You wanted to be loved,
But did everything to be hated,
And the constant reply
Was indifference or an inpatient sigh
Oh, you remained a little kid, why,
A dreamer who believed dreams could fly high
And was never as sly as the sly.’
Bruria
9 Aside from the above, I recommend that, especially in matters concerning her security, we hold a detailed orientation.
10 Registry of payments in 1978
Date Allocation to agent
Operative expense
8 February 1978
8,000 Ft
8 February 1978
500 USD
11 We have devised a travel legend and behavioural line she must demonstrate in the course of her stay in Israel.
As for the legend of her being interested, the secret colleague should name her interest in the Israeli domestic political situation
We request permission on a service voucher for the export of foreign currency, and will devise a legend for its legalisation.
12 8 Kiryat Sefer Street, my grandparent’s address in Tel Aviv
13 ‘. . . I consider myself to be a pigeon-holed creature because I’ve long had to throw off the wings every intelligent being gets at birth and have had to tie the umbilical cord even tighter to the plebeian things of the earth – so it was dictated by reality, which was all too hard. I might say, and with this I will close my lines: I can’t think of a thing that might have made me happy over long years if not for the dancing monkey and his flute-playing Arab owner I saw when looking out upon the narrow street in the old city of Jerusalem . . . at the age of three.’
hugs kisses
Bru
Budapest, 1976 VIII 15
III. Something More
1 Not that I’m thrilled about this, but nothing can be done about it.
On this day I have closed the dossier, at 79 pages and 48 lines.
Budapest, 30 September 1985
Lieutenant Dóra
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I want to thank Tamás Szőnyei, the excellent researcher of this dark domain of Hungarian history for his selfless and invaluable help, my editor Boglárka Nagy, who could make delicate decisions when I lost track and guided me through this thorny bush with a steady hand, my publisher and agent, Bence Sárközy, for his empathy, his constant attention and ingenious support during that most difficult year of my life when all this came to light, and my brother Peter for his courage and the deep dialogue between us without which this book wouldn’t be what it is.
András Forgách
Published in Great Britain by Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2018
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English translation copyright © Paul Olchváry, 2017
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