When Julie looked up at him, he was leaned against a framed out wall. His arms were crossed over his chest and his feet crossed at the ankles. A smile had widened when she looked at him.
“What?”
“You did just fine designing this.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t design it.”
He stood and walked toward her, taking the hard hat off of his head. “You didn’t even break the bank. You went for warmth.”
“A family home should have warmth.” She gulped back the buzz she was feeling from seeing the space in her head and him looking at her.
“I like seeing this softer side of you.”
Julie pursed her lips. “Are we done here? Will you take me back now?”
She turned to walk back out of the house, but he caught her arm. For a moment she hesitated before turning to look back at him.
“Why did you kiss me?”
This again? Was it going to be like this every day? She wasn’t really sure she had an answer to his question anymore.
“It was a mistake,” she said as he took the hat from her head. The inside of the hat caught strands of her hair and worked them loose from the knot at the back of her head.
She took her free hand and tucked them behind her ear, but his hand had moved from her arm to the base of her neck. He pulled the band from her hair and let it fall.
“That’s better,” he said freeing the hair with his fingers.
“Spencer,” her voice sounded weak. She didn’t want to be weak.
He set the hats on the floor and looked down at her again, this time without touching her.
“Why?”
“Why is it important?”
He took a small step toward her closing the gap between them. “Because I can’t sleep.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You say that too much,” he said as he lifted his fingers to her hair again and let them slip through the strands. “I’m not good company either.”
“Who told you that?” She forced herself to keep her eyes open as his other hand lifted to her hair.
“Tiffany.”
“Oh.” This wasn’t good. He was her boss now and he didn’t even like her. Was this a test? Was she supposed to knee him in the balls and run? Did he want her out of his life and he was using some reverse psychology on her? She’d heard what he’d said to his father on the phone in the hotel. He hated her. Wasn’t that the reason she’d actually come to Nashville? Perhaps if she didn’t have a job built on favors she wouldn’t be used as she had been in Oregon.
The kiss was a mistake—a need—a spontaneous moment of weakness when her world had fallen apart.
So what was he doing now? He was playing with her head and she didn’t like it—but even her own mind was playing games now.
She hated that having him touch her excited her. Just like that night she gambled everything and kissed him in the elevator.
“Maybe we should try this. I know why I’m going to kiss you,” he said a beat before he cupped her face in his hands and then pressed his warm lips to hers.
His eyes closed and a moment later so did hers. This was crazy, but she couldn’t stop herself. His mouth moved against hers and she wanted to take—to taste—to feel.
Her hands came to his chest as his tongue slipped through her lips to find hers and entangle it in a hot dance that ignited the senses down to her belly.
Spencer’s hands slid over her shoulders and down her back pulling her even closer.
A moan escaped her as he pulled her even closer yet so that she could feel his heart pounding against her fingertips.
This was wrong. This was so wrong. But still, she didn’t have the power to move away. She wanted to take until there was nothing left. She just wanted to feel desired and Spencer made her feel that way.
When his lips moved from hers, she was still wrapped tightly in his arms. His forehead pressed to hers.
“I kissed you because I couldn’t stand not to anymore,” he said with his breath escaping him as quickly as hers was.
“We can’t do this.”
“Why did you kiss me?” he asked again brushing his lips over hers.
“I needed to feel.”
He brought his hand to her cheek and brushed his thumb across her skin. “Feel what?”
“Wanted.”
Spencer brought his mouth to hers and this time she wrapped her arms around his neck and let herself feel everything—and wanted.
Perhaps it was that Julie had her eyes closed so tightly, but the house seemed darker now as she let Spencer hold her in the dusty frame of the kitchen—in the diffused light of the day.
“This isn’t safe,” she said and her voice shook.
“Safe?” He pulled her back at arms length. “What do you mean?”
She broke from him, pushing her hair back behind her shoulders.
“You’re my boss.”
He laughed easily.
Julie gritted her teeth and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you laughing? This isn’t funny.”
He reached for her hands and held them in his, raising them to his lips to kiss her fingers. “My dad married his assistant and so did Ed.”
Julie shook her head and pulled away. “I’m not marrying you.”
“I didn’t say you were.” He picked up the hard hats. “I didn’t mean to push you. I just…”
“You didn’t.” She looked up at him. “I’ve been thinking of that since I kissed you in the elevator and you didn’t push me away.”
“Why would I?”
“Because you detest me.” She pulled in a breath and locked eyes with him. “I heard your phone conversation with your father that day at the hotel. I know what you think about me.”
He stepped back and raked his fingers through his hair. She knew he was frustrated, that was one of his tells.
The only problem was, the more tunneled his hair was, the more appealing he became to her.
“Oh, Julie…”
“It’s just better if we learn to work together and not do this. It was a mistake for me to ever kiss you.”
