by Nana Malone
“Caleb, I-I don’t—” Her voice broke. Oh goddamn it, she would not cry. When the fuck had she becomes one of those weepy women?
“Shit, Micha.” He reached for her.
She pulled back. She didn’t dare let him touch her. If he did, then she’d let him hold her and comfort her, and then she’d go on believing what she’d seen in his eyes, and she knew better. Get gone, kid. Put distance between you and Casanova. In the morning, you’ll be more clearheaded.
“Don’t.” The lights flickered back to full brightness, and she quickly readjusted her clothing and slipped her shoes back on. At least the power was back. Now she could escape.
He dragged his hands through his hair, concern etched on his face. “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I don’t know how the fuck that happened.” He stared at the shoulder strap of her dress which now flopped over, threatening to expose her breast.
Jesus. They’d gone at each other like caged lions. His tie was on the floor with his jacket. She met his gaze again. When she saw the apology there, she straightened her back. “Look we’re both grownups, and well, that, uhm happened. It was a momentary slip. We won’t be doing that again.”
Micha’s whole body shook as her brain desperately tried to make sense out of what she’d done. With Caleb. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t do anything to quiet the churning emotions.
Through a hazy fog of panic, she heard him calling her name. Heard the concern in his voice. But she couldn’t respond. Her body was too frozen for movement. Her brain’s commands rattled around her head. Flee. Run. Get the hell out. But she was powerless. Rooted.
He raised a dark eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”
Micha tilted her chin up. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Because, judging by the way you went off like a cannon while I sucked on you, we aren’t going to be able to stay away from each other. You really plan on pretending this didn’t happen?”
Her eyes burned with unshed tears, and she reached for the one emotion she could count on. Anger. “It happened, but it won’t happen again. Ricca and Jaya are the only family I have. This goes sideways—and it will—they have no choice but to side with their men. I’m not losing my family because I have the hots for some guy.” They wouldn’t mean to, but they would abandon her.
He grinned. “The hots, huh?”
“Can it, Atkins.”
He shrugged. “Whatever you say.”
“As soon as we hit the lobby, we’re going to go back to the party and our dates. Then I’m going to go home and have a bath—alone.” In case he had any lingering doubts.
“Feel free to do that, sweetheart.” He bent and scooped her lacey red thong off the floor. “You can feel free to push this thing between us under a rug all you want and pretend it never happened, but I’m going to hold onto these.”
Micha reached for her torn thong, but he snatched it out of her way.
“Oh, no you don’t.” He met her gaze again, all teasing gone. “You’re sure this is the way you want this to go?”
She nodded her head once.
“C’mon, let me take you home, and we can talk.”
Talk? He wanted to talk. Hell. He wanted to discuss what the hell had just happened. Yeah. Right. “No.”
“Look, it doesn’t have to—”
So not going to happen. Not by a long shot.
The doors opened, and she deftly avoided his grasp. Micha wrapped the feather boa around herself after she re-hooked her strap then booked it out of there, dragging an invisible wall of distance between them. Without a backward glance, she ran. With her heels on, she didn’t make much headway, but the moment she slipped them off, she made a good clip. Other party-goers roamed the lobby, trying to figure out their clues.
Micha ran blindly, shoes in hand. Away from Caleb, away from the nightmares of her past. She would not look at him. Could not look at him. Not with that box closing in on her. Distantly, she heard Jaya’s voice, then Ricca’s.
There was the distinct chatter surrounding her, but she couldn’t make anything out. Her heart hammered so hard she thought her chest would explode. Her breathing came in sharp, ragged draws. Shit. She needed to get out of sight for a minute. If she could calm down, she’d be fine.
Then she’d get in a cab and go home. Crawl under the covers and forget. But she needed to calm the fuck down first.
She plowed into the first stairwell and collapsed onto the third step. With her elbows on her knees, she covered her face and tried to remember all the stupid breathing exercises that long-ago shrink had taught her. Breathe in for three. Breathe out for three. From the diaphragm. Breathe in for three, breathe out for three.
