by L.H. Cosway
The Eiffel Tower was all lit up on the other side of the Seine, glowing gold against the night sky. The setting would be terribly romantic if it weren’t for the gang of hobos hanging out by one of the benches drinking cans of beer. I guess nothing was ever as charming as it appeared on TV.
Trev guided me over to the grassy area to sit. He threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled out his phone to snap a selfie. I managed to plaster on a smile just in time and he immediately uploaded it to Instagram with the caption, “Having a great time in Paris with my bestie.”
“Hey. That was a sneak attack.”
“Lee’s been hassling me to post pictures. This should keep him happy for a few more days.”
I laughed, because that did sound like Lee. “Your brother’s like a mother hen sometimes.”
“Don’t get me started. I have to check in with him every morning or else he’s hounding me to see if I’m okay.”
“He just loves you.”
“He thinks I’m gonna fall off the wagon.”
I eyed him closely. “Is he right to be worried?”
“’Course not. I feel more balanced now than I have in a long time, probably ever,” he said, but there was something in his expression that made me sense he was holding back. That maybe he was making it all sound a lot simpler than it actually was.
“So, the new medication’s working?” I asked tentatively. We still hadn’t spoken much about it, but I knew Trev was comfortable enough to tell me to back off if he felt I was prying.
“It’s helping, but it’s not a cure-all. I’ve actually been doing CBT and I find that works best.”
“CBT?” I tilted my head curiously.
“Cognitive behavioural therapy. I have sessions every week with my doctor,” he explained, and I remembered Leanne mentioning something about that before.
“Oh,” I said, several thoughts churning around in my head. “And it helps?”
“If it didn’t I’d be eyeing those fountains right now and considering jumping into them, so yeah, it definitely helps.”
I laughed because right as he said it, Callum and Leanne began play fighting by the water’s edge, both trying to push the other in. We watched them for a minute. All three of the film crew were capturing their antics. Paul and Isaac walked the perimeter of the square, snapping pictures on Paul’s phone.
There was something I needed to ask Trev, and although he was calmer and making better emotional decisions, I still hesitated to break the comfort we currently shared. I’d hidden so much of my feelings from him years ago, and that had probably, in hindsight, been a good decision. But now? Now as we were moving back toward a new friendship? Now required honesty and backbone from me.
“Do you remember the evening when Alexis called you because I was upset, and you showed up at my flat to comfort me?” I asked, breaking the quiet.
Trev’s shoulder brushed mine as he responded tightly. “Yeah, I remember.”
I swallowed and continued, “If you’d been in therapy back then, do you think you still would’ve left me like you did?”
It only took him a beat to answer. His fingers came to my chin, turning my face to meet his gaze. “Reya, if I knew then what I know now, I would’ve quit the entire show just to stay with you.”
My breathing quickened, as did my heart rate. Did he really mean that? “But . . . but it was the opportunity of a lifetime.”
“No, it wasn’t. Sure, I’m much better off money wise, but I’ve come to learn that jobs and wealth and possessions aren’t opportunities, not the ones that really matter. People are. We spend so much time striving for status that we don’t realise it’s the people in our lives that bring us real happiness.”
I was a little speechless. Valuing opportunity over people was what ultimately ended our relationship. Was he saying what I thought he was? Was he telling me he regretted his actions, leaving me in the lurch for days on end and being impossible to contact?
I stared at him. My eyes traced the strong line of his jaw, his almost translucent blue eyes, his full lips that were somehow still manly. Words tumbled out of my mouth in Spanish before I had a chance to censor them.
“Creo que nunca tuve otra opción más que amarte.”
I never had any other choice but to love you, did I?
He tore his attention away from the view and glanced at me with affection. “Pretty as that sounded, I didn’t understand a word.”
Yes, Trev, that’s exactly the point. “I know. Sorry.”
His attention went to my lips for a second. “What did you say?”
I hesitated a moment, then lied, “I said it’s a beautiful night and I’m glad I came on this trip.”
