Darren sipped at his Stella, toed off his shoes, and said, “Did you say yes?”
Rachel flushed. “Mhmm.”
“Did you tell him about the no-sex thing?” he prompted.
She fiddled with her fingers, picking at her nails. “Not yet,” she mumbled, chewing on her lip. “Should I?”
“Well, eventually. Kind of thing that’s probably going to come up,” Darren suggested.
She huffed and punched him again. “I meant immediately.”
Darren thought about it. He’d had time to look around, to think about Rachel’s dilemma, and he’d tried to imagine being that way. Or more accurately, if Jayden was that way, because Darren honestly couldn’t imagine never wanting sex. But if Jayden had told him on the very first date…
Well, he hadn’t told Jayden everything up-front either, had he?
“No,” he said eventually, and her shoulders relaxed. “I didn’t tell Jayden about some heavy stuff for a little while. It scares people off. Maybe he’ll be scared off anyway, in which case fuck him, pun wholly intended. But he might decide after a little while you’re worth it, which he should, and then it won’t matter.”
She grinned, still flushing, and clanked their cans together. “I hope it doesn’t matter,” she said wistfully. “He’s gorgeous.”
“If he’s worth you going scarlet over him, it won’t matter,” Darren said and smirked when she flushed harder and hit him again. “Jesus. Abusive neighbour. Seriously, lay off. I’ll have bruises.”
“So? Makes up for your constant verbal abuse,” she sniped and tucked her feet up under herself. “I ordered the usual pizza and garlic bread, and I bought ice cream on the way home so we’re sorted. Pizza’ll be here in half an hour, they said. You came early.”
“Never done that before.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s always about sex with you people. It’s so…”
“Speaking of sex…”
“No.”
“My boyfriend’s mother still makes up a camp bed for me when I stay over.”
She laughed. “Seriously?”
“Yep,” Darren said, suddenly feeling oddly cheerful, like a slice of sun through a storm cloud. “She gave him a bollocking on Christmas Eve because we broke the rules.”
“Oh, I’ll bet you did,” she muttered, wedging her socked toes under his thigh for warmth and wiggling them. It was a weird sensation. “And you’ve been together how long?”
“About three years,” Darren said. “And sleeping together for…about three years.”
Rachel sniggered, covering her mouth briefly with her hand, then dropped it and sighed, hugging her knees. “You’re so lucky.”
“Mm?”
“Having Jayden,” she clarified and hunched her shoulders. “Having someone. I hate being…I mean, even being gay would be easier. There’s gay girls. Loads of them. But nobody gets this. I hope Tony doesn’t…you know. Mind.”
Darren lifted an arm; she untucked her feet and crawled across the sofa for the offered hug, burrowing into his shoulder and sighing gustily.
“If it doesn’t work out with Tony, can you be my gay boyfriend?” she asked in a wheedling tone, the same one for ‘can I borrow some cheese?’ and ‘you don’t really want all that lager, do you?’ “Like, properly? Go on fake dates and everything?”
“You’ll have to negotiate some terms with Jayden on that,” Darren hedged. “And I don’t watch rom-coms in the cinema.”
“Tough. And he can’t complain if we never have sex.”
“I still don’t think he’d be happy.”
“Then he’s a fussy bitch and you should dump him and come shopping and shit with me instead,” she bargained.
“Yeah, but I like sex,” Darren said mournfully.
“There’s always chocolate,” Rachel said. “And I’ll let you cheat on me!”
“Meh. Sounds like effort.”
“And coffee. Coffee would help.”
“Eh.”
“You love coffee!”
“Not as much as I love sex,” Darren insisted. Rachel groaned and pinched his arm.
“Just be my gay boyfriend,” she whined.
“What if your Tony doesn’t care about your asexy fabulousness?” Darren mocked. “What’ll he think then if you have a gay boyfriend on the side? You asexy slag.”
“Oh, you…” she started, untangling herself and reaching for a pillow.
Then the doorbell went, and Darren was saved, quite literally, by a stuffed-crust, meat lover’s pizza.