Slowly, her breathing became less ragged. But her heart was still in full gallop mode.
When the heavy fire door burst open, she jumped and glared at the intruders. Ricca and Jaya crowded the entrance, their expressions masks of concern and fear. They took one look at her face and immediately ran in, crowding her.
“What happened?” Jaya asked.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Ricca soothed, then added, “Does this have anything to do with why you’ve been acting so crazy? And what happened at our, uhm, workout?” Ricca narrowly avoided ruining Jaya’s surprise.
Jaya stared at Micha then at Ricca and back again. “Wait, this has happened before?”
Micha gazed up at her friends through bleary eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. They were caught behind the lump in her throat.
Ricca rubbed Micha’s knee. “It’s all right. Whatever it is, we’re here. There’s nothing that the three of us can’t handle. But we need you to talk to us. What’s going on with you?”
Jaya sat down and threw her arm around Micha’s shoulders. “Ree’s right. We can help. Is it a body removal? A full out assassination? Do you want us to hire out? Tell us who you need killed, and we’ll take care of it. I have a whole contingency plan.”
Despite everything, a smile tugged at Micha’s lips. She laid her head on Jaya’s shoulder and finally found her voice. “Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I had a full-scale panic attack.” She wiped at a tear with the back of her hand. “Actually, forget think. It was definitely a panic attack.”
Ricca sat on the other side of her. “Okay. Is that what happened the other day too?”
Micha nodded.
“What do you think brought it on?” Ricca asked.
“I-I don’t know. I’ve been cured of this shit for over six years. I don’t know why it’s happening now.”
Jaya smoothed her hand down Micha’s curls. “Why don’t you start with what happened the other day? Then we’ll go back to what triggers them.”
Micha hated leaning on someone else. This feeling of helplessness wasn’t one she ever wanted to become accustomed to. But this was the only family she had, and clearly she needed the help. “The other day, Ricca, Caleb, and I were working out. Caleb and I were uhm, fighting.”
“Nothing new there,” Ricca quipped.
Micha shrugged. “Yeah. Nothing out of the ordinary.” How the hell did she tell Jaya without revealing her surprise?
“Caleb was wrestling control of a partnering yoga move from me, and I was annoyed, and the instructor came over and said that I’d have to learn to trust him or it wouldn’t work. She walked away, and Caleb, he uh, pulled me in, and that’s when I started to feel dizzy. Like the room was spinning and the walls were closing in. I sort of freaked out and tried to take control back but pulled my body too hard then I landed on my ass.”
A giggle burst from Jaya. “Sorry, My.” She blushed. “Sorry. I would have paid money to see that fall.”
Ricca smiled. “It was pretty funny, Micha.”
Micha shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, if it had been one of you two, I’d have howled with laughter.”
“So what happened tonight?” Jaya prompted.
“I, uh…Tonight Caleb and I were following a clue. My feet w
ere killing me, so when he suggested the elevator I said yeah. Then the power went out and the damn elevator stopped. Same thing—dizzy, panicked.” She didn’t want to get into the whole her begging for sex thing from Caleb. She could relive that particular humiliation another day.
“Are you claustrophobic?” Jaya asked.
Micha opted for the truth. “A little. Sometimes I’m all right. But I couldn’t handle it.” She shook her head. “Not tonight.”
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Ricca said. “We’re here. You want us to take you home?”
Micha shook her head. “No, Jaya has to stay. It’s her party. And one of us should at least be here to support. I’ll take a cab.”
Jaya scrutinized her face. “Micha, I’m worried about you. You’re not yourself. I don’t want you going home on your own.”
Micha squared her shoulders. “I’m a big girl who had a moment. I’m good now. I don’t need to be taken care of. I’m having a rough week for some reason.”
