“Well, that’s impressive,” I said aloud.
My phone also indicated I’d missed a call from Brody.
“Hey Babe, where are you? Did you make it to Wyoming yet?” he questioned after answering on the second ring.
“I’m sorry, Brody. I got to my dad’s house last night and crashed. I just woke up and was going to call you shortly,” I said, lying about the last statement.
“Well, I miss you already,” he said. “We all miss you. Here, Linds wants to say ‘Hi’.”
There was only a moment’s pause before my best friend was squealing into the phone.
“LOGAN! I miss you! It seems like you’ve been gone for days…”
I checked the time on my phone again to make sure I’d read it correctly. I put the phone back to my ear and interrupted whatever she was saying.
“Why are you and Brody together so early this morning?” I questioned.
“A whole group of us went to Club Area last night, then a house party in the Hills,” she replied quickly. Too quickly. “I didn’t drive, so Brody offered to take me home. We just pulled up to Starbucks when you called.”
“Yeah, but why are you in L.A. this weekend? School starts at Laguna in a couple days and the drive from L.A. is over an hour out of Brody’s way.”
“He offered, so I took him up on his offer, Logan. It’s really no big deal. I guess Brody was going to see his parents this weekend in Laguna anyhow…”
“He never visits his parents,” I countered.
“Hence why he’s probably going,” she snapped. I heard her take a deep breath. “Logan… I know you’re upset and going through a rough time right now and I’m so sorry about everything. I’ll do whatever I can to be there for you and make this easier in any way I can. If you’d like me to catch a cab, I will.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, deciding to let it go. There was no changing the fact they were having a good time without me and she was right, I was upset. “Make sure Brody drives carefully,” I mustered.
“I will. I’ll let you talk to Brody before we get back on the road. I’m going inside to order us coffee.”
“Alright. I’ll call you later, Linds.”
“K, remember, you’re not alone, I love you,” she said, brushing the mouthpiece as she handed the phone back to Brody.
“So, how’s everything going so far?” Brody asked when he got back on the line. From his tone I could tell he’d overheard my brief conversation with Lindsey.
“Well, I’ve only been in Wyoming less than a day, but okay. I guess.”
“Are you doing okay?” he hedged.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied again.
“Are you sure?”
I didn’t answer. He knew I was lying. I knew he didn’t really want the details.
“Alright babe – I understand. I love you,” he said, seemingly distant. We both knew something didn’t feel right but neither of us wanting to get into it right then.
“I love you too,” I said softly. I wasn’t sure if I could trust Brody, but moving twelve-hundred miles away left me no other choice. Of course, his choice to move sixty miles away after graduation had also given me no choice.
“I’ll give you a call after I get back to L.A.,” he offered and we parted from the phone.
I took a deep breath, once again fought off tears and shoved myself out of the blankets, heading toward the stream of light peeking through the center of the curtains. When I pulled them open, I gasped. The mountains took over part of the blue skies while white feathery clouds spread over the rest. The warm rays of the sun poured down the window seat, across the wood floor, inviting me to take a better look. I walked straight to the edge letting my skin to soak up the warmth. It was surreal; I felt as if I was in a painting. It had been overcast since my plane touched down but the sun finally gave way to a sense of calm that began to take root in me as I embraced the beauty beyond the ledge. Autumn danced around the air and in the spaces between the mountains and I. The only thing untouched by the shifting of the season from summer to fall was me, standing on the balcony with my California tan.
Below me, I heard something move.
I carefully leaned over the edge of the railing and immediately caught the attention of Kate closing a small shed on the patio below.
“Good afternoon, Logan,” she called up. “Did you sleep well?” Kate quickly asked seeming equally put off by my presence as I was hers.
“I did, sort of…” I mumbled, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
“Are you hungry?”
“I think so,” I offered just after my stomach tried to answer for me.
“Throw on some jeans and we’ll go into town for lunch. I’d fix you something here, but we’re out of groceries. Your father and I will go shopping together when he gets back.”
I didn’t really want to leave the house, or spend too much time alone with my new step-mother, but my stomach was insisting otherwise.
After pulling on the skinny jeans I’d worn on the plane the day before and attempting to fix my hair and face, we drove into town for lunch. I peered out the window and felt the despair I’d felt when I was ten. Sheridan was small, quant and surprisingly closer to the house than I realized. I was certain I’d moved to the middle of nowhere. Thankfully, I was wrong about that part. It was almost the middle-of-nowhere.
Our meal was uneventful and the conversation very minimal. Kate looked as uncomfortable as I felt. I’m sure wearing my mirrored aviators throughout the entire meal could’ve also had something to do with her silence. I didn’t care, I wasn’t going to risk being spotted and photographed in public looking the way I did. It gave me time to size up my fathers’ wife, as well.
Kate was plain yet pretty. Assessing her beauty, I realized my mother would always be the ideal all others would be measured against and no one would ever come close. Kate’s long black hair framed her pale face, making her chocolate-brown eyes sparkle slightly. I realized she was a striking contrast to my mother not just physically but emotionally. My mother was outgoing, commanded the spotlight, and never caught off guard. This woman sat quietly eating her fries and looking down at her plate, avoiding my gaze. I wondered what my father saw in her.