His mouth curved into a tender smile. “I’m glad you came, too.”
We both turned our attentions back to the view and I was lost in thought. A jolt shook me when I remembered I was wearing a microphone. We both were. Our whole conversation had been recorded, but the cameras weren’t on us so they likely couldn’t use it anyway. Still, we’d revealed a little too much. I’d revealed a little too much, especially if there was anyone in the editing room who understood Spanish. I should’ve known better than to drink tequila. It always made me loose-lipped.
A squeal rang out and I looked ahead to see Callum had finally manoeuvred Leanne into the water. She stood under a fountain, her clothes and hair drenched, just as Paul crept up behind Callum and pushed him in, too.
“You little wanker,” Callum shouted as Paul bent over laughing.
“Instant karma, baby,” Paul shot back triumphantly.
Callum charged forward, grabbed Paul at the waist and pulled him into the water with them. Lots of splashing and yelling ensued.
I chuckled and Trev grinned wickedly. “You want to join them, don’t you?”
“What? No,” I lied.
“Come on, Reya, if you can’t jump into a water fountain in Paris then where can you do it?”
“Man, you’re going to use that reasoning for everything while we’re here, aren’t you?”
His grin widened. It was kinda sexy. “Sure am.”
“I’ll only jump in if you do, too.”
Trev shook his head. “Nah, I’m a reformed character, remember? I’m only here to watch.”
Why did that statement make my mind go to dirty places? I nudged him with my shoulder. “If you jump in with me I’ll cook pancakes for breakfast.”
Dimples dotted his cheeks. “Oh, you drive a hard bargain, Miss Cabrera. You know pancakes are my favourite.”
“So, what’s it gonna be?”
He let out a theatrical sigh. “Fine. But only because you asked so nicely. And only because I can’t resist your pancakes.”
I stood and dusted the grass from my dress, then held my hand out to him. “Nobody can. I’m writing a new song. It’s called ‘My Pancakes Bring All the Boys to the Yard.’”
Trev took my hand and I pulled him up. “So pancakes are a euphemism for . . .” He paused and ran his eyes slowly over my body. Prickles tugged at my insides. “Cuddles and hugs?”
I barked a laugh. “Yep. I give the best cuddles and hugs in all of London.”
His voice dipped low, but it was still playful. “I think I remember.”
His deep tone had me swallowing down a lump of desire. Memories flooded my head. When we reached the water, Leanne, Callum and Paul were soaked to the skin, playing a game of who can splash the other one more.
“Is it cold?” I called out, slipping off my heels.
“Yeah, but you get used to it,” Leanne called back as she dodged a spray of water from Callum.
“Get in,” Paul shouted. “Live a little.”
Isaac watched from the other side of the fountain, his features a picture of amused befuddlement.
I shot a glance at Jimbo. “Are the mics waterproof?” He gave me a thumbs up. Well, hell, it looked like I really was doing this.
Trev took my hand in his. “On the count of three?”
&nbs
p; I nodded. “One, two, thre—”
Before I could get the last word out, Trev pulled me into the water and I gasped from the cold. He lifted me up and flung me over his shoulder, then ran under one of the fountains. I yelped when the water hit my scalp, soaking my entire body in seconds.
“Let me down,” I begged, struggling under his hold while he chuckled his amusement.
He loosened his grip and allowed me to slide down his body. My dress was plastered to my skin and it was a good thing the fabric was dark, otherwise everyone would be able to see everything. Still, every single contour of my body showed and I trembled at the way Trev’s gaze devoured the soaked fabric that clung to my chest.
He stared down at me, his wet hair hanging over his forehead. “So, was it worth it?” he asked throatily, holding me to him.
“Not sure yet,” I said and moved out of his grasp. I very slowly bent down into the water, spread out my palms then sprung up, showering him with liquid spray. “Now it was worth it,” I said, chuckling as he shook the wetness off like a dog. Specks of water flew at me and I turned to dive out of the way.