“That’s understandable, but you know that’s why we’re here, right?” said Jaya. “You remember when I lost my shit after Dad fired me, and you guys wouldn’t let me wallow?”
Boy did Micha remember. Jaya had taken to pocketbook suicide to fill the emptiness inside with three-thousand dollar Christian Louboutin shoes. To help bail her out, Micha and Ricca had gone in on the shoes with her. Sort of a shoe co-op.
“How could we forget? You were wearing these shoes when you hooked up with Alec.”
Jaya nodded. “Well sort of. I needed some confidence and to learn to have a little fun. That’s what the shoes gave me.” She grinned. “And Alec.” She conceded.
Micha smiled at her friend. “But if you’re suggesting I go buy three-thousand dollar shoes to make myself feel better, you’re nuts.”
Ricca laughed. “No. Even Jaya isn’t that crazy. What I think she means is you need something to help you get through something. The shoes are only shoes, but they symbolize that we’re there for each other. Maybe it’s your turn to have them.”
Micha shook her head. “C’mon, Ree. It’s not like they’re magic or something.”
Ricca shrugged. “Well, when Jaya gave me the shoes I needed a little boost too.”
Ricca had been pining after her best friend Beckett for more than a decade. They’d finally given in to their feelings at the annual Westhorpe Gala, where Alec had proposed to Jaya. Or at least gave into the temptation at the gala. The falling in love came later.
“I somehow don’t think a man will solve my problems, Ree.”
“No. I mean, Charles and I had broken up, and the job I was more than qualified to do had been given to someone else. I was pretty low. Having them...” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Connected me to you guys in a way. I could draw strength from them.”
Micha raised an eyebrow. “So you’re saying this is the sisterhood of the traveling stilettos?”
Ree and Jaya laughed. Ricca slipped off the red and gold embossed, four-inch beauties in question and held them out to Micha. “I think it’s your turn. You look like you could use a reminder that we’re always here.”
Micha eyed the shoes dubiously. Footwear was not the solution to her problem, no matter how fabulous. But Ricca was right. She wouldn’t be able to look at them without thinking about her friends and everything they’d gone through together. The girls were right. There was strength in that.
Tentatively, she slipped off her emerald green heels and swapped them with Ricca. The simple act of sliding her feet into the plush heels had her feeling steadier.
Jaya gave her a warm smile. “See? You’re looking stronger already.”
***
Caleb gripped the railing of the balcony. Micha hadn’t wanted him following her, so he’d headed to the terrace for some air. He’d fucking blown it. His one shot with her, and he’d goddamn blown it. He should have been more patient. Damn it. This was what happened when he rushed things. Now she was running scared.
He regretted not following her, but that would have been suicide. She was way too raw, and if he attempted to reason with her, she’d flay him alive. He had enough self-preservation to curb that from happening.
He took another minute before heading back into the ballroom. How things had gone from so good to so royally fucked up, he wasn’t quite sure.
As soon as he walked in, Jaya was on him like white on rice. “What the fuck happened?”
He peered over her shoulder, looking for Alec to give him a hand, but his best friend was talking to Adele with his back to him. Shit. He tried to side step Jaya. “I didn’t do anything, Jai.” He doubted Micha would appreciate his telling her friend that they’d nearly fucked and she’d run. “Have you seen Micha? Did she come down and grab her stuff already?”
“Yeah she grabbed her stuff. You were supposed to have fun, not piss her off, Caleb.” She followed him at a fast clip, the click-click-click of her heels echoing ever so slightly.
“Trust me, I wasn’t trying to piss her off. It just sort of happened.”
He scanned their table. Micha’s coat was gone and so was her date’s jacket. Damn. She really had left. Fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Jaya, can we do this later, maybe? I’m going to get out of here. But I want to talk to Alec first.”
She scrutinized him with wide, brown eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing. Why?”
“You look a little...raw.”
Yeah, well, he felt raw. Relief flooded him as he saw Alec coming their way with a big grin for his wife.