When I finished eating, Kate didn’t even bother to finish her own meal. Instead she wasted no time paying, anxious to leave.
“Sorry we had to grab a bite in town,” she offered as we climbed back inside her SUV.
“It’s no big deal,” I replied, “I’m used to eating out a lot.”
“Your father and I have been so busy this past week; we just never made it to the grocery store. We’ll go as soon as he gets home.”
Kate seemed too eager to please and I wondered how much was due to the recent death of my mother and how much was due to her naturally weak-willed nature.
“When is my dad supposed to be home?” I questioned. He’d told me over the phone several times before I left for Wyoming, but I hadn’t paid attention once. He hadn’t flown out for the funeral and was too wrapped up with prior plans to even pick me up from the airport. It made it hard to care enough about his hunting schedule to remember it.
“He should be back tomorrow morning,” Kate answered flatly.
‘Great,’ I thought to myself, ‘another afternoon alone with Kate.’
I honestly had nothing against Kate, but she wasn’t and never would be my mother. Instead, she was just another adult trying to anchor me to a life I didn’t want.
“The movers should arrive this evening with your things,” Kate chimed in to my mental tirade, obviously trying to cheer me up.
“Great,” I mumbled.
I looked around as Kate began to slow down for the driveway. A lone mailbox sat next to a huge arch of logs that went up and over the entrance. We turned off the pavement and I scanned through the windshield for the house, but saw nothing more than the encroaching forest ahead. As we hit the dense tree line, the inside of the SUV turned a shadowy shade of green. Kate rolled down the
window, filling the crisp air conditioned lungs of the vehicle with the warm scent of earthy pine.
We drove through the shadows and they suddenly were replaced with shades of yellows and oranges as the sun flooded the interior again when we broke through the edge of the forest circling the property. The driveway seemed longer than the trip from town. Just past the trees, a barbed wire fence lined the driveway enclosing an open meadow. Beyond the meadow stood my father’s large, majestic log home nestled against the backdrop of towering mountains. In front of the home, on either side of the driveway, stood two large wooden barns. Kate rolled her window back up when we finally came to a stop in front of the garage, sealing in the scents of the outdoors.
This was not the home I grew up in. I was actually shocked at how far of a cry my father’s home was compared to the trailer park my parents raised me in before the divorce. We didn’t even have a house – it was a camper. A camper meant for camping in, not for living in. Growing up, I hadn’t seen the problem with that, but looking back, I could see why my mom left. I’d always felt gratitude that she’d left to give us a better life, but looking at my father’s gorgeous ranch, I wondered if maybe things weren’t as black-and-white about their divorce as I’d always thought.
Kate slammed her door shut jolting me back to the present. I reached to open my door but paused with my hand on the handle. As I looked out my window, I watched him move toward me with hesitation. I sucked in a breath of air and pushed open the door. ‘Not now,’ I told myself. My dad followed my lead and cautiously approached. We stood silently looking at each other for a moment and my anger – that he hadn’t supported me at the funeral – hadn’t visited me in California – he hadn’t even picked me up from the airport because he was too busy hunting – the anger overwhelmed me and I started crying. He silently placed his arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace, as I cried harder and released all the anger. I just let go. I had lost my mother, I wasn’t going to hang onto the past and let it destroy my relationship with my father too.
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” he murmured in a deep steady voice as he lifted me slightly off the ground. His embrace was warm, reminding me of my mother. His smell, a good smell, offered more comfort. His cologne I knew well, although I never could put my finger on the brand.
I said nothing. It was too painful.
With my head still muffled in my father’s arms, I heard Kate say, “Hey, Luke.”
I stood on my toes to peer over my father’s shoulder and the moment with my father was suddenly over. A new moment was beginning.
“You must be Logan?” the boy in front of me said as his deep blue eyes met mine. I was speechless. “I’m Luke. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he continued as he put his hand out in front of me. He didn’t sound sure it was a pleasure, he sounded cautiously polite, as if I were an unwelcome guest.
I didn’t move a muscle; tears still dripping off my chin.
He stood still, holding my gaze, completely undeterred by my frozen-like state. My mind, on the other hand, was blank. There was something intriguing about him, despite his stare. I was quickly trying to figure out what that ‘something’ was. He was tall and obviously toned. His confidence in himself radiated as the boy stood like a model at the end of a runway, tall, straight and quiet. A pair of the most striking blue eyes I’d ever seen – even in comparison to my mother – were perfectly framed by his square face. Dark hair that seemed to have just the slightest hint of red when the light caught just right fell in every perfectly groomed direction. It almost looked as if he had just stepped out of the shower. Too bad he chose to get dressed, I thought, as a slight smirk escaped my lips. I could feel my cheeks begin to flush. He was gorgeous. But, that wasn’t all – there was still something else. He never took his eyes away from mine like it was a contest.
