by Jo Grafford
A better man than him would’ve considered leaving her be and removing himself from the equation, but Josh loved her too much. Wishing there was something he could do to ease her heartache, he did the one thing he could. He stayed.
The last time things had come to such a difficult crossroad, he’d walked away. But that was the younger, dumber version of him. Never again would he do that to her. He was going to stay this time until she pushed him away. This time it was going to be her choice to stay or walk away.
He kept an arm around her, rubbing gentle circles against her upper arm. She was in jeans and boots, something he hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing her in since her return to town. The white top she wore was so long, lacy and flowy that it had his fevered brain conjuring up things like brides and weddings when he was supposed to be listening to the minister preach his sermon.
Josh did manage to listen, though. It was a message about letting go of the past and being forgiven. Of daring to reach for the promises of God and believing in the possibility of a second chance. By the end of the service, Josh was willing and eager to give anything a try to make things right with Hope. Including prayer. So when the minister invited them to bow their heads and let the Maker of the Universe into their hearts, he did.
He could hear Hope’s whispered prayer as she did the same.
When the service ended, he sat there for a minute, just holding her, knowing that something had changed between them. Something monumental and real.
She gave a damp laugh and wiped her eyes again. “Good grief!” she murmured. “I’ve never been such a crybaby before.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.” Running a high school was no joke. “Everyone has their breaking point.”
At the swift, incredulous look she gave him, he realized that her tears probably had nothing to do with her job. He, alone, had been the source of her tears. He was her breaking point. The knowledge settled heavily in his chest.
As he escorted her outside, he inwardly vowed to set things straight with her at all costs. “Walk with me?” He crooked his arm at her.
After a small huff of surprise, she took it and allowed him to lead her down to the path that led around the lake. It went on for miles, though he didn’t intend to keep her out there long enough to circle the entire thing.
“I didn’t think you went to church,” she noted after a few minutes of silence.
“I usually don’t. Do you?” He glanced curiously down at her, liking the fact that he didn’t have to crane his neck too hard. She was taller than average. He’d always liked that about her.
She ignored his question. “So is your new girlfriend wanting you to get religion?” Though her voice was teasing, he detected an undercurrent of tension that sent a thousand warning flags waving inside his head.
“Not that I’m aware of, seeing as I don’t have one.” He glanced away, irritated at the fact that Laurel Williams must have said something to someone, who’d said something to someone else about the one blasted night he’d lingered at the diner. It felt like he couldn’t take in one breath of air or say one word these days without being misunderstood by someone.
Hope gave his arm a short squeeze. “That’s not what I heard.”
“Then you heard wrong.” He glanced down at her beseechingly, willing her to believe him. The few times he’d attempted to date since Hope had left town hadn’t led to anything, and he sure as heck had no interest in pursuing someone else now that the woman of his dreams was back.
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, making him long to swoop in and replace it with his mouth. It was such a dangerous thought that he had to blink several times to clear the image from his brain.
“So my head of security at Heart Lake High is single and lonely, eh?” She gave a nervous sounding chuckle.
“Very single and very lonely,” he assured. “I don’t date much. Been too busy running a business, I reckon.” He arched a brow at her, thinking two could play the Q&A game. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you serious about Mr. Money Bags?”
She gave a merry trill of laughter. “You mean Kellan?”
“Who else?” he asked sourly.
Her smile dimmed. “Honestly? I wanted to date him, and he wanted to date me.” Her lips twisted with something akin to regret. “On paper, he checks every box, and he certainly meets my mother’s approval.” Her voice turned bitter. “Guess my heart never got the memo, though.”
Cautious hope leaped inside his chest. “So you’re not dating him?” This was news to him. Big news. Confusing news. “You sorta gave me the impression that you were.”
“Like I said, I wanted to.” She shrugged. “I just never fell in love with him, alright? I’m starting to think I might be one of those people who’s simply too married to her job to make that kind of commitment.”
Josh’s heart sang at the discovery that Hope Remington and Kellan Maddox weren’t an item, after all. It took him an extra moment to absorb the information. This is huge! It was like the Earth, itself, was pausing its spin around its axel, waiting for him to claim that second chance the pastor had been talking about. The sun, that had been trying to fight its way from behind the clouds, suddenly burst through. It glinted off the lake, turning the gentle, dappling waves to pure gold.
“Did you date some in college, at least?” He knew he was being nosy, but he suddenly wanted to fill in all the missing gaps in the time they’d spent apart.
“I did.” She didn’t sound too excited about it and didn’t elaborate.
“Maybe it’s just a matter of meeting the right guy,” he returned lightly. Like me, for instance.
“I did, Josh. I met him.” She glanced away, voice trembling. “Then I lost him.”
He paused their stroll, pivoting his broad frame directly in front of her. “Are you talking about me, Hope?” His heart pounded like a parade drum. Please say yes.
She looked close to weeping again. “I am.” She drew a shuddering breath. “If it bothers you, we can talk about something else.”