She headed toward the door and he followed.
Spencer set the hats on the bench and locked the door behind them.
They were silent walking back to the trailer. He unlocked the door, she gathered her things, and he locked it back up. He opened the car door for her and she slipped into his car, her hands trembling around the strap of her bag.
Spencer took a few seconds to make his way around the car, cursing at himself for—well, for everything. Why did he even think she didn’t know how he talked about her? He was honest about it, but to know she’d heard him, that was worse.
Of course, she’d still come to Nashville looking to him for a job. Why would she have done that if…
He pulled open his door and climbed in.
Before starting the car he gripped tightly to the steering wheel. “There is no way to take back what I said. I wasn’t raised like that.” He sighed. “You deserve so much better.”
“Take me home,” her voice quivered on the edge of breaking.
“One more question.” He saw her shoulders drop so he started the engine. “If you heard me say that, why did you come here looking for a job? Why would you want to?” The words echoed the disappointment he felt in himself.
“I don’t want to talk. I just want to go home.”
Now he heard the tears that strained in her voice.
Spencer pulled away from the site and drove her home without another word.
When he pulled up in front of the house he turned off the car and got out before she could get her door open, gather her bag, and step on the ground.
He opened her door and held out his hand.
Reluctantly, she took it and then let out a long breath.
“My car is in town. How did I forget that?” Her voice was soft, sad, and full of regret.
“I’ll pick you up in the morning.”
She s
hook her head. “I’ll take the bus.”
“I could send a car,” he bargained and her eyes finally lifted.
“I’ll wait for you, but then never again.”
She started past him, but he couldn’t let her go like that.
“Julie,” he called and she stopped, but she didn’t turn. He’d take what she gave. “I never meant to hurt you. And for what it’s worth, I care about you.”
She swung her bag over her shoulder and walked toward the side of the house and disappeared.
Spencer waited a few more moments before getting into his car and driving home.
It had never occurred to him that she’d overheard his conversation, but then again, a week ago he didn’t care. Given the opportunity he wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t have told her to her face. Hadn’t he even contemplated making her one of the first people he laid off in a year?
Now he cared as he rode the elevator up to his lonely penthouse suite.
As he stepped inside, the coldness of it swept over him. White marble floors. White walls with Art Deco pieces adorning it. He stepped into the kitchen with its shiny black countertops and set down his keys.
Spencer opened the refrigerator, pushed the bottle of beer to the side, and reached for a bottle of water. He opened it and chugged it down.
The sky was orange outside his window. He walked toward the balcony that looked out over the east side of Nashville. The streetlights had turned on and the neon blazed on familiar landmarks, and the hue of the sunset blanketed the city.
She was out there missing the sight. Buried in her basement apartment, she was missing Nashville being tucked in for the evening.
Spencer sipped again and tried to clear his mind. Julie wouldn’t be in Nashville if she hadn’t wanted to be with him. There was no good logic behind why she’d make such a trip and ask for a job. She could have buried herself away in another job in Oregon, where she could have still practiced law. Why hadn’t she gone for the warm sands of Southern California?
No, she’d driven straight to Nashville without anything and landed in his office. His office.
He walked through the apartment to his bedroom and stopped. The flat paint of the gray walls dimmed the room. The mirrors on the wall of closets only made the dim look larger.
Even the comforter on his bed was gray and white to accent the glass top and metal on the handles of his dresser where he set down his bottle of water.
Suddenly the penthouse wasn’t so appealing. What was appealing were Julie’s eyes when she spoke of countertops and flooring. How she told him one thing in the trailer when the budget was skies the limit and then changed when she stepped into a house that a family would someday own.
She had an eye for comfort.
The thought struck him.
He’d been her comfort.
Spencer sat down on the edge of his bed and untied his shoes, which he’d usually have left by the door since he’d walked on site with them. The dust and sand dulled them he’d noticed as he set them on the cold floor.
For five months, he had been her focus. For five months, he had been the one in discussions with her every day. On the last day she walked into the boardroom he had moved to help her pick up the papers she’d dropped when no one else in that room had moved. And it had been him who rode the elevator that night to make sure she was okay, passing his floor and taking his time to focus on her.
He scrubbed his hands over his face, now whiskered under his fingers. Pressing his lips together, he thought of their kiss. That deep, warm, pressing of tender skin kiss that even now made his head swim and body ache for her.
This wasn’t over, he thought as he stood to pull a set of lounge pants from the drawer in the dresser. For as long as Spencer Benson could remember, he got what he wanted.
He wanted Julie Jacobson and she wouldn’t be in Nashville if she didn’t want him—no matter how much she was pushing in the opposite direction. He wanted her in his business, in his life, in his apartment—he sucked in the air to fill his lungs and steady his head and heart—he wanted her.