A second later he caught me from behind and I was instantly aware of the hardness in his pants. I shivered, my wet skin beading with goose pimples.
“I’ll get you back for that,” he threatened quietly right before a flashlight shone on us and somebody started shouting in French.
“Oh fuck,” Callum swore. “Come on, come on. Let’s go!”
Trev swept me out of the water just as I spotted the policemen hurrying toward us. I grabbed my heels off the grass while Trev took my hand and we ran. We didn’t stop until we were on a busy street and people were looking at us funny. Obviously, because we were soaking wet.
Callum, Isaac and Leanne were just a few yards ahead of us, and Paul and the others were bringing up the rear. There was no sign of the police, so I hoped they’d given up their chase.
“That was a close call,” I said, out of breath and shaking from the cold. I bent to slide my heels back on and Trev held my arm to keep me from tipping over.
“Thank fuck we lost them,” said Callum, standing by the kerb and looking back the way we came.
“I’m starving, let’s get food,” Leanne complained, holding her arms around herself.
“We should go back to the apartment and have something there. We can’t go anywhere in this state,” Trev pointed out.
“I’m sure there’s a burger bar somewhere that’ll let us in,” Callum disagreed.
Once the group was together, we traipsed down the street in search of a restaurant. Trev threw his arm around my shoulders, and though he was wet, too, I welcomed the warmth.
In the end, we found a McDonald’s. It felt a little sacrilegious to be eating McDonald’s while in Paris, but we were all too hungry to care at that point. Jimbo and the camera crew seemed to have clocked off, because they ordered food instead of filming us. I guessed they’d caught enough action for one night. Karla was going to flip when she saw the events of this episode, especially if they featured all the interaction between Callum and Leanne. I smiled fondly just thinking of her reaction.
“You okay?” Trev asked, studying my expression.
I swallowed a bite of my Big Mac and nodded. “Yeah, I just miss Karla. I was thinking of how much she’s going to love the new series.”
Trev shot me an indulgent smile. “We haven’t even gotten started yet.”
“Yeah, wait until you see what we’ve got planned for tomorrow,” Callum added.
My interest was piqued. I knew the name of the location because I’d helped Neil with some of the scheduling, but I had no idea where it was or what it looked like.
“What’s happening tomorrow?” I asked, excited.
Trev reached over to pinch my cheek. “Like Cal said, just you wait and see.”
Eighteen.
By the time we got back to the apartment it was almost two in the morning. We were still giddy and laughing about getting chased by policemen and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d such a fun and unreservedly spontaneous night. It didn’t surprise me that I liked being around Trev and his friends this much. Their energy and joie de vivre was half the reason I’d agreed to come on the trip. Each of them in their own way made me feel like the world could be my oyster if I only had the courage to go out and grab it.
They were unapologetic in their enjoyment of life, whereas I was constantly apologising for things that weren’t even my fault. Maybe it was because of how things ended with my family. Maybe I’d always feel to blame for things because they programmed me that way.
I shook myself out of my sombre thoughts. Because no matter how scarred I was by my parents and their repudiation, I knew I was better for it in the long run. I’d rather live life alone than live a lie.
Trev followed me down the hall to my room. His cool fingers swept over the back of my neck and effectively erased any gloomy reflections. “Make sure you shower before you go to bed, otherwise you might get sick,” he murmured.
I wriggled in my wet clothes, which felt horrible and clammy now that they’d dried a little. The fabric stuck to my body like plaster. “Oh, I have every intention. Next time I look like I want to jump into a water fountain, don’t encourage me,” I said, wagging a playful finger at him.
“But I like it when you’re the wild one,” he argued, eyes twinkling. In the past, he’d always been the reckless one, while I was the voice of reason. Cautious. Mature. Safe.
I hated being so entrenched in fears, because fear was what made us act like grown-ups, wasn’t it? Fear of being judged. Fear of losing control. Fear of being punished for breaking the rules. Fear of being rejected.
I didn’t know how much I craved freedom until this exact moment.
I walked into my room, slipping off my shoes while Trev stood in the doorway. Eyeing him bravely, I asked, “Oh yeah?”
“You have this glow when you let loose.”
You glow all the time, I wanted to reply, but I still wasn’t reckless enough for that. Instead I went with, “I like letting loose.”
A smile tugged at his lips. “You should. It suits you.”
The way he looked at me made me feel like being wicked. Just a little bit. Reaching for the hem of my dress, I said, “I need to get out of these clothes.”
Trev swallowed roughly, suddenly quiet, as I lifted the dress up over my head and pulled it off. I stood in just my bra and knickers, fully aware that my damp bra meant he could see my nipples poking through.
“Hmm, that’s better,” I said with an over-exaggerated sigh of pleasure.
Trev’s gaze started at my bare feet, travelled up my legs, lingered on my thighs and hips, stomach and breasts, before coming to rest on my eyes. He braced himself where he stood, arms outspread as he gripped either side of the doorframe. He seemed to be having an internal struggle when he tore his eyes from mine to stare at the floor for a minute. When he looked back up his expression was fierce.
“Invite me in.”
His plea made me feel powerful, a foreign sensation. With Trev, I’d always felt needy and weak, grateful and eager for whatever bit of attention he decided to bestow upon me. Maybe it was the tequila, or maybe it was just the night itself, but I enjoyed the power shift. Probably a little too much.
I smiled at him wickedly, and slowly, seductively, walked toward him, closing the few feet of space between us. I sent him a hot, sexy look and he let out a shaky sigh. Then I reached out, grabbed the door handle and slowly closed it over.
“Goodnight, Trevor,” I said sweetly, allowing him one last look at me before the door clicked shut.
I smiled happily when I heard him thump his head against the wood. He let out a sound that was half groan, half-amused chuckle, before he replied, “Goodnight, Reya.”
The following morning, I woke up hangover free. Thank you, tequila. Wine gave me hangovers. For some reason, tequila didn’t. I still felt tired though, the previous evening’s excitement had take
n its toll on my body, and the group had a full day of filming ahead of them.
I wondered why Barry hadn’t argued against them going out. Then again, the crew had captured some highly entertaining footage, so maybe he considered the hangovers worth it.
Leanne’s bed was messy but empty on the other side of the room. I heard water running and guessed she was in the shower. The floor was scattered with mud and grass, as were the heels I wore last night. They lay haphazardly at the foot of my bed, a casualty of the previous evening.
A knock sounded on the door before Trev’s voice crooned, “I do believe I’m owed some pancakes, Reya dearest.”
I smiled, then remembered my out-of-character striptease. What the hell had gotten into me? I shook my head, determined not to be embarrassed, even though the memory of Trev’s hot stare still sent tremors down my spine.
“Give me a minute to wake up properly and then I’ll make your bloody pancakes,” I called back. God, I was tired.
I heard him chuckle as he continued down the hall. Once I was dressed I made pancakes for everyone. I figured it factored into my PA duties to keep the group well fed. Trev stared at me with this knowing grin all through breakfast, like he was remembering me in my underwear in vivid detail. I just shook my head at his typical boy behaviour, while at the same time, I sensed the energy shifting between us. Our conversation last night brought me closer to understanding him and the changes he was making in his life. And there was no denying those changes were a positive thing.
“Did this used to be a train track or something?” I asked Neil.
“Yep. I think it got refurbished back in the nineties but don’t quote me on that,” he answered as we stared at the impressive structure.
We were at the Viaduc Des Arts, the location for the day’s filming. It was an old red-brick viaduct, consisting of a long row of arches under what used to be a train track. Now it was a public garden, surrounded by apartments, fancy cafes and shops. It was pretty high up, which I guessed was why they selected it for the show.
Trev approached me from behind while I finalised the group’s lunch order on my phone. “You’re wearing jeans,” he murmured accusingly, like it was a crime or something.