He abruptly reached for her hand and drew her along the path a short distance to the nearest boathouse. Not knowing or caring who it belonged to, he stepped with her beneath the covered side porch, longing for the modicum of privacy it lent them.
“Hope, I need you to be perfectly honestly with me about something. Please,” he added hoarsely. “If there’s any chance in the world that you still care for me…” He shook his head. “Lord only knows why after all the mistakes I’ve made with you.” He reached for her hands and gripped them like a lifeline. “I, ah…I need to know. I need to know more than I need the next breath of air I’m about to take.”
She made a sound that was half-laugh and half-sob. “I never stopped caring, Josh. That’s the problem. I tried…so hard, but I couldn’t.”
Her words were the answer to every one of his wildest dreams in the past ten years. Every one of his most desperate hopes and frantic prayers. “Hope.” His voice broke as he dared to believe she might actually be offering him another chance to set things straight between them. “I never stopped caring for you, either. I tried, since I figured that’s what you wanted. I almost convinced myself that I’d succeeded. Then you showed up at the airport, and I knew.” He slowly leaned back against the weathered boards of the boathouse.
“What did you know?” she asked breathlessly.
“That what I wanted more than anything in the world was this.” He tugged her against his chest, winding his arms around her slender frame. “You. Us.” He bent to capture her mouth with his.
Kissing her felt like coming home after being gone for a very long time. The curve of her mouth was familiar, yet new. Her scent and taste were everything that he remembered, yet a thousand times more intoxicating. He breathed her in, but couldn’t seem to get enough. They’d been apart for too long. He was literally starved for her. Starved for her voice, her touch, her smile, her s
weetness and her sass.
He fisted his hand around her braid, adoring the silken feel of her hair. Mine. She was his — all his — and he was never, ever going to let her go again.
“Josh,” she murmured shakily when he finally lifted his head. She reached up to touch his cheek, which he suddenly realized felt damp. “Are you crying?”
“Probably.” He smiled crookedly at her, not caring that she was seeing him this way. She’d always been his biggest weakness, and she knew it. Nothing had changed in that regard.
“I’ve never seen you cry.” She traced a damp trail across his cheek and down his jaw line, looking monumentally upset about his tears. “Are you okay?”
“I will be when you marry me.” He hadn’t intended to propose, but the words burst from him, raw with longing.
“Okay.” Her lashes grew damp again.
His breathing turned ragged with wonder. “Is that a yes?”
“It’s a yes.” She cupped his face with both hands, kissing him so tenderly that he couldn’t think straight.
“How soon?” He prayed she wouldn’t make him wait too long. He’d already waited ten years longer than he wanted to.
She smiled against his lips. “Well, there’s the church to reserve and the cake to order. Sounds like you might already have a ring.”
“Not anymore. I threw it into the lake after you left,” he admitted. “I almost threw myself after it.”
“Josh!” she gasped, drawing back a little to peer anxiously up at him.
“It’s true.” He leaned his head back against the wall and reached for her left hand to draw it to his lips. He kissed the finger he wanted so badly to place a ring on. “I’ll buy you another one.”
She studied him for a moment, tears drenching her lashes like diamonds. “So long as it’s an emerald, mister.”
Her unexpected burst of humor made his brows shoot upward. “I thought diamonds were a girl’s best friend.”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Diamonds are boring. Everybody wears them. Emeralds, on the other hand, are heart-stoppingly gorgeous.” She gave him a secretive smile that took his breath away. She was so beautiful — all the time, but especially when she smiled. “Did you know that back in Biblical times, emeralds were considered to be a symbol of rebirth? Of newness?”
“Nope.” He didn’t care what they symbolized, so long as she wearing the blasted stone on her left hand and so long as it meant she was married to him. “Do you want to pick out your own ring this time?”
She gently shook her head. “I’d rather you surprise me.”
The hesitance in her voice gave him pause. “Hey, money’s not an issue, babe. You can have any ring you want.”
“Seriously, Josh. Whatever you decide to get me is fine.”
“So long as it’s an emerald,” he teased
“Yes.” The wattage of her smile had dimmed alarmingly, though.
“What’s wrong, Hope?” His insides tightened with apprehension.
“Nothing.”
“Care to try again? Because you’re the world’s worst liar.”
She parted her lips, then closed them. “It just hit me that we’re coworkers now. I’ll have to find out what the school policy is about dating one’s head of security.”
He toyed with a loose strand of hair dangling against her cheek. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”
“I wish I was.” She made a sound of disgust. “I promise I’ll find out soon. Probably on Monday.”
“So what’s the worse case scenario here?” There was no way he was letting the woman of his dreams go, so they would just have to figure out a way to smooth this newest wrinkle.
She raised and lowered her shoulders. “If Elmer considers us to be peers, we might be okay.” A snicker escaped her. “So long as we can convince him our relationship is consensual, that is.”
He started laughing. “The stuff you women worry about.” Consensual didn’t even begin to describe the way he felt about her.