~*~
Julie had packed, unpacked, repacked, and was unpacking her suitcase again. It had been a mistake to run to Nashville. What had she been thinking?
She sat on her bed and buried her face in her hands.
She hadn’t been thinking—not clearly.
Pain had ripped through her when she’d seen Steven and Libby together tangled in her sheets in her bed. Anger had coursed through her when Libby confronted her about it. Mourning the loss of her marriage had her toppling over papers in that boardroom and acting foolish in the elevator when she’d kissed Spencer.
But she couldn’t help herself.
In the five months she dragged out those negotiations, it had been his steely look at her that made her know there was a place for her. Sure, she’d stalled, but in the end, he bought a strong company and the Grayson family knew their company was in good hands.
Something still didn’t add up, but she’d never been able to put her finger on it. Sure she’d stalled at the original request of Libby Grayson, before she’d found her in her bed, but then things began to happen at PLL that she couldn’t explain.
She knew someone had been messing with her files and her computer, but nothing more than her over organized gut feeling. She wasn’t known for misplacing things and yet since the beginning of negotiations with BBH she misplaced a handful of documents and even files in her computer. She had to make sure both Spencer and the Graysons were equally protected.
Seriously she thought she’d lost her mind a time or two.
Perhaps in the back of her head she knew something was going on with her husband and it made her lose focus. The late nights, when they worked in the same office. The phone calls he’d dismiss himself for. The missed birthday she’d never mentioned, but that hurt most of all.
Why she was blindsided by his infidelity, again, was beyond her. Perhaps she thought if they were in the same office it wouldn’t happen again.
How stupid was that? If it happened once, twice, it was going to happen again. She’d been the fool to stick around any longer than she needed. The past five months with her husband near her while they worked through their divorce and Spencer there fighting her all the way had been a mix of hell and passion for what she did well.
What did it matter? She was now seated in the BBH family. She could protect the Bensons if something was happening.
She just hadn’t thought she’d fall for the man who hated her. That truly hadn’t been the plan. He was supposed to be her safe haven. He was chance at a new start in the industry away from the favor granting Graysons, who had stabbed her in the back. Away from her ex-husband and his greed.
Julie fell backward on the bed and closed her eyes.
She replayed his hands in her hair—on her skin. Even the memory of his kiss swam in her head like a cloud of pure pleasure.
Was it so bad that he’d had a change of heart?
Was it horrible to wish she hadn’t stopped him?
Julie rolled over and let a muffled scream fly into the mattress. It was all so frustrating.
She rested her forehead on her hands and just lay silent and still for a moment considering everything from the past five months to the past week.
Opportunity lay at her feet in a new way. Law consumed so much of her, but the simple task of setting up her desk and just keeping track of the builds was calming. Sure, she knew issues would arise. After all, it had only been one day. But she was in love with her minimal space on the other side of the movable wall from Chuck—who burped when he thought no one could hear and cursed like a sailor under his breath when he went over plans by himself.
Every job came with the hesitation that she’d fail at it. What if Tiffany wasn’t as nice as she seemed to be. And that too—what if she didn’t like Julie kissing Spencer? That was a tangled web she should stay away from, but she couldn’t help it.
Now her biggest fear was that she wa
s falling for the man out of desperation to be wanted. However, no kiss from her husband had ever sizzled in her or tasted so good. She’d kissed Spencer Benson in that elevator because she’d needed to and now no amount of talking herself out of what she’d done could take it away. She’d fallen for him. She just didn’t want to hurt him by making him a rebound for her broken heart.
Chapter Eleven
The house looked quiet, Spencer thought as he pulled up to the curb early Tuesday morning. He had assumed he’d see Avery dancing in the front window, but he didn’t.
He’d bought her one of those damn vanilla lattes she liked so he’d be waking her up.
With the cardboard cup holder in his hand, he walked up the front steps and started his assault on the doorbell.
From inside he could hear her stumbling over things and he laughed. Served her right for not getting up like a normal person.
When the door swung open Pete stood there in rumpled clothes. He rubbed his hair and then ran his hand over his unshaven cheeks.
“Spence, hi,” he said with his voice groggy.
“You’re not who I expected. Sorry for the rude awakening.”
“Right. Right.” He shook his head to obviously try and wake himself. “Come in. Sorry.” He stepped back and Spencer walked through.
From the look of the couch, that was where Pete had slept. Not unusual, he thought. Avery was too stupid and stubborn to let him sleep with her. The man was a saint to just hang around and wait for her to come to her senses.
The thought caught him off guard as humorous. Maybe they weren’t meant for each other. After all, Avery’s mother chased Spencer’s father from the time they were seven until Spencer’s father married his mother. It was only then she fell in love with Avery’s father—his mother’s brother.
“What’s so funny?” Pete asked as he shut the door and walked toward the couch. He picked up the blanket and began to fold it.
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