“Logan, are you okay?” my father finally said, breaking my train of thought. I wanted to answer, but couldn’t find the simple words. I knew the quick shift from bawling to calm was unnatural but I wasn’t normally the emotional type – so I wasn’t very good at it. I pulled my aviators down over my eyes.
My dad stepped in front of me to hand me my purse and close Kate’s car door. In the split second that I lost sight of Luke, I felt an anxiousness inside I couldn’t explain.
“I’m fine,” I stuttered.
It was enough to move my dad out of the way, but too late. The boy was gone. Suddenly, Kate swept into view seemingly from nowhere and gestured toward the door. I had yet to see the rest of the house since I’d arrived, and Kate was making good on her promise while at lunch to take me on the grand tour.
As we walked toward the front door, I looked around searching for Luke, but he had left without a word. At the door, I was greeted by two very large dogs. Wolves, I thought, remembering the howling from last night. Behind them, my father smiled and welcomed me inside. Kate disappeared back outside with the dogs in tow just as a large semi appeared in the driveway.
“The rest of your luggage has arrived,” my dad smiled, seeming pleased.
When I said nothing in return he offered to take me on a tour of his home, assuring me, “The boys will take care of unloading your things.” At the word ‘boys,’ I felt an unsettling in my stomach. What hadn’t he told me?
The setting sunlight danced off every corner of the large, open home. The feel was rustic yet warm. My father’s pride showed as he introduced me to every room downstairs and up. Anywhere we went, soft music played from hidden speakers and the smell of sweet pine lingered in the air. The same aroma I had recognized on my father.
He opened the door to a large patio off the kitchen area as I gazed silently through the floor-to-ceiling windows. When I sat down beside him I focused on the billowy clouds forming shapes in the sky. I knew he was going to talk, but what he would say, I hadn’t a clue and I dreaded it. He’d been a man of few words my entire life.
“If there’s anything I can do to make this easier, just say the word. I know this is difficult and I haven’t been there for you like I should have been over the years, but I want you to know that I’m here for you now.” His voice broke off at the end. I played with pieces of fuzz on my sweatshirt to give me something to look at – a distraction.
“I know dad,” I finally said under my breath. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked hard enough to fend off tears. I risked a quick glance, but no sooner did I turn my face up toward him, and the water works started again. Without saying another word, my father immediately rose from his seat and came to my side. I began to sob. He lifted me out of my chair and carried me inside to the couch. It felt like déjà vu. Painfully like déjà vu.
After countless minutes of sobbing, then silence, then sobbing again, Kate appeared at the end of the couch with a steaming mug in her hand. I wiped the tears from my waterlogged eyes while my dad took the mug. They both quietly waited for me to finish getting myself together.
“I made you some green tea, Logan,” Kate said, breaking the silence as she sat down across from us. I suddenly appreciated how compassionate she’d been to me so far and gave her a small smile. She’d never replace my mother, but for a step-mother, I realized she wasn’t doing so badly.
My dad held the mug out to me and I carefully took it from his hands. Just before the mug met my lips, dad and Kate gave each other a look that I couldn’t read. I didn’t let it bother me.
“Let’s go for a walk outside,” my dad stated, not asking. He stood up and reached to take my mug. I put it to my lips again, deciding I wanted to carry it around with me. A slight grin escaped the corners of my dad’s mouth and Kate scurried back toward the kitchen, leaving us alone to head back outdoors.
The mountains looked as if they were painted underneath the cloud-filled blue sky. Stunning. Trees began to tower over us the further we walked away from the house and I noticed they encircled the property like a fence, or barrier. A well beaten path formed, leading the way as if someone had walked this same route countless t
imes. My Louboutin heels were not made for trails and I made a mental note to buy better shoes, or even boots soon. Thankfully my father seemed to be holding back his stride, giving me both the chance to keep up and to really see his profile for the first time in years.
He was a handsome; an obvious choice for someone like my mother. Navy blue eyes, sandy blonde hair and olive skin made him seem like he belonged on the beach instead of the mountains, though, he fit into his current surroundings well. Although he hadn’t said more than a few words to me since I’d arrived, I could tell without a doubt he was content here.
We walked out into an opening that gave a view of the small pond I’d seen from the patio. The sun was just beginning to kiss the tips of the mountains in the direction of the only thing I’m certain wasn’t packed on the semi-trailer… my entire life.
“Do you want to talk, Logan?” my dad finally asked, stopping to look at me. I didn’t have to think about my response.
“No.”
When he didn’t take his eyes off of me, I knew I had to answer better than that to avoid any future conversations.
“I don’t want to talk about it tonight. It’s been a really long week. She’s gone and I’m here. Those are the only two things I really know right now,” I said somberly.
“We will have more answers soon, I’m sure…,” he said, trailing off. He didn’t know what else to say. He rubbed the side of my shoulder lightly with his hand.
I closed my eyes and decided that maybe this was just what I needed. All I really had to do was get through the next twelve months. It seemed easy. I’d graduate from high school, turn eighteen and then return to California. Go back to my life.
The Violet Hour (The Violet Hour Series) Page 2