She joined in his laughter. “So I’ve never asked, but do you report to him or me?”
“Him, I think. Why? Do you like the idea of bossing me around?” he teased.
“I’ve always enjoyed bossing you around,” she returned smoothly. “But that’s not the reason I asked. If you report directly to Elmer, dating you shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I don’t want to date you.” He drew her mouth back to his to speak against her lips. “At least not for long. I want to marry you.” He kissed her lingeringly, pouring every ounce of his heart and soul into the moment.
“Mmm,” she murmured, kissing him back.
“I’ll do whatever it takes for us to be together,” he vowed between kisses. “I’ll marry you in secret. Or resign from my position at the school.”
She gave his chest a light shove. “You are not resigning, Josh Hawling! I need you on my team there. You promised to have my back, and I’m holding you to that promise.”
“Aye, aye, cap’n.” He waggled his brows at her. “I like it when you go all boss lady on me, by the way. I like it a lot.”
Her lips twitched. “Just for the record, I’d rather take you up on your offer to marry in secret than to lose you at Heart Lake High.”
“If I had it my way, that’s exactly what we’d do.” He straightened and slid his hands down her arms to lace his fingers through hers. “I’d marry you as soon as possible and figure out the rest as we go.”
Her expression went all soft, like melted butter. “I really like the way you think, Josh. That’s exactly what we should do.”
“Yes, ma’am.” There was no way he was going to question such a miracle. He’d set up an appointment at the county clerk’s office first thing Monday morning for them to go file for their marriage license.
She swayed closer. “Now kiss me again.”
Josh eagerly complied.
Chapter 7: Spirit Rally
Hope
“May I take you home, babe?” Josh touched his forehead to Hope’s, rubbing his nose gently against hers.
“Of course.” They’d been wrapped in each other’s arms for over an hour, and she was sort of dying for a beverage. Preferably something cool and fizzy.
“I mean all the way home.” He lifted his head, palming her cheek with one large hand. “To the place where you grew up.”
She caught her breath in wonder. “Ah…sure. I would seriously love to visit there.” Her voice hitched at the thought of seeing her childhood home again. She was suddenly a thousand times glad that he’d been the one to purchase it from her mother, as opposed to a complete stranger.
He gave a short huff of disparagement. “Just for the record, I don’t consider you to be a visitor.”
As he led her back up the lake path to the church parking lot, she gazed around them, utterly enchanted by the sights and sounds of Heart Lake. Never before had the sun gleamed brighter, or the water sparkled more blue, or the bugle calls of the sand cranes rang so sweetly in the air.
“I’m so happy, Josh.” She felt she might burst from the effort of trying to soak in so much beauty.
“Me, too. I’m probably a little crazy in the head right now.” He shot her one of his bone melting smiles. “So if I hit my knees and start kissing your boots, just roll with it.”
To her surprise, he led her to a shiny black motorcycle. “Here.” He lifted his helmet and gently guided it over her head.
“What about you?” she protested.
He shrugged, looking unconcerned. “I’ve got a spare one at home, and we don’t have far to go.”
Once she was astride the back of his bike, with her arms wrapped around his middle, he turned his head and spoke in a low voice. “Hold on tight.”
He revved his motor, making it give a savage rumble beneath them. Then he took off.
She gave a delighted laugh at the way the wind whipped at their hair and clothing. There was nothing quite like zooming along the open road, while plastered against the man she lov
ed. They passed barns, boathouses, and all sizes of farmhouses and cottages perched on the shores of the lake. They soon left the busier streets of town behind and headed deeper into the foothills.
Hope gave Josh a tight hug when the lovely old covered bridge drew into view. He slowed his speed as they passed over it. She briefly closed her eyes, soaking in the joy of knowing that he’d finally kept his word to her. It had taken longer than she ever imagined — ten painful, excruciating years — but his love had proven worth the wait.
The paved road faded to gravel as they approached the farmhouse she’d grown up in. A thousand memories assailed her, both good and bad. Memories of petting the barn cats and their many litters of kittens, memories of riding horses around the training ring as a child, memories of practicing her barrel racing in the larger ring as a teen, memories of her parents sitting on the front porch swing sipping on lemonade and talking about their day, memories of that summer Josh had worked as an extra ranch hand, and memories all those stolen kisses he’d given her…
But her memories felt like ghosts of times gone by. It was desperately quiet once Josh killed the bike motor. He gave her a hand as she slid off the backseat. She unsnapped his helmet and blindly gave it back, awash with nostalgia as she gazed around them.
“It’s really quiet here.” Her head spun, taking in the new dark green metal roof on the two-story farmhouse. It looked sharper than she remembered. The front and side lawns were mowed, but the back and side pastures were overgrown with uncut hay, corn, and alfalfa. No horses or cows were grazing. Not even any gates on the fences. All the big, automatic silver gates she remembered were completely gone.
A lone cat streaked from the wraparound porch on the house to the barn, making Hope catch her breath. Now that was something she remembered. He had long golden hair and a bushy tail.