Chapter 14
Jonathon had spent Christmas in the Austrian Alps, and came back with a tan formed around ski goggles, his wrist in a brace, and a cheerful demeanour. He arrived later than he’d told Ella, only a couple of days before classes started, but unfortunately that meant that Ella knew Jayden had gotten all of his coursework out of the way, and therefore she knew he was free to come down to the college bar with her, and she appeared in his doorway on the Friday evening with all her hair down and a big smile.
“Jonathon’s here!” she said, clapping her hands. “And he’s got news and we have to go and talk to him, so come on.”
Jayden bit his lip, glancing at his laptop screen. He’d been talking to Darren on Skype for maybe an hour, the longest they’d managed before between studies and shifts, and he toyed with the keys. Darren rolled his eyes and made a shooing motion.
“I’m talking to Darren. I’m thinking of going to…”
“You can talk to him some other time, come on,” she insisted.
Jayden chewed on his lip. He should go—they teased him enough about shutting himself away in his room to talk to Darren, but after spending Christmas together, he felt lonelier than ever and…
“Come on!” Ella insisted.
“Just go,” Darren said, overhearing every word and making an exasperated face. “Get your news. You know where I am when you’re less busy.”
Jayden frowned, but crushed the little swell of guilt. “Okay,” he said. “Love you.”
“You too.”
He shut the laptop before he could change his mind, and was then promptly hauled out of his chair by Ella’s sharp-nailed hand and tugged towards the door. “He won’t tell me what his news is until you get there,” she whined. “Come on, don’t be so slow!”
Jonathon was waiting in the basement bar, and he rose to shake Jayden’s hand like they’d never met before. He looked good, in that weak-chinned sort of way: the tan was more fetching than his pallor, and he looked better for a bit of Christmas weight. His hair was a little messier too, a little more natural. But the handshake lasted a little long, and Jayden shifted uncomfortably when Jonathon snapped open his wallet and insisted on getting the first round in.
“It’s not…” he tried, but they both waved him off.
“How were your Christmases?” Jonathon tried as they found a table, but Ella refused to be swayed.
“I don’t think so,” she said. “You said you had news, and I want to hear it.”
Jonathon laughed. “Well,” he said as they sat down. “You know how I told you Father had to cancel our annual trip to New York because of the bank?” No. “And how Mother was furious with him and said he had to make it up to Louisa and me?” No. And who was Louisa? “Well, he offered me the conciliation while we were in Austria, which is he’s offered to pay for a weekend trip to Paris for me and a few friends.”
“Oh, my God,” Ella said, grinned from ear to ear, and clapped her hands. “Paris?”
“Yep,” Jonathon beamed. “You, Jayden, and me. Paris. A long weekend job.”
“When? Oh my God, when?” Ella clutched his arm.
Jayden stared over his wine glass, his heart having paused painfully. Paris. He’d never been to Paris. He’d never been to France. Or anywhere abroad actually. They’d—well, Mum had—always talked about holidays, but it had never happened, or they couldn’t afford it, or Mum had her cancer scare, or Dad couldn’t get the time off work, and then Ja
yden had been older and doing exams all the time, and…
Paris. Paris. The city of lights, the city of romance, the destination of Northern Europe. Paris! His heart was thumping against his chest again, and in double-time. Abroad. France. The museums and the Eiffel Tower and the food and the nightclubs and the…the…the everything. Everything that was Paris. The lot.
“I can’t aff…” he began to admit.
“That’s the deal,” Jonathon interrupted. “Father will pay for it all. He’ll reserve the rooms, he’ll pay the tickets, and he’ll give us spending money. The lot. It’s a free holiday.”
Ella shrieked in delight and hugged Jonathon tightly, but his intense eyes were on Jayden instead. “You in?” he asked.
“When?” Jayden said.
“I don’t know yet,” Jonathon shrugged. “I’m waiting for the exam timetable to come out—we have a lot of them scheduled in the economics department, you know—but once it does, I’ll tell Father when I have to study and he’ll book it for afterwards. So, early June, I would imagine, or the Easter break.”
