How to Date Dead Guys (The Witch's Handbook Book 1)

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How to Date Dead Guys (The Witch's Handbook Book 1) Page 32

by Ann M. Noser


  But I’m not listening.

  I turn back to the water glistening below me.

  The first time I lost Mike in the river I wanted to die. Part of me drowned in the deep water beside him that night. But what survived feels better and stronger than before. I need to do something special with this gift I’ve been given.

  I’ll help Walker solve Steve’s murder…and the others, too. As long as I have my Book of Shadows, I can fix everything.

  The river won’t win, after all.

  I will.

  After everyone she raises from the dead sinks back into the river, Emma longs for a purpose. A schedule. Something to accomplish.

  Then Officer Walker leaves a message on her voice mail: “There’s been another murder, and I need your help.”

  With a bag of witchcraft supplies slung over her shoulder, Emma performs a séance for Walker at the site of the murder. But nothing happens until Emma gets back home.

  Black smoke swirls inside the bathroom. An invisible force slams her head onto the tiled floor. A golden snake slithers across her legs, then impales her wrist with its icy teeth.

  As the smoke clears and the images fade, the truth becomes clear.

  This time around, Emma won’t just watch what happened. She’ll live it.

  As Emma helps Officer Walker solve murder cases, she relives the horror of each victim’s last moments of life. From the edge of the river to the underground lair of the gang who murdered Steve, she endures it all.

  As Emma weakens, both the victims and the murderers who killed them fight for control of her body and mind.

  She’s possessed, and the voices inside her head won’t let her ask for help.

  Even the Book of Shadows can’t save her now.

  I am the product of a Librarian who married a Physics Professor. Before bed, my parents read chapters of Laura Ingalls Wilder and C. S. Lewis books to me. The words became so familiar that opening the pages of these books is like revisiting my childhood. Thank you for giving me a love of literature. My hope is that you would be proud of who I have become as a person.

  A huge amount of thanks goes to my “Dream Team” writing group: Mike Kalmbach, Christa Worrell, and Danielle Allen. I owe you a debt that cannot be repaid. Your insight, patience, and assistance have proven invaluable.

  Thanks to my husband, Josh Noser, who has so very often given me the gift of time.

  Thanks to my wonderful friend, Colleen Chmelik, who has read and reread this book from the very first version. She is the best cheerleader a writer could ever have.

  Sincere thanks to my beta readers: Kristin D. Van Risseghem, Rachel Erickson, Kerry Todd, Erin Todd, Janette Reeves, Brenda Kalmbach, Alison Rentschler, and Esther Washington.

  Thanks to the Rochester MN Writing Group, who took me out of my self-imposed writing vacuum.

  Curiosity Quills has been wonderful. Three individuals in particular have gone so far out of their way for me that they require special attention. Thanks to Clare Dugmore, who I predict has written five million emails on my behalf while marketing this book. Thanks to Alexandria Thompson, whose beautiful artwork graces the cover. And thanks to Caitlin Spivey, whose brilliant editing guidance helped me apply the final polish to the book.

  Thanks to anyone who has ever encouraged me along the way.

  My to-do list dictates that I try to cram 48 hours of living into a day instead of the usual 24. I’ve chosen a life filled with animals. I train for marathons with my dog, then go to work as a small animal veterinarian, and finish the day by tripping over my pets as I attempt to convince my two unruly children that YES, it really IS time for bed. But I can’t wait until the house is quiet to write; I have to steal moments throughout the day. Ten minutes here, a half hour there, I live within my imagination.

  Like all busy American mothers, I multi-task. I work out plot holes during runs. Instead of meditating, I type madly during yoga stretches. I find inspiration in everyday things: a beautiful smile, a heartbreaking song, or a newspaper article on a political theory. For example, a long drive in the dark listening to an NPR program on the SMILEY FACE MURDERS theory made me ask so many questions that I wrote HOW TO DATE DEAD GUYS to answer them to my satisfaction.

  I’d love to have more time to write (and run, read, and sleep), but until I find Hermione Granger’s time turner, I will juggle real life with the half-written stories in my head. Main characters and plot lines intertwine in my cranium, and I need to let my writing weave the tales on paper so I can find out what happens next.

  Now that you have completed this book, we hope you will leave a review so that other readers may benefit from your perspective. Authors like Ann Noser live and die by your reviews, after all!

  Please visit http://curiosityquills.com/reader-survey/ to share your reading experience with the author of this book!

  Destruction, by Sharon Bayliss

  (http://j.mp/1oPaiyw)

  When David's two lost children are finally found, he learns they suffered years of unthinkable abuse. The children claim to be dark wizards, and David believes they use this fantasy to cope with their trauma. Until, David's wife admits a secret of her own—she is a dark wizard too, as is David, and all of their children.

  Now, David must parent two hurting children from a dark world he doesn’t understand and keep his family from falling apart. All while dealing with the realization that everyone he loves, including himself, may be evil.