“Caleb, I don’t think you understand the rules of the game, man. You’re supposed to stay with your partner and try to win. It’s a very simple concept.”
“Sorry to ruin the fun, guys, but will you survive without your best man for the rest of the night?”
Alec’s gaze skipped from his to Jaya to the empty table where Micha’s things should have been. “Everything cool, man?”
“Yep, something came up that’s all.”
Alec pulled Jaya in close and nuzzled her neck. “Yeah, it’s cool. Jaya will take good care of me.”
Caleb winced. “Oh, come on, man, you gotta do that in front of me? You guys are worse than a couple of teenagers.”
He made a round of quick goodbyes and left as quickly as he could. He’d known Micha would go. She wasn’t going to sit at the table and sulk. Micha Bennett was a handful, and he knew how to work her. Only problem was, she was stubborn as hell and would come kicking and screaming the whole way. She wanted to pretend tonight never happened? He’d simply have to find a way to remind her every time she saw him.
As he let himself into his apartment, he couldn’t help the automatic peek into hers. Since moving into her building, across from her, a couple of years ago, it had become part of his ritual. Walk in the door, see if Micha was home.
If she was serious about not dating him, he could respect her wishes and leave her alone and literally die of blue balls, or he could do what he did best, be persistently annoying. She had to talk to him eventually, and when she did, they’d get on even ground. Problem was, he didn’t want to be on even ground with her. He wanted her. But that would come later. For now they had out figure out how to be friends.
Chapter 8
Micha stared at Caleb’s apartment. She could make out the outline of his body as he prowled around on the phone. For several moments, she stood mesmerized. There was such an easy sex appeal to him. It irritated her.
Ryan hadn’t been too pleased about leaving early. He loved the idea of rubbing elbows with billionaires, but he’d brought her home without complaint, bless him.
Caleb glanced toward her place, and she sighed. Now that he’d touched her, it was the only thing she’d be able to think about every time she saw him. The sound of his big hands tearing the delicate lace of her thong was one she’d never forget. The way he’d looked deep into her soul after that first kiss. The follow up kiss had been deliberate and sensual and so intimate. She’d wanted to run
then, but God she’d wanted to stay.
She swiped a tear away with the back of her hand. Suck it up Micha, there’s no crying in relationships. And if there was, she wasn’t the one crying. Except with Jax. She immediately shoved the painful memory aside. She could do this. She and Caleb could go back to the way things had been. How hard could that be? All she had to do was forget the hottest night of her life.
Deftly avoiding her kitchen table and the letter from the adoption agency, Micha snatched up her car keys. She’d made the mistake of re-reading the letter after she’d come home last night.
Dear Miss Bennett,
After research into your case, we have contacted the necessary parties, and they do not, at this time, wish to make contact. Should they reverse their decision, we shall contact you.
Regards,
William Walker
Managing Partner, Walker and Associates
In two succinct lines, William Walker had once again killed her search for her birth mother. It didn’t matter. She’d get what she wanted eventually. She was too stubborn not to.
Jaya’s call came as she walked into her office. Her friend didn’t bother with a greeting. “You want to tell me what’s going on between you and Caleb?”
Micha held the cell phone between her shoulder and her ears as she prepped for the editors’ meeting. “Jai, sorry honey, can we do this later? I’m prepping for a meeting.”
“What time’s the meeting?”
“Huh?”
“The meeting—what time is it?”
Micha stuttered, and Jaya caught her in her little trap.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding me and Ricca? Ricca said she called this morning and you sent her to voicemail. What’s going on?”
Shit. She should have known they wouldn’t give her a day or two of peace. “Nothing. Everything is under control.”
“Let me ask you this—what the hell happened with Caleb at the party? He’s been running around the hotel all surly and taciturn today. That’s not Caleb. He almost always has some retort or other for Alec, and nothing. Someone going to tell me what’s up?”