Jayden chewed on his lip, but the grin was already forming. Paris. Paris! He’d never imagined actually being able to go—or at least, not this side of thirty, given that his first job would pay crap and Darren’s job paid crap and it just wouldn’t happen, not for years. How could he say no? How could he even think about saying no?
“Jesus,” he said, and Ella cheered.
“You are so in,” she said, beaming brilliantly. “It’s going to be amazing. Jonathon, you are so lucky to have a father like that!”
“Comes in handy,” Jonathon admitted, smirking, and raised his glass. “To the promise of Paris, even if we have no bloody details yet!”
“Cheers!” Ella said, and Jayden raised his glass in time for the impromptu toast. Paris. Actual, real live, French Paris.
What could be better?
* * * *
“I’ve seen better.”
Jayden turned onto his bed to stare at the ceiling. “Darren, now is one of those times you’re meant to be all supportive and excited for me.”
“Yeah, but it’s Paris.”
“So? I’ve never been!”
“And when you go, you’ll know what I mean.”
“You’re an arse. Look, it was lovely of Jonathon to ask me to go.”
“Mm.”
Jayden rolled his eyes. “Mm?”
It was half past ten. He’d had more than a couple of glasses of wine, but he’d begged off early from the drinking session by pleading he had a class tomorrow. Which he did, but he was also bubbling over still with the excitement of getting to go to Paris, and just needed to tell someone. Unfortunately, ‘someone’ had been watching a film, and had travelled more extensively by the time he was three and a half than Jayden had in a lifetime, so apparently wasn’t sharing in the enthusiasm.
“Well, if I was trying to win over a hot guy who tragically had a boyfriend, I’d think about a thinly-veiled invite to come to the city of romance with me too.”
“You’re jealous?”
“A bit,” Darren admitted. “He likes you. On the other hand, Paris really isn’t as romantic as everyone makes it out to be, so…”
“You’re ridiculous,” Jayden informed him, turning back onto his front. He felt pleasantly buzzed, but the room was chilly and he suddenly wanted one of Darren’s overheated hugs. “And he doesn’t like me.”
“Yeah, he does.”
“No, he doesn’t, we’re just friends.”
“Being ‘just friends’ doesn’t mean one doesn’t like the other, it just means nothing happened yet.”
“Oh, look, you and Ella agree on something,” Jayden sighed.
“I hate to say it, but she’s sharp,” Darren said. “If she thinks he fancies you, she’s probably right. And I concur, he does.”
“Oh, shut up,” Jayden said, poking the pillow like it was Darren’s face. “Will you take me to Paris one day?”
“If I must.”
“I think you should.”
“Why?”
“Because you love me.”
“If the definition of loving you is taking you to Paris, then this relationship is already in trouble.”
“Nooooo,” Jayden said slowly, thinking about it. “Maybe Rome.”
“Rome’s all right.”
“So you’ll take me to Rome someday?”
“Jesus, how much have you had?” Darren muttered, then chuckled, low and dark. “Maybe one day I’ll take you to Rome. Scandalise some Catholics and snog you in the Sistine Chapel.”
Jayden laughed, curling his toes and flexing his ankles. Slowly, he lowered his feet and turning onto his side, cradling the phone between his cheek and the pillow. “I wish you could come too,” he murmured lowly. “It’ll just be Ella and Jonathon and me.”
“Poor Ella,” Darren said unexpectedly. “Third wheel for two gay guys.”
“Oh, shut up,” Jayden said fondly, picking at the pillowcase. “I want to go, but it’ll be weird, going to Paris without you. Without my boyfriend.”
“You’re definitely drunk if you’re breaking out the b-word and it’s not the end of the world,” Darren said agreeably.
Jayden scowled. “Why am I with you?”
“Because you love me,” Darren said, but there was the faint edge of mocking to it.
“Don’t make fun of me.”
“All right, all right,” Darren chuckled. The noise of the film in the background was suddenly muted. “When are you going to come and see me, then, if you’re buggering off to Paris?”
“I don’t know,” Jayden said mournfully. “I miss you.”