  Sin, by Sharron Riddle

  (http://j.mp/1oPaiyw)

  My name is Sin. I killed a man in self-defense when I was sixteen. My dad wanted me committed, but Mom sent me to my druid priestess aunts in St. Charles, IL.

  I’d barely unpacked before the aunts sent me to find the stolen hellhounds. Without the hounds to herd them to the underworld, the souls of the dead are flocking to the cities. If they’re still hanging around after three days, they’ll turn into zombies.

  Van, an annoying Fey Prince, joins the hunt to find the hounds before the zombies overrun St. Charles and turn the cities into cemeteries.

  The Devil's Flower, by Lisa Collicutt

  (http://j.mp/1eCGzmB)

  Killing isn’t exactly on Rosalie Lockwood’s list of things to do when she runs away from home. But despite her search for peace; guns and motorcycles become her latest fashion accessories as Divine interference leads her to Steele, co-leader of the Fallen Paladins motorcycle club.

  Rosalieis immediately drawn into the dangers of his biker world—and into Steele’s heart.But he guards a secret that if Rosalie knew, could shatter their new love—along with the human race. The Dark and Light Realms collide as Rosalie chooses between life, death, and the ever-after to become that which she is fated to destroy.

  Darkness Watching, by Emma L. Adams

  (http://j.mp/1aFHJv1)

  Eighteen-year-old Ashlyn is one interview away from her future when she first sees the demons. Having withdrawn from the outside world out of fear that she’s going mad, Ash is thrown back into reality when she moves away to university.

  New friendships, bizarre flatmates and all-night pirate-themed parties are part of the package of student life. But when she meets Aquila, a reckless party-goer with a secret, Ash learns that there’s something else that drew her to the small village of Blackstone: the presence of the Venantium, gatekeepers of the barrier between our world and the Darkworld - the source of magic and the home of demons.

  Appetizer:

  Book Cover

  Copyright & Publisher

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Main Course:

  Part One: Bewitched

  Fear is a Relative Term

  Chapter One: Confessions of a Wallflower

  Chapter Two: Frisbee Guy

  Chapter Three: Call Down the Moon

  Chapter Four: Romeo, Wherefore Art my Brain?

  Chapter Five: Where Are My Shoes?

  Chapter Six: Officer Charlie Walker

  Chapter Seven: Under a Bl
ood Moon

  Chapter Eight: Dead Man on Campus

  Chapter Nine: Project Help Abby

  Chapter Ten: Ex-Roommate Advice

  Chapter Eleven: Mail Theft

  Chapter Twelve: Spiral Down

  Chapter Thirteen: Jake

  Chapter Fourteen: Chasing a Ghost

  Chapter Fifteen: Thanksgiving

  Chapter Sixteen: Cheater

  Chapter Seventeen: Liar, Liar

  Chapter Eighteen: Bringing Home a Boy

  Chapter Nineteen: About Last Night

  Chapter Twenty: I'll Be Home For Christmas

  Part Two: Bewildered

  Chapter Twenty-One: All I Want for Christmas is You

  Chapter Twenty-Two: Silent Night

  Chapter Twenty-Three: Surprise!

  Chapter Twenty-Four: We've Got Company

  Chapter Twenty-Five: Taming the Crew

  Chapter Twenty-Six: Fatherly Advice

  Chapter Twenty-Seven: Nosy Mama

  Chapter Twenty-Eight: Back to School

  Chapter Twenty-Nine: Ten Little Indians

  Chapter Thirty: Not Yet

  Chapter Thirty-One: Handy Man

  Chapter Thirty-Two: So You Had a Bad Day

  Chapter Thirty-Three: Making Mischief

  Chapter Thirty-Four: Surprise Visit

  Chapter Thirty-Five: The Reluctant Vegetarian

  Chapter Thirty-Six: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

  Chapter Thirty-Seven: Who Doesn't Love Apple Pie

  Chapter Thirty-Eight: Spring Thaw

  Chapter Thirty-Nine: Mustangs and Castles

  Chapter Forty: The Metal Rod

  Chapter Forty-One: Spilling Secrets

  Chapter Forty-Two: Help

  Chapter Forty-Three: Labor Pains

  Chapter Forty-Four: Don't Look in the Mirror

  Chapter Forty-Five: In The Name of the Father

  Chapter Forty-Six: Spin a Web

  Chapter Forty-Seven: And Then There Was One

  Chapter Forty-Eight: Showdown

  Chapter Forty-Nine: Walker's Secret

  Chapter Fifty: Roadkill

  Chapter Fifty-One: Wedding Crashers

  Chapter Fifty-Two: Take Me to the River

  Dessert:

  Teaser: How to Ditch Dead Guys (Book Two)

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Thank You for Reading

  More from Curiosity Quills Press

 

 

 


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