. Benny had sussed things out. They took me home, Benny walked me to my door, and he’d laid it out.
He was cool about it. He wasn’t a dick when he told me to soften up, and if I did, I’d open up enough to let a guy in, that guy being Merry.
I hadn’t taken his advice.
In the end, I didn’t need to. Merry and I finally got there, and looking back, even though Benny’s advice was solid and he’d given that advice to me a couple of years ago, years some might consider were wasted, I believed in my heart it had to happen this way.
Merry needed that time to travel his path how he needed to travel it.
I was just crazy-lucky it led to me.
But I knew, walking in the bar that night, that Benny knew I’d scored Merry.
And he had a dick, so no doubt he was going to give me shit about it.
“Do not say a fuckin’ word,” I warned the instant I got close to the gang.
His handsome, white smile got huge as his hand came up to his broad chest. “Me?”
“Just shut it,” I ordered.
“Cher!” Frankie cried, just having seen me.
She popped off her stool and rushed to me.
I stopped glaring at her husband and smiled at her, moving her way.
Frankie was one of those bitches who had the ultimate power—she could look all class showing skin, and for her, the tighter the dress, the higher the heel, the better.
She obviously didn’t change when she was pregnant. Great figure, big, beautiful belly, all encased in a long-sleeved, skintight dress that showed cleavage and had a skirt that hit her three inches up from her knees. And on her feet, six-inch platform stilettos.
She looked amazing.
We hugged.
“Cher hugging. Already, gettin’ laid regular is makin’ her a girl,” Colt remarked.
I let Frankie go and turned on Colt.
“I hug bitches I haven’t seen in months. Get over it.” I gave both Benny and Frankie a look. “And you guys have shit timing. Ethan’s birthday party isn’t until next weekend.”
“We know,” Frankie said. “We brought him a present. But I’ve still got that work thing I told you about happening next weekend, so we had to come down and celebrate Vi and Cal’s news this weekend. And anyway, we had to come to cut the crazy since Vinnie and Theresa are here too. The good news with that is that they’re lookin’ after the kids. A night out with my man, reconnecting with our posse in the ’burg, there is no bad news.”
Vinnie and Theresa were Benny’s parents. The whole family was Italian (or, in Frankie’s case, her being a mutt, only the dominant parts of her were Italian), so they could find a reason to celebrate the sun rising.
Even so, Vi was my girl and I had no idea what news they were celebrating.
But I could guess.
I looked her way and guessed.
“Are you knocked up again?”
Vi smiled and shrugged.
I did not give her shit for not telling me. I understood she was giving me time with Merry.
And anyway, this wasn’t big news. The bitch was always pregnant.
I looked to Cal. “Jesus. How many do you need?”
“One more after this,” he stated.
“No more after this,” Vi snapped.
Cal looked to his woman and grinned.
Vi looked to the ceiling.
Merry had told me his sister was also pregnant.
It was like it was contagious.
I turned my attention to Dusty. “You knocked up?”
“Not yet,” she said.
They were trying.
I figured Mike had the mojo the rest of them had, which meant he only had to look at his woman, think dirty thoughts, and she’d be carrying his kid. Thus, I figured that joyous news would be celebrated next week.
I looked to Feb.
“I love my little Jack, but I got a four-year-old, a dog, a cat, a bar, and an alpha male on my hands. I think I’m good,” she decreed.
My eyes went to Dee.
“I got two and Morrie, which makes it like I actually have five. I’m definitely good,” she shared.
“When are you and Merry gonna start?” Colt asked.
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