“Yes, you said that,” Darren said, laughing quietly. “Look, go to bloody bed. And on Saturday when you’re not studying or out with Ella or whatever, and I have my next day off, we can arrange you coming here for a visit nearer Easter. Just a weekend or something. But I’ll be done with the first-stage training by then, so I’ll be on shifts and have to book the time off.”
“Okay,” Jayden murmured. “I want to come for your birthday but I can’t. S’exam season. I don’t think mine will be over by then.”
“I’ll forgive you this time,” Darren bargained. “Maybe.”
“I’ll check.” Jayden decided. “I mean, I might be lucky, some exams are after Easter and I don’t think maybe mine will be so if we break for Easter before your birthday, I might be able to come down and…”
“You’re rambling,” Darren said lowly. “Go to bed. We’ll talk about it some other time.”
Jayden huffed, pinching the pillowcase one last time before whispering, “Okay. Miss you.”
“Love you too, you pisshead,” Darren said fondly and hung up.
Jayden sat with the dial tone for a long time and trying to imagine Darren’s smile in Rome.
* * * *
“What happened to you?”
“Shut up,” Jayden said, and Leah slid into the seat opposite, grinning broadly. His head was pounding and he’d woken up feeling more like he’d died than slept.
“Hung over?”
“Mm.”
“Well, you were hitting the wine pretty hard last night, the lot of you. We went for drinks after our hockey practice and your Ella was just about arse over tit flirting with the barman. Poor guy.”
Jayden grimaced. He’d retired to a lonely corner of the junior common room, taking advantage of some January sales trip half the college had decided to chip in for, and the subsequent quiet. He would have been happy to shoot himself to shut up the Jamaican steel band playing between his ears.
“How’d your Christmas go, then?” Leah asked, spreading out her supplies. It looked like an essay to Jayden’s gritty eyes, but then Leah had handwriting worthy of a medical student, so it could have been anything.
“Okay.”
“Spend it with the boyfriend?”
“Mm.”
“Ever get out of bed?”
“Leah!” Jayden hissed and
went pink.
“That’s a no,” she said briskly. “You went quiet, that’s for damn sure. Tim wanted us to come down to Cardiff to see a comedy play that was in the city, you know.”
Jayden winced. “Sorry. I don’t really check Facebook enough, you know, and getting to see Darren again…”
“Hey, I get it,” she said and rolled her eyes. “Honestly? Have to say I kind of admire you two. You’re sticking it out pretty good, even with the distance.”
Jayden grimaced again. Yeah, that’s why they’d nearly argued about five times over the break, and when Darren had visited, and he hadn’t gotten along with Ella and he seemed to hate Jonathon too, and…
“Oh, never mind then,” she said, flipping pages. “Tim hooked up with some Welsh bird over the break, apparently. Didn’t know he knew what his cock was for, never mind how to use it.”
The vulgarity was startling, and Jayden paused mid-word on his Chaucer translation. (Professor Byrnes called it an analysis, but it was a translation.) It jarred, and he floundered for something to say, eventually settling on a lame, “Oh,” and scribbling a useless line to appear like he was just busy.
Leah eyed him. “You going to join the drama club this term?”
“Um…”
“That’s a no,” she said and folded her arms. “Come on, Jayden, you can’t just go to university and sit in the bar drinking wine every minute you’re not in your room. You’ll turn into one of those ponces. Or an alcoholic.”
“They’re not…”
“They are,” she snorted. “I’m serious, some of the bloody postgrads are more down-to-earth than those two. You need to start hanging out with real people, or you’re going to get locked in the ivory tower, and then what’ll your boyfriend think?”
Jayden scowled. “My life shouldn’t be about what other people think,” he snapped.
“But it is,” she said. “You do everything Ella and Jonathon want you to do. You’re trying to impress them.”
“What would you know?” he snapped.
Leah rolled her eyes. “Please. I’m a fat scholarship student from a state school, Jayden,” she sniped. “I know.”
Jayden rubbed at the throbbing pain in the side of his head. “Just drop it, Leah. I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m just trying to